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1、早安Goodmorning!早安Goodmorning.早安Goodmorning.早安Goodmorning.早安Goodmorning!天才叔公还有不少小剧场现在回到第电视真人剧Andnowbacktothenumber-onerealityseriesonTV回到单身汉单身汉thesingleman.一起来看乔纳森会选谁为妻1.etsseewhoJonathanchosetobehiswife.杜克我经过深思熟虑Well,Duke,vebeengivingitalotofthought我想我的伴侣是andIthinkmgonnagowith.杰西卡Jessica.我爱你宝贝Iloveyo
2、u,babe.这部节目也太烂了Man,thisshowishorrible.不知道还有没有什么别的节目Iwonderwhatelseison.我把遥控放哪了WheredidIputtheremote?可能在沙发垫底下Maybeunderthiscouchcushion.不会吧Noway!旧一册的怪人Anoldissueofweirdman.怪人好耶我有好些年没看过这本经典了Awesome.Ihaventreadthisclassicinyears.联邦调查局总部怪人在FBl总部里WeirdmanisattheFBIheadquarters.酷我喜欢FBICool!HiketheFBI.怪人我们
3、需要你来帮忙Weirdman,weneedyourhelp逮捕这个神出鬼没的外国恐&hearts丁怖♥分♥子♥toapprehendthiselusiveforeignterrorist.我为美国服务IserveAmerica!很好我和下属们Right.Well,meandtheboys整理了这份详尽的档案havepulledupthisextensive,thoroughdossier对象是位叫皮埃尔卡芒贝尔的人onamanknownasPierreCamambert.FBI通缉皮埃尔卡芒贝尔这位法国人长♥期♥走私This
4、frenchmanhasbeenimporting各种不同的奶酪进入我国alldifferenttypesofcheeseintothestates渠道为黑市viatheblackmarket.他借非法奶酪环已经牟利上十亿Theprofitsofhisillegalcheeseringareinthebillions.黑市奶酪环单季获利73亿不仅如此Asifthatwasntbadenough他已经十多年没在美国缴税了hehasntpaidtaxesinamericaforover10years!藏身处皮埃尔今晚要去等一批大货Pierresexpectingalargeshipmentthis
5、evening.我们需要你暗中潜入当场抓获他Whatweneedyoutodoissneakinandcatchhimintheact.有了那个证据Andwiththatevidence我们就能将那个卑鄙小人驱逐出境wecanputthissleazeballawayforeternity!他的安保措施业内最强Hissecurityissomeofthebestinthebusiness.不过我们很有信心Butwereconfidentthat你专业能力够强绝对能潜进去someoneofyourexpertisecansneakthrough.我必须警告你Imustwarnyouthat皮埃尔
6、十八般武艺样样精通Pierreiswell-versedinthemartialarts.如果有必要就使出致命武器Sobepreparedtouselethalforceifyoudeemnecessary.美国就靠你了怪人Americaiscountingonyou,weirdman.你放心特隆哈克特工Dontworry,agentthornhawke.我不会让美国失望的Iwon,tletamericadown!我会把恐♥怖♥分♥子♥抓到的mgonnacatchmeaterrorist!不是奶酪小心点笨蛋Careful,youfool!
7、那奶酪存放的时间比你年纪还大Thatcheesehasbeenaginglongerthanyouhavebeenalive.等新货一到Withthislatestshipment我们获的利就要破纪录了wewillbebreakingrecordprofits.法国马上就要加冕为史上经济巨头了SOOrbFrancewillreignkingoftheeconomicgiantsofhistory!全都多亏了你舌尖上甜蜜蜜的黄金Allthankstoyou,sweet,sweetmorselsofgold.先生你好Bonjounmonsieur!怪人Weirdman.你明明去度假了啊ButIth
8、oughtyouweretakingavacation.我不度假Idonttakevacations.我接单Itakeorders.保安Security!拦下那个怪人Stopthatweirdo!你的下一趟旅程得回法国去AndyournexttripwillbebacktoFrance.不错啊怪人Tresbien,weirdman.还是见识下你打不打得过我两位朋友Butletsseeifyou,reamatchformytwofriends-飞踢还有屁♥股fihearts;kickandderriere!怪人姿势不错Awesomeweirdmanpose!想阻挠美国你表现还嫩了点
9、You,regonnahavetodobetterthanthatifyouwanttostopamerica.别嘲笑我你个怪人Donottauntme,youweirdo.你绝对会后悔想搞我皮埃尔YouwillbesorryyouevermessedwiththelikesofPierre国际奶酪之王internationalcheeseking!够了Thatdoesit你还真能让我奶酪沸腾Nowyouhavereallygotmycheeseboiling.准备臣服于王吧Preparetobowtotheking!可是什公怎么会Butwhat?!How?!其实真的很简单Ifsquitesi
10、mple,really美国就是比法国强AmericaisbetterthanFrance.看是轮陈年白切达奶酪1.ook!It,sawheelofagedwhitecheddar!在哪Where?!奶酪根本没这玩意Therewasnosuch说“起司”Saycheese!美式加工奶酪Americanprocessedcheese!恶心Disgusting!就像菲力牛排起司三明治JustlikeaPhillycheesesteaksandwich我可最会撒起司Spraycheeseismybiz好好Okay!Okay!我向你投降Isurrendertoyou!皮埃尔你做下了迫♥害&
11、hearts;美国这一错误决定Pierre,youmadethewrongdecisiontomesswithamerica现在我们把你逮了个正着andnowwevecaughtyoured-handed.你将长♥期♥因此居住出境混账Youregoingawayalongtimeforthis,punk.我们走着瞧特隆哈克特工Weshallseeaboutthat,agentthornhawke.我有外交豁免权Iretaindiplomaticimmunity不出几周我就会重出江湖andllbebackonthestreetsinamatterofweeks还要加强
12、安保让怪人都打不进来withevenbettersecuritynoteventhatweirdocanpenetrate.跟法官说去吧皮埃尔Tellittothejudge,Pierre.把他带走Takehimaway,boys.你们还没见我动真格呢Youhavenotseenthelastofme!法国终将称霸天下Francewillreignsupreme!等着瞧Youshallsee!怪人非常感谢你所做的一切Weirdman,Icantthankyouenoughforallthatyouvedone尽己所能保护伟大的祖国inserviceofthisgreatcountry.特隆哈克
13、特工俗话说得好Well,agentthornhawke,youknowwhattheysay-“要趁热打奶酪”makecheesewhilethesunshines.还是“不能忘奶负酪”来着Orisitneverbitethecheesethatfeedsyou?没事Nomatter.为美国消灭恐&hear怖♥分♥子♥Toaterrorist-freeamerica!怪起来Stayweird!本册完肚包我找到遥控器了Hey,BellyBag,Ifoundtheremote.现在可以看别的台在放什么了Nowwecanseewhat,sontheother
14、channels.好可电视哪去了Yeah,butwherestheTVnow?问得好Goodquestion.不过能看遥控器还看什么电视ButwhoneedsaTVwhenwecouldwatchtheremoteinstead?你听见了吗天才叔公Didyouhearthat,UncleGrandpa?好像是猫叫声Itsoundedlikemeowing.对可我得怎么换台Yeah.ButhowamIsupposedtochangethechannel?不是那个No,itsnotthat.是从树上传来的Itcamefromthattree.你说得对肚包Youreright,BellyBag!有只
15、猫困在树上了Theresacatstuckinourtree!必须把它救下来Wegottogetitdownfromthere.我马上去叫消防队来llcallthefiredepartmentrightnow.不行No.消防队只能到最后的紧急关头才能叫Thefiredepartmentisforalast-resortemergency.而且我们自己就能把小猫救下来了Besides,wecanrescuethislittlekittyourselves.快来小猫小猫小猫Here,kitty,kitty,kitty!我不会伤到你的mnotgonnahurtyou.我试试用激光笔把猫引出来Ican
16、tryusingalaserpointertolurethecatout.小猫猫快看这边Oh,kitty!Lookoverhere!这办法没效Somuchforthatidea.抓到了Gotcha!红点哪去了Where,dthereddotgo?专心天才叔公Focus,UncleGrandpa!啊对Oh,right.等等想到了Wait!Igotit!猫肯定会想去抓大老鼠Whatcatcanresistcatchingagiantmouse?小猫快来过来抓我啊Here,kitty!Bettercomeandgetme!小猫小猫小猫Kitty,kitty,kitty!该“鼠”Oh,rats!看来我
17、们钓鱼用错饵rIt,slikewerefishingwiththewrongbait.有了Thatsit!有什么Whatsit?鱼Fish!小猫快来Here,kitty!我们有好吃的鱼要给你吃Wehavesomeyummyfreshfishforyou!现在得叫消防队来了吧Ithinkitstimewecallthefiredepartment.喂消防队吗Hello?Firedepartment?能不能推荐一家清洁公♥司♥Canyourecommendacleaningcompany来帮忙清理水渍去除鱼腥味thatwilltakecareofwaterdamagea
18、ndafishysmell?不能吗那还是谢谢了No?Thanksanyway.那Well.看来那只猫.Iguessthatcat只能一辈子困在树上了isjustgonnastaystuckinthattreeforever.可以爬树啊Wecouldalwaysclimbupthetree.对啊Oh,yeah!坚持住小猫Hangon,kitty!我们来了Werecoming!过来小猫小Here,kitty,ki-抱歉老虎我不知道你有伴儿了Sorry,tiger.Ididntrealizeyouhadcompany.电视原来跑这边来了IguessweknowwheretheTVwentnow.对啊
19、Oh,yeah.能不能让我们加进来Wouldyouguyscareifwejoinyou?我爱看这个节目Ilovethisshow.火星土星Mars.Saturn.银河Themilkyway.天上有好多东西Somuchstuffupthere.但宇宙不仅仅只有一大堆巧克力棒Buttheuniverseismorethanjustabunchofcandybars以及倒闭的车企andfailedcarcompanies.宇宙还有数十亿多的Theuniversealsohasbillions闪闪亮亮动动点点叫做星星oftwinkly,shinyshimmiescalledstars.其中一个星星离
20、地球特别近Oneofthemissoclosetoearth每天早上都会给我们两大勺葡萄干thatitgivesustwoscoopsofraisinseverymorning.早安Goodmorning!不过我想知道星星来自何方ButwhatIwanttoknowis,wheredothesestarscomefrom为什么大多数都特别无聊andwhyaremostofthemsoboring?跟我来一起探索宇宙Comewithme,andwe,llexplorethecosmostogether.不过尽量跟上脚步因为银河很大Buttrytokeepup,causethegalaxyisso
21、big.真的超级大1.ike,reallybig.银河很大真的超级大天才叔公的个人游记这些疯狂的星星究竟来自何方So,wheredothesecrazystarscomefrom?我的科学瞎猜是有个巨大星星Myscientifichypotomusis,theresabiggiantstar会生小星星出来thatgivesbirthtoallthebabystars.这就表示我们得去找星妈Whichmeanswegottolookforthebigmamastar.我们的旅程以月球为起点Ourjourneybeginsatthemoon.我知道月球不算星星老虎Iknowthemoonisnta
22、star,tiger.我只想买♥♥吃的mjustgettingsomefood.24小时营业冷知识1.ittleknownfact月球是第一家行星快餐得来速themoonistheveryfirstplanetaryfast-fooddrive-through.因为这边总是满月Andsincethemoonisalwaysfull所以员工都是全天候狼人itsemployedentirelyby24-hourwerewolves.月球堡谢谢好心人Thankyou,kindsir.讨厌啦Aw,man.连薯条都没给Theytotallyforgotmyfries.以后再也
23、不来这边吃东西了ThatsthelasttimeIgivethemmybusiness.要寻找星妈Foroursearchofthebigmamastar就得有专门的指南we,llneedaspecializedguide.所以我才买♥♥了这张星图WhichiswhyIpickedupthismapofthestars星图从加利福尼亚好莱坞的游客商店买♥♥的fromatouristshopinHollywood,California.明星住所这玩意很没用Thisthingisveryuseless.什么Wha!黑洞Ablackhole!有
24、科学家说如果穿越黑洞Somescience-yguyssaythatifyougothroughablackhole就会反着从另一端出来youcomeoutoftheotherendcompletelybackwards.不过等我亲眼见到再说ButIllbelieveitwhenIseeit.凑近一点看看吧1.etstakeacloserlook.再说一次那只是理论Again,itsjustatheory.不耐烦r吗小妹Gettingrestless,girl?星星并不会总是这么无聊Youknow,thestarswerentalwaysthisboring.电视发明以前Beforetelev
25、isionwasinvented人们都会仰望星座进而娱乐peoplewouldlookuptotheconstellationsforentertainment.不过在你们看向我之前Butbeforeyourollyoureyesatme先来看看银河电视机在放什么letsseewhat,sontheintergalacticboobtube.烂1.ame.太暴♥力♥了Tooviolent.我并不是约翰mnotreallyJohn.我是他的双胞胎兄弟詹姆斯mhistwinbrother,James.爆米花我错过了上周放的剧集Imissedlastweeksepisod
26、e.所以说究竟是黛博拉爱上了约翰So,isDeborahinlovewithJohn还是说她知道詹姆斯是ordidsheknowJameswas抱歉Sor-ry.我不懂了Idontgetit.我们找遍了整个银河Wevesearchedtheentiregalaxy还是没找到众星之母andstillhaventfoundthecreatorofallthestars.看来这就表示Iguessthismeansthat星星只是一堆氢氮starsarejustacollectionofhydrogenandhelium让物理定律聚集在一起的产物drawntogetherbythelawsofphys
27、ics不是什么神话人andnotsomemythicalcharact就是她Ifsher!星妈在星星滑步机上健身Mamastar!Exercisingonthatstarmaster!谢天谢地Thankgoodness!本来事情还很难搞来着Thingsweregettingabitheavy-handedthereforaminute.不好意思星妈能问你小个问题吗Excuseme,mamastar,couldIaskyouaquickquestion?好好你问吧Yeah,yeah.Goforit.是你创造了银河里的所有星星吗Isittruethatyoumakeallthestarsinthe
28、galaxy?开什么玩笑Areyoukiddingme?不好意思msorry.刚刚问得不合理吗Isthatnotareasonablequestion?我都说不行了Ialreadytoldhimtheanswerisno.这星期的指标已经达成了Wefilledthisweek,squota现在他又想重新谈判我们原先的合同butnowhewantstorenegotiateouroriginalcontract?等我死了再说Overmydeadbody!懂了Isee.她在打电♥话♥Shesonherphone.先等一下费利佩Hangonasec,felipe.你谁啊干
29、什么打扰我健身Whoareyou,andwhyareyouinterruptingmyworkout?星妈好Hi,Mrs.Mamastar!我想知道星星来自何方djustliketoknowwherestarscomefrom.你打扰我健身Youinterruptmyworkout就是想知道星星来自何方吗causeyouwanttoknowwherestarscomefrom?亲爱的会让你知道星星来自何方的Oh,honey,llshowyouexactlywherestarscomefrom!太好了Oh,goody!谢谢星妈Thanks,mamastar.就是这样孩子们Thereyouhaveit,kids.事实证据Factualevidence.下周下周敬清关注Joinusnextweek太空体育我们要在别的星球跟外星人打篮球whenwellbeplayingbasketballwithabunchofaliensonadifferentplanet.等不及了Icantwait.真是太好吃了Thatwasquitedelicious.
