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1、你好我是吉恩兴我有预定的Hello,mGeneSing.Ihaveareservation.太好了看到您预定了一晚Wonderful.Iseewehaveyouhereforonenight.是的-你们是从哪来的Yes.So,whereareyouguyscomingfrom?我们Guys?你能看见我Uh,youcanseeme?我是说你Ijustmean,uh,you和你的行李因为andyourluggage,becausehere在伍德斯通这儿我们会把行李跟人一样看待atWoodstoneMansion,wetreatyourbagslikepeople.挺好的Oh,thatsnice,I
2、guess.我天哪Oh,my.Ooh-weel这个高帅哥是谁啊Whosthistalldrinkofwater?夫人Maam.我的天哪你是个鬼Biscuitsandgravy,youreaghost.天我的帽子怎么样Oh,myGod.Howsmyhat?还是又小又丑的你闭嘴索尔Stillsmallandugly.Shutup,Thor.不好意思这位女士能看见我们吗msorry,uh,thisladycanseeus?对对她从楼梯上摔下来了Yeah,yeah,shefelldownthestairs撞到了头现在她能见鬼了andhitherheadandnowshecanseeghosts.她是个
3、怪人但胜在态度好Sheisfreak,buthasgoodattitudeaboutit.为什么我们之前没见过你呢Howisitweveneverseenyoubefore?是你的产权到期了吗Didyoujustexpireontheproperty?我是个促狭鬼Iamapoltergeist.就是会黏在人身边而不是附着在一个地方的鬼Whichisaghostattachedtoapersoninsteadofaplace.不是吧Well,now.You,rekiddingme.所以基本上吉恩去哪我就去哪Basically,whereverGenegoes,Igo.吉恩是谁-萨曼我们需要点时间
4、WhosGene?Sam,we,regonnaneedaminute,你能拖住他一会儿吗ifyoucouldjuststallforabit.这个信♥用♥卡♥读卡器好像不好使了Thecreditcardmachinelookslikeitdidntwork,所以我可能得soIwilljust,um,需要你填份表格needyoutofilloutthisform.我是阿尔伯塔海恩斯爵士歌♥手So,mAlbertaHaynes.Jazzsinger.谋杀受害人Murdervictim.我喜欢在月光下漫步Ienjoylongmoonlitstr
5、olls,一直走到庄园的边界rightuptotheboundaryoftheproperty.很高兴认识你我叫锁尔亨利Pleasuretomeetyou.ThenamesSaulHenry.那个为黑人联盟打职棒的锁尔亨利吗TheSaulHenrywhousedtoplayfortheNegro1.eagues?我记得在报纸上读到过Irememberreadingaboutyou有关你的文章天哪inthepapers.Yall,heplayedshortstop他是特拉华马蹄蟹队的游击手fortheDelawareHorseshoeCrabs.直到有一天Untiloneday,我们对阵康涅狄格
6、圆蛤队wewereupagainsttheConnecticutQuahogs结果一个曲球打中了我的头andIwashitintheheadbyayakker.致命的一击Anditwaslightsout!可怜的老锁尔亨利Oh!Forol,SaulHenry.好了。Hereyougo.萨曼莎继续拖住Samantha,keepstalling.我们还会让Oh,wealsoask客人们填写ourcustomerstollout感谢卡oneofthesecommentcards.我还没住就填吗Beforemystay?对因为这样我们好有个基准Yeah,causethenwehaveabaseline
7、tocompareitto跟你离开时填写的卡片做比对whenyoufilltheotheroneoutattheendofyourstay.那久黏在一个人身边是怎样的So,whatsitlikebeingattachedtoaperson?没那么差劲啦Oh,itsnotbad.吉恩是个牙医Yousee,Geneheresadentist他喜欢环游世界wholikestotraveltheworld还拍很多漂亮的照片andtakebeautifulphotographs.但在我去过的ButofalltheexoticlocalesIvebeento,所有充满异国情调的地方里why,youreth
8、emostbreathtakingsight你是我见过的最美的景色veeverseen.天我们是在内布拉斯加吗这也太粗俗了Wow,areweinNebraska?Causethatwascorny.现在知道你是如何被人打败的吧皮特Justknowwhenyourebeat,Peter.这是那你的钥匙Uh,heresyourkey.但在你离开之前Butbeforeyouleave,Iwouldlove我想跟你聊聊tojusttalktoyoualittlebit大厅里的木制品aboutthewoodworkhereinthelobby.我看还是算了吧Youknowwhat?mgood.谢谢我们走
9、了Thanks.Andwereoff.你好好玩喔enjoyyourvisit你也是该死我说啥呢Youtoo.Damnit.WhydidIsaythat?晚点来我房♥间Ueuptomyroom一起闯杯酒吧andsmellaglassofwinelater.很好的邀请索尔会考虑一下的Isveryniceinvitation,Thorthinkaboutit.闭嘴吧我会去找你的Shutup.I1bethere.你们的婚礼快到了So,withyournuptialsfastapproaching,我们得开始敲定一些细节了wevegottostartnailingdownsomedetai
10、ls.有好多事要让萨曼莎去做呢WevegotsomuchtotellSamanthatodo.其实我想啊给婚礼定个主题Well,Iwasactuallythinkingitmightbefun可能会很有趣tohaveathemeforthewedding.主题婚礼肯定好玩Ooh,athemecouldbefun.对对也许可以选魔法花♥园♥Yes,yes,perhapssomethinglikeenchantedgarden或者巴黎春矢orspringtimeinParis?实际上我想的是Mm.Actually,Iwasthinking.恐龙dinosaurs.恐龙吗
11、-我是说除非你们觉得有点过Dinosaurs?I-1mean,unlessitsoverdone.我承认自己并不了解Imean,Iwilladmitthatmnotuptodate最新的婚礼趋势onthelatestweddingtrends.艾萨克我喜欢你对事情充满激♥情♥Isaac,Ilovethatyouhavesuchpassions,但迷恋恐龙这事吧butthisnewdinosaurfixation-只是你的个人爱好itsreallyjustyourhobby.而婚礼Andthewedding,well,应该是我们两个人的事itreallyshouldb
12、eaboutbothofus.作为婚礼策划人保持公正是我的职责Asaweddingplanner,itismyjobtoremainimpartial.但是你这个想法火糟糕了However,thisideaissoterrible,我真的只能站奈杰尔了IreallymustsidewithNigel.我们的婚礼将以侏罗纪公园为上题Well,wewillbewalkingdowntheaisle没有商量的余地totheJurassicParktheme,andthatisnonnegotiable.婚礼计划的如何了Howstheplanninggoing?Icanttellyou我一想到要参加婚
13、礼就激动不已howexcitedIamtoattendthiswedding.我都想好自己穿件么了Ialreadyknowexactlywhatmgonnawear.这个玩笑你已经见过了皮特Youvealreadymadethatjoke,Peter.喜剧越重复越精彩Comedygetsbetterwithrepetition.下一项议程是NIGE1.:Nextupontheagenda:我们的单身之夜ourstagdo,s.你们应该是叫Ibelieveyoucallthem单身派对吧bachelorparties.我的就在今晚Mineistonight.如果你需要指导我随时可以喔mherei
14、fyouneedanyguidance.我知道我们不能喝醉1knowwecantgetdrunk或者开着加长凯迪拉克在大西洋城转悠ordrivearoundAtlanticCityinastretchEscalade,但我们还是可以开趴的燥起来butwecanstillparty.Comeon!我去大西洋城参加过一个旅行社会议IwenttoatravelagentconventioninAtlanticCity.我跟你们说吧Thebattleforroomupgradeswasintense,房♥间升级的争夺战可激烈了letmetellyou.别担心特雷弗NIGE1.:Donty
15、ouworry,Trevor.我们英国人知道该怎么嗨WeBritsknowhowtohavefun.所以在我的派对上我们会喝酒Whichiswhyformyparty,weshallcelebrate吃烤肉withtoasts,来表示庆祝如果气氛够狂野roasts,andifthingsgetreallywild,就来一首黄色打油诗anoff-colorlimerick.艾玛这都啥啊Oh!Thatsoundsterrible.艾萨克你肯定有更好的主意吧Isaac,pleasetellmeyouhavesomethingbetterplanned.我的将是个狂野下流的夜晚Minewillbeaw
16、ild,ribaldnightofreciting朗诵着威廉莎士比亚的破折号♥WilliamShakespeares-waitforit-十四行诗sonnets.你们俩真是天生一对Youtwoaremadeforeachother.AlAig4(4.谢谢Ish射Oh,thankyou.Thankyou.两个我都想参加Well,Iamexcitedtoattendboth.每个我都想好要穿什么了Ialreadyhavetheperfectoutfitforeach.还是不好笑Itsstillnotfunny.你等会儿嘛Justwait.真不敢相信我会和A1.BERTA:Icantb
17、elievemhere著名的锁尔亨利在一起withtheSaulHenry.还有打呼噜的吉恩AndsleepingGene.很遗憾吉恩没点红酒Well,unfortunately,uh,Genedidntorder给我们俩闻-没关系啦小哥anywineforustosmell.Child,thatsallright.我其实更喜欢萨泽拉克鸡尾酒mmoreofaSazerackindofgirlmyself我喝过最好喝的一次是在桑尼阳光俱乐部BestoneIeverhadwasatSunnysSunshineClub.什么我以前是桑尼的头牌哎What?IusedtoheadlineSunnys.-
18、什么-对啊What?Yeah.那你认识汤米汤米吗Say,didyouknowTommyTwoTimes?23年那会他在那看门Heusedtoworkthedoorbackin23.岂止是认识那个傻瓜到我死时还欠我5块钱呢Knowhim?ThatfoolstillowedmefivedollarswhenIdied.想想就生气Ooh,Igetmadjustthinkingaboutit.你知道吗well,youknowsomething,你发脾气的样子好可爱yourekindofcutewhenyouremad.真的吗-嗯嗯Oh,youthinkso?Mm-hmm.他的前列腺Oh,thatshi
19、sprostate.但是别担心Oh.Butdon,tworry,等我回来我们还有妥妥的45分钟在一起wellhaveasolid45minuteswhenIgetback.这简直是最棒的打油诗了NIGE1.:Thatwasthebestlimerickyet.皮特你可真会逗人开心Oh,Peter,youdoamuseme.这是我参加过的最糟糕的单身派对Thisistheworstbachelorpartyveeverbeento,之前参加过一个派对andIwasatonewhereaflamingshot燃♥烧♥弹♥把新郎的胡子都点着了setthegr
20、oom,sbeardonfire.我曾经看到直尔斯顿城被大火吞噬IoncesawthecityofCharlestongoupinflames.各位单身派对Guys,abachelorparty应该是一场充满酒精issupposedtobeadepravedaffair毒品和大腿舞的堕落之旅fullofalcohol,drugsandlapdances.大腿舞1.apdances?大腿舞就是TREVOR:Alapdanceis一个假装当服务生挣学费读大学的人whensomeonepretendingtobeworkingtheirway坐在你的大腿上throughcollegesitsonyo
21、urlap用他们的私处摩擦你的私处andgrindstheirjunkupagainstyourjunk.我觉得我可以试一下IthinkIcouldgiveitatry.巴克斯特来点伴奏吧Baxter,alittleaccompaniment?我天Yes.Oh,my.天Oh,my.你觉得奈杰尔被前任AndhowdowefeelaboutNigel这么蹭我们该作何感想gettinggrindedonbyhisex?索尔懂得欣赏艺术Thorappreciatetheartistry,但觉得艾萨克可能butfeelIsaacmightnot不会太高兴besoamused.我要打工赚钱去上大学呢mma
22、kingmywaythroughuniversity.是是NIGE1.:Oh,yes,youare.有人跟阿尔伯塔SAMANTHA:So,hasanyone说过话了吗她昨晚spokentoAlberta?Shewassupposed应该跟锁尔在一起的一对哈tohangoutwithSaullastnight.Right.那个黏在牙医身边的促狭鬼Thedingerthatsattachedtothedentist是在枫叶套房♥吧太疼人了intheMapleSuite?Socreepy.我只想说阿尔伯塔今早散步没有来喔All1Isayis,Albertamissedourmornin
23、gwalk.他们是不是搞到一起了Oh!Iwonderiftheyhookedup.早上好啊Goodmorning.如果你们这些傻子等着听细节猛料Oh,ifyoufoolsarewaitingaroundforjuicydetails,那就别想了youcanforgetit,因为我什么都不会说的causeIamtellingyounothing.不不不我们绝不会那样的No.No,no,no.Wewouldnever.那就好因为我和锁尔在那个房♥间里Good.CausewhathappenedbetweenmeandSaul发生的事与你们无关upinthatroomisnoneofy
24、ourbusiness.而且我说的可是Andmtalkingabout三次喔allthreetimes.干的漂亮阿尔伯塔Niceone,Alberta!他们做了杰Theydidit,Jay.一个人来到哈德逊河谷也许是为了看鸟GuycomestotheHudsonValley,maybetoseesomebirds.结果发现自己成了一个夸维度三人行的Instead,hefindshimselfanunknowingparticipant不知情参与者inaninterdimensionalthreesome.但是我得承认ButIgottoadmit,though,除了我们之间的身体接触之外asni
25、ceasthephysicalelementwas,我真心喜欢上了锁尔IactuallykindoflikeSaul.他要是走了我会伤心的llbesadtoseehimgo.伯塔-阿尔伯塔她说他走了Bertie.Alberta.Shesaidshesgonnabesad她会伤心嘿toseehimgo.Hey.我来退房♥的Okay,so,checkingout,好吧SAMANTHA:Okay.住的还好吗挺好Andhowwasyournight?Good.不过房♥间里有Althoughtherewasaratherloud特别吵的哼哼声hummingsoundinthe
26、room.都是我的错也是你的错Mybad.Butalsoyourbad.真希望你不用走Oh,Iwishyouweren,tleaving.哦哦天吉恩Uh.Oh.Oh,wow,Gene.根据记录显示Itsaysherethatyouareactually你是我们的第100o名住客our1,OOOthcustomer.真敢编啊Notevenclose.所以我们可以为你Andassuch,youreentitledtoextendyourstay免费续房♥一晚byanextranight,freeofcharge.HETTY:Oh.真诱人但是不了谢谢Wow,tempting,but,u
27、m,no,thankyou.我想我还是回费城吧IthinkIhavetogetbacktoPhilly.我帮你拎行李-好llhelpyouwithyourbags.Great.非常感谢各位保重Uh,thanksalot,folks.Takecare.Uh-huh.我觉得跟一个附着在某样东西上的鬼鬼Ugh,it,spainfulwhenyouredatingsomeone谈恋爱特别痛苦whosattachedtosomething.因为那个汽车鬼我体会到了这一点AsIknow,becauseofthecarghost.就是杰西卡我之前的女友Youknow,Jessica.Whowasmygirl
28、friend.关键点是我交过女友ThepointisIhadagirlfriend.你这圈子绕的萨萨皮斯Thatwasalongwalk,Sasappis.看来要告别了Well,Iguessthisisgoodbye.真希望我们能有更多的时间在一起Iwishwehadmoretimetogether.实际上还真有个办法Actually,thereisanotherway.极度痛苦Now,it,sextremelypainful,但如果我精力够集中butifIcanfocushardenough,我可以从一个宿主身上脱离Icanactuallysortofjerkmybodyoff然后转到另一个
29、宿主身上ofonehostandontoanother.你会为我这么做吗Youddothatforme?为你做什么都行Anythingforyou.嘿再次感谢所做的一切GENE:Hey,thanksagainforeverything.谢谢Thankyou.刻薄的吉恩（恶劣的基因）MeanGenel加油啊Comeonnow!那个吉恩是个好人ThatGeneisaniceguy.一杰好消息各位Uh,Jay?A1.BERTA:Goodnews,yall.锁尔现在跟着杰了SauljerkedhimselfoffontoJay.我不走了mstaying.我是说那个可怜的家伙都不知道Imean,thep
30、oorschnookdoesntevenknow自己身上黏着个鬼theresaghostattachedtohim.锁尔现在黏你了Saulisnowattachedtoyou.不是吧Oh,comeon.我们是早上洗澡还是晚上洗呢DoWeshowerinthemorningorthenight?不用告诉我我喜欢惊喜Youknowwhat?Saullovesasurprise.真不知道索尔怎么想的1dontknowwhatThorstalkingabout.你的帽子多好看啊Iratherlikeyourhat.你个小可爱Youlittlecharmer.嗯但我更喜欢帽子下的女人Yeah,butIl
31、ikethewomanunderneathevenmore.抱歉msorry.萨曼Sam.你真的非得待在这吗Doyoureallyneedtobehere?这是我的房♥间啊Itsmyroom.怎么了Whatshappening?锁尔说什么了吗WhatdidSaulsay?我在跟阿尔伯塔说话Oh,IwastalkingtoAlberta.阿尔伯塔也在这吗Albertasinhere,too?她又没附着在任何人身上Shesnotattachedtoanyone.真是烦死了Ihatethis.她和锁尔在一起啊SheshangingoutwithSaul.就是吧It,sjust.对我和锁
32、尔来说it,salittlehardformeandSaul你在这我们俩toexpressourselvesphysically想搞点小动作就很难withyourightthere.是啊杰是没办法他必须在这Yeah,ImeanJaysonething.Heneedstobehere.但你就Butyou,well这样也太诡异了Youknow,thatsjustweird.好吧我想Uh,okay,Imean,Iguess我应该可以下楼Icouldgodownstairs收发个邮件什么的吧andjustmaybecatchuponsomeemails.等等不是吧那你得把阿尔伯塔一起带走Wait,wh
33、at?PleasetellmeyouretakingAlbertawithyou.我把阿尔伯塔一起带走mtakingAlbertawithme.真的吗Really?杰你想让我怎么说呢Jay,whatdoyouwantmetosayhere?不行Nope.Mm-mm.我不想躺在这里mnotgonnalieherewhiletwoghosts让两个鬼鬼在我身上亲热canoodleontopofme,所以我要去泡杯茶喝somgonnagomakesometea.你跟阿尔伯塔说把这事搞定YoutalktoAlbertaandyoufigurethisout.走了锁尔1.etsgo,Saul.他其实不用
34、说Hedidnthavetosaythat,但我感谢他的提醒butIappreciatethewarning.一会见llseeyoulater.好吧等他们回来你告诉杰我离开了Okay,whentheygetback,youtellJayIleft.然后等他睡着了你再离开Then,whenhefallsasleep,youmakeyourselfscarce.别担心我会尽量小声点的Anddontworry-Illkeepthehummingtoaminimum.我为你开心但我觉得总这样也不行啊1.ook,mexcitedforyou,butthisisntsustainable.萨曼我都多久没遇
35、到过一个自己心仪的Sam,itsbeenalongtimesinceIvemetaghost鬼鬼了thatminterestedin.这里就像是沙漠我很饥渴Thisisadesert,andmparched,而这个高帅哥（高杯水）突然出现了andinwalksthistalldrinkofwater.你真的忍♥心拒绝我吗Doyoureallywanttodenymethat?这事我们得告诉艾萨克对吧WegottotellIsaacaboutthis,right?我是说找人给你跳大腿舞是一回事Imean,gettingalapdanceisonething,但如果这人是你前任就是另
36、一回事了butgettingalapdancefromyourex?这也太不妥了吧Imean,thatsjustnaughty.嘿单身汉派对上发生的事Hey,whathappensatabachelorparty就仅限那一晚staysatabachelorparty.这是规矩皮特Itsarule,Pete.我喜欢遵守规则Well,Idolovefollowingrules.那么ISAAC:So?昨晚的单身派对如何啊Howwasthebachelorparty,hmm?我相信打油诗Itrustthelimericks应该够下流吧weresufficientlyribald?詹金斯给奈杰尔跳了大腿
37、舞NigelgotalapdancefromJenkins!一皮特-抱歉Pete!Oh,sorry.什么叫大腿舞啊Uh,uh,whatisalapdance?就是一大腿舞就是Well,its.THOR:1.apdanceiswhen一个当服务生挣学费读大学的人someoneworkingtheirwaythroughschool用他们的私处摩擦另一个人的私处grindstheirloinsagainstsomeoneelse,sloins.说的还挺好的Thatsprettygood,actually.我希望你们不是在Ihopeyouboysarent复述昨晚的打油诗吧recountingany
38、oftheracierlimericksfromlastnight.因为那可就成了单身“不”对了Becausethatwouldbearealstagdont.你和詹金斯昨晚Whatexactlyhappenedlastnight到底发生了什么betweenyouandJenkins?什么都没有啊Itwasallinnocent就是单身派对我的乐子嘛实际上Justabitofstagdofun.Infact,你今晚的单身派对也应该来一段大腿舞youshouldgetalapdanceatyourpartytonight.不了谢谢我可不想让詹金斯坐我腿上No,thankyou.Idon,twan
39、tJenkinsinmylap.也不一定非得詹金斯ItdoesnthavetobeJenkins.不如我们叫萨曼给你请个真正的脱衣舞者啊WhatifweaskSamtogetyouarealstripper?他们还肯上门服务吗Dotheymakehousecalls?皮特你真可爱Pete,youreadorable.这主意可太好了Thatsasplendididea.到时你就可以自己看看这多有意思了Thenyoucanseeitwasallingoodfun.嘿萨曼Oh,hey,Sam,我们想让你给艾萨克的单身派对Weneedyoutohireastripper请个脱衣舞演员forIsaac,
40、sbachelorpartytonight.一好-不是吧这就答应了Okay.Really?Thatworked?还有比这更诡异的事呢Theresalotweirderstuffhappening.你这是赶巧了Youcaughtmeonagoodweek.杰:Jay.你为什么这么小声-啊嘘嘘嘘锁尔在睡觉呢Whyareyouwhispering?Shh,shh,shh.Saulsasleep.是因为他们做了一晚上吗：Isitcausetheyweredoingitallnight?可能是吧Probably.我忍♥不了了萨曼Icantlivelikethis,Sam.问题是阿尔伯塔说她
41、一直在沙漠里Thethingis,Albertasbeeninadesert.什么这话什么意思啊What?Whatdoesthatmean?我只是觉得需要考虑一下她的感受Ijustthinkweneedtoconsiderherfeelingshere.那我的感受呢Whataboutmyfeelings?我也是个人啊萨曼maperson,too,Sam.我们就再给她一个月的时间行吗Whatifwejustgaveher,like,anothermonth?你是疯了吗Areyououtofyourmind?这太疯狂了萨曼Thisisnuts,Sam.别吼我啊Dontraiseyourvoicea
42、tme.我没法吼这才是重点Icantraisemyvoice,thatsthepoint.我才应该是你优先考虑的Ishouldbethepriority.我理解阿尔伯塔的情况但我身边有个鬼IunderstandAlbertassituation,butIgotaguy跟着我去淋浴followingmeintotheshower.嘘-跟着我去泡澡Shh.Intothebathroom.这简直是最最诡异的事了Itsdeeply,deeplyweird.好吧这的确诡异Okay,fine,itisweird.这对不公平It,snotfairtoyou.我觉得我们应该坚持Ithinkweshouldju
43、stinsist让锁尔到别人身上去附着（打飞机）thatSauljerksoffontosomeoneelse.什么What?他们从一个宿主Thatswhattheycallit转移到另一个宿主身上时就这么说whentheymovetoanotherhost.为什么不能直接说呢Whynotjustsaythat?所以你想让我为这个空椅子跳舞:So,youwantmetodanceforthisemptychair?对但你可以假装Yeah,butifyoucouldpretend上面有人坐着一行吧thattheressomebodyinit?Right.其实吧-你不用解释See,thething
44、is.Youdonthavetoexplain.收钱就得做事嘛Thatswhatthemoneysfor.嘿别嘻嘻的Hey,don,t,tee-hee,athim.那是来给艾萨克表演的ThatsIsaacsstripper.没事It,sfine.不过说实话我觉得这挺傻的Thisisallrathersilly,tobehonest.耶JYeahJ如此诱人JSoseductiveJ,我带你去糖果店JItakeyoutothecandyshop?让你舔棒棒糖Jlletyoulickthelollipop./这应该是某种Thissupposedtobesomesortof顶级男性标本吧peakmalespecimen?他还不错啦但是Imean,he,sokay,but.我去Oh,mygods.这些都什么呀Whatareallofthose?我染上单核细胞增多症的那个夏天也有腹肌Ihadthosethesummer1caughtmono.那时候死了就好了Oh,ifonlyIcouldhavediedthen.玩偶很可爱Thatisacutestuffie.是某个小孩把霸王龙落这了Oh,uh,yeah,somekidlefttheirT.rexhere.其实那个不是黯王龙是双脊龙Actually,thatsnotaT.rex.T
