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1、好了各位丰收节就是明天了Okay,everybody.TheHarvestFestivalistomorrow.我为你们所有人感到骄傲AndIamsoproudofallofyou.你们都很努力你们特别棒Youveworkedsohard.Youreamazing.所以我要给你们一个惊喜这可能是So,Ihaveasurprise.Anditispossibly可能对任何人发生thebestthingtopotentiallyeverhappentoanyone,在任何地方整个宇宙历史上最好的事情了anywhere,inthehistoryoftheuniverse.女士们先生们有请世界知名的L
2、ilSebastian1.adiesandgentlemen,theworldfamousLilSebastian.什么是的What?-Yes.骗人的吧Noway!哦我的天啊Oh,myGod!真的是他Itsreallyhim.那真的是LilSebastian-是的就是他ThatsreallyLilSebastian?-Yes,thisishim.那就是LilSebastian啊-给我照相给我照相ThatisLilSebastian?-Takemypicture.Takemypicture.干得漂亮Leslie干得漂亮Welldone,Leslie.Welldone!我从没想过能见到他Ineve
3、rthoughtdgettomeethim.1.ilSebastian出道于1.ilSebastianmadehisdebut1987年上一届的丰收节atthelastHarvestFestivalin1987,“小马大事立即风靡全国andhewasaninstantphenomenon.那一周他是全美第八多被拍摄的对象Thatweek,hewastheeighthmostphotographedobjectinAmerica.德克萨斯独♥立♥战争中的重要要塞所以吃土吧阿♥拉♥莫博物馆So,suckit,TheAlamo.我就坐在LilS
4、ebastian旁边msittingnexttoLi,lSebastian.我知道我知道Iknow,Iknow.现在我在这LilSebastian就在那儿Rightnow,mhere,LilSebastiansrightthere.哇所以我错过了什么这匹小马有啥特别的Wow.So,whatamImissing?What,sthedealwiththispony?他不是小马Ben他是迷你马区别老大了Hesnotapony,Ben.He,samini-horse.Theresabigdifference.那为什么他这么出名呢Well,then,whyishesofamous?他做过什么吗有什么事迹
5、Doeshedosomething?Whatdoeshedo?是啊他当迷你马比谁都更优秀Yeah,hedoesbeingamini-horseandhedoesitbetterthananyone.孩子这匹马拥有巴黎圣母院的荣誉学位Son,thishorsehasanhonorarydegreefromNotreDame.我们都得十分小心好吗Weallneedtobeverycareful.Okay?记住这个小家伙现在已经25岁了Remember.Thislittleguyis25now.他两只眼睛都有白内障Andhehascataractsinbotheyes.他还有严重的关节炎Jerry要
6、来照顾他Hehasseverearthritis.Jerrysgoingtolookafterhim.是的我们吃的糖尿病药是一样的Yes,Iam.Wearebothonthesamediabetesmedication.你是我的利糖妥伙伴吧AreyoumyGlucotrolbuddy?是不是呀Areyou?特别棒吧Isntitamazing?我只想诚实说Yeah,Ijustgottabehonest.我不知道这有什么大不了的Idontknowwhatthebigdealis.Getout.公园与游憩公园与游憩第3季第4集第3季第4集好能不能把Sues沙拉放在这呢Okay,couldntyoup
7、utSuesSaladshere?炸透大道吗OnDeepFriedBoulevard?就垃圾食品店太多了只有一家沙拉摊It,sjust.Theressomanyjunkfoodplacesandonlyonesaladstand.嗯我们想挣钱不想让人们讨厌自己Well,wewannamakemoney,notmakepeoplehatethemselves.沙拉就是我的生命Saladsaremylife.当然对不起Ofcourse.msorry.你知道我们该怎么做吗Youknowwhatwelldo?我们将Sues沙拉定为We,llmakeSuesSaladstheofficial丰收节官方健
8、康选择healthychoiceoftheHarvestFestival.好啊Well!那太好了谢谢Thatsgreat.Thankyou.当然没事Ofcourse.Sure.反正也没人会去你的蠢摊?Nobodysgonnacometoyourstupidboothanyway.你说什么msorry?丰收节是我职业生涯中最大的项目TheHarvestFestivalisthebiggestthingveeverdoneinmycareer.如果它失败了公园部会被裁掉Andifitfails,theParksDepartmentwillbeeliminated.所以我们要往大了做Thatswhy
9、weregoingbig.7天的时间超过30个活动地点预计游客5万人以上Sevendays,over30differentlocations,fiftythousandplusvisitors还有4个接待亭andfourhospitalitykiosks.天我不能再以那个无聊东西作为结尾了God,Ivegottostopendingonthatboringthing.小丑表演Clowns.嗯不你不能卖♥♥自酿水Well,no,youcannotsellhome-brewedwater.也再说一次不我不想尝Andagain,no,Iwouldnotliketotast
10、eit.不过还是感谢前来Butthankyouforcomingin.April下一个是谁April,whosnext?天你真的是得心应手Man,youarejustknockingtheseoff.你就像是个忍♥者和绝地武士交叉之类的角色YourelikeaninjacrossedwithaJediorsomething.你就像是个呆子和宅男交叉之类的角色Yourelikeanerdmixedwithadorkorsomething.Tom星球大战才没有那么宅好嘛Tom,StarWarsisnotthatnerdy.”不星球大战才没有那么宅”No,StarWarsisnotth
11、atnerdy.就不是啊所有人都看过了所有人都看过了”It,snot.Everyonehasseenit.-Everyonehasseenit.这个家伙来了Thisguyshere.嘿Ken-嗨LeslieHey,Ken.-Hi,Leslie.这二位是Ben和TomThisisBenandTom.那可是个很尾♥的饰扣啊Thatsadopebolo.这位是KenHotateThisisKenHotate.他是Wamapoke的部落首领HeisthetriballeaderoftheWamapoke.您好尊贵的客人我刚说的是“您好尊贵的客人”Ijustsaid,Hello,honor
12、edguest.虽然字面意义上Although,literallytranslated,它说的是“希望你被一百万只负鼠祝福”itmeans,Mayyoubeblessedwithamillionpossums.Wamapoke人曾用负鼠作为货币TheWamapokeusedtousepossumascurrency.那Well.红色的红色的马车车轮红色的马车车轮乱♥伦♥不别好吧No,dont.Okay.请坐Ken我知道你为何在此Haveaseat.Ken,1knowwhyyourehere.请听我说我们真的尽力了Andjustletmesaythatwereally
13、tried.很抱歉LeSHe但这是个大事msorry,Leslie,butthisisabigone.我也有很大的压力munderalotofpressure.我需要正式请求你迁移嘉年华的地点mgoingtoneedtoformallyaskyoutomovethecarnival.抱歉什么情况msorry.Whatsgoingon?嘉年华地址是印第安山之战的旧址ThecarnivalisonthesiteoftheBattleofIndianHill,在此Wamapoke输一场长达七天的史诗般的战役whichwasanepicseven-daybattlethattheWamapokelos
14、t因为他们没有任何武器duetothefactthattheydidnthaveanyweapons.战斗之中93岁的Wakote酋长Duringthebattle,93-year-oldChiefWakote被骑兵射中了102次wasshot102timesbythecavalry.他死了吗Didhedie?是的Yes.接下来的七天里这个瞬间会以射击照相馆和油炸面团摊来纪念Andthismomentwillbecommemoratedforthenextsevendayswithshootinggalleriesandfrieddoughstands.Ken我理解但这是镇上唯一一个Ken,I
15、understand,butthisistheonlyplaceintown能够囊括下嘉年华活动场地的地方thatsbigenoughtohousethecarnivalrides.此外你也知道Pawnee的历史Plus,youknowwithPawneeshistory,想做到不冒犯真的很难itsverydifficulttonotbeoffensive.这幅地图显示的是Pawnee移居者ThisisamapofalltheatrocitiesthePawneesettlers对WamaPoke印第安人犯下暴行的地方inflictedupontheWamapokeIndians.这些暴行是以
16、蓝色显示的Theatrocitiesareinblue.我们设立了一个纪念牌匾Weputupamemorialplaque,我们在历史帐篷里也设置了Wamapoke展区andwehaveaWamapokeexhibitinthehistorytent.我们真的在努力尝试rWerereallytrying.我完全理解你们我是说我真的理解Icompletelyunderstandyou,Imean,Ireallydo.但这块地是神圣的埋葬地Butthisissacredburialground.我只希望我祖先们的灵魂AndIjusthopethatthesoulsofmyancestors不要给这
17、个节日下诅咒dontputacurseonthisfestival.我知道两件关于白人的事情TherearetwothingsIknowaboutwhitepeople.他们爱RachelRay他们害怕诅咒TheyloveRachaelRayandtheyareterrifiedofcurses.就在这边没问题了谢谢.rightoverthere.Wellbegood.Thanks.嘿-嘿Hey.-Hey.所以有人我不想说是谁So,somebody,Idontwanttosaywho,完全是我让SWeetUmS又捐赠了15台棉花糖机itwastotallyme,gotSweetumstodon
18、ateanother15cottoncandymachines.棒糖果谈-是Great!Sweets!-Yeah.接招啊诅咒-接招啊诅咒Takethat,curse.-Takethacurse.嗷嗷嗷0w,ow,ow!正中胸口火箭炮Rightinthechest.Bazooka.再打一次你死掉了Fireitagain.Youredead.火箭炮Bazooka.真好玩啊-开个房♥吧你俩Thatsfunny.-Getaroom.好的伙计们注意了Okay,soguys,focusup.JoanCallamezzo带f个摄制组来JoanCallamezzoiscomingbywithac
19、ameracrew在明天丰收节开幕之前拍最后的独家专访foranexclusive,lastminutewalk-throughoftheHarvestFestivalbeforeweopentomorrow.所以一切都必须是完美的So,everythingneedstobeperfect.Joan总是在找丑闻Joanisalwayslookingforascandal.她就像是个鹰眼的老虎Sheslikeaneagle-eyedtiger.鹰眼之虎新乐队名字我占了Eagle-EyedTiger.Newbandname.Icallit.所以所有人聚集起来我们来拉个手So,everybody,g
20、atheraround.Letsgrabhands.我不拉手-好吧1dontholdhands.-Okay.你们都是很好的很令人惊讶的人Youreallamazing,wonderfulpeople.我真心希望你们今天能玩得开心AndIreallywantyoutohavefuntoday不要考虑如果一件事出错andnotfocusonthefactthatifonethinggoeswrong,我们都会失业的事实这可不鼓舞人心wereallgoingtoloseourjobs.-That,snotinspiring.好的我们都加把劲吧-好的是的Okay.Letsgogetthemeveryb
21、ody.-Okay.Yes.有任何担心的向Ron提出来-是的Anyconcerns,addressthemtoRon.-Yes.做Leslie老板的优势是她自己把事情都做完了TheadvantageofbeingLeslie,sbossisthatshedoeseverythingherself所以从来不会有问题andthereareneveranyproblems.这也意味着下一周Whichmeansforthenextweek,我可以坐在草坪椅上读这本关于老旧船只的书Icansitinalawnchairandreadthisbookaboutoldboats.抱歉我得回去工作了Excus
22、eme,Ihavetogetbacktowork.嘿你和那个完美假人到底发生了什么啊Hey,whateverhappenedtoyouandtheBionicMan?Chris吗他和我分手了Chris?Hebrokeupwithme,但他做得太温柔了我甚至都没意识到buthediditsonicelythatIdidntevenrealizehedidit.我对很多男人都这么做过Ivedonethattomultiplemen.你情况如何呢你还好吗Howareyoudoing?Areyoudoingokay?太感谢你问这个了Thankyousomuchforasking.很艰难是的两天前It,
23、sbeentough.Yeah.Twodaysago,我在一家披萨自助店里哭他们请我出去Iwassobbingatapizzabuffet,andtheyaskedmetoleave.我看了一堆领养狗狗的网站Ivebeenlookingatsomedogadoptionwebsites.Anthropologie买♥♥了$700的蜡烛Bought$700worthofcandlesfromAnthropologie.我把头发做成这样了你知道Ididthistomyhair.Youknow,基本的谷底发疯操作yourbasicbottomingoutkindofstu
24、ff.是哦通常人们告诉你要聊你的问题Yeah.Normally,peopletellyoutotalkaboutyourproblems.我的建议是你还是憋着吧mgoingtorecommendyoubottlethatnoiseup.我的邮差也是这么说的Thatswhatmymailmansaid.吃吃.Muah-muah.吃葡萄吃葡萄不吐葡萄皮Murder.Murderthemostmelons.”谋杀谋杀最多的西瓜”八百标兵奔北坡北坡炮兵并排跑ShaquilIeshowered.ShameonShakirassheets.”沙至尔奥尼尔洗了澡夏奇拉的床上充满了耻辱”你好JOan-你好啊L
25、eslieHello,Joan.-Hello,Leslie.看起来这个节日令人印象深刻呢1.ookslikeaveryimpressivefestival.但我们走着瞧Butwellsee.走着瞧你记得Ben吧Wellsee.-YourememberBen.嗨-很高兴再次见到你Hi.-Itsnicetoseeyouagain.我们开始吧-好的1.etsgetstarted.-Okay.丰收节活动地点遍布整个镇Now,thefestivalisspreadthroughoutthetown,但核心还是嘉年华butthecenterpieceisthecarnival.这边是印第安纳州最大的玉米迷
26、宫AndoverhereisIndianaslargestcornmaze.哇这是Pawnee玉米还是Eagleton玉米啊Wow.IsthatPawneecornorEagletoncorn?Pawnee玉米是有机的Pawneecorn.Anditsorganic.这边是我们美丽的摩天轮Overhere,wehaveourbeautifulFerriswheel.美丽但很致命Beautiful,butdeadly.这个巨大的死亡之轮上一次检查是什么时候Whenwasthelasttimethisgiantwheelofdeathwasinspected?实际上这周已经两次了Actually,
27、twiceinthelastweek,所有东西都是百分百符合规定的andeverythingis100%uptocode.这些游乐场人员有多少的非法移♥民♥Howmanyofthesecarniesareillegals?没有都是美国公民None.They,reallU.S.citizens.这边这个摊位印第安纳篮球传奇LarryBirdOverinthisbooth,IndianabasketballlegendLarryBirds84岁的姨妈Tilda会在周四前来做两小时的签售84-year-oldAuntTildawillbesigningautographs
28、fortwohoursonThursday.你们请到了TiIda吗是的YougotTilda?-Yeah.哦-我们请到TildaTOh!-WegotTilda.但真正的意外亮点在那儿Buttherealcoupisoverthere.1.i,lSebastian1.i,lSebastian.你&hearts他♥妈♥在逗我吗Areyoufuckingkiddingme?你们请到了Li,lSebastianYougotLi,lSebastian?自己看吧Seeforyourself.哇他也太可爱Wow.Heissoadorable.谢谢JoanLilSebastian也
29、不差啊Thankyou,Joan.AndLi,lSebastianisntbad,either!Tom-你好吗Tom!-Howareyou?很好-很高兴见到你等等Good.-Goodtoseeyou.Holdonasecond.什么你隆胸了吗What?-Didyougetyourbreastsdone?你看起来太美了Youlookamazing.是的感谢注意Yes,thanksfornoticing.Joan听我说这个丰收节Joan,listentome.ThisHarvestFestival,会让你叹为观止的itsgoingtoknockyoursocksoff等你叹完了我会在那把你的气仝都
30、打回去的Andwhenitdoes,mgoingtobetheretogiveyouafootmassage.让你圆♥满♥Tocompletion.好吧Okay.我的上帝啊GoodLord.我发誓简直就像他们不想让你赢Iswear.Itsalmostliketheydon,twantyoutowin.那你要好好练习了你得给我赢一只泰迪熊Well,youbetterpractice.Youvegottowinmeateddybear.我要给你赢一百万只泰迪熊mgoingtowinyouamillionteddybears.那我要十亿只泰迪熊Well,Iwantabil
31、lionteddybears.嗯那就有点不切实际了Well,that,salittleunrealistic.这个游戏还是很困难的Thisisahardgame.两百万只Twomillion.成交-好的Deal.-Alright.嘿我爱你Hey,Iloveyou.哥们真的假的啊那可真带劲儿啊Dude,shutup!Thatisawesomesauce.你可真是个好孩子啊Youresuchagoodboy.Jerry别来烦LilSebastianTJerry,stopbotheringLilSebastian.1.eslie说我该照看他一会儿1.esliesaidIshouldwatchhimf
32、oralittlebit.完美我去给他找个尾巴发圈Perfect.vegottogogethimatailscrunchie.嗨LilSebastian怎么样啊你Hi,LilSebastian,howsitgoing?挺好的啊就是吃点草然后呆着呗Prettygood.Justeatingsomehay,hangingout.你叫什么名字啊Whatsyourname?我叫TOmMyname,sTom.你穿得真上档次啊Yourereallywell-dressed.我喜欢你把T恤穿在礼服衬衫外面IlikehowyougotyourT-shirtoveryourdressshirt.你看起来比这里的
33、其他人酷多了Youlookwaycoolerthaneverybodyelsehere.1.ilSebastian别啊你说得我都脸红了1.i,lSebastian,comeon,youremakingmeblush.大部分人见到LilSebastian时MostpeopleIookatLilSebastian看见的都是一只著名迷你马andtheyseeafamousmini-horse.而我看见的是一个给我的酒吧蛇洞酒吧打广♥告♥的机会Iseeanadvertisingopportunityformyclub,theSnakeholeLounge.哇这可是个大得让人
34、震惊的迷你马勃起啊Wow.Thatisashockinglyhugemini-horseerection.我不觉得这句话不专业但我想说IdontthinkmbeingunprofessionalwhenIsaythat我真的希望有点狗血的八卦Ireallywashopingformoretawdryscandals.嗯-这边的这位朋友Ben呢Well.-WhataboutyourfriendBenhere?我们都知道他的历史一个失败跟我们说说那次失败Weallknowhisstory.Oneoffailure,remindusofthatfailure.嗯你知道当我18岁当市长时Well,yo
35、uknow,whenIwasan18-year-oldmayor,我试着建一座大型冬季体育场名叫“冰城”ItriedtobuildawintersportscomplexcalledIceTown,结果让城市破了产anditbankruptedthecity.哎呀Yikes.我也是高中棒球队的游击手IwasalsoshortstopofmyJ.V.baseballteam.但是就没见人问过啊Nooneeverbringsthatup.而现在你掺和进这件事了Andnow,youreinvolvedwiththis.我好像闻到了又一场灾难呢希望是DoIsmellanotherdisaster,ho
36、pefully?听着Joan这个丰收节1.ook,Joan,thisfestival,多亏LeslieKnope孜孜不倦的努力thankstothetirelesseffortsofLeslieKnope,只会给人们带来幸福的isgoingtobringpeoplenothingbuthappiness.即使我也没办法搞砸这个NotevenIcouldscrewthatup.我是个记者不是你的心理咨♥询♥师mareporter,notyourtherapist.所以任何时候有人给他拍照蛇洞的logo就在里面So,anytimesomeonetakesapicture
37、ofhim,theSnakeholeslogoisinit.我是个天才吧AmIageniusorwhat?嘿TOmLilSebastian去哪了Hey,Tom.WheresLilSebastian?呃Uh.有人忘了关门让他跑出去了JerrySomebodyleftthegateopenandhegotout,Jerry.什么你在说什么啊What?Whatareyoutalkingabout?难以置信Unbelievable.你冗长的失败史上再添一笔Anotherinalongstringofmiserablefailures.你搞丢了LilSebastianYoulostLilSebastia
38、n!我都不在这啊是啊Iwasn,tevenhere!Exactly.希望我能把你拖出这个麻烦HopefullyIcangetyououtofthismess这个只有你没有别人造成的麻烦thatyouandnooneelsecaused.你才是那个看着他的人啊Youweretheonewatchinghim.嗯差劲的工人还要怪他的工具Well,itsapoorworkmanthatblameshistools.你去找他我去告诉所有人你做的事Youlookforhim.mgoingtogotelleveryonewhatyoudid.丰收节明早9点开始TheHarvestFestivalstart
39、sat9:00a.m.tomorrowmorning.在这位记者看来很值得你一来Andasfarasthisreporterisconcerned,itswellworthyourtime.来看看吧各位会很甜美的Comeondown,everyone.Itsgoingtobesweet说这句话让我真难受但是你们干得好Itpainsmetosaythis,but,greatjobhere.谢谢Thankyou.很顺利啊Thatwentwell.是确实是Yeah.Itdid.去死吧诅咒去死吧诅咒Takethat,curse.-Takethat,curse.抱歉说什么诅咒Sorry?Whatisth
40、isaboutacurse?诅咒-什么Curse?-What?没有啊-你说.Nothing.-Didyou.1.eslieLeslie是Li,lSebastian他走丢T1.eslie!Leslie!It,sLilSebastian.He,sgone.Jerry放他跑了我们不知道他在哪Jerrylethimescape,andwedontknowwhereheis.摄像机别关我们重新录一个开场Keepthosecamerasup.Wevegotanewintrotodo.抓到你了Gotcha.我们继续拍点剥落油漆和哭泣婴儿之类的1.etsgoahead.Letsgetsomeshotsofch
41、ippedpaintandcryingbabies.还有那些吓人的红绿灯好吧这一套你熟Howaboutsomeofthosespookytrafficlights?Okay,youknowthedrill.这是Wamapoke的复仇吗IsitrevengeoftheWamapoke?还是无能政♥府♥的失控Anincompetentgovernmentrunamuck?抑或是比这些事情更糟糕的原因Orprobablysomethingevenworsethananyofthosethings?虽然看起来一切都为明天准备就绪Whileitseemedeverything
42、wasreadyfortomorrow事情并不总是像看上去的样子thingsarentalwaysexactlyastheymayseem.搞定了Nailedit.这下坏了对吧Thisisbad,right?是的这很糟糕Yes,thisisbad.这就像是屎的旋风这是个屎旋风Thisislikeapooptornado.Thisislikeapoop-nado.好吧恶心但我们能承受一点糟糕的公共形象吧LeslieOkay,gross.Butwecanhandlealittlebadpublicity,Leslie.这比那严重多了Thisiswayworsethanthat.这是个巨大的政&he
43、arts;府♥工程已经是根避雷针了Thisisahugegovernmentproject,anditsalreadyalightningrod.然后你加上Wamapoke的争议双重避雷针Andthen,youaddtheWamapokecontroversy,doublelightningrod.再加上我们弄丢了那只小马Plus,welostthatlittlepony.是迷你马Itsamini-horse.那就是第三根避雷针二重避雷针Andthatsthethirdlightningrod.Triplelightningrod.然后你加上诅咒四重避雷针Andthen,youh
44、avethecurse.Quadruplelightningrod.这是个经典的四针灾难Thisisaclassicfour-rod-disaster.是哦是那种东西啊Right,oneofthose.神啊现在那些商户都要退出了God,nowallthevendorsaregoingtobail,售票量也会降低的andtheticketsaleswillgodown.等等抱歉问下这个镇的人真的相信诅咒吗Wait.msorry,butdopeopleinthistownreallybelieveincurses?Pawnee是个极其迷信的镇子Pawneesanincrediblysupersti
45、tioustown.有一次一个旅行魔术师过来了从帽子里拽出了只兔子Atravelingmagiciancamethroughonetimeandhepulledarabbitoutofahat暴民们以为他是个男巫把他绑在柱子上烧死了andthemobburnedhimatthestakeforbeingawitch.那一年是1973年Theyearwas1973.我们现在形势真的不妙啊我们现在该怎么办啊Wearereallyupacreekhere.Whattheheckarewegoingtodo?你是说你现在该怎么办Youmean,whatareyougonnado?不你现该在怎么办No,whataredogonnayou?我现该在怎么办WhatamdogonnaI?那是个好问题JerryThatsagreatquestion,Jerry.你们敢相信我们居然把Li1ISebastian留给这位先生看管了吗CanyoubelieveweleftLilSebastianwiththisgentleman?你才是看着他的人Okay,youweretheonew
