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1、辛普森一家第三十五季第十一集本集由真实事件改编除了本集都是胡扯的十五年前像巴菲特一样成功爬上金字塔顶端工作的艺术周一万岁Woo-hoo!T.G.I.Monday.是时候用工作的力量去打造我的未来了Timetobuildmyfuturewiththepowerofwork.春田核电站全美最安全的核电厂辛普森休息室有新出炉的甜甜圈Hey,Simpson.Theygotfreshdonutsinthebreakroom.没时间吃了我必须工作工作还是工作Notimefordonuts.vegottogettowork.Work,work,work.瞧瞧这位侯默辛普森1.ookatthatHomerSi
2、mpson.他上瘾的东西是最棒的工作He,sthebestkindofholic:Worka.组织架构图万人之上二人之下Hmm.Onlytwopeopleaheadofme.用不了多久我就能爬到最顶上Illbeontopinnotime.工作甜蜜的工作大胆尝试带来商业成功每月肉汤该溜了Quittingtime!等会你个懒蛋还有40分钟呢Whoa,whoa,lazyjoe.Notfor40minutes.你这是想骗谁Uh,whodoyouthinkyourefooling?想要欺人得先自欺Sometimesthemostimportantpersontofoolisyourself哎呀不小心加班
3、了Woo-hoo!Overtime!什么情况这路隙还是我雇的呢Whatthe?Ihiredthatcone.老谋了我到底怎么了Whathappened,Moe?为什么我从一个充满干劲的小伙WhendidIgofromanup-and-comer变成了偷别人啤酒喝的大叔Toaguywhodrinksotherpeoplesbeer?我啤酒怎么少这么多Hey,whathappenedtomybeer?被啤酒精灵喝了-又来Aleprechaun.-Again?我也曾有过野心老谋Iusedtohaveambition,Moe.是谁夺走了它Whattookitaway?确实很令人费解来再给你倒一杯吧Oh
4、,itsarealmystery.Here,letmepouryouanotherpitcher.你是个好人老谋子锡丝拉克Youreagoodman,MoeSzyslak.但行好事罢了Justdoinggodswork.假装洗过了的杯子知道吗曾经我踌躇满志Youknow,youstartwithhugedreams,但在厂里干了20年后Butafter20yearsatthatplant,只做出了一个橡皮筋大球Allvegotisabigballofrubberbands.20年的话这也不算特别大For20years,thatballaintsobig.一开始Youstartout,你以为能做
5、出一个特别大的橡皮筋球youthinkyouregonnahaveabigballofrubberbands,然后你发现竟然连这个都失败了Thenyourealize,youevenfailedatthat.太让人悲伤了0h,that,sterriblysad.挤过来挤过来Scoochingover.Scooching,scooching.过头了我能感同身受Toofar.Ishareyourdisappointment,按道理来讲Yousee,becausebythispoint,现在我应该已经赢得备受尊重的研究拨款了1thoughtdhavewonaprestigiousresearchgr
6、ant.可就连跟朋友学术辩论我都没赢过Iveneverevenwoninwordswithfriends.我有学术但是没朋友你看Ihavethewordsbutnotthefriends,yousee.联♥系♥人无没想到聪明人也会不开心Ineverknewsmartpeoplecouldbeunhappy.我的天这是眼泪我有同理心Oh,my,thatsatear.Ihaveempathy,也就说明我事实上是人类whichmeansthatIam,infact,human,正如我一直以来假设的那样asIhavelonghypothesized.你好y,ello.侯默辛
7、普森不知你是否有意向HomerSimpson?Iwaswonderingifyoudbeinterestedinajob在谢尔比村新开的核电厂任职atthenewnuclearplantinShelbyville.我吗你确定不想召更年轻或者更能干的人吗Me?AreyousureyoudontwantsomebodyyoungerormoreLenny?不是你我从没看过这么优秀的简历No,you.veneverseenaresumelikethis.说实话上面有不少工作是法♥院♥强制的Technically,severalofthosejobswerecourt-or
8、dered.有法律背景不错不错Workswithlawenforcement,great.我把面试链接发给你是线上面试Textingyoualinkfortheinterview.It,sonzoom.我每天随身带着的补光灯终于派上用场了Finally,auseforthisringlightvebeenluggingaround.难道这一刻终于来了Couldthisbeit?我的人生从此飞黄腾达Themomentmylifefinallychangesforthebetter.老侯如果你当年没有自己去喝酒Oh,Homie.Thisneverwouldvehappened那这一切的一切都不会发
9、生Ifyouhadn,tbeensittinginabarwithoutyourfamily.我是你的自我怀疑要我说你肯定会搞砸myourself-doubt,andIsayyouregonnascrewitup.我是你的野心要我说你肯定会办坏事Well,myourambition,andIsayyou,regonnablowit.搞砸-办坏事Screwitup.-Blowit.搞砸Screwitup.办坏事Blowit.没有人爱你Noonelovesyou.一如往常我的想象是对的Asusual,myimaginationisright.我永远得不到那个工作llnevergetthatjob.
10、先生我会用科学之力鼎力相助Sir,Iwillhelpyouwiththepowerofscience.科学和核科学有什么关系Whatdoessciencehavetodowithnuclearscience?而且为什么是你Andwhyyou?正如成功的故事所述或许我不能拿大满贯Well,assuccessstoriesgo,1maynotbeanegnot,但我肯定能帮你ButIcancertainlyhelpyou.艾格诺奥时大满贯那是什么Egnot?What,sthat?是艾美奖格莱美奖诺贝尔奖Thatsemmy,grammy,nobel,奥斯卡奖时代杂&hearts洁♥大满
11、贯Oscar,timemagazinesubscriber.当然了我有那个容易拿的Although,Idohavetheeasyone,ofcourse.我有一座艾美奖Ihaveanemmy.我也是Me,too.我用我的放玉米Iusemineascornholders.马姬宝贝等我得到这份工作Marge,baby,whenIgetthisjob,我们会变有钱有钱Weregonnaberich.Rich.没关系的侯默我们挺好的Oh,itsokay,homie.Werefine.真的吗我不想自己老婆还得缝补吸尘袋Arewe?Iwonthaveawifeofminemendingvacuumbags
12、.你会有新的吸尘袋的Youllgetnewvacuumbags.有一天或许有一个新的吸尘器Andsomeday,maybe,anewvacuum.这样够帅And.Handsome.爸比干嘛呢Hey,dad,whatyoudoing?萨克斯拥抱素食卷准备工作面试Gettingreadyformyjobinterview.付教授在这里干什么Whatsprofessorfrinkdoinghere?他们不是应该就采访你吗Arenttheyjustsupposedtointerviewyou?当然就只是我付临客在这里精神支持Ofcourseit,sjustme.Frinkshereformoralsu
13、pport.为什么不能是我给你精神支持呢Well,whycantIgiveyoumoralsupport?因为你的精神支持每次都带条件Becauseyourmoralsupportalwayscomeswithconditions.我不能喝那么多酒Ishouldntdrinksomuch.我应该好好活着看你毕业IshouldstayalivesoIcanseeyougraduate.得了吧放弃那些个美梦吧屁孩Comeon.Giveupthosedreams,kid.但是放弃它们But.-Givethemup.好吧Okay.zoom会议欢迎开启摄像头并加入十八个月以来我带领团队For18mont
14、hs,Iledateam就职F日内瓦的大型强子对撞机Atthelargehadroncollideringeneva.侯默你来早了Homer,youreearly.我还在面试另一位候选人斯皮瓦克博士mstillinterviewinganothercandidate,Dr.Spivak.我不在意I-Idontmind.有了别人的比较我看起来更出色Ilookevenbetterincomparisontootherpeople.博士让我先面试侯默稍后回复你Doctor,letmeinterviewHomer,andllgetbacktoyousoon.真的是非常稍后大约五秒那样的稍后Veryso
15、on.Maybefiveseconds.Thatkindofsoon.侯默先从你对核能管理委员会的了解开始Homer,let,sstartwithwhatyouknowaboutthen.R.C.美核会国能会N.R.C.N.r.C.是那帮搞枪♥支♥的疯了对吧thosearethegunnuts,right?天哪作为一个人类的同类oh,dear.Asafellowhuman,我想帮助他但那不道德Iwanttohelphim,butthatsunethical.但我确实是那种书呆子ButIamthekindofnerd总是把答案脱口而出Thatalwaysmustblu
16、rtouttheanswer.美国核能管理委员会nuclearregulatorycommission.没错-美国核能管理委员会没错Yes.-Thenuclearregulatorycommission.Yes.他们很重要因为Theyreimportantbecause.他们是政♥府♥机构Theyrethegovernmentagency主管核电厂和核物质fornuclearplantsandmaterials.根据行政命令于1975年建立Createdbyexecutiveorderin1975.我滴个乖乖Gluhavic.他们是政♥府&hearts
17、;机构Theyrethegovernmentagency主管核电厂和核物质Fornuclearplantsandmaterials.根据行政命令于1975年建立Createdbyexecutiveorderin1975.我滴个乖乖Gluhavic.我不知道那个呢Mm.Ididntknowthat.就像冰山一样没看到的总比看到的多1.ikeaniceberg,theresmoretoyouthanmeetstheeye.确实像冰山一样Andlikeaniceberg,你大概不会在夏天见到我Youprobablywontseemeduringthesummer.妙极了我喜欢有点小幽默excelle
18、nt.Ilovegentlehumor.这就是衍射光栅如何将光按波长Andthatshowadiffractiongratingdisperseslight分散成不同部分的原理Intocomponentsbywavelength.壮哉我物理学科Hoyvinmoyvinphysics.侯默我必须说Homer,Imusttellyou,这场面试就像我还没抹丙三醇乳霜之前的脚Thisinterview,uh,waslikemyfeetbeforeglycerincream.开头粗糙结尾顺溜Startedroughbutendedquitesmooth.你得到了这份工作很好再见Youhavethejo
19、b.Hyvasti.Nahdaanpian.同上Uh,ditto.面试结束面试失败职业停滞去死你知道那是我的电脑吧Youknowthatsmycomputer,right?拿走Takeit.我们做到了你的头脑加我的听力Wedidit.Yourbrainsandmylistening我们是最完美组合击个四指掌吧wastheperfectcombination.Highfour.我摔倒啦AndoverIgo.不敢相信我被录用了IcantbelieveIgotthejob.那真不错当然Well,thatswonderful,andofcourse,你已经不再需要我的帮助youwillnotbenee
20、dingmyhelpanylonger,祝你好运soIwishyouthebest.等等等等Wait,wait,wait,wait.听着先生我帮你得到工作就这样1.ook,sir,thedealwasIwouldhelpyougetthejob.Thatsit.我甚至都没要任何报酬Ididntevenaskforanything.我的付出并没有得到相应回报Myquidwaswoefullyun-proquod.你现在不能丢下我古语有云Youcan,twalkoutonmenow.Youknowthesaying:授人以鱼ifyougetamanajob,youfeedhimforaday.不如
21、替人钓鱼Ifyoudoaman,sjob,youfeedhimforalifetime.现在你想让我替你上班Nowyouwantmetodoyourjobforyou?先生你真是个肥胖的黄香蕉蜡蛭Y-you,reafatyellowbananaslug,sir.拜托了Please.好吧好吧我♥干♥我替你全干了Fine.Fine.lldoyourjob.lldoallofit.不对不对不是全干No,no,no,no,no,no.Notallmyjob.像三月疯狂比赛表我填就行1.ikemyMarchmadnessbracket,llhandlethat.你选贝勒大学战
22、胜冈萨加大学是不行的Youcantbetrustedwithpickingbaylorovergonzaga.好吧这个我也做了Allright,lldothat,too.春田核电站辛普森这是你的第691次Allright,simpson,thisisthe691sttime跳槽youveleftusforanotherjob.这次我感觉良好Yeah,weltIhaveagoodfeelingaboutthistime.所以我们觉得管他呢So,wefinallysaidwhatthehell,鉴广其他工作都有表格wehaveaformforeverythingelsearoundhere,sow
23、hynotthis?首先你觉得你要走多久First,uh,howlongdoyouthinkyoullbegone?侯默辛普森的跳槽休假这次要多久像之前一样永远Asalways,forever.永远For.Ever.断了一些后路寄钱给酒保销毁工作站冰箱里的食物给猎犬最后一页And,uh,finally,inthisinstance,你希望别人怎么接手你的工作然后滚蛋wherewouldyoulikeeveryoneheretotakethisjobandshoveit?我让你选IllIetyoupick.肛♥门♥你耳朵你鼻子河马屁♥股♥最
24、后-项让你戏剧性的离开Now,allthat,sleftis,uh,foryoutostormoutdramatically.轮不到你指挥我我不干了Donttellmewhattodo!Iquit!所以你需要我告诉你该怎么做So,youneedmetotellyouwhattodo,但你工作我无法一直跟着buttheresnowayIcanbewithyouatthenewjob.所以我发明了这个把它拿出来So,Ihaveengineeredthis.Justgetitouthere.这是“付临客远程音传眼镜”Thisistheear-a-nodefrink-a-talk.我以自己命名的Ina
25、meditmyself.你听它传输我的声音到你耳朵里Yousee,ittransmitsmyvoicerightintoyourear,你就可以鹦鹉学舌了“soyoucanrepeatmywordslikeaparrot像金刚鹦鹉或者我的宠物鹦鹉那样oramacaworevenmypetbudgie.我在笼子里呢教授minacage,professor,即使这样我都比你有趣andevenIhavemorefunthanyou.等等笼子里不是有两只鸟吗Waitaminute,werenttheretwobirdsinthatcage?我是食人鸟macannibal.欢迎来到谢尔比维尔“春田”核电
26、站我们芬兰人相信最好的员工是休息好的员工WefinnsbelievethebestemployeeIsarestedemployee.目前员工能在工作场所舒服睡着Now,it,uh,takesmonthsbeforeanemployee通常需要几个月的时间我们.iscomfortablesleepingatwork,we.你可不一样1.ookatyou.怎么了这有人了Huh?What?Occupied.这就是美国人的能睡精神TheresthatAmericancan-sleepspirit.现在我带您去员工餐厅Now,letmeshowyoutheemployeecanteen.天啊我可付不起
27、Aw,geez,Icantaffordthis.都是免费的No,itsallfree.免费你们到底是什么人Free?Whoareyoupeople?在芬兰我们不止是核电站的专家Well,inFinland,werenotonlyexpertsatnuclearpower,还是连续六年排名butforsixyearsinarow,世界最幸福的人wevebeenthehappiestpeopleintheworld.有道理你们住得离圣诞老人那么近Makessense.Youlivesoclosetosantaclaus.实际上我们的幸福是詹代法则Actually,ourhappinessisaco
28、mbinationofjante,詹代法则其特点是否定个人的成就低期望值冷刚决心1.owexpectations,sisu,determination.冷刚-和爽酒宅Sisu.-.andkalsarikannit.这是何意Whichis?穿内衣在家独饮Drinkingathomeinyourunderwear.天啊之前我就一直爽酒宅Oh,mygod.Iwaskalsarikannitbeforeitwascool.假期周Fl橄榄球周居家办公周五Holidays,sundays,footballmondays,phone-it-infridays.非常好Magnificent.我们还提供免费日托
29、Wealsoofferfreedaycare,喝不完的热巧克力Bottomlesshotchocolate,和一直流动的惊喜按♥摩♥师AndarovingsquadOfsurprisemasseuses.还有什么事是维京人做不到的吗Isthereanythingvikingscantdo?没赢过超级碗Winthesuperbowl.这就是你工作的地方Andthisiswhereyoullbeworking.你还记得斯皮瓦克博士吧YourememberDr.Spivak,dontyou?他们聘用我给你做助理Theyhiredmeasyourassistant.你就是那
30、个以为会获得这个职位的女士Hey,youretheladywhothoughtshewasgonnagetthejob.不记仇吧Nohardfeelings?当然当你面不会Well,certainly,nottoyourface.这句话好像另有深意Hmm,msensingsomethingbeneaththatremark.我才不会告诉你直到一切都来不及Nothingllsharewithyou.Untilitstoolate.那很好Thatscool.你会惊讶于多少人和我说过此话Youdbesurprisedhowmanypeopletalktomeinthattoneofvoice.我想也
31、是msureIwould.只有我自己觉得我们相处的很不错吗Isitjustmeorarewegettingalonggreat?第一天怎么样Howwasyourfirstday?马姬和你说我第一次在工作中Marge,Itellya,forthefirsttimeinmycareer,觉得自己都能做到Ifeellikevemadeit.所有事都得心应手吗Therewasnothingyoucouldnthandle?可乐服眼镜所有事你都得心应手Therewasnothingyoucouldnthandle.所有事我都得心应手TherewasnothingIcouldnthandle.我喜欢你回答
32、前思考的样子Mm,Ilikethewayyouthinkbeforeyouanswer.你是说我回答前付临客吗DidyousayFrinkbeforeIanswer?现在你为何那样付临客NowwhywouldyouFrinkthat?这么说话好奇怪但我先不计较rThatsanoddwaytoputit,butllignoreit因为我们终于有了日托Becausewefinallyhavedaycare.我可以在中午洗澡洗多久都行IcantakeabathforaslongasIwantInthemiddleoftheday.技可以用次牙线叫，次就像影星那样Icanflossonce,thent
33、hrowitaway,Likeamoviestar.我们还能买♥♥得起轻榨橄榄油Wecanaffordextravirginoliveoil.阿麦我从公♥司♥带了食物回来Maggie,Ibroughtsomefoodhomefromwork.是肉丸但他们称之为麋鹿球Theyremeatballs,althoughtheycallthemreindeerballs.侯默是时候了Homer,thisisit.我们已经进阶到中产上层Weremovingtotheuppermiddleclass.我们可以在二次通知时就付账Wemightbeabl
34、etopaybillsonthesecondnotice.赫尔辛基生活我觉得我们应该做防震措施审核So,Iwasthinkingweshouldreviewaseismicmeasures.你怎么看Whatdoyousay?我觉得我们应该从电脑建模开始Ibelieveweshouldbeginwithanalysisviacomputationalmodels.真有趣Interesting.你在将将说好基本英语Youalternatebetweengraspingforbasicenglish和难以置信的复杂答复中来回横跳Andincrediblycomplexanswers.仿佛你是个白&h
35、earts;痴♥但吃掉了一个天才Yourelikeanidiotthatateagenius.你在侮辱我的智商还是夸奖我的品味Areyouinsultingmybrainsorcomplimentingmyappetite?聪明你在用聊天机器人吗Clever.Areyouusingachatbot?对但只用于猥琐的五行诗Yes,butonlyfordirtylimericks.”曾经有个呆子来自加州理工thereoncewasanerdfromcaltech他的感情生活糟的难以形容.”Whosedatinglifewasquiteawreck.1真猥琐Ooh.Thafsdirty
36、.我爱这份新工作Ilovethisnewjob!人们看我的目光充满Peoplewerelookingatmewith,uh.那词怎么说来着”尊敬“笨猪Whatsthatword?-Respect,lardbutt.我也很为你开心爸爸mhappyforyou,too,dad.但我很好奇你如何把工作做得很棒同时Butmcurioushowyouredoingsowellatthisjob另一边还-我们还是要多看积极方面When,youknow.-Letsfocusonthepositives!我今天有时间洗三次澡Ihadtimeforthreebathstoday.如果不能说出自己的感受Well,
37、ifIcan,tsayhow1feel,那我就问房♥唱悲歌♥Illjustgotomyroomandsingalament.*年轻女孩坐在屋*inaroomayounggirlsits*哀伤唱她那悲歌♥*andsingshersadlament*万事不再像过往*causethingsarenotthesameitseems*不似那辛普森梦乡*asinsuchSimpsondreams*校园时光缓流过*slowlypassingdaysatschool*爸爸正在换工作*anddadischangingjobs*和芬兰人一起研究核武器*Workingont
38、henukeswithFinns*完成一半了*不是他该干的活儿*isnottheplaceforhim*将于四十九季呈现*金色彩虹为何会消失*Whydohisgoldenrainbowsend?*这首歌♥为何如此悲伤*Whyisthissongsosad?*也许我该上去看看她Mmm,maybeIshouldgouptoher.马姬悲伤让她快乐Marge,beingsadmakesherhappy.感谢两位回复我的邮件Thankyoubothforansweringmyemail.我总是很乐意见到核工程行业的同僚Itsalwaysapleasuretomeetnuclearcoll
39、eagues.感谢您的邀请Thanksforinvitingus.侯默人呢WheresHomer?我还准备说句”嗨“之类的话打个招呼呢IwasgonnasayHiormaybesomeothersuchgreeting.首先你们能不能告诉我First,couldyoutellme,侯默在上份工作的表现如何howwasHomersperformanceathislastjob?来点威士忌吧Havesomewhiskey.他挺不忘初心的Well.Hewasconsistent.女士我来这儿不是为了诋毁侯默辛普森的1.ady,mnotheretobad-mouthHomerSimpson.行吧说句公
40、道话Okay.Tobefair,如果他们不想让他在上班时睡觉iftheydidntwanthimtosleepatwork,他们就不该把反应堆的声音做成白噪音thentheyshouldnthavegivenreactorsthatsoothinghum.如果你来用字母给他评分的话从A至J.Well,ifyouweretogivehimalettergradefromAto.我给F不我给ZF!No.Z.我想我们需要个更大的字母表Youknow,weregonnaneedabiggeralphabet.我们有没有提过侯默有次给小镇搞了个穹顶Oh,didWementionthedomeHomerp
41、utoverthetown?那是个周二Oh,thatwasaTuesday.侯默你记不记得Oh,Homer,doyouhappentoremember铀的相对原子质量theatomicmassofuranium?这也太简单了是238.02891uThatsfrightfullyeasy.Thats238.02891u.我不知道你是谁但你的作弊行为让这个Idontknowwhoyouare,butyourcheatingenabled只会啃甜甜圈的酒鬼偷走了他干不了的工作thisdonut-eatingdaydrunktostealajobhecantdo.可耻啊可耻啊Shame.Shame!我
42、的天我越界了Oh,deargod.I-vecrossedaline.我成了疯狂的科学家了vebecomeamadscientist.我我觉得你已经越界很久了1.uh.Ithinkyoucrossedthatlineawhileago.你好啊弗兰德斯Hey,Flanders.你和我打招呼了Yousaidhellotome.我为什么还要不高兴呢Whytheupside-downfrown?生活完美时你打招呼的人也变得有趣了It,sfunnythepeopleyousayhitowhenyourlifeisperfect.听着侯默我不干了1.ook,Homer,mthrough.从现在开始你要独&h
43、earts;立♥思考了Fromnowon,justthinkforyourself.好吧我想到的第一件事是没门Okay.Myfirstthoughtis.Never!你让我有了我该有的样子也就是你的样干YoumademethemeIwasmeanttobe.whichisyou.立刻回到我的脑子里这是你该在的位置Nowgetbackinmybrainwhereyoubelong.你不能指挥我做事Youcannottellmewhattodo.不我可以Yes,Ican.只要你告诉我该怎么指挥Aslongasyoutellmehowtosayit.拜托告诉我怎么指挥嘛Comeon,t
44、ellmehowtosayit.我听见有人提高嗓门了Ihearraisedvoices.不如我们举杯共饮柠檬水消消气吧Howaboutweraiseaglassoflemonadeinstead?闭嘴吧弗兰德斯Oh,shutup,Flanders!这句不错我喜欢闭嘴吧弗兰德斯Oh,thatsgood.Ilikethat.Shutup,Flanders!你想和我谈谈Uh,youwantedtotalktome?是的我有正事要和你谈Yes,mafraidits,uh,quiteserious.我在看你工作时注意到一些事Itsaboutsomething1noticedwatchingyouwork
45、.我注意到你干得很不错venoticedyou,redoingquitewell.我想邀请你参加公♥司♥团建Iwantedtoinviteyouonourcorporateretreat.主题是滑雪和科学Skiingandscience.我就不能只是线上快速参与一下吗Can,tIjustdoitoverzoom?你确实会很快从三千六百米的坡上滑下来Oh,youwillbezooming.Downa12,000-footslope.*我只听说过乐趣*Funisjustawordveheard*我总是感到悲伤*whenmfeelingsad*艰难的八年教会我*Storieseig
