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1、外星居民第三季第八集消灭小灰人计划提前引发小规模雪崩让堆积在山头上的积雪减少美国国防部私人领地严禁非法侵入珀金斯矿场没事别担心咱们是同族谨慎点总没错他们也把螳螂人关在这是的确实在这也许他没死什么Maybehesnotdead.-What?我们得回去看一下Wehavetogobackandsee.约瑟夫是外星人Josephisanalien.他们真的存在Theyrereal.他们劫持人类Theyabductpeople,但没人记得andtheydontremember.不No!至少这次让我记住Atleastletmerememberthistime.理查德回来了杀气变得很重Richardisba
2、ck,andheismurder-y.我爱他Ilovehim.我把球给了罗伯特但小灰人绑♥架♥了他IgavetheballtoRobert,buttheGreyskidnappedhim.他们愚蠢美丽的混血儿拿到了球和我的DNAAndtheirstupid,beautifulhybridshaveitandmyDNA.他们就可以加快黄石洞穴的计划TheycanspeeduptheirplansforthecavernatYellowstone.我正在做炸♥弹♥Iambuildingabomb用来炸毁小灰人的飞船thatcandestroy
3、theGreysspaceship.有个混♥蛋♥偷走了我的炸♥弹♥Somesonofabitchstolemybomb.谁会偷炸♥弹♥-约瑟夫Whowouldstealthebomb?-Joseph.他肯定是趁我睡着溜了进来HemusthaveslippedinwhileIwassleeping.长得好看的人总觉得自己可以为所欲为Handsomepeople,theythinktheycanjustdoanything.所以小灰人有了你的DNA和球SotheGreyshaveyourDNAandtheball.
4、他们随时可以炸飞黄石公园TheycouldblowupYellowstone彻底毁灭地球anddestroytheEarthanyminute.是的如果我让军队闯进去Yeah.-AndifIsendmyforcesin,小灰人就会定住他们theGreyswilljustfreezethem?是的Yeah.那完了Thatsit.结束了我Itsover.I.我没法阻止他们Icantstopthem.有谁看见我的平板了吗Hasanyoneseenmytablet?在这呢Oh,thereitis.桥特你用电子设备已经够多了好吗Bridget,youhavehadenoughscreentime,oka
5、y?这是我Its.me.不不不这是我儿子No,no,no,thisismyson.年纪还小还在尝试各种模样呢Heisyoung,andheisstillexperimentingwithhislook.宝宝叛逆期Okay,terribletwos.别电门你Dontslamit,you.要是那晚没有你的外星人飞船飞过Ifyouralienshipdidn,tflyoverthatnight,我父亲就不会死myfatherwouldstillbealive.我一辈子都在找外星人Ispentmyentirelifelookingforaliens就为了把他们全杀光sothatIcankillthem
6、all让你们这群怪物彻底从地球上消失andridthisEarthofallyoumonsters.这里应该是我的安全空间Thisismysafespace.但我现在不觉得安全mfeelingnotsafe.你懂我意思的你是其中比较好的外星人YouknowwhatImean.Youreoneofthegoodones.其中比较好的外星人Oneofthegoodones?抓到你搞种族歧视了Icaughtyouinaracism.太迟了Itstoolate.这次真的完了It,sreallyover.才没有呢No,itisnot.只要我把炸♥弹♥拿回来Ijustneedt
7、ogetmybombback再炸飞小灰人的飞船就行了andblowuptheGreys,spaceship.我得找到约瑟夫IhavetofindJoseph.可能要花点时间Itmaytakealittletime.因为他靠传送门活动Hetravelsbyportal.什么What?什公传送门Whatportal?就是传送门啊Theportal.portals.小灰人的TheGreys,itshowtheyget这样他们就能在两地间瞬间移♥动♥和穿越时间fromplacetoplaceandjumptimelines.我也是用这门技术Itsthesametechnol
8、ogyIused才能回到过去成为歌♥利亚togobackintimetobecomeGoliath.我给你解释了这么多Iexplainedallofthistoyou.但有时我觉得你根本没在听SometimesIthinkyoudonotlistentome.你要知道我说的话很重要Youknow,mywordsmatter.别担心Dontworry.我会找到约瑟夫IllfindJoseph.人类的一生中大部分时间用来寻找Humansspendmostoftheirlivessearchingforsomething.有时候找偷炸♥弹♥的混血小灰人Som
9、edays,itsaGreyhybridalienwhostoleyourbomb.然后转头又去找车钥匙Thenextday,itscarkeys.还有时候他们要寻找的Andsomedays,whattheyresearchingfor是能向他们爱人倾诉的勇气isthestrengthtotellsomeonetheylove坦言他们的世界快要崩塌thattheirworldisfallingapart.嗨-嘿Hi.-Hey.我要跟你-我要跟你说点事Ineedtotellyou.-1needtotellyousomething.抱歉Sorry.没事你先说No,yougo.你有没有碰到过非常疯狂
10、的事Youeverhavesomethingsocrazyhappen而且你完全不知道怎么办thatyouhavenoideawhattodo?有Yeah.我遇到过Yeah,Ihave.嘿Hey.我可能只剩几次录视频的机会了Imayonlyhavetimetodoafewmoreofthese.我终于到这了mfinallyhere.我能看见很多混血小灰人IcanseetheGreyhybrids.他们确实个个性感都有点吓人了Oh,theyreallyaresohot,it,sscary.也可能我就是害怕了Maybem.justscared.听着我一直以为我是为滑雪而生的1.ook,Ialway
11、sthoughtIwasputheretoski,但或许我是为此而生的butmaybeitsthis.其实它和雪崩控制差不多It,skindoflikeavalanchecontrol.都是为了防止灾难而选择引爆makeanexplosiontopreventadisaster.一样的操作只不过在山上Same,exceptonthemountain,我不太可能连我自己也一起炸飞there,snotmuchchancethatmgonnablowmyselfuptoo.不过嘛如果我死了能救所有人Buthey,ifIdiesavingeveryone,至少我知道了我诞生的意义atleastllkn
12、owIwashereforareason.我也知道你们都会为我骄傲AndIknowyoullallbeproudofme.不是强迫你们不过Notpushingthis,but.给我做一尊巨大的青铜骑马像bigbronzestatueofmeonahorse算是个不错的悼亡礼mightbeanicetribute.是达西ItwasD,arcy.她才不会偷炸♥弹♥呢Shewouldnotstealabomb.里面连一点伏特加都没有Thereisnotevenanyvodkainit.艾略特说她去家里找他Elliotsaidthatshecametohishouse还说她
13、要做一件大事andsaidshewasgonnadosomethingbig能让大家都为她感到骄傲sothatpeoplewouldbeproudofher.肯定就是这件事Thismustbeit.我们得找到她Wehavetofindher.不是她偷的是约瑟夫Itwasnother.ItwasJoseph.他偷T炸♥弹♥Hestolethebomb!什么炸♥弹♥Whatbomb?当我没说是她偷的Nevermind.Itwasher.你到底是来干什么的Whatthehellareyoudoinghere?怎么你想再给我下药吗Why,doyo
14、uwanttodrugmeagain?你想再当一次蠢蛋吗Youwanttobeadickheadagain?想啊Yeah,Ido.不是我不想Well,Idont,actually.告诉我这个化学式是做什么的Tellmewhatthisformuladoes.你要是敢说什么冰淇淋Andifyousayanythingabouticecream,我就知道你可能撒谎了llknowyoumightbelying.这化学式能让小灰人ThisformulaallowstheGreys把地球变成除了他们tomaketheEarthuninhabitable谁也住不下去的地方foreverythingexce
15、pttheirspecies.所以人类住不了Sonothumans?对No.半人也不行Andnothalf-humans?对不行Yeah,no.等等你也不知道你们的计划是什么吗Wait,youdidntevenknowwhatyourownplanwas?我只知道发生了一些事Iknewsomethingwasup.他们行为怪异躲避眼神交流Theywereactingweirdandwouldntmakeeyecontact.每次他们都笑得特别开心Everytimetheywould,theywouldsmiletoobig.就像大家都被邀请去派对了除了你1.ikewheneveryoneisi
16、nvitedtoapartyexceptyou.老天我以为你不想去凯拉的生日派对Oh,God,IthoughtyoudidntwanttogotoKaylasbirthday.我当然想去卡莱拉的派对啊OfcourseIwanttogotoKalayla1Sbirthday.是凯拉我跟你说过很多次了-凯拉拉ItsKayla.vetoldyouthatsomanytimes.-Kaylala.不敢相信他们想让我死-你能别说吗Icantbelievetheyweregonnaletmedie.-Willyoudropit?我为他们做了这么多Aftereverythingvedoneforthem.七
17、年来我一天都没休息过Ihaventhadadayoffinsevenyears.太恐怖了吧Thatishorrible.就连塞普蒂斯人都能一年休息两周EvenSeptidsgettwoweeksoffayear.不只是假期少Itisntjustthevacations.日结工资也是垃圾Theperdiemisshit.医保也是最差的Wehavetheworsthealthplan.知道吗去年我和莱普迪肯人打架的时候Youknow,whenIgotinafightwitha1.epticonlastyear,伤到了手去链针还得自掏腰包cutmyhand,Iwasoutofpocketforthe
18、stitches.惨无人道啊就是Thatshorrible.-Yeah.你超过免赔基数了吗Hadyoumetyourdeductible?我们能不能先不谈医保了Canwepleasestoptalkingabouthealthcare,okay?达西有危险D,arcyisindanger.世界可能随时毁灭Theworldcouldendanydaynow.其实就是今天Today,actually.今天他们把你的球给r弗兰克Today?-TheygaveyourballtoFrank让他把黄石公园的洞穴填满水andtoldhimtofillthechamberatYellowstonewithw
19、ater.天啊Oh,myGod.我们能帮你打败混♥蛋♥弗兰克WecanhelpyoudefeatthissonofabitchFrank.怎么帮-我造了炸♥弹♥How?-1builtabomb.不过被她的小丑头朋友偷走了Andherclown-hairedfriend,shestoleit.是那个呆头呆脑的Withthe.thestupid-looking.别说了真服了Oh,stopit.God.她已经去黄石公园了ShesheadedtoYellowstone因为她打算做蠢事becauseshesgonnadosomethingstupi
20、d.如果你能帮我们找到她Butifyoucouldhelpusfindher,我们就能用炸♥弹♥阻止他们thenwecouldusethebombandstopthem.可能为时已晚Itmaybetoolate.我们得试试约瑟夫拜托了Wehavetotry.Joseph,please.听着我知道你人性的那一部分还是在意的1.ook,I.Iknowthatthereisahumanpartofyouthatcares.我们约会的那晚我看出来了IsawitthenightthatWewentout.嗯在你威胁要杀掉我之前youknow,beforeyouthreaten
21、edtokillme.这个星球是你的家Thisplanet,it,syourhome.活生生的性命是很重要的It,slife.Itmatters.哈里知道告诉他哈里Harrygetsit.Tellhim,Harry.如果你帮我们Ifyouhelpus,阿斯塔会继续跟你约会Astawilldateyouagain.要不我们先关注地球的事呢Orwecouldjustfocusontheplanetpart.她在欲擒故纵Shesplayinghardtoget.你能行的来吧Youllgetthere.Comeon.我才不会为这些混♥蛋♥送命mnotgonnadiefort
22、hesebastards.约会吧1.etsdate.我是说开干-太好了Doit.1.etsdoit.-Yes.你一定要把缝针的发&hearts漂♥给他们Andyoushoulddefinitelysendinthatreceiptforthestitches.太晚了就一年的时效Itstoolate.Youonlyhaveayear.把时间改了Backdateit.真的吗当然Really?-Oh,yeah.你们自己解决吧llletyouguysworkthisout.他们永远都永远都不知道Theywouldnever.-Neverknow.好吧外星人绑♥架&heart
23、s;我们Fine.Aliensareabductingus?那又怎样Sowhat?说不定这是好事Youknow,maybethisisgood.好事30年来他们一直在绑♥架♥你Good?Theyvebeenkidnappingyoufor30years.总好过不知道你懂吧It,sbettertoknow,youknow?我们可以做个计划把女儿救回来Wecanmakeaplan,getourdaughterback.不需要抓狂Wedontneedtogocrazy.我们可以智取Youknow,wecanbesmartaboutit先做最重要的-你做什么呢Firstth
24、ingsfirst.-Whatareyoudoing?先用锡纸器住厉♥子屏蔽外星人信♥号♥♥Coveringthehouseintinfoil.我们需要帮助我们得Weneedhelp.Weneedto,我不清楚打给五角大楼求助什么的Idontknow,callthePentagonorsomething.不我们可以给你吉米叔叔打电♥话♥Oh,no.WecancallyourUncle)im.他在议会大楼上班HeworksattheStateHouse.他只是个保安He,sacustodian.你们干什么呢Wha
25、tareyouguysdoing?天啊Oh,God.怎么了What?没什么Nothing.我在祈祷Iwas.Iwaspraying.对一天啊Yep.-Oh,God.知道吧Okay?本你能来帮我祈祷吗Ben,canyoucomeandhelpmepray来储藏室in.inthecloset?会不会他们也绑♥架♥了麦克斯WhatiftheyreabductingMax?老天你觉得他们也绑♥架♥了麦克斯Oh,God,doyouthinktheyare?要是咱俩都被绑走过可能他也被埋了芯片Iftheyretakingbothofus,maybeh
26、ehasachiptoo.不是吧-我们得想办法Oh,no.-Wevegottofindawayto在不被发现的情况下确认一下tocheckhimwithouthimfindingout.好我记得这里Yeah,okay,Ithinktheresa.这里有个金属探测器theresameta)detectorinheresomewhere.我的天这什么味道God,whatisthatsmell?你在手工艺品网站上You.you,vebeengetting卖♥♥的蜡烛不停被退回来somecandlereturnsfromyourEtsyshop.我不知道还能放哪里好Idi.
27、Ididntknowwhereelsetoputthem.扎心了Hurtful.什么声音Whatisthat?怎么回事What,sgoingon?好了我都走到这一步了Okay,Imadeitthisfar.唯一要做的就是等待传送门打开Onlythinglefttodoiswaitfortheportaltoopen然后我想就是踏进飞船了andthen,Iguess,stepontoaspaceship.一切都如此顺理成章Verynormalthingtosay.还有我可能是疯了Also,Imightbeinsane.所以这会是我拍的最后一支录像Sothiswillbemylastvideo.最
28、重要的是在于我达西布鲁姆ThemostimportantthingisthatI,DarcyBlue,可以单枪匹马拯救世界cansingle-handedlysavetheworld.还有一件事强调再三也不为过AndIcantstressthisenough.达的D后面是小写a不是大写ItisasmallAaftertheD,notacapitalone.明白吗也就是大写D一个撇号♥Okay,soitscapitalD,apostrophe.我的天啊Holyshit你好啊宝贝儿Sohowyoudoing,sweetie?Huh?你今天过得开心吗You.youhavingagood
29、day?妈妈想死你啦Yeah?Oh,Imissedyou.来给妈咪抱抱GiveMommyahug.好吧Okay.嘿兄弟Hey,buddy.我们去搞探测活动怎么样Whatdoyousaywedosomedetector-ing?要不再去一次湖边的老人海滩Maybehittheold-personbeachatthelakeagain?可以啊Yeah.你们俩今天怎么怪怪的Whyareyouguysbeingsoweird?好吧是这样的Well,thetruthis.学校打电♥话♥来说是Theschoolcalled,and.你们班有人长虱子了andsomeoneinyo
30、urclasshaslice.所以我们得给你检查检查Sowe.wegottocheckyouout.我可不能长虱子Icanthavelice.会被起外号♥的Thatshowpeoplegetnicknames.我们现在还管威尔霍利叫比利虱呢WestillcallWillHawleyBillyBugs.要是我的话就叫他霍痒痒不过IwouldhavegonewithCrawlyHawley/but.走吧我们去浴室Yeah,comeon.1.etsgotothebathroom.我给你看看11.11checkyouout.长官听着我不想听到你说Sir.-1.ook,Idontwantt
31、ohearsearchingthiswoods在这片树林搜寻是浪费时间因为约瑟夫isawasteoftimebecauseJosephissomealien是外星人被传送上飞船了之类的话好吗whowasbeamedupontohisspaceship,okay?溪所以如果你真打算这么说Soifthatswhatyouregonnasay,那我宁愿你告诉我比如dratheryoujusttellmethat,youknow,你觉得我身上的肥皂味闻起来像清新的盆栽youthinkmy.mysoapmakesmesmelllikeafreshhouseplant或者告诉我克莱图斯的臀肌让你叹为观止o
32、r.oryoureimpressedwiththemusculatureofCletushaunches.还有第三种选择吗Isthereathirdchoice?副警长这片树林是约瑟夫离开这里的必经之路Deputy,thesewoodsareJosephsonlywayoutofhere.你看见本开车撞他有多用力了YousawhowhardBenhithim.没有人能活着逃脱的走着离开Nohumanmanwalksawayfromthat.谁说他是走着离开的Whosaidhewalked?有些人还觉得人类运输的Somepeoplethinkthemostefficientform最有效方式是滚
33、动呢ofhumantransportationisrolling.那你是有些人其中的一员吗Areyouthesomeinsomepeople?就这么说吧我五年级的时候Well,letsjustsaywhenIwasinfifthgrade,曾以40迈的速度从派克山滚下来Idid40milesperhourrollingdownPikesHill.导致现在做俯卧撑我的胳膊肘还会Myelbows,theystillsoundlikeabagofchains发出链条摩擦的声音whenIdopush-ups.那声音还不像50美分大硬币AndIainttalking50cpieces.而是像10美分小硬
34、币mtalkingdimes.走吧孩子Comeon,boy.麦克斯身上没有芯片Maxdoesnthaveachip.谢天谢地Oh,thankGod.那就好那就好Okay,okay.我们得把我们身上的芯片取出来Weneedtogetourstakenout.你说什么-哈里他不肯What?-Harrywontdoit.他说我的芯片离我的神经还是什么的太近了Hesaidmineistooclosetoanerveorsomething,但我不在乎butI.Idontcare.我们现在就得取出来Weneedtogetthesetakenoutnow.那我们的孩子怎么办Well,whataboutour
35、baby?我们会把她带回来的好吗Weregonnagetherback,okay?我们会想到办法的Weregonnafindaway.但我要确保你和麦克斯不能出意外ButIneedtomakesurethatyouandMaxaresafe.好吧Okay.会没事的Itsgonnabeokay.我们会解决这件事的Welltakecareofit.对我们会解决的Yeah,weregonnatakecareofit.我去给斯莫尔伍德医生打个电♥话♥Yeah,mgonnacallDr.Smallwood.她能做到Youknow,shecandoit.好Good.顺便问下她会
36、不会治虱子Oh,andaskherifshedoeslice.麦克斯头上全是Max,sheadisfilledwithit.等等Oh,wait.我们都不知道达西在哪里-我知道WedontevenknowwhereDarcyis.-1do.计划是这样的Hereistheplan.第一你把我们传送到One,youregoingtoportalustothetunnels黄石公园下的隧♥道♥里underneathYellowstone.第二我去阻止他们Two,1willstopthemfromusing在破火山口用外星球myalienballonthecaldera.第三
37、我们爬上那的小梯子Three,we,regonnaclimbupthislittleladder去他们放在山上那个半拖车tothissortoftrailer,sortofmobilehomething半移&hearts劫♥房♥屋的东西theygotupthere.那算是他们的大本营-好的Itsliketheirheadquarters.-Okay.那里就是飞船的入口Thatswheretheportalistothespaceship.第四我们通过传送门上飞船Four,weregonnaportalaboardtheship.第五我们把船炸了Andfive,wer
38、egonnablowitup.还有找到达西AndfindD,arcy.我们到时候看时间够不够吧Wellseehowweredoingontime.行了你不能去Allright,youarenotgoing.谢谢桥特Thankyou,Bridget.确实太危险了Itistoodangerous.管它呢我只想找到达西-不行Screwthat.IwanttofindD,arcy.-No.第六我会找到她的Six,Iwillfindher.第七你留在这点份披萨Seven,youstayhereandordersomepizza.第八不要把你的手插到胯上Eight,dontputyourhandsonyo
39、urhips还这样看着我andlookatmelikethat第九不要跟着我们Andnumbernine,donotfollowus.行吧你说得对Okay,youreright.但你们可以跟着我Youcanfollowme.混♥蛋♥Sonofabitch.我要去阻止他们把水灌满山洞mgoingtostopthemfromfillingthecavernwithwater.不行我们要爬梯子到飞船传送门No,we,reclimbingtheladdertogettotheshipportal去找达西togetD,arcy.不行不行你那草莓色头发的朋友必须要等等No,no
40、,yourstrawberry-hairedfriendhastowait.拯救地球才更重要SavingtheEarthismoreimportant.确保她别出事Makesurethatnothinghappenstoher.水上涨得很快没有多少时间了Thewaterisllingquickly.Thereisntmuchtime.准备好Getready.你把他外套都弄脏了Youaremakinghisjacketalldirty.快点我发现弗兰克那个王八蛋了Hurryup.IfoundsonofabitchFrank.传送门Oh,theportal.阿斯塔Astal快啊Comeon.打扰一
41、下Excuseme.我也不想打扰你们但我需要用下你的传送门Ihatetobotheryou,butIneedtouseyourportal.厉害厉害啊Oh,shit.Shit.你还有多余的小遥控器吗Doyouhaveanextraoneofthoselittleremotecontrolthings?他有Hehasone.现在归我啦Minenow.好我来找你了达西Okay,mcomingforyou,Darce.来吧Herewego.找到了Foundit.你能搞定这下面的事吧我能搞定Yougotthisdownhere?-1gotit你会阻止黄石公园大爆&hearts1炸♥吗Yo
42、uwillstoptheYellowstoneexplosionthing?嗯Yeah.好好好很好很好Good,good,good.Good.Good.那好你继续打你的Allright,youjustkeep.doingwhatyouredoing.也许我们一会绕回来在小屋那里见Andmaybewecirclebackatthecabinlater.我们会绕回来的Welljustcircleback.绕回来Circleback.好了Okay.走了桥特Comeon,Bridget.不是吧Oh,no.不No!阿斯塔Asta?天呐Oh,God.天呐你没事吧Oh,myGod,areyouokay?没事
43、Yeah.也不算没事No.好了我现在来陪你了好吗好Okay,well,mherenow,okay?-Yeah.Yeah.天呐你能来我好高兴Oh,God,msogladyourehere.我很担心你我也是Iwassoworriedaboutyou.-Metoo.我们会没事的我保证Weregonnabeokay,Ipromise.你们好啊Hello.你们有人见过一个女人路过这里吗Haveeitherofyouseenawomancomethroughhere?她一头黑发Shehasdarkhair.穿着牛皮外套Sheswearingacowskinjacket.你猜怎么着Youknowwhat?算
44、了Nevermind.我会找到她的Illfindher.这边Thisway.红杉Redwoods.知道吗那种树才牛呢Now,see,thatsatree.你知道它们生长的高度没有极限吗Doyouknowtheresnolimittohowtalltheycanget?靠如果我能活得够久Hell,ifIlivelongenough,我就可以顺着一棵红杉爬到外太空Icouldclimboneofthemrightintoouterspace.而且树还能生产氧气Plus,trees,theyputoutoxygen.这样我就能解决在太空中靠什么呼吸SoIgotthatwholewhattobreatheinspaceproblem这个问题rsolvedrightthere.现在听起来太空是不错Spacesoundsgoodrightnow因为没人能听到你的尖叫becausenoonecanhearyouscream.你听到了吗-嗯Y
