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1、LeslieKnope小姐向您介绍HerbScaiferMissLeslieKnope,IpresenttoyouHerbScaifer.再说一次Andy你不用鞠躬Again,Andy,youdontneedtobow.如你所愿夫人Asyouwish,maam.好的Herb我能为你做什么Okay,Herb,whatcanIdoyoufor?嗯你自己准备好吧我有坏消息Well,pleaseprepareyourselfIhaveterriblenews.是吗Youdo?世界明天早上就要终结rTheworldisgoingtoendtomorrowatdawn.啊不是吧你确定是明天吗Awnuts.
2、Yousureit,stomorrow?恐怕是的就在日出之时Afraidso.Rightatdawn.整个地球Theentireplanet.消失我没收到提醒啊HerbGone.-Notgivingmemuchnotice,Herb.我来看看我能做什么吧-好的1.etmeseewhatIcando.-Okay.1970年代有一阵AForawhileinthe1970s,我们镇被一个古怪的邪教接管了ourtownwasrunbyafreakycult.每隔儿年残党们就会预测世界要终结Everyfewyears,theremainingmemberspredictedtheworldsgonnae
3、nd.他们会在公园里彻夜守夜Andtheyhaveanall-nightvigilinthepark.超级烦人Itssuperannoying.看来当你觉得世界要终结的时候Turnsoutwhenyouthinktheworld,sending,你就不会在移♥动♥厕所里小心瞄准了youdontaimsocarefullyintheport-a-potties.公园与游憩公园与游憩第4季第6集第4季第6集今晚“理性派”的追随者们Tonight,thefollowersofReasonableism要聚在一起等候Zorp的归来willbejoiningtogethert
4、oawaitthereturnofZorp.这个巨型蜥蜴神会用审判的清净之火消灭地球ThegiantlizardgodwhowilldestroytheEarthwithhiscleansingfireofjudgement.还要提供小食Alsolightrefreshmentswillbeserved.哦去年他们吃的是披萨他们又要吃披萨了吗Oh,lastyeartheyhadpizza.Aretheygonnahavepizzaagain?嗯上面说他们有火鸡三明治Uhm.saystheyvegotturkeysandwiches和千悲之醉andthenectarofathousandsorr
5、ows.哦那个很棒的其实是根汁汽水混红酒Oh,thatissogood!It,srootbeerandredwine.我去开过一次会Iwenttoonemeeting.等等Wait!我会想念你的巨型椅子Gonnamissyou,enormouschair.你真在上面坐过啊-是的我爱它Youreallysatonthisthing?-Yes!Ilovedit.感觉像是个小国王Feltlikeatinyking.T田我们做到了宝贝T-cups!Wedidit,baby.我们从头搭建了一家公♥司♥Webuiltacompanyfromthegroundup.然后我们又把头
6、埋回去了Andtheweranitbackintotheground.要记住的重要事情.就是这是一场巨大的成功Theimportantthingtoremember.isthatitwasamassivesuccess.来杯RemyMartinRemyMartin?嗯娱乐7二C）已经死掉了它去公♥司♥天堂了Well,Entertainment720isdead.Itsupincompanyheaven.三家公♥司♥均已倒闭和大♥片♥在线和Askjeeves一样A,BlockbusterandAskjeeves.
7、AskJeeves的形式是一个有问必答的管家形象我的公♥司♥没比请个假管家来帮你Google搜索的公♥司♥好多少MycompanyisnobetterthanacompanywhereyouaskafakebutlertoGooglethingsforyou.有人吗Hello!所以看起来我们一个人还剩下5000块到手Soitlookslikewelleachendupwithabout$5,000apiece.停下Stop.我们一个人有五K吗那太棒了Wegetfiveg,seach?That,samazing!你起步资金可是45万啊You
8、startedoutwith450,000.记得D）钝给我们定制入场节拍吗RememberwhenD）Bluntzmadeusourownpersonalentrancebeat?记得开业之夜聚会你和接待员Tess跳舞太用力RemembertheopeningnightpartywhenyoudancedsohardwithTessthereceptionist断了一根肋骨吗andyoubrokeoneofyourribs?它一直都没完全愈合Itneverhealedproperly.每一次呼吸都是挣扎,Everybreathisagony.停下Stop.所以下一步是什么TOmmyDavids
9、onSowhatsnext,TommyDavidson?我觉得我们把这一万拿去投资然后我“意外”被-辆公交车撞倒IsayWeinvestourtenlargeandthenIaccidentallygetrunoverbyacitybus.然后我们开始我们的嘻哈厂牌andwestartourownhip-hoplabel.听着我们可以打安全牌1.isten,wecouldplayitsafe.但e720不是这样的Butthatsnotwhate720isallabout.不不是No,itisnot.我们这个地儿还有一晚上对吧Wehavethisplaceforonemorenight,righ
10、t?我们明天中午就要走人了Wereouttietomorrowatnoon.不然我们用上剩下的每一分钱Whatifwetookeverydimewehadleft,办一个最后的大聚会threwonelastparty.让它包含我们想象中公♥司♥样子的精华Madeittheessenceofeverythingwewantedthecompanytobe.聚会主题Aparty.就是世界末日Fortheendoftheworld.嘘你在剩下的每一分钱”就让我入伙了Shh!Youhadmeateverydimewehaveleft.因为我就像律师本色里的LaraFlynn
11、Boyle一样BecauseminlikeLaraFlynnBoyle.fromThePractice.好好好好好好好型男Dillydillydillydillydillydillydillyswag!为什么这个邪教自称“理性派”WhydoesthecultcallthemselvesTheReasonableistsn?嗯他们觉得如果人们批评他们Well,theyfigureifpeoplecriticizethem看起来就像在攻击很理性的东西itllseemliketheyreattackingsomethingveryreasonable.奇怪的机智啊Thatsweirdlybrilli
12、ant.你看没有什么要担心的1.ook,theresnothingtoworryabout.他们预测世界末日已经15次了Theyvesaidthattheworldisgoingtoend15times.那些日期里发生的唯一一件坏事就是Andtheonlybadthingthat,severhappenedonanyofthosedatesis著名自行车运动员1.anceArmstrong里了歌♥手SherylCrow1.anceArmstrongdumpingSherylCrow.那是悲惨的一天-。恩Thatwasatragicday.-Hmm.1.ivestrong是Lanc
13、eArmstrong创办援助癌症患者的基金会活得坚强点1.ivestrong.不管怎样我觉得Ben和我今晚应该陪着你Inanyrate,IthinkBenandIshouldaccompanyyoutonight.哦我不觉得我们必须这么做Oh,Idontthinkwehavetodothat.不不不我坚持这公做No,no,no,1insist.这些人活在榆木脑星球Thesepeopleliveonplanetnutbrain.我住在巴旦木脑星球Iliveonplanetnutbran.巴旦木对你的结肠很有帮助呢Branandnutsareveryhelpfulforyourcolon!啊看起来
14、我们要被强迫相处了Well,itlookslikewerekindofforcedtohangoutwitheachother.是啊听着我-我会来转一会儿Yeah,listen,ll-11comeforabit,但如果你可以的话我不会一直呆着的butifit,sokaywithyou,Imnotgoingtostay.就是你知道有点奇怪对吧It,sjust,youknow,stillkindofweird,right?是是对对对对Yeah,yeah.Yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah.对对对嗯哼完全理解Yeah,yeah,yeah,mm-hmm,totallygetit.绝对理解Defin
15、itelygetit.Ben和我最近没怎么相处了BenandIdonthangoutmuchthesedays.多大事一大堆人不相处啊Bigdeal,lotsofpeopledonthangout.Jerry和April奥巴马和麦当娜可能吧JerryandApril.ObamaandMadonna,probably.我们已经有陪伴了Wereingoodcompany.我们今晚要做啥啊Whatshouldwedotonight?我不知道我觉得我们就点披萨吧Idontknow,Ijustfigurewe,lljustordersomepizza.你看我玩XBoxYouwatchmeplayXBox
16、,然后我看你打恶作剧骚扰电♥话♥andthenIcouldwatchyoumakesomeprankphonecalls?我们喝醉亲热Wegethammered?Makeout?我们每晚都这么做啊Wedothateverynight.那是因为重复是良好婚姻的关键Thatsbecauserepetitionisthekeytoagoodmarriage.我们做点怪事吧1.etsdosomethingweird.来嘛可能是世界最后一晚呢Comeon,itcouldbethelastnightonearth.我们可以做我遗愿清单上的是Wecoulddosomethingo
17、ffmybucketlist.你还有遗愿清单呢Youhaveabucketlist?在超级碗赛点触底得分Catchthewinningtouchdownatthesuperbowl.做世上最好吃的烤芝士三明治Makethemostamazinggrilled-cheesesandwichever.中彩票骑独轮车Winthelottery.Rideaunicycle.发明个啥Inventsomething.在飞机上坐头等舱Flyfirstclassonaplane.还有人们走过的时候Andwhenpeoplearewalkingby,摆出这样的表情belikethis:跳伞跑得比河马快Gosky
18、diving.Outrunahippo.我想和奥尼尔翻拍精灵也疯狂dliketoremakethemovieKazaamwithShaquilleONeal然后他演精灵我想把它拍对了whereheplaysagenieanddliketogetitright.教我的儿子Teachmyson扔出一个完美旋球tothrowtheperfectspiral.生个儿子Haveason.好吧嗯这是我们今晚要做的Allright,well,thisiswhatweredoingtonight.等等哪一条Wait,whichone?我们改掉我的手♥机♥套餐Wecanchangem
19、ycellphoneplan.那会很好玩-不Thatwouldbefun.-No.这一条Thisone.8009001000800,900,1,000.账户余额里还剩多少Andhowmuchisleftinthebankaccount?18块0418dollarsandfourcents.哇还有好多剩下的呢Whoa!Stillalotleftover.好的你想手里拿着一千现金吗Okay,youwantedtohold$1,000cashinyourhands?这超级让人失望啊Thatssuperdisappointing.9989991000998,999,1000.耶Yes!这才是我想象中的
20、感觉啊NowthisiswhatIimagined!你这辈子见过这么多现金吗Haveyoueverseenthismuchcashinyourentirelife?我刚刚给你啊Ijusthandedittoyou.硬币Nickels!我想换成硬币Iwantnickels.一亿个硬币-别AndyAbillionnickels!-No,Andy.嘿HerbHey,Herb?怎么-抱歉打扰你-嗯没事Yeah?-Sorrytobotheryou.-Yeah,sure.1.eslie说你还需要付许可费是$281.esliesaysyoustillneedtopayforthepermit,it,s$28
21、.哦抱歉Oh,msorry.这是支票Here,sthecheck.你可以明天兑现Youcancashthattomorrow.晚上好先生们女士们Evening,gentlemen,ladies.嘿Ron-Zorp万岁Hey,Ron!-HailZorp.你好吗Howareyou?我很棒.mgreat.这是个美丽的世界末日前夜Itisabeautifulnightfortheendoftheworld.祝贺你们所有人都到达了终点线Congratulationstoallofyouforreachingthefinishline.Zorp人们很可笑TheZorpiesareridiculous.但就
22、像开国元勋们一样But,likethefoundingfathers,我相信完全自&hearts油♥的宗教信仰Ibelieveinabsolutefreedomofreligion.而且他们的仪式需要演奏长笛Alsotheirceremoniesrequiretheplayingofflutes.我正好在木工车间里做长笛Ihappentomakeflutesinmywoodshop.长笛80块一根Flutesare$80apiece.录音机是150Andrecordersare150.嘿它们太美了Hey,theyrebeautiful.你接受支票吧Wouldyoutakeache
23、ck?当然Sure.欢迎来到E720的WelcometoE720,s世界末日庆典endoftheworldcelebration.整个聚会都是VIP区域TheentirepartysaVIParea.还有个双重VIP区域TheresalsoadoubleVIParea.三重VlP区域AtripleVIParea.还有百夫长精英VIP区域AndtheCenturionClubeliteVIParea.由SobeLifewater赞助SponsoredbySobeLifewater.没人能进那里连我们都不行-嗯呢Noonesallowedinthere,notevenus.-Uh-uh.我们有不是
24、一个而是六个开放式酒吧Wehavenotone,butsixopenbars.最好的是蛇汁冰喷泉Andbestofall,SnakeJuiceicefountain.凉一个TChillit,T!汁好凉爽Juiceissochilled!骰子Craps!转盘Roulette!嗷海盗Ahrrrmatey!海盗船充气城♥堡♥带泡泡Pirateshipbouncycastlewithbubbles.虾墙Shrimpwall.特别贵宾分虾人印第安纳步行者队中锋RoyHibbertAndspecialVIPshrimpdistributorIndianaPacersCenter
25、RoyHibbert.这就是你想让我做的吗Isallyouwantmetodo?给聚会上的人分虾Passoutshrimptopeopleattheparty?是的别再问问题了Yes,andstopaskingquestions!有个头吗可能你想要来个免费软呢帽Gotahead?MaybeyouwantafreeFedora.想亲热吗去我们的亲热房♥间Wannamakeout?Gotooutmakeoutroom.临走之前别忘了拿个礼物袋Andbeforeyouleave,dontforgetthegiftbag.Jean-Ralphio宾客名单上有动物吗Jean-RaIphio
26、,thereareanimalsontheguestlisttonight?让我看看TT哦只有一个1.etmecheck,T.T.Oh,justone.是孟加拉虎BengalTiger!我们还雇了十个吓人的彪形大汉当保镖戴着耳机Wealsohiredtenhuge,scarybouncerswithearpieces.Keith怎么啦-嗯Whatup,Keith?-Mmm.三年前他其实把我从一家俱乐部里扔出去过Heactuallyoncetossedmeoutofaclubthreeyearsago.三十年河西Waterunderthebridge.DJ钝混出了些新节奏DJBluntzismi
27、xingupsomenewbeats.只有200人允许进入保证排外性Only200peoplewillbeadmittedtoretainexclusivity.浪子们浪♥女&hearts们安全带系好了Ballersandballerettes,fastenyourseatbelts.完美的聚会现在Theperfectpartybegins.干杯开始Clink!Now.感谢上帝ThankGod.没人会准时参加一场好聚会Nooneshowsuptoagoodpartyontime.如果现在真的有人出现的话Ifanybodyactuallyshoweduprightnow,整个聚会都
28、会被毁掉的thewholepartywouldhavebeenruined.会是一场灾难的Itwouldhavebeenadisaster.我才不想去那场聚会1dontwanttogotothatparty.市政♥府♥把他们看待为安全威胁吗Doesthecityconsiderthemathreattopublicsafety?哦完全不是ShaunaMalwae-TweepOh,notatall,ShaunaMalwae-Tweep.上一次“理性派”发生的意外事件已经超过30年了Itsbeenover30years,sincetheresanyincidentinv
29、olvingtheReasonableists.所以我不该过度分♥析♥SoIshouldntinterpretanythingfromthefact市政经理办公室的两个人现在都在场吗thattherearetwopeoplefromthecitymanagersofficehere?嗯除了我没有其他事情做之外Well,nothingexceptthatIhadnothingbettertodo.实际上更说明我的而不是他们的问题Whichprobablysaysmoreaboutmethanthem.谢谢-头条建议Thanks.-Headlineidea.”是他们认知
30、中的世界末日Itstheendoftheworldastheyknowit,但Pawnee感觉没事butPawneefeelsfine.有点长了-好吧”什么ZOrPItsalittlelong.-Okay,ZorpShmorp!”末Fl预测未达预期Doomsdaypredictionfallsflat而市,民们在Pawnee最好公园之一度过愉快夜晚ascitizensspendpleasanteveningenjoyingoneofPawneesfinestparks.居然更长了Somehowlonger.好吧那我们就还是用前一个Right,okayletsgowiththefirstone.
31、好的嗯嘿还有.Great,um,hey,also.他挺帅的啊他单身吗你知道吗He,scute.Ishesingle,doyouknow?Chris吗不Chris?No.他在和Jerry的女儿约会HesactuallydatingJerrysdaughter.哦不抱歉我说的是Ben他有啥故事啊Oh,nosorry,ImeantBen.Whatshisstory?谁-BenWho?-Ben?我-我不知道I-Idontknow.我-我不确-我不确定I-mnots-mnotsure.他嗯是个男的是个职员Hes,um,amanandhesaworker.而且他-呃我们没讨论过性所以Andheis-uh,
32、we,veneverdiscussedsex,so.是-我们总是很专业样子所以.Itswevealwaysjustbeenverybusinesslike,so.你猜得很对-非也比我的更好Yourguessisasgood-nay,betterthanmine.剧终作者LeslieKnopeTheend.ByLeslieKnope.好吧行谢谢Okay.Cool,thanks.很-很开心能帮忙H-happytohelp.发生什么了Whatshappening?世界末日来了Theworldisending.哦天我知道这会怎么样Ohboy,Iknowhowthisgoes.我知道Shauna的方式I
33、knowhowShaunaoperates.她笑了然后他俩相爱Shesmiles,andthentheyfallinlove,然后他们结婚andthentheygetmarried,然后她把名字改成ShaunaMalwae-WyattandthenshechangeshernametoShaunaMalwae-Wyatt.或者他真的很开明Orhesgoingtobereallyprogressive把自己的名字改成BenWyatt-Malwae-TweepandchangehisnametoBenWyatt-MaIwae-Tweep.天他假设里能这么做我真的很生气GOd,Iamsoannoye
34、dthathewouldhypotheticallydothat.好吧.Leslie他们只是在聊天Okay.Leslie,theyrejusttalking.你说什么只是聊天“他在笑啊Whatdoyoumeanjusttalking?He,ssmiling.而且她看起来很迷人的Andsheseemsverycharming.她比我更迷人吗Isshemorecharmingthanme?Ann如果你回答“是“我会踢你的我对天发誓Ann,ifyousayyes,Iwillkickyou.IsweartoGod.你当然更迷人Youredefinitelymorecharming.但我在这里要提醒你B
35、utmheretoremindyou你不能和他约会thatthereasonyourenotdatinghim是因为你决定竞选市议会isbecauseyoudecidedtorunforcitycouncil.哦所以就因为我不能和他约会Oh,sojustbecauseIcan,tgooutwithhim,其他人就可以吗someoneelsecan?哦唉Oh,boy.哇好嘛Wow.-Okay.我很确定这不算事msurethisisnothing.好吧嗯那肯定是有事了Okay,well,thatwasdefinitelysomething.我的天我知道这一招Oh.MyGod.-1knowthatm
36、ove.他们五分钟之后就要做♥爱♥了Theyregonnahavesexinfiveminutes.我得阻止他们vegottastopthis.我得让他们彼此余生都保持距离Ivegottakeepthemawayfromeachotherfortherestoftheirlives.你要怎么做到-我不清楚Howareyougonnadothat?-Unclear!哦棒十块钱Oh,yeah,tenbucks!这算上中彩票了Thatcountsaswinningthelottery.好现在这是世上最好吃的烤芝士三明治吗Okay,nowisthisthemostamazi
37、nggrilled-cheesesandwichevermade?嗯挺棒的Mmm,itsprettyawesome.亲爰的我的遗愿清单上没说Honey,mybucketlistdoesntsay“做一个挺棒的烤芝士三明治”makeaprettyawesomegrilled-cheesesandwich.1得回商店去Gottagobacktothestore.我们要试另一种芝士Weregonnagetadifferentkindofcheese.不不不伙计认真的No,no,no,dude,seriously.这就是世上最好吃的烤芝士三明治好吧Thisisthemostamazinggrilled
38、-cheesesandwichevermade,okay?好下一条是啥Okay.Whatsnext?嘿你在这呢哇你俩还在聊呢Hey,thereyouare.Wow,youtwoarestilltalking?Ben还没让你无聊到死啊Benhasntboredyoutodeathbynow.怎久说话呢-太无聊了Hey.-Soboring.实际h我们聊得挺开心的Actually,wewerehavingareallygreattalk.把你裤子穿好-啥Keepyourpantson.-What?我是说你裤子穿得真好啊妹子Imean,keepyourpantson,girl!我是说这些裤子可真是好啊
39、Imean,thosearereallynicepants.我真的喜欢你的裤子你在哪买♥♥的啊Ireallylikeyourpants.Where,dyougetthem?你想再去买♥♥裤子吗Doyouwanttogobuysomemorepants?或者嗯从这走开Or,Um,walkawayfromhere?实际上我觉得我的素材已经积累够rActually.IthinkIhaveeverythingIneededhere,但我可能会去那个世界末日聚会butImightheadovertothatendoftheworldparty.哦那
40、是所有废物们会去的地方呢Oh,thatswhereallthelosersaregoing.是啊那是什么啊Tom给我发邮件了Yeah,whatisthat?Tomemailedme.我可以去看看-呃Icouldcheckthatout-Hurrrrr.嗯那你应该呆在这里Well,thenyoushouldstayherethen.因为你不能走Becauseyoucantgo.我说如果Zorp出现的时候你不在这里呢Imean,whatifyourenotherewhenZorpshowsup?哎呀你的脸肯定会红的Boy,wouldyourfacebered.ZorP出现的时候WhenZorpsh
41、owsup,你的脸会融化被当作燃料yourfaceswillbemeltedoffandusedasfuel.你想为r这个呆在这啊Youwanttobehereforthat.我觉得我还是赌一把吧Ithinklltakemychances.1.eslie和往常一样多谢1.eslie,thanksasalways.哇真是让人难以置信地不舒服的人啊Wow.Whatanunbelievablyunpleasantperson.Melissa进去享受一下吧-好的Melissa,getintherewithyourbadself.-Allright.准备好了吗-准备好了Youready?-mready.
42、能抓到的都能留下Anythingyougrabisyourstokeep.来吧Hitit!是的Yes!完美的聚会这是个难以捉摸的点子Theperfectparty.Itsanelusiveidea.人们需要从进来那一刻到出门那一刻之间完全参与娱乐Peoplehavetobecompletelyentertainedfromthemomenttheywalkin,tothemomenttheyleave.这是个伟大的实验Itsagrandexperiment.而我是个聚会科学家AndI.amapartyscientist.欢迎来到我的实验室Welcometomylaboratory.所以“理性派
43、”最初占领镇了的时候你就住在这了吗SoyouwerelivingherewhenReasoneableismfirstsweptin?是的LouProzotovich他们的创办人Iwas.LouProzotovich,theirfounder,是一个办公器材销♥竹♥wasanofficesuppliessalesman.有一天他有了个有趣的点子Oneday,hehadaninterestingidea.可能他可以写一本书帮助人们整理办公室Maybehecanwriteabooktohelppeopleorganizetheiroffices.“整理吧”Organiz
44、eit!这本书获得了巨大的成功Thebookwasabigsuccess.然后Lou有了另一个有趣的点子ThenLouhadanotherinterestingthought.可能有个长着火山嘴巴的八米半的大蜥蜴Maybethereisa28-foottalllizardwithavolcanoforamouth在控制着宇宙-那挺有意思whocontrolstheuniverse.-Thatisinteresting.所以他写了第二本书Sohewroteasecondbook.”整理吧2:与Zorp连接”Organizeit2:EngagewithZorp你知道我能看看吗Youknow.couldIhavealookatthat?当然可以ChrisWellsureyoucan,Chris.留着都行Youcankeepit.我要是你就跳过前几章了dskipthefirstcoupleOfchaptersifIwereyou,私下讲直到Zorp出现才.真正开始精彩betweenyouandme,itdoesn,treallygetgoodtillZorpshowsup.Zorp就是那个蜥蜴Zorpisthelizard.我信什么教WhatreligionamI?嗯我信的是不关你该死的事Well,mapracticingnoneofyourgoddamnbusiness.好
