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1、圣诞快祝贺-啥MerryCongratu-Christmas!-What?一半是“圣诞快乐“一半是“祝贺”HalfMerryChristmas/halfCongratulations/1因为我刚刚收到一些消息becauseIjustreceivedsomenews.你RonSwanson被提名You,RonSwanson,havebeennominatedforanaward获得了印第安纳精致木工协会的奖项fromtheIndianaFineWoodworkingAssociation.你又是怎么听说的Howdidyouhearaboutthat?我开了个RonSWanSOn的Google提醒
2、已经七年了终于有回报vehadaRonSwansonGooglealertforsevenyearsanditfinallypaidoff.最近我做了把椅子Recently,Imadeachair.我完成的时候觉得这是把好椅子WhenIwasfinished,Ithoughtitwasagoodchair.我提交给了印第安纳精致木工协会IsubmittedittotheIndianaFineWoodworkingAssociation,他们感觉值得被考虑获奖whofeltitmeritedconsiderationforanaward.真是场旋风般的体验It,sbeenarealwhirlwi
3、nd.我必须承认我得这个奖深感荣幸Ihavetoconfess,mveryhonoredbythisnomination.对吧Right?这可能是第一次我想参加一个活动了Thismightbethefirsttimeveeverwantedtoattendanevent.哦天哪我爱活动啊Oh,myGod,Iloveevents!等不及今晚要去了Icantwaittogotonight.你为什么要去呢Whyareyougoing?作为你自我认命的情感护卫Asyourself-appointedemotionalguardian,我的责任是爱你和支持你itismydutytoloveandsupp
4、ortyou.此外你知道这可是大事Plus,youknow,thisisabigdeal.你不该一个人去的Youshouldntbetherealone.正是这样我要带Diane去Thatscorrect.mbringingDiane.我们的进展非常的好Thingsaregoingverywellwithus.更好了我能见到Diane很激动Evenbetter.IamveryexcitedtomeetDiane.你是不会接受拒绝的对吧Yourenottakingnoforananswer,areyou?哦我忘了给你唱我的圣诞快祝贺颂歌♥了Oh,Iforgottosingyoumy
5、MerryCongratu-Christmascarol.叮叮当叮叮耶铃儿你真棒JJinglebells,jingleyay,jinglegoodforyouJ出去行Getout-Yup.公园与游憩公园与游憩第5季第9集第5季第9集Eagleton那家新开的寿司店如何HowaboutthenewsushiplaceinEagleton?我对寿司过敏mallergictosushi.每次我吃掉超过80个寿司我就会吐EverytimeIeatmorethan80sushis,Ibarf.嘿Ann最近去过啥时髦餐厅吗什么情况Hey,Ann,youbeentoanyswankyrestaurantsl
6、ately?-Whatstheoccasion?十二月了ItsDecember.又到了我们庆祝最神圣最特别活动的时候Itsthetimewecelebrateourmostsacredandspecialevent:Jerry晚餐-Jerry晚餐JJerryDinner-JJerryDinnerJerry晚餐-JeITy晚餐jJerryDinner-J*JerryDinnerJerry晚餐是什么鬼WhatthehellisJerryDinner?每次我们嘲笑Jerry做的什么蠢事EverytimewelaughatsomethingstupidJerrydoes,我们就在这个盒子里放一块钱we
7、putadollarinthisbox.晚餐基金一年结束我们把所有钱拿来去吃豪华大餐Attheendoftheyear,wetakeallthecashandtreatourselvestoafancydinner.今年我们有Thisyear,wehave.$516$516.哦哎呀Aw,jeez!然后517Andthats517.哦Oh!518518.你们啊Youguys!也太卑鄙了Thatssomean.如果他不知道就不算卑鄙啊lt,snotmeanifhedoesntknowaboutit.就像是在背后讨论其他人所有人都赢rItsliketalkingaboutpeoplebehindth
8、eirbacks.Everybodywins.不No.你们至少该邀请Jerry一起去吃饭啊YoushouldatleastinviteJerrytothedinner.哈Ha!那也太好笑了你该去讲单口Thatshilarious.Youshoulddostand-up.如果你开玩笑你就太烂了但你是认真的话Ifyourekidding,yousuck,butifyoureserious,我实际上在考虑呢Iactuallyhavebeenthinkingaboutit嘿AprilMatlock打电♥话♥来想把他的毛衣要【可去Hey,April,Matlockcalled
9、.Hewantshiscardiganback.哈退场Boom!mout.Matlock是谁啊Who,sMatlock?嘿兄弟嘿Hey,bud.-Hey!还好吗-很棒Howareyou?-Great.我刚刚写完一篇做梦日记Ijustfinishedmakinganentryinmydreamjournal.这一次大蜘蛛被我的网困住了Thistime,thegiantspidergotcaughtinmyweb.有进步哦Progress.所以我觉得我从华盛顿回来之后我们没有太多时间在一起了SoIfeellikewehaventgottenatonoftimetogethersinceIgotba
10、ckfromD.C.嗯我们都在认真的关系之中啊Well,Webothareinseriousrelationships.你有LeSHe我有我的咨♥询♥师YouhaveLeslieandIhavemytherapist,RichardNygard医生我一周见他15次Dr.RichardNygard,whoIsee15timesaweek.嗯Leslie今晚有事所以我一个人Well,Lesliehasplanstonight,somsolo.你想出来玩吗-可以啊Youwannahangout?-dloveto.就-就像和以前在IndianaPOliS一样It-itllb
11、ejustlikeoldtimesinIndianapolis.我们回来了好嘲Wereback.-Allright.太多拥抱了1.otsofhugs.欢迎来到印第安纳精致木工颁奖礼WelcometotheIndianaFineWoodworkingAwards,或者我的叫法orasIliketocallit,天堂heaven.Ron-啊Ron.-Ah!1.eslie容我介绍下DianeLewis1.eslie,mayIpresentDianeLewis?Diane这位是LeslieKnopeDiane,thisisLeslieKnope.Diane哇Ron跟我说了好多你的事情啊Diane,wo
12、w.Ronhastoldmesomuchaboutyou,就说了你的名字叫Diane而且你存在inthathehastoldmeyournameisDiane,andyouexist.哦是的他不喜欢分享Oh,yeah.Hesnotabigsharer.我甚至不知道他的中间名是什么1dontevenknowwhathismiddlenameis.哦是UIyssesOh,itsUlysses.我看出来他为什么没说了Icanseewhyhedidnttellmethat.老天爷的亲娘啊Mary,motherofGod.木工艺师此处为本人那是ChristianBecksvoortThatsChrist
13、ianBecksvoort!他是夏克风格的现代大♥师♥HesthemodernmasteroftheShakerstyle.我做梦都没想过能见到他本人IneverdreamedthatIwouldseehimintheflesh.过去打个招呼吧Gooverandsayhello.不用我肯定他通常都会沉浸在各种人的关注里吧No,msurehegetsswampedwithattentionallthetime.哦女士们失陪了Ooh,ifyouladieswillexcuseme,有一台粗刨需要我去关注一下thereisajackplanethatneedsmyatte
14、ntion.去吧Goonthen.所以跟我讲讲你的一切吧Sotellmeeverythingaboutyourself:你的孩子你的爱好Yourkids,yourhobbies.你的五个最重要的希望梦想恐惧和懊悔都是什么Whatareyourfivebiggesthopes,dreams,fears,andregrets?为了庆祝JeITy晚餐InhonorofJerryDinner,我们每个人说一下过去一年最喜欢的Jerry时刻let,seachsayourfavoriteJerrymomentfromthepastyear.好谈-我的是.Yes.-Minewas.他踩到一个肉桂卷滑倒在一堆
15、垃圾里Thetimeheslippedonacinnabonandlandedinabunchofgarbage.我最喜欢的Jerry时刻是他吃了一碗浆糊那次MyfavoriteJerrymomentwaswhenheateabowlofglue.我最喜欢的Jerry时刻MyfavoriteJerrymomentis是你把他的土豆汤换成浆糊他还不知道的那次whenyouswitchedouthispotatosoupwithglueandhedidntknow.你欺负人的时候太可爱了宝Youresocutewhenyourebullying,babe.你们知道吗Ann说得对Youknowwha
16、t?Annwasright.这样太卑鄙了我们去接JerryThisismean.WearegoingtopickupJerry.啥别啊-不What?No!-No!现在是圣诞时节你们就不想当个好人吗It,sChristmastime.Dontyouwanttobegoodpeople?没有啊-永不Notreally.-Never.嘿如果我们往那边走的话能在我们那稍微停一下吗Hey,ifweregoingthatway,canwestopatourplacerealquick?因为我忘了涂除臭剂了CauseIforgottoputondeodorant.还忘了穿夹克还忘了穿其中一只袜子Andaja
17、cketandoneofmysocks.还有我要拉屎但这事儿停哪都行Plus,Igottapoop,butIcouldstopanywhereforthat.我知道你没有如果你去了霍格华兹魔法学校Iknowyoudidnt,butifyouhadgonetoHogwartsAcademy,你觉得会进那个学院呢whichHousedoyouthinkyouwouldhavebeen?你看很明显1.ook,obviously,我想说格兰芬多但是IwanttosayGryffindor,but.我还是要选择赫奇帕奇vegottogowithHufflepuff我尊重你的诚实Irespectyourh
18、onesty.格兰芬多魁地奇队的找球手Gryffindor.SeekerontheQuidditchteam.Diane那就是我的椅子了就在那Diane,thatsmychair,rightthere.太美了ROn你的就是赢家Itsbeautiful,Ron.Yoursisthewinner.我不确定我有机会mnotsureIstandachance.嘿你肯定有啊Hey,youmostcertainlydo.他们不选你才奇怪呢Theydbecrazynottovoteforyou.哪个是Ron的啊我也不知道WhichoneisRons?-1dontknow.聪明有趣独♥立&hea
19、rts;还性感啊Smart,funny,independent,andsexy?DianeSawyerABC电视台新闻主播DianeLewis吗更像是DianeSawyerDianeLewis?MorelikeDianeSawyer.哇Gergich家在干啥啊Whoa!WhatisgoingonattheGergiches?哦天啊Jerry在开圣诞派对Oh,myGod!JerryshavingaChristmasparty!不敢相信他居然没邀请我们Icantbelievehedidntinviteus.他怎么敢我们对他做了什么啊Howdarehe!Whatdweeverdotohim?可能只请
20、r家人吧It,sprobablyjustfamily.还有Ben和ChrisAndBenandChris.还有Ann我都不知道她还认识Jerry的AndAnn.IdidntevenknowsheknewJerry.哇GergiCh一家真的是全力以赴啊Wow.TheGergichesreallygoallout.这也太棒了Thisisincredible.嗯这真的是我喝过最好的脱脂蛋奶酒Mmm!Thisisliterallythebestnon-fateggnogIveeverhad.保持冷静但我觉得你喝的就是普通的全脂的蛋奶酒Remaincalm,butIthinkyoujustdrankso
21、meoftheregular,full-fateggnog.普通蛋奶酒Chris一杯不会要你命的Chris,onecupwontkillyou.不会但会正好增加440大卡No,butitwilladdexactly440calories.但你知道吗我没事Butyouknowwhat?mfine.你只活一次Youonlyliveonce.嗯Mmm!我不知道你知不知道Idontknowifyouknowthis,但全脂的东西尝起来比脱脂的好太多了butthingswithfatinthemtastewaybetterthanthingswithnofat.是啊Chris-所有人都知道的Yeah,C
22、hris-everybodyknowsthat.Ron猜猜为啥我竖着大拇指不Ron,guesswhymythumbsareup.-No.因为我要给你我对DianeI00%的认可Becausemgivingyoumy100%approvalaboutDiane.她对你很完美她理解你Sheisperfectforyou.Shegetsyou.她现在IE在吧台为你点了一杯纯的LagaVUlin给你SheisatthebarrightnoworderingaLagavulinneatforyou.我是说她甚至忍♥受了这一切愚蠢无聊的木工玩艺儿Imean,shesevenputtingup
23、withallthisstupid,boringwoodworkingstuff.很抱歉但你们知道的这也不是超级碗啊伙计们msorry,but,youknow,it,snottheSuperBowl,guys.我们消停一点1.etstakeitdownanotch.无论如何你得到我的批准了Anyway,youhavemyapproval.我不需要你的批准Idontneedyourapproval.但你得到了不需要Butyouhaveit.-Don,tneedit但你有了Butyougotit.这可能会变成ThiscouldendupbeingRonSwanson这辈f最好的一晚thebestn
24、ightinRonSwanson,slife.我太太为他高兴了一Iamso,sohappyforhim-你们好啊美丽的手工艺人们Hello,yougorgeouscraftsmen.哇看看这个房♥间啊Wow,lookatthisroom.这么多木材准备好被加工呢Somuchwood,readytobeworked.”这么多阴♥茎♥准备好被搞了”见我娘的鬼了Fuckme!警报警报警报警报Alert.alert,alert,alert.她来了是吧Sheshere,isntshe?哦嘿Ron真是巧合啊Oh,hey,Ron.Whatacoincidence.糟
25、糕啊我做梦都没想到你在这里啊Gosh,1neverdreamedyoudbehere.Tammy这位是DianeTammy,thisisDiane.Diane这块人形垃圾名叫TammyDiane,thisisapieceofhumangarbagenamedTammyz也是我的前妻whoisalsomyex-wife.两次的前妻我们结过两次婚Twiceex-wife.Weweremarriedtwice.也离了两次Anddivorcedtwice.一切都结束了他俩完全结束了Everythingisdone.Theyaretotallydone.Tammy你在这干什么呢Tammy,whatare
26、youdoinghere?哦我只是有点点东西需要被“钻”Oh,IjusthavealittlesomethingIneedtogetdrilled.我能跟你聊会儿吗CanIspeakwithyouforamoment?一切都好我们就是聊会儿天Everythingsfine,werejustgonnachat.你不是应该在图书馆强迫别人借书吗Shouldntyoubeatthelibrary,forcingpeopletoborrowbooks?1.eSIie你和我都知道图书馆卜-午3点就关门了1.eslie,youandIbothknowthatthelibraryclosesat3:00p.
27、m.当然是这样Ofcourseitdoes.此外我喜欢密切关注RonBesides,IliketokeeptabsonRon.所以你能毁了他的生活吗Soyoucanruinhislife?所以我可以和他玩耍SoIcanhavefunwithhim,而有时候毁了他的生活也是一部分的话当然andsometimesruininghislifecanbeapartofthat,sure.这可能是情感护卫LeslieKnope迄今为止最艰难的挑战了ThismaybethehardestchallengeyetforLeslieKnope,emotionalguardian.我需要保护一对甜蜜情侣不受一个
28、性♥爰♥狂魔图书馆员的侵害Ineedtoprotectasweetcouplefromasex-crazeddemonlibrarian而她让我质疑自己不用“姨”字的立场whomakesmequestionmystanceonusingtheBword.我不知道或许就这一次吧1dontknow,maybejustthisonce.不LeSIie忍♥住忍♥住No,Leslie,fightit.Fightit.里面看起来好暖和啊Itlookswarminthere!暖和又开心Warmandhappy.嗯看看那个姜饼人啊Mm,lookattha
29、tgingerbreadman.啥我没看到姜饼啊What?Idontseeanygingerbreadcookies.我说的是那个白皮健身哥们mtalkingaboutthatjacked-up,light-skinneddude.NBA底特律活塞队球员看起来像BlakeGriffin1.ooklikeBlakeGriffin.你们啊Youguys!居然有自助餐室内的Theresabuffet-inthehouse!我甚至不知道能那么做啊Ididntevenknowyoucoulddothat!我们需要闯进这个派对Weneedtocrashthisparty.Ann放我们进去Ann,letus
30、in.我们走1.etsgo.哎呀哎呀哎呀Well,well,well.你们想来Jerry的聚会是吧YouwanttocomeintoJerrysparty?为什么呢Andwhyisthat?我需要一个地方来生这个孩子AnnIneedaplacetodeliverthisbaby,Ann.它现在就出来了我怀孕了Itscomingoutofmerightnow.mpregnant.这是个有爱的男人和有爱的家庭举办的有爱聚会Thisisalovelypartythrownbyalovelymanandhislovelyfamily.没给刻薄鬼留位置Theresnoplaceformeanies.哦算
31、了我直接上Aw,forgetit,mcomingin.嗷0w!别碰我啊等等Getoffme.-Wait你也太弱了吧真的吗Youresoweak,really?我是说我几乎啥都还没做呢Imean,mbarelyevendoinganything.你缺铁吗我来看看你的手掌Areyouiron-deficient?Letmelookatyourpalm.嗷是因为你的男力量Ow.It,sbecauseofyourmanstrength,男PerkinsManPerkins.放我们进去吧Ann外面太冷1.etusin,Ann.Itscoldoutside,我又不能戴手套因为它们戴我手上没有吸引力了and
32、Ican,twearmittenscausethey,reunflatteringtomyhands.抱歉伙计们这是你们忏悔的时刻Sorry,guys.Thisisyourpenance.你们要是给Jerry做了好事才能进来YoucancomeinifyoudosomethingniceforJerry.嘿我已经对Jerry做了好事了Hey,IalreadydidsomethingniceforJerry.我开车来接他去Jerry晚餐的IdroveheretotakehimtoJerryDinner.哦Donna你能进来Oh,Donna.Youcancomein.好吧Okay.啥那我们呢Wha
33、t?Whataboutus?怎么Donna-圣诞姨♥子♥啦姨♥子♥们-Donna别丢下我们啊DonnaWhat?Donna!-Merrycritches,bitches!-Donna,dontleaveus!Donna?哦嗯无所谓啦Oh,well,whatever.是Jerry的聚会能有多酷呢ItsJerrysparty.Howcoolcoulditbe?圣诞老人Santa!他们有个圣诞老人TheyhaveaSanta!啥-嗷What?-Aw!欢迎来到印第安纳精致木工协会颁奖礼WelcometotheIndianaFineWoodwork
34、ingAssociationAwards.我是你们的主持人MartinHouselymyourhost,MartinHousely,而哇会是场精彩的节目呢andwow,itsgonnabeagreatshow-拭“木”以待knockonwood.“敲木头”哦我的天哪Oh,mygosh.真是巧了个合啊看我们坐在同一张桌子上哦Whatacoinky-dinky.Look,weresittingatthesametable!Tammy这张桌子是预留的Tammy,thistableisreserved.一个男的用一瞥和一捏跟我换了这个位置Aguytradedmehisseatforapeekandas
35、queeze.那分别是我的胸和我的屁Thatsmyboobandmybutt,respectively.记得吗RonRememberthat,Ron?绝了Subtle.嗯你们知道他们问我愿不愿意主持这个活动Well,youknow,theyaskedmeifIwouldhostthisevent,然后我说“木问题”and1said,WouldI?“木头的T,Ben来见见Jerry的老婆Ben,comemeetJerryswife.GayleGayle?节日快乐啊Chris-能见到你太好了Happyholidays,Chris.-Itssogoodtoseeyou.我有个人想带你见见Ihaves
36、omeonedlikeyoutomeet.我是GayleGergichmGayleGergich.演员是超级名模ChristieBrinkleyGayle-你是GayleGayleyoureGayle?Jerry美丽的老婆Jerrysbeautifulwife.哦-长这样的Oh.-Wholookslikethat.Gayle我希望我在这不会以任何方式让你尴尬Gayle,Ihopeyourenotinanywayuncomfortablethatmhere,因为我和你的女儿约会过哦完全没有sinceIdatedyourdaughter.-Oh,notatall.随时都欢迎你来Yourewelco
37、mehereanytime.哎呀你肩膀上有点点头发呢Oops,theresalittlehaironyourshoulder.啧啧看看谁是只魅力银狐啊Well,lookwho,sasilverfox.你看看Willyoulookatthat?不好意思你还好吗msorry,youreokay?你不觉得你的身体正在衰老或者死亡不可避免吗Youdontfeellikeyourbodyisindecayordeathisinevitable?天啊天啊有人有点消沉呢My,my.Somebodysbeingagloomygoose.是啊放松吧别那么消沉Yeah.Relax,gloomygoose.欢迎各位
38、来到另一个Gergich家的圣诞节Welcome,everybody,toanotherGergichChristmas.很可惜我们三位美丽天使中的一位Millicent今晚不能来了Sadly,oneofourthreebeautifulangels,Millicent,couldntbeheretonight,但我们另外两位美人-Miriam和Gladys-butourothertwobeautiesMiriamandGladys要帮助我和Gayle合奏一首小曲儿aregoingtohelpGayleandmeplayalittletune.*我们唱着那颂歌♥就在这绿叶间*He
39、rewegoa-caroling,amongtheleavessogreen*我们在此间漫步尽展欢喜笑颜*herewecomea-wandering,sofairtobeseen*爱和欢乐降临你*loveandjoycometoyou* 祝你圣诞也欢喜*andtoyougladChristmastoo* 而天祝你平安送你新年快乐*andGodblessyouandsendyouahappynewyear* 而天祝你新年快乐*andGodsendyouahappynewyear我要打个的士了mgoingtocallacab.为啥所有人表现得像Jerry是受害者呢Whydoeseveryoneac
40、tlikeJerry,sthevictimhere?他才是那个没邀请我们去他圣诞派对的人啊HestheonethatdidntinviteustohisChristmasparty.Jerry过滤器-Jerry过滤器)erryFilter!-JerryFilter!谁是Jerry过滤器啊Who,sJerryFilter?毫不意外Jeriy会发一大堆烦人的邮件Unsurprisingly,Jerrysendsalotofannoyingemails.所以-阵子之前我在我们的账户上都装了过滤器Soawhileago,1putafilteronallouraccounts.所有来自JeITy的都直接
41、进垃圾箱EverythingfromJerrygoesdirectlytospam.然后Annnnnnnnnd这是我们的请帖here,sourinvitation.这里有三年的友好消息啊Theresthreeyearsofnicemessagesonhere.恭喜你们结婚了Congratulationsonyourwedding.我全力支持你们的孩子Jerrymrootingforyoukids.Jerry.”希望你享受最棒的生口TomHopeyouhavethebestbirthday,Tom.我刚刚打平了我的贪吃蛇记录IjusttiedmyhighscoreinSnake.我们的下一个奖项
42、是“椅子成就奖”OurnextawardisforAchievementinChairs.*获得提名的有AsaChristiana的椅子Thenomineesare:AsaChristianaforchair,RonSwanson的椅子RonSwansonforchair,H.W.Davenport的椅子太激动了RonH.W.Davenportforchair.-Soexciting,Ron.好了Ron这是你的重要时刻Okay,Ron,thisisyourmoment.别理她她都不在这Tuneherout.Shesnotevenhere.获奖者是Andthewinneris.RonSwanso
43、n的椅子RonSwansonforchair.哦哇呜Oh,wow!Whoo!这个奖项是我唯一有点在乎的Thisawardistheonlyonedevergiveadamnabout.我五岁时做了第一把椅子ImademyfirstchairwhenIwasfive,但木材的质量有所欠缺butthequalityofthewoodwaswanting,所以我九岁时我用在工厂的工资sowhenIturnednine,Iusedmyfactorywages购买♥♥了一些出色的本地核桃木topurchasesomebeautifullocalwalnut.呃谢谢你给了这Uh
44、,thankyou.forthis.呃这好都一晚好上Uh,thisallgood-nightgood.呃Uh.亮出来了就这样了Thereitis.嘿你在看一张Millie的照片呢Hey,yourelookingatapictureofMillie.你想去那边来点素食薯条吗Youwanttotakeoff,grabsomeveganfries?她真的很可喜啊Shereallywasdelightful.我真心祝福她一切都好Itrulywishherallthebest.天啊或许一周去咨♥询♥一千次真的能帮忙Man,maybegoingtotherapy1,000tim
45、esaweekishelping.我是说如果你一个月前看到这张照片你会碎一地的Imean,ifyoudseenthatpictureamonthago,youwouldhavefallenapart.只是张照片而已Itsjustapicture.Millie-嗨妈Millie!-Hi,mom!我们想给你们一个惊喜就早点回来了Wewantedtosurpriseyouandcomehomeearly.哦嘿ChrisOh,hey,Chris.嗨Hi.我们花一点时间来纪念那些离开我们的木工艺师们1.etstakeamomentnowtorememberthosewoodworkerswhoarenolongerwithus,还有他们自己设计的美丽棺材andthebeautifulcoffinstheyalldesignedthemselves.嘿-嘿Hey.-Hey.你看到Ron了吗Haveyous
