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1、根据真人真事改编好了小伙子们开始吧Allright,boys,herewego!康特斯我在想So,HUntSie,Iwaswondering,你究竟花了多久把你头发弄成这样的howlongdoesittakeyoutogetyourhairlikethat?差不多四个小时吧Aboutfourhours.真不错Itsnice.斯密提觉得你像激素打多了的史蒂夫旺（天才歌♥手）SmittythinksyoulooklikeStevieWonderonsteroids.但是我喜欢-去你的butIlikeit.-Fuckyou!噢!瞧瞧菜鸟给你整的那娘娘腔的脸Ooh!1.ookatthat
2、facepussythatrookiegaveyou.冰球坏小子我觉得我搞定他了IthinkInailedhim.橘镇马萨诸塞州人口：125,200上一个周日的清晨1.astSundaymorning阳光却像雨点一样Thesunshinefeltlikerain在上一周里Weekbefore它们就没有变过Theyallseemedthesame在上帝和真心朋友的帮助下WiththehelpofGodandtruefriends我才开始明白Icometorealize.恶毒得鞭笞着我另一边的脑袋Viciousslashtothesideofthehead.道格!，快去工作Doug!Gettowo
3、rk!洛思端亚RossRhea!飓风呀hurricane.这上面说你有棕色的眼睛Itsaysherethatyouhavebrowneyes.得了吧Comeon!你其实是蓝色的眼睛Youactuallyhaveblueeyesinreallife.我不会付钱的!他妈的mnotpayinganything!Fuck!真对不起兄弟mreallysorry,man.该死的Fuck.怎么了杰瑞？我什么都没赢到Whatstheproblem,Jerry?-Ididntwinanything!因为那是个自动点唱机杰瑞Thatsbecauseitsajukebox,Jerry.到闹市来吧宝贝Goondown
4、town,baby找个人来爱吧Findsomebodytolove我也不会再浪费时间rMeanwhile,Iaintwastintimenomore因为时间就像瓢泼大雨那样流走Causetimegoesbylikepouringrain还会流逝得更快Andmuchfasterthings.追逐着地铁.Runninafterthesubwaytrain.很有精神嘛多谢夸奖Nice.-Thankyou.戈德史密斯先生和太太你们看上去真年轻Mr.andMrs.Goldsmith,youguyslooktooyoung.下一次你需要带身份证过来否则我可不能让你进去了Youhavetobringyour
5、IDsnexttime.Otherwisemnotgonnaletyouin.啊？你在讲什么鬼东西Huh?Whatthehellareyoutalkingabout?芭芭拉过来见见格拉特先生和太太Barbara,dlikeyoutomeetDr.andMrs.Glatt.嗨很高兴见到你-你好Hi.Nicetomeetyou.MRS.-Howdoyoudo?还有他们的医生儿子艾勒Andtheirdoctorson,Ira.嗨很高兴见到你-很荣幸认识你Hi.Greattomeetyou.-Pleasure.喔艾碧这是我的小儿子道格Oh,Albee,thisismyyoungestson,Doug.
6、你好哎哟!对不起Hello.Ah!-Oh,sorry.嘿艾勒你有心上人吗So,Ira,haveyougotamainsqueeze?这么帅气的外科医生我敢打赌你迷倒了不少人Ahandsomesurgeon,Ibetyourebattingthemoff事实上我的心上人迟到了Mysqueezeislate,actually.你♥爸♥爸还以为你是单身呢Yourdadthoughtyouweresingle.我怎公会知道WhatdoIknow?话说回来道格你在哪所长春藤学校里混呢So,whatIvy1.eagueschoolareyouhidingat,Doug?道格并没
7、有从事家族事业Dougdidnotfollowinthefamilyvocation.他是个.-我做弹跳运动He,s.-Ibounce.打篮球那样的1.ikeabasketball?理查德Richard!嗨Hi!他们是非常亲密的朋友Veryclosefriends.简直就是两口子了格拉特Thatsquitethecouple,Glatt.他是犹太人吗IsheJewish?噢!快停下!Ah!Comeon,stop!风啊别再吹我的帽子了Stopblowingmyhat,wind!正式地说来他们两个都是收养的Fortherecord,theyrebothadopted.日复一日多年之后的路途都已不见
8、Byandby,wayaftermanyyearshavegone所有的战争狂人都相继死去留下我们独自在这里.Andallthewarfreaksdieoftleavinusalone.你来了呀!噢你这个英俊的混♥蛋♥Yes,thereheis!Oh,handsomebastard!快进来吧!快进来!-谢rComeonin!Comeonin!-Thanks.该死的你看到昨晚那个混♥蛋♥瑞亚都做了什么吧Fuck,tellmeyousawwhatfuckingRheadidlastnight.那一下削的太狠了Itwasaprettybruta
9、lchop.我之前从来没见过瑞亚那么丢脸过vefuckingneverseenRhealosehisshitlikethatbefore.他居然被禁赛20场Hegotsuspendedfor20fuckinggames.波士顿队把他下放给了圣约翰队BostonsendshimdowntoSt.Johns.他都4。岁rHe,s40yearsold.就是这样他已经完蛋了兄弟Thatsit.Hesfuckingdone,son!好了接下来欢迎收看”冰♥火♥两重天”节目Allright,then.WelcometoHotIce.今晚我们将听到洛斯瑞亚的歉意Tonight,w
10、ehaveRossRheasapology.致达里尔和他的家人ToDarylandhisfamily,我对之前所做的事感到非常的抱歉mdeeplysorryforwhathappenedoutthere,forwhatIdid.天呐看看他真可怜Jesus,lookathim.Itspathetic!我不会找借口Ihavenoexcuse.我不会Idont.上帝呀我再听不下去这种鬼话了JesusChrist.Icantstomachthisshitanymore.看到他这样他妈的让我难受Fuckingkillsmetoseehimlikethis.我可能会在下周的“冰♥火&hear
11、ts;两重天上来个特写llprobablyfeatureitonnextweeksHotIce除非伍斯特的那个混账苏利又打来电♥话♥unlessthatmotherfuckerSullyfromWorcestercallsinagain.就像上周那样他打进电♥话♥1.ike,lastweek,hecalledin说自己是彩票抽奖的工作人员pretendingthathewasfromsomefuckingsweepstakes,还说我赢了特♥等♥奖♥andhetoldmethatdwonthegr
12、andprize可以嘴里塞上50根“香肠”of50cocksinmymouth.他说我可以选择一次性塞50根Hegoes,Ihavetheoptionofsuckingall50atonce也可以选择每月1根一直玩乐50个月oroneamonthfor50fuckingmonths.该死真抱歉我没打算让你不开心的伙伴Fuck,msorry.Ididn,tmeantobringyoudown,pal.噢不没事Oh,no,no.我I.我无所事事你明白吗Idonthaveathing,youknow?比如你有节目要做1.ike,youhaveyourshow.而我老爸和哥哥Andmydadandmy
13、brother,他们做医生的也有自己的事theyhavetheirdoctorthing.而我什么都没有Idontgotathing.除了我每个人都有事可干Everybodysgotsomethingbutme.让你爆我菊花会不会帮到你WouldithelpthatIwantyouinsideme?让你在我的巧克力工厂里整点柠檬汁出来ThatIwantyoutomakelemonadeinmychocolatefactory?去他♥娘♥的♥丧Eh?Fuckthisfuckingsadshit!去看看刺客队怎么把奥沙华队踢到屁滚尿流吧1.etsjustg
14、owatchtheAssassinskicktheshitoutofOshawa.我要用他妈的玉米热狗塞满你的大屁♥股♥llfillyourbig,thickassfulloffuckingcorndogs.去死吧奥沙华队Fuckyou,Oshawa!女士们先生们这只是比赛第一节1.adiesandgentlemen,thisisonlythefirstperiod.我预测这场混♥蛋♥比赛绝对会变成蹂蹒屁屁大赛Iampredictingthatthisfuckinggamebecomesanabsoluteass-raping就像那个可恶
15、的尼德巴蒂一样（美国演员）thatonlythelikesoffuckingNedBeatty或者也有可能只是“盎司“这种小阵容也能理解or,potentially,thecastof0zcancomprehend.道格你怎么看Dougie,anythoughts?真有趣香肠也好吃Thisisfun.Thesearetastytreats.噢!那是怎么回事Oh!Whatthefuckisthatshit?到小屋子里去！去你♥妈♥的♥Getinthefuckingbox!-Fuckyou!快进去!-滚你Y的Getin!-Fuckyourself!拜拜了姨
16、♥子♥Bye-bye,bitch!去你的!-神经病Fuckyou!-Psycho!欢迎来到橘镇混♥蛋♥WelcometoOrangetown,motherfucker!怎么回事Whatthefick?你想来跟我♥十♥一架吗你个死同性恋Youwantafuckingpieceofme,youlittlefuckingfaggot?嘿我哥哥就是同性恋Hey,mybrothersgay.受够门该死的Thatsit!Fucking.这他妈是要干嘛Whatthefuckisthis?噢糟了他往上面来了Oh,shit.He
17、scominguphere!你居然还在拍我你个死同性恋Youfuckingfilmme,youlittlefuckingfaggot!嘿我兄弟就是同性恋Hey,mybrothersGAY!混账东西Motherfucker!靠Cw!唉哟Oh!干得好道格!狠狠揍他那颗死脑袋Oh,attaboy,Dougie!Kickhisfuckingheadin!真♥他♥妈♥的爽Holyfuckingshit!看看他那张姨妈脸1.ookatthatface-period!你看见没Youseethisoverhere?你要收问你刚才的话吗Youwanttotakethat
18、wordback,please?滚你♥妈♥的♥死基佬Fuckyou,faggot!太棒了Yes!噢天呐Oh,myGod!道格威武!道格威武Doug!Doug!冰♥火♥两重天one.这才是我的好兄弟Thatsmyfuckinboy!种族大灭绝呀Bonergenocide!我很确定我的眼球都要射出来了Iamprettysuremyfuckingeyeballsjustejaculated.派特够了Pat,thatsit.今晚我们请来了一位非常特殊的客人Tonightwehaveaveryspecialfuckingguestjo
19、iningus.“野蛮人”道格格拉特DougTheThugGlatt!我可是你的粉丝呀这是个好节目mabigfan.Itsagoodshow.说到粉丝我们来接入电♥话♥吧Speakingoffans,letsgotothephones.幸运的家伙你接通的是冰♥火♥两重天节目Caller,youreblowinghotice.嗨你们好我想知道你是否喜欢吃热狗Hi,there.Iwaswonderingifyoulikehotdogs.额这个问题Huh.Thats.对我喜欢吃热狗太棒了Yes,Ilikehotdogs.-Great!但我更喜欢
20、玉米热狗不用小面包包着吃ButIprefercorndogsbecauseyoudontneedabunforit用小面包就全包住了而你可以从棍子那头开始吃becausethebunisallaroundit,andyoucaneatitfromastick.你喜欢热狗因为你喜欢嘴巴里含着大家伙哎孙子Youlikehotdogscauseyoulikebigcocksinyourmouth,son!你个贱♥人♥Youmotherfucker!去你♥妈♥的♥吧God-fucking-damnit!去你的格斯还有布莱恩你们这帮傻
21、♥逼♥Fuckyou,GusandBrian,youmotherfuckers!这号♥人也能接进来Youresupposedtoscreenthisshit!太恶心了!我不玩了Fuckthis!mdone!我也受够你了vehadenoughofyou还有你那个恶心的毛衣背心和极权国家的审杳制度好吧andyourfuckingsweater-vest,police-statecensorship,okay?嗨你好!你是冰♥火♥两重天接通的最后一位观众Hi,there!YouarethefinalcallereveronHotI
22、ce.你好我是若利霍顿斯Oh,hi.ThisisRollieHortense.我是橘镇刺客队的主教练mtheheadcoachoftheOrangetownAssassins.是吗？去死吧你派蒂帮我个忙Yeah?Gofuckyourself-Patty,domeafavor.让我和你兄弟道格谈谈好吗1.etmetalktoyourbuddythere,Doug,okay?我打电♥话♥是因为昨晚你给我留下了深刻的印象mcallingbecauseyouimpressedthehelloutofmelastnight,也震撼了其他人andalotofotherpeopl
23、e,too.过奖了Thankyou.你也很令我惊叹Youimpressmeahellofalot,too.我就开门见山了llbedirect.我想让你明天到溜冰场来一趟WhatIwantyoutodoiscomedowntotherinktomorrow,来试一场选拔赛comeoutthereforatryout.好好考虑一下明天下午两点半Youthinkaboutit,okay?Tomorrowat2:30.行呀好的Okay.Yeah.我希望明天两点半在那见到你Ihopetoseeyoutheretomorrowat2:30.在哪见Where?你们这些家伙早上的时候还真有精神Oh,yougu
24、ysreallyshineinthefuckingmorning!嘿小伙子Hey,kid!道格Dougie!道格Doug!过来这边吧孩子Comeonouthere,son.过来Comeon!那家伙是谁Whothefuckisthisguy?上帝呀JesusChrist!哇鞋子真不错兄弟Wow,nicewheels,boy.别对我朋友这么无礼Stopbeingmeantomyfriend!那是他同性恋哥哥的鞋子Theyrehisgaybrothers!怎么你从没见过花样溜冰鞋吗What,youneverseenfigureskatesbefore?嘿-你好Hey.-Howdy.我靠Fuck!我不
25、知道你们这群小甜心们都在笑什么Idontknowwhatyousweetheartsarealllaughingat.上次比分是1比9Oneandnine,lasttimeIchecked,所以闭上你们的鸟嘴让他好好试试明白吗soshutthefuckupandletthisguyhavehisshot,allright?教练你不是真要让这个家伙入队吧Coach,yourenotactuallygonnaletthisguyjointheteam.你知道自己加入不了这个该死的老鼠溜冰团的对吧伙计YouknowyourenotjoiningthefuckingMouseCapades,right
26、,buddy?你不是来尝试这个.这个Yourenottryingoutforthe.the.啥?这个溜冰团What?The.Capades.痛痛快快讲出来吧Spititout.你是个大人了用大人的方式说话吧Youreabigboy.Useyourbig-boywords.呃Uh.管球了Fuckit.去死吧！噢贱♥人♥Shit!Oh,shit!不要脸的贱♥人♥Motherfucker!混♥蛋♥Cocksucker!天哪JesusChrist.干得不错呀孩子Holylick,boy!不过不太好的是Itsjustto
27、obad你打倒在地的都是你的队友thoseareyourteammatesthatyoufuckedupoutthere.对不起教练Oh,msorry,sir.当然了从好的方面来看Ofcourse,onthebrightside,那些都是你打倒在地的队友thoseareyourteammatesthatyoufuckedupoutthere.你觉得怎样孩子？你要加入刺客队吗Whatdoyousay,son?YouwanttobeanAssassin?是的是的Yes,yes.你想穿几号♥球衣Whatnumberyouwanttowear?69号♥69!穿69号&hea
28、rts;Takethenumber69!就太搞笑了Itshilarious!有人用那个号♥吗Isthatnumbertaken?现在要盯紧了!盯紧rDigitinnow!Digitin!没关系一开始烂一点才能进步Thatsokay.Yougottobeshittytogetbetter.推进再推进就是这样Push,push,push!Thereyougo!你差不多都掌握了!我不担心你下场rYoualmostgotit!Idontcareifyougodown.我生活的时间所剩无几Igotnotimeforlivin是呀因为我一直醉心工作Yes,mworkin,allthetime
29、对我来说Itseemstome.格拉特!格拉特Glatt!Glatt!抱歉Excuseme.该死的Shit!开始吧道格1.etsgo,Doug!他们都叫我工作狂人Theycallmetheworkingman.这样很好!很不错Hey,Prettygood!Prettygood!就这样就这样好多了Way,Way,Way,waybetter!他们都叫我工作狂人Theycallmetheworkingman.哇Whoa!“主宰者”洛思瑞亚RossTheBossmotherfuckingRhea.他可是大♥师♥级的暴揍对面白♥皮♥书&hearts
30、;Heisthemaster.Allright,FuckingGuysUp101.你看到瑞亚在做什么了吗？-嗯YouseewhatRheasdoing?-Mm.把肩膀前面抓稳了Grabbingontothefuckingmeatrightthere.你什么都干不了而你已经筋疲力尽了Nothing.Nothingscomingthrough,andyourefuckingtiringout啪!啪Pow!Bam!我暴揍你逼着你打近身Ilureyouinbybeatingthefuckoutofyou.当你受不了贴近身的时候Whenyoucomeinclosetostopthefuckingonsl
31、aught.直接!上勾拳Boom!Uppercut!便宜6000美元!-便宜5000美元$6,000off!-$5,000off!野蛮人讨厌没价值的车子TheThughatescrappycars!抱歉伙计Sorry,bud.你可以把别人玩死老兄Youregonnafucksomebodyuprealgood,kiddo.他们都叫我工作狂人.Theycallmetheworkingman我猜这就是我真实的样子Iguessthat,swhatIam教练你要见我？-噢是的道格Coach,youwantedtoseeme?-Oh,yeah.Hey,Doug.好了快进来吧坐下吧Yeah,comeoni
32、n.Grabachair.有些事想跟你谈谈IgotsomethingIwanttodiscusswithyou.我真的以你为豪Iamtrulyfuckingproudofyou.我也以你为豪mtrulyfuckingproudofyou.想象一下你加入专业曲棍球队里打球会怎么样Imagineifyouplayedinaleaguewheretheyactuallyplayedhockey.你的天赋在这都浪费了Yourtalentswastedhere.我不知道自己是否有天赋IdontknowifIhaveanytalent.哎呦你可是上帝之手点化的孩子Youvebeentouchedbythe
33、fistofGod,forChrist,ssake!多谢夸奖教练Thankyou,sir.我有个兄弟荣恩Igotabrother,Ron.他是哈利法克斯高地人队的教练和总经理HesthecoachandgeneralmanageroftheHalifaxHighlanders.我一直跟他提起你我认为你能帮助他摆脱困境Ivebeentellinghimaboutyou,andIthinkyoucanreallyhelphimout.起因是他那里的一个队员Itallstartswiththisplayerhesgotthere,泽维尔拉弗雷姆Xavier1.aFlamme.这个家伙简直就能和冰球融
34、为一体Holyshit,couldthisguydancewiththepuck!也能把对方那些混♥蛋♥赶走Andhecouldputthatcocksuckeraway,too.百分百纯正的天生技能100%purenaturalskill.新人选秀时拿了第二名Heendsupgoingnumbertwooverall,蒙特利尔队要走了他andMontrealgrabshim.哇!第一名Whoo!Numberone!赛季的第四场比赛在主场Fourthgameoftheseason,itsthehomeopener.口崩Bam!”主宰者”洛思瑞亚RossTheBoss
35、Rhea.撞的真不错对吧Nicehit,eh?三♥级♥脑震荡Suffersathird-degreeconcussion.事实上他没死都算是命大Actually,hesluckyhewasntfuckingkilled.他归队之后整个人都有点畏手畏脚Timehecomesback,he,sscaredshitlessoutthere.这个孩子身上的压力也确实越来越大Andthepressuresreallystartingtomountonthiskid,他也实在做不好了andhereallycanthackit他开始缺席训练Hestartsmissingpract
36、ices.开始和一些不三不四的人混在一起Hestartshangingwiththewrongpeople.流言性♥交♥视频越来越多Therumors,thefucktapes.Itallstartstoaddup.那个夏天他跑去俱乐部说他想做个交易So,thatsummer,hegoestotheclub,sayshewantsatrade.他们不会和他做交易的而是直接把他扔到了哈利法克斯Theyrenotgonnatradehim.Theysendhimdown.Halifax.他就跟着我兄弟了Heswithmybrother.够!那已经是我能忍♥
37、的极限了娘娘腔Allright!ThatsaboutallIcanfuckingstand,ladies!知道我们为什么会输吗？因为你们都是不入流的混♥蛋♥Youknowwhywe,relosing?Causeyou,refuckingshit!道格他想和你签约Doug,hewantstoofferyouacontract.这是一个乡村俱乐部Thisisafarmclub.这可不是什么用恶心的无线电台Thisisnotsomeleaguewhereyoureplayingonateam命名的社团thatsnamedafterafuckingradiostation.
38、这是跨入美国职业冰球联盟的重要一步Thisisonestepunderthebigleague.你去那里掩护好弗兰奇Yougothere.YouwatchFrenchie1Sback.也许你还能叫醒他Maybeyoucouldsnaphimoutofhisslump.也许你能让整个队伍都觉醒起来Maybeyoucansnapthatwholeteamawake.太感谢你了Thankyousomuch!不用谢我这是一次绝佳的机会Youdontgottothankme.Thisisagreatopportunity.很高兴你能明白那是你画的msogladyouseethat.-Didyoudraw
39、that?什么？-那匹狼What?-Thewolf.对呀当然是了-它叫什么名字Yeah,ofcourse.-Whatsitsname?小呆子1.oopy.把它裱起来看到它你就能记起在刺客队的时光FrameitandyoucanrememberyourdaysasanAssassin.谢谢你的画教练Thanksfor1.oopy,Coach.我表姐雪琳在达特茅斯的一家脱衣舞酒吧工作MycousinSherilyn,sheworksforthistittybar叫什么夜间法庭upinDartmouthcalledfuckingNightCourt.她跳舞的时候Andshehasthisdancem
40、oveshedoes拖着她那该死的锯齿一样的长指甲whereshedragsherfuckingjaggedlittlecokenail扫过她的剖腹产疤痕acrossherC-sectionscars.这几年来她一直让我过去看她跳舞Shesbeenaskingmetocomeupandwatchherdanceforages,我一直想告诉她andvebeenkindoftellingher,”啊我们是一家人啦那样有点恶心”Ah,thatskindofgrosscausewerefamily.但是我并不是真的觉得那么恶心ButIdontactuallyfinditthatgross.到我车厢r这
41、辆Hm.Thisismehere.-Thisone?道格Dougie.为了我把那些混♥蛋♥打得屁滚尿流吧beattheshitoutofsomejagoffsforme.我能搞定的对吧mgonnabeokay,right?你可是混♥蛋♥野蛮人YourethefuckingThug!你会变得又邪恶又牛逼Youregonnabewickedfuckingawesome!我爱你兄弟Iloveyou,bud.我会想你的伙计-我也会想你llmissyou,buddy.-Illmissyou.喔天哪!喔天哪Oh,myGod!Oh,myGod!他要走咯
42、Therehegoes!那是我的朋友!我认识“野蛮人”道格格拉特Thatsmyfriend!IknowDougTheThugGlatt!我记得他那玩意Irememberwhenhisdick小的就像圣诞树灯一样wasatiny,littlefuckingChristmaslight!哈利法克斯!哈利法克斯！Halifax!Halifax!哈利法克斯新斯科舍省人口：418,059你好Hello?天哪)esus!有人吗Hello?噢-我错过什么好戏了吗Oh.-DidImissaspot?对不起很高兴认识你们msorry.Nicetomeetyou.把他妈门关上!谢谢你让我进来Closethefuc
43、kingdoor!-Thankyouforhavingme.天哪太早了Jesus,it,searly!我是道格格拉特戈德奥格尔维mDougGlatt.-GordOgilvey.很高兴认识你Nicetomeetyou.那么道格你就是那个暴揍所有人的强壮纽约佬吧So,Dougie,yourethetoughYankwhobeatstheshitoutofeveryone.我没听说过那些Idontknowaboutthat.很高兴你来这了兄弟Gladtohaveyouhere,bud.谢了我也很高兴来这儿Thanks.mhappytobehere.噢去死吧!我老婆抛弃了我Oh,fuck!Yeah,m
44、ywifeleftme.说她受够曲棍球了Saidshewassickofhockey.受够了曲棍球Sickofhockey.我.为你感到难过m.sorry?可别听着更难受了Well,itsprettymuchtheshitter.不用了谢谢你真客气No,thanks.Oh,soniceofyou.我不喝了谢谢No,mgood.Thanks.这位是史蒂夫斯ThishereisStevesie.需要什么的话只管告诉我他都能搞定Anythingyouneed,youtellme,helldoit.不用犹豫很高兴认识你Donthesitate.Goodtomeetyou.很高兴认识你我是格格戴特不对是道格格拉特It,snicetomeetyou.mGlugDatt.DougGlatt.那是帕克左边锋赚钱去读医学院ThatsParkey,leftwinger.Payingforhismedschool.亚洲人都很勤快啊Asiansareanindustriouspeople.我猜曲棍球对他来说就像数学一样Iguesshockeyislikemathtohim.冻结冰球就像方程式-样对吧帕克？Icingthepucksarelikeequations,eh,Parke
