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1、2017年我是说有谣言称他们要下个月才宣布的Imean,therewererumorsthattheyweregonnaannounceitnextmonth,但他们肯定是等不及了好吧buttheymusthavegottenimpatient.Okay.不管他们怎么说Whatevertheysay,我们需要针对一万种可能的剧本想出一万种可能的回应Weneedtocomeupwith10,000possibleresponsesto10,000possiblescenarios.好吧只是提醒你Okay,justtoremindyou,我不是为国家公园部工作的IdontworkfortheNat
2、ionalParkService.是是是那些剧本想得怎么样了Yeah,yeah,yeah.Howarethosescenarioscoming?好吧你看我们进去之前你需要知道一些事情Okay,look.Beforewegointhere,youneedtoknowsomething.他来了-谁来了He,shere.-Whoshere?那个你禁止我说出口的名字Theguywhosenameyouforbidmefromsayingoutloud因为它让你充满愤怒becauseitllsyouwithrage.你看我不知道他是为谁工作的1.ook,Idontknowwhohesworkingfor
3、,但我猜他是某个竞标团体的一部分butIguesshespartofoneofthebiddinggroups.你在那边能保持文明吗Areyougonnabeabletobecivilinthere?我是完全文明的mperfectlycivil.他才是那个愚蠢垃圾头狗屎脸He,sthestupidgarbage-headdoo-dooface.兀夷Perfect.感谢各位的光临Thankyouallforcoming.我是TrevorNelsonNewport家族的法律顾问IamTrevorNelson,legalcounciltotheNewportfamily.Newport家族信托计划打
4、包销♥售♥TheNewportfamilytrustintendstosell一块面&hearts积♥6♥4♥平方公里的原始未开♥发♥的土地a25-squaremileparcelofpristine,undevelopedland包含Eagleton湖和南印第安纳山麓containingLakeEagletonandtheSouthernIndianafoothills.为什么是现在Newport家族掌握这块地已经一百年了Whynow?TheNewportshaveownedthislandfo
5、r100years.多亏了近年Pawnee的经济繁荣ThankstotherecenteconomicboominPawnee,房&hearts他&hearts产♥价格升到了历史新高realestatepricesareatanalltimehigh.而据JessicaWicks-NewportAndinthewordsofJessicaWicks-Newport,全部Newport财富的继承人称heirtotheentireNewportfortune,quote,是时候把那些愚蠢的老树换成一屁♥股♥的钱了Itstimetotradethosedum
6、b,oldtreesforabuttloadofcash.”是的确实是Itis.Ittrulyis.这块地正乞求这成为座新的国家公园呢Thislandisbeggingtobeanewnationalpark.而且还在我自己的后院Anditsinmyownbackyard.这可能会成为我的最高成就Thiscouldbemycrowningachievement.我可以退休了Icouldretire.我是说我不会退Imean,Iwouldnt.我要工作到100岁然后削减到一周四天mgonnaworkuntilm100andthencutbacktofourdaysaweek.哦天想到那一天休息我
7、已经觉得好无聊了Oh,God,malreadysoboredthinkingaboutthatonedayoff.或许我去上个法学院之类的MaybeIllgotolawschoolorsomething.我们会在明天下午5点前从初始的密封竞价中选择人围团体Wewillselectthefinalistsfromasetofinitialsealedbidsdueat5:00P.M.tomorrow.祝各位好运Goodluck.好吧酷Okay.Cool.他来了什么Thereheis.-What?好吧-他在这了Okay.-Heshere?他过来了-我不想和他说话Heiscomingover.-1d
8、ontwanttotalktohim.我应该躲起来不他才该躲起来Ishouldhide.No,heshouldhide.他该跑他该跑掉Heshouldrun.Heshouldrunaway.他该藏起他的那张蠢脸他不应该一Heshouldhidehisstupidface.Heshouldntbe-你好啊Knope女士Hello,Ms.Knope.你好曾经是我朋友的前陌生人Hello,formerstrangepersonIusedtofriend.你看起来很Yourelookingvery.Ron的样子Ron-like.你还有一样的头发-不我没有我现在有刘海了Youhaveyoursameha
9、ir.-NO,Idont.Ihavebangsnow.我从不知道刘海是什么我也不打算了解veneverknownwhatbangsare,andIdontintendtolearn.嗯或许你该了解呢Well,maybeyoushould!我两年前离开了公园部门1lefttheparksdepartmenttwoyearsago.现在我在私营成分工作NowIworkintheprivatesector,管理我自己的建筑和开♥发♥公♥司♥runningmyownbuildinganddevelopmentcompany.它叫做非常好建筑和开&
10、hearts;发♥公♥司♥ItscalledVeryGoodBuilding&DevelopmentCompany.我想在不炫耀的状态下表达我们工作的质量Iwantedtoconveythequalityofourworkwithoutseemingflashy.所以你的公♥司♥与其中一位投标人有关吗Soyourcompanyisinvolvedwithoneofthebidders?当然啦皮条客Hellyeah,pimp!他现在是Gryzzl队的了He,sonteamGryzzlnow.我们呃雇了他们公♥司&
11、hearts;帮忙规划和建造我们新的Gryzzl园区We,uh,hiredhiscompanytohelpplanandbuildournewGryzzlcampus.就在这个镇上哦然后那块地吗Righthereintown.Oh,andthatland?哦天啊简直完美Oh,mygosh.Itsperfect那树啊石头啊天空啊是的那片土地有很好的天空Thetreesandrocksandsky.-Yes,thelandhasgoodsky.这家伙啊他真是太棒了Thisguy!Hessofarout.太极简了Sonorm-core.你知道国家公园系统值得拥有这片土地YouknowthattheN
12、ationalParkSystemdeservesthisland.你为什么要试着搞我呢Whyareyoutryingtoscrewme?这又是晨星事件重演了ThisislikeMorningStaralloveragain.这可一点也不像晨星ThisisnothinglikeMorningStar.而且那都是两年前了Andthatwastwoyearsago.嗯你不知道你面对的是谁我直接监管1200人Well,youdontknowwhoyou,redealingwith.Idirectlyoversee1,200people.我的员工都是有创意的天才Ihaveastaffofcreativ
13、egeniuses在赢得竞标之前不会停止工作的thatwillnotstopworkinguntilwewinthisbid.1.eslie1.eslie?我我找不到你想要的文件了I-Icouldntfindthatfileyouwanted,但我确实找到了一份文件叫做“鸟类普查1980butIdidfindafilecalledbirdcensus,1980.然后是空的-滚出去吧EdAnd.itsempty.-Getoutofhere,Ed!我开除你了啊-对Ifiredyou.-Right如果任何人想出来玩我就在赛百味Ifanyonewantstohang,IwillbeatSubway.他
14、很蠢He,sverystupid.公园与游憩公园与游憩第7季第1集第7季第1集宝刚刚把Leslie的三胞胎送到她妈妈那里了.Babe?JustdroppedoffLesliestripletswithhermom.全部三个搞定了Allthreeof,em.Nailedit.看看她给了我们什么慢炖煲1.ookwhatshegaveus.Slowcooker.很棒-是啊Great-Yeah.呃所以赶紧准备好吧庆典一小时之后就开始了Um,sohurryupandgetready.Thegalastartsinanhour.而且别忘了明天我们得去那家伙的办公室Anddontforget,tomorro
15、wwehavetogotothatguysoffice给租户保险单签字tosigntherentersinsuranceforms.准备好出发Getready.Go.一切进展都很好Everythingisgoinggreat.April在她的国家公园部工作上属♥爆了AprilskickingassatherNationalParksjob.呃我兼♥职♥在那里工作而且我有自己的电视节目了Uh,Iworkthereparttime.AndIhavemyownTVshow.欢迎回到JohnnyKarate超赞音乐爆♥炸♥秀Welc
16、omebacktotheJohnnyKarateSuperAwesomeMusicalExplosionShow.早啊Johnny我有东西给你Morning,Johnny.Ihavesomethingforya.是邮差Barry早啊BarryItsMailmanBarry.Morning,Barry.我有东西给你-AneIy别Ihavesomethingforyou.-Andy,no.忍♥者们攻击-不哦天AndyNinjasattack!-No.OhGod.Andy!哦那是我裤裆啊Oh!That,smycrotch.好了伙计们每人再踢三下Okay,guys.Threemoreki
17、cksapiece.呃Jessica嗨Uh,Jessica?Hi.很高兴你走之前找到你了mgladIcaughtyoubeforeyouleft.私下说你觉得你的那块地,Justbetweenyouandme,whatdoyouthinkyourland明天大概卖♥♥多少钱呢mightsellfortomorrow?Trevor说可能会在9000万美元左右Trevorsaysitllprobablybearound$90million.啊哈呜Ahha!Woo!哦-哦一哦哇Oh.-Oh-oh,wow.我知道啊我就是我太为自己开心了Iknow.Iamjust-Iamso
18、happyforme.你考虑过给联邦政♥府♥打个折吗Wouldyoueverconsidergivingthefederalgovernmentadiscount?为了一个很好的理由呢一座国家公园Foraverygoodcause?Anationalpark.哦LeSIie我一直很喜欢你的Oh,Leslie.Ihavealwayslikedyou.是啊不虽然你没有Yeah,no,youhavent,though.但我也喜欢钱而钱为我的生活方式买♥♥单ButIalsolikemoney.Andmoneypaysformylifestyle.
19、1.eslie不为我的生活方式买♥♥单而钱可以1.esliedoesntpayformylifestyle,moneydoes.所以在钱和Leslie之间SobetweenmoneyandLeslie.你看到我陷入的困境了吧-是啊真是个难题Youseethebindthatmin?-Yeah,it,satoughone.嗯谢谢你JessicaWell,thankyou,Jessica.你做的说的正是我想象中你做和说的方式YoudidandsaidexactlywhatIthoughtyouweregonnadoandsay.很奇妙地令人欣慰呢谢谢你小甜心Andtha
20、tsoddlycomforting.-Thankyou,sweetie.TomHaverford是谁呢WhoisTomHaverford?他是一个导师一个爱人一个英雄Hesamentor,alover,ahero.但谁又是我的英雄呢很简单Butwhoismyhero?Simple.就是我五年之后的我Itsme.Fiveyearsfromnow.好吧我真的只是需要一个你姓的正确拼写方式Okay,Ireallyonlyneedacorrectspellingofyourlastname.你面前的是印第安纳企业月刊35岁以下35位人士之一YouarelookingatoneOfIndianaBusi
21、nessmonthlys35under35.我拥有Pawnee最热门的餐厅IownPawneeshottestrestaurant,两家快餐小馆还有Tommy飞切twofast-casualeateries,andtheTommyChopper.我们使用一架退役军用直升机提供切碎的沙拉Weservechoppedsaladsoutofadecommissionedmilitaryhelicopter.我现在是大亨了mamogulnow.嘿TomHey,Tom?BenWyattPawnee的市.政经理BenWyatt,citymanagerofPawnee.商会邀请我今晚在一场非常高档的正装庆典
22、介绍他ChamberofCommerceaskedmetointroducehimataveryfancyblacktiegalatonight.找我咨♥询♥生活建议时尚提醒的领域大佬之一Oneofthemanyareabigwigswhocomestomeforlifeadvice,fashiontips.呃你懂的把这些都记F来Uh,yougetit.Writethisalldown.所以作为介绍我希望你可以就保持简洁Sofortheintroduction,dloveitifyoucouldjustkeepitbrief.就仅限于我的财政成就1.ike,stic
23、ktomyfiscalaccomplishments.哦等把我们无聊到死了想叫醒我吗Oh,wannawakemeupwhenyouredoneboringustodeath?说得没错吧JanetAmIright,Janet?记下来我很幽默Writedownthatmfunny.Benji放轻松啊来嘛Tommy何时让你失望过呢Benji?Relax,comeon.WhensTommyeverletyoudown?经常啊Constantly.我今晚在庆典上要接受荣誉mbeinghonoredatagalatonight因为我负责Pawnee的200年庆典becauseminchargeoftheP
24、awneebicentennialcelebration.这是我在“冰城”之后规模最大的项目了Itsmybiggestprojectsinceicetown.所以真的对我意义重大我被认为是城市领导者Soitreallymeansalotthatmbeingrecognizedasacityleader,而不是被大喊大叫和扔东西insteadofbeingyelledatandpeltedwiththings.等等你们不觉得这全是精心设计Wait,youdontthinkthisisallanelaboratesetup来朝我扔东西的对吧topeltmewiththings,doyou?这玩意儿
25、做熟个东西需要八个小时Ittakeslikeeighthourstocooksomethinginthisthing.我想我可以明天搞点鸡胸肉IguessIcouldpickupabriskettomorrow然后开始准备做周四的正餐andstartitfordinnerThursday.哦周四不行我整天有制♥作♥会议Oh,Thursdaysnogood.Ihaveproductionmeetingsallday.然后我们周五要跟Joe和Donna吃晚饭Thenwevegotdinnerwith)oeandDonnaonFriday.嘿你知道周日行Hey,youkn
26、ow,Sunday.我们可以去农民市场把鸡胸肉放到慢炖机里Wecangotothefarmersmarket,putthebrisketintheslowcooker,在付费影院点个电影getamovieonpayperview.杰森伯恩的新片应该还挺好笑的ThenewJasonBournemoviessupposedtobeprettyfunny.JasonBourne谍影重重系列小说主角AndyAndy?我们在计划整个星期了Wereplanningourwholeweek.像老人一样我们曾经是无意识自发的奇怪的人1.ikeoldpeople.Weusedtobespontaneousand
27、weird.我们曾经用飞盘吃麦片因为我们没有碗Weusedtoeatcerealoutoffrisbeesbecausewedidnthaveanybowls.你曾经在车店和一个那种气球人摔跤弄断了肋骨我赢了Youoncebrokearibtryingtowrestleoneofthoseinflatablefloppyguysatacardealership.-1won.现在的你打扫那个蠢死的排水沟把肩膝扭伤了Nowyousprainedyourshouldertryingtocleanoutthestupidgutter.你甚至有工作了我们有银行账户了Youevenhaveajob.Weh
28、aveabankaccount!就这样了Thatsit.我们已经尽全力坚持够久了但还是发生了Weveheldoutaslongaswecould,butitfinallyhappened.我们变无聊了我们是无聊的人因为无聊而让对方无聊Wereboring.We,reboringpeoplewhowillboreeachotherbybeingboring.不我们还是很有趣的我会证明给你看No!Wearestillfun.mgonnaproveittoyou.今晚的庆典上我们要做点自发和奇怪的事情Tonightatthegala,wearegonnadosomethingspontaneousa
29、ndweird.好吧Okay.别嘲笑我了Stoptauntingme.电♥话♥联♥系♥华盛顿GetonthephonetoWashington.把能帮忙的人都找来CallineveryfavorthatWehave.Dave把密苏里暂时放一放Dave,putMissourionthebackburner.这件事是最高优先权Thisistoppriority.你们所有人有36个小时给我找到九千万美元Youallhave36hourstofindme$90million.出发Go!哇九千万吗Whoa,$90million?嗯我的自&heart
30、s;由♥决定基金里只有两百万Well,Ionlyhave$2millioninthediscretionaryfund而且我已经川了一些在总统山推广里把杰斐逊弄得更性感一点andIvealreadyusedsomeofittomakeThomasJeffersonsexierinthoseMountRushmorepromotions.顺便说游客数目增长了Which,bytheway,attendancehasbeenup.那可不是巧合Thatsnotacoincidence.Pawnee的名流们今晚都会光临Pawneesrichandfamouswillallbehereton
31、ight.或者你从他们开始呢那是个很机智的主意Maybeyoustartthere.-Thatisaverysmartidea.而且这套燕尾服让你看起来像个性感的管弦乐指挥Andthattuxedomakesyoulooklikeasexyorchestraconductor.来挥一下这支笔-集中精力Here,wavethispenaround.-Focus.好吧我们去搞定那个公园Fine.Letsgogetthatpark.那个公园是我的梦想我不会让它溜走了Thatparkismydream.mnotgonnaletitslipaway.谁在乎Gryzzl和Ron是不是钱更多啊Whocare
32、sifGryzzlandRonhavemoremoney?我手上有美国最重要的货币IhavethemostvaluablecurrencyinAmerica.一种盲目顽固的信念坚持我做的是100%IE确的Ablind,stubbornbeliefthatwhatIamdoingis100%right.Pawnee两百年庆典1817-2017KenHotate蝴蝶结领带很棒是新的吗KenHotate.Greatbowtie,isthatnew?怎么是的呢我儿子在Etsy上卖♥♥的Why,yesitis.MysonsellsthemonEtsy.他非常令人失望Heisa
33、hugedisappointment.哦嗯现在我们聊起来了Oh,well.Nowthatwe,rechatting,国家公园部正准备买♥♥下NeWPC)rt的土地theNationalParkServiceislookingtobuytheNewportland.但我们缺少一点点资金Butwerealittleshortonfunds.多少-8800万Howshort?-$88million.你觉得把一部分赌场钱用在好事上如何呢Whatdoyousayyouputsomeofthatcasinomoneytogooduse?你知道我们确实在考虑开第二家度假村Youk
34、now,wehavebeenconsideringopeningasecondresort.不那将会是捐赠No,itwouldbeadonation.政♥府♥会留着那块地Thegovernmentwouldkeeptheland.所以你想让Wamapoke人♥民♥给联邦政♥府♥付数百万美元SoyouwouldliketheWamapokepeopletopaythefederalgovernmentmillionsofdollars来买♥♥下联邦政♥府♥从
35、我们手中偷走的土地吗tobuylandthatwasstolenfromusbythefederalgovernment?而且我们还不能留下那块地Andwedontevengettokeeptheland?嗯你这么描述的话我就听出讽刺了Well,whenyouputitlikethat,Iseetheirony.所以你愿意吗不吗Soareyouin?No?如果我买♥♥你失望儿子的领带呢该死WhatifIbuysomeofyourdisappointingsonsboloties?Damnit.嘿来看看我又疯又自发Hey,checkitout.msocrazyands
36、pontaneous,我甚至不需要这个悬带了Idontevenneedthisslinganymore.好-啪当Yes.-Pa-dow.哦哦你听到那个响声了吗Oh!Oh,didyouhearthatpop?你能听到吗Couldyouhearthat?你想来喝小杯酒吗-行啊我可想喝小杯酒了Youwannadoshots?-Yeah,dlovetodoashot.因为红酒现在让我好困Causewinemakesmesleepynow.这会很好玩的你想先做什么Thisisgonnabefun.Whatdoyouwanttodofirst?我挑战你吃完这一整罐橄榄Idareyoutoeatthisen
37、tirejugofolives.搞定Done!你在干啥啊我先来片胃药Whatareyoudoing?-mmatakeaZantac.那么多盐会让我烧心的Allthatsaltwillgivemeheartburn.哦天啊你毁掉了Oh,God.Youruinedit.我们-我们得想点其他事情We-wehavetofiguresomethingelseout.我的胃药还吃不吃了ShouldIstilltaketheZantac?吃吧你吃了之后总是会好受一点Yeah,youalwaysfeelbetterwhenyoudo.哦天啊我讨厌我们Oh,myGod,Ihateus!我们走1.etsgo.现在
38、我知道你们所有人都去做自己事情了Now,Iknowallofyouareoffdoingyourownthings而我们不像以前那样经常见面andwedontseeeachotherasmuchasweusedto,但我需要我的团队回来执行最后一次任务butIneedmyoldteambackforonelastmission.所以合起手来打败Ron数到三Sohandsin.DefeatRononthree.一二三-哦One,two,three!-Ooh.实际hRon向我保证我能在新GryZZl园区建一家餐厅Actually,Ronpromisedme1couldbuildarestauran
39、tonthenewGryzzlcampus所以我有点完全是Ron那一边的somkindoftotallyonRonsside.好吧Tom对我是死人了Donna等着你的手呢Okay.Tomsdeadtome.Donna?Waitingforyourhand.是啊Ron雇了尊购Meagle地&hearts产♥代理交易Yeah,RonhiredRegalMeaglerealtytobrokerthedeal.而我需要那个钱来办婚礼Andmgonnaneedthemoneyformywedding.ShiaLaBeouf设计的婚纱可不便宜ShiaLaBeouf-designedweddi
40、ngdressesdonotcomecheap.哦天啊你要结婚了吗Oh,myGod,youregettingmarried?那也太棒了而你之前没跟我说Thatsamazing.Andyoudidnttellmeearlier?你怎么能的Howcouldyou?Joe几天之前突然提出的Joepoppedthequestionafewdaysago.我没在GryZZlfeed上发任何东西因为想当面告诉你1didntpostanythingonGryzzlfeedcauseIwantedtotellyouinperson.这也太美了而且我对你太生气了Thisisverybeautiful.Andmf
41、uriousatyou.你怎么样啊孩子怎么样啊Howareyou?Howarethekids?哦他们很好你知道Oh,theyregreat.Youknow.他们要毁r我们还有三个呢Theyretryingtodestroyus.Theresthreeofthem.太混乱了但他们很好Itsinsane.Buttheyregreat.我们得走了Les抱歉完全搞定这事儿了Wegottarun,Les.Sorryfortotallycrushingit.也顺便搞定你了回见Andyouintheprocess.Later.嗯别害怕因为TerTy在这呢Well,neverfear,becauseTerry
42、ishere.是的我现在叫做TerryTYes,IgobyTerrynow.因为国家公园部有个家伙已经叫Larry了BecausetherewasaguyatNationalParks,hewasalreadynamedLarry.他们建议我叫TerrySotheysuggestedIgobyTerry.然后我说我的真名是Gary他们说谁在平呢AndthenIsaidmyrealnameisGaryandtheysaid,whocares.所以就是很有趣的一群人So.Itsjustafungroup.晚上好欢迎来到Pawnee两百年庆典Goodevening,andwelcometothePa
43、wneeBicentennialGala.不久之前这个镇在地图上还没什么存在感Notlongago,thistownwasbarelyonthemap.除非你说的是最肥胖宠物城市的地图Unlessyouweretalkingaboutamapofthecitieswiththemostobesepets.但然后一个伟大的男人的出现鼓舞了我们所有人Butthen,onegreatmancamealongandheliftedallofusup.而那个男人就是我TOmHaverfordAndthatmanwasme.TomHaverford.轻松时尚的装满名人的意大利餐厅Tom小酒馆的店主和所有人
44、Ownerandproprietoroftheeffortlesslychic,celebrity-packedItalianrestaurant,TomsBistro.以及其他几家机构-Ron你怎么能啊Andseveralotherestablishments.-Ron?Howcouldyou?我不过是拿了一根虾串然后在上面加了更多的虾Isimplytookaskewerforoneshrimpandaddedmanyshrimptoit.长度够串下五只或者六只Theyrelongenoughforfiveorsix.你先是想偷走我的公园然后现在你偷走我的团队Firstyoutrytoste
45、almyparkandnowyoustealmyteam?我没偷走他们Ididntstealthem.他们是独♥立♥的人只是转向了更好的事情就像你一样Theyreindependentpeoplewhohavemovedontobetterthings,justlikeyoudid.培根包虾我在这根上挤进了七只Bacon-wrappedshrimp.Ifitsevenonthisone.这是个杰作It,samasterpiece.你为啥不把它们都塞进你的蠢嘴Whydontyoushovethemallinyourdumbmouth然后当我转过身你就能把签子戳我背上了andthenwhenIturnaround,youcanstabmeinthebackwiththeskewer?人们找上我然后会说Peoplecomeuptomeandtheysaythingslike,Tom在你成就了这么多之后Tom,givenallthatyouveaccomplished,要保持谦逊很难吗isithardtostayhumble?而我会说我不是这样AndIsay.notforme.我保持谦逊的能力还是挺厉害的mprettyamazingatbeinghumble.但说够我自己了But,enoughaboutme.女士们先生们有请1.adiesandgentleme
