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1、早上好各位一些通知Goodmorning,everyone.Acoupleofannouncements.我们都知道Ron做完手术IE在康复中Asweallknow,Ronisrecoveringfromhisherniasurgery.所以我以大家的名义给他买♥♥了花SoIgothimflowersfromallofus.每个人需要出90刀Soeverybodyneedstopitchin,like,$90.90刀?$90?是的因为我订了一束美丽的水仙花Yes,becauseIorderedabeautifulbouquetofdaffodils,喝了几杯之后在一
2、个网站上订的fromawebsite,afterafewglassesofwine.所以Tom我觉得你应该也会收到水仙花So,Tom,Ithinkyoumightbegettingsomedaffodils,too.Donna肯定也有你的份Donna,youredefinitelygettingsome.Jerry我不知道我不确定让时间证明吧Jerry?Idontknow.mnotsure.Timewilltell.还有今晚我要早退Also,mleavingearlytonight以评委身份参加Pawnee选美大赛becauseIamajudgeintheMissPawneeBeautyPag
3、eant.哇哇哇你居然能在那当评委Whoa,whoa,whoa.Yougettobeajudgeinthatthing?是的这是我严肃对待的一份责任Yes,anditsaresponsibilityItakeveryseriously.但我也想当评委ButIwanttobeajudge.不敢相信你居然喜欢选美大赛Icantbelieveyoulikebeautypageants.April不管选出的Pawnee小姐是谁April,whoeverMissPawneeis,她将会代表我们镇的妇女形象isgonnabetherepresentativeofwomanhoodinourtown.作为评
4、委我向你们保证今年的Pawnee小姐Andasajudge,letmeassureyouthatthisyearsMissPawnee会是才貌双全willbechosenforhertalentandpoise.哇“才貌双全”的女孩子会去参赛啊Whoa.ThegirlsfromTalentandPoisegonnabethere?什么“才貌双全”What?-TalentandPoise.退伍军人医院旁边的脱衣舞俱乐部我在那组过局ItsthestripclubbytheVAhospital.Ihavesomemeetingsthere.太恶心了Thatsdisgusting.不太恶心了的是亮片工
5、厂No.WhatsdisgustingistheGlitterFactory.千万不要去亮片工厂DonotgototheGlitterFactory.公园与游憩公园与游憩公园与游憩第2季第3集第2季第3集嘿Hey!嘿Hey!我刚刚在磨碎咖琲店我想你可能想来杯冰摩卡So,IwasjustatTheGrindandIthoughtyoumightwantanicedmocha加上加加量生奶油withextra,extrawhippedcream.哦非常感谢你APril哇Oh,my.Thankyousomuch,April.Wow!不客气Yourewelcome.哦对了完全无关的Oh,bythewa
6、y,completelyunrelated,我刚刚报名参加了Pawnee小姐选美大赛IjustsignedupfortheMissPawneeBeautyPageant.太好了Thatswonderful.你知道这就是我想成为评委的原因Youknow,thatiswhyIdecidedtobecomeajudge.像你一样优秀的女孩子Sothatawesomegirlslikeyou,虽然不是传统意义上的好看whoarenot,youknow,classicallyhot,但能以才智和胆识获奖canberewardedfortheirintelligenceandsavvy.选美比赛都很蠢Be
7、autypageantsareidiotic.但我刚刚知道Pawnee小姐冠军有600刀的奖金ButIfoundthatthewinneroftheMissPawneepageantgets$600.我可以为了600刀愚蠢一回Icanbeidioticfor$600.所以你能给我投票吗姐妹So,areyougonnavoteforme,sister?April对你偏袒对我来说是不道德的April,itsunethicalformetoshowyoufavoritism.我们就像是家人YouandIarelikefamily.咖啡7块Thecoffeeis$7.哦对了当然Yes.Right.Of
8、course.挤掉那个小丑呗Justbumpthatclown.告诉他们已经有一个亚裔评委了TellthemtheyalreadyhaveanotherAsianjudge.太棒了非常感谢我欠你的回见Awesome.Thankyousomuch,Ioweyou.Allright.Peace.猜猜谁也能当上选美比赛的评委了Guesswho,salsogonnabeajudgeinthebeautypageant?什么怎么可能What?How?我认识个人Iknowaguy.我找几个人帮了忙Ihadtocallinafewfavors.但如果你不找人帮忙来看比基尼小姐Butifyoudontcall
9、infavorstolookatwomeninbikinis然后用数字给她们打分andassignthemnumericalgrades,你找人帮忙到底想干啥呢whatthehelldoyoucallinfavorsfor?嘿-嘿Hey.-Hey.你在这边干啥呢Whatyoudoingintheseparts?我就是来看看壁画Ijustcamebytoseethemurals.这幅很厉害啊Thisonesprettyamazing.是的这幅是个美人儿Yeah,thisonesabeauty.你知道在1880年代有几年Youknow,inthe1880s,therewereafewyears是P
10、awnee的艰难岁月thatwereprettyroughandtumbleinPawnee.这幅描绘了Bradley牧师和七个孩子的寡妇母亲AnnaBethStevenson的著名打斗ThisdepictskindofafamousfightbetweenReverendBradleyandAnnaBethStevenson,awidowedmotherofseven.原标题是激烈的拳♥交♥TheoriginaltitleofthiswasALivelyFisting.但很明显他们改了标题Butyouknow,theyhadtochangeitforobvious
11、reasons.她很会揪男人头发啊Shesgothimbythehairprettygoodthere.是啊Yeah.1.eslie是个妙人也很聪明1.esliesreallycool,andshessmart.有点咄咄逼人It,salittleintimidating.实话讲我不是来这看壁画的Totellyouthetruth,Ididntcomeheretolookatthemurals.我是来约她出去的Icametoaskheronadate.嘿LeslieHey,Leslie,我真的喜欢你Ireallylikeyou.我在想要不有时间你能一起喝咖啡或者什么的AndIwaswonderi
12、ngifmaybeyoudwanttogetacupofcoffeeorsomething,sometime.行好当然Okay,yeah,sure.是吗Yeah?是的没问题我看看我的日程Yeah.Absolutely.Letmecheckmyschedule.好Okay.我们看看1.etssee.那是那是你奶奶吗Isthatyourgrandma?哈哈是哦Yeah.那是MadeleineAlbrightThatsMadeleineAlbright.她叫这个名字吗我一般就叫“奶奶”Thatshername?CauseIusuallyjustcallmineNana.不那是MadeleineAlb
13、rightNo,thatsMadeleineAlbright.第一位女国务卿ThefirstfemaleSecretaryofState.哦所以不不是你奶奶Okay,so,not.Thatsnotyourgrandma,then.好我知道了Allright.Igotit.日程看得如何Howsthatschedulelooking?很好有几天是空的Good,acoupledaysarefree.我们就可以你知道Maybewecouldjust,youknow.日后再议？Justlockitinlater?好以后再聊Yeah.-Talklateraboutit?是个好主意-行Yeah.Thatsa
14、goodidea.-Okay.女士们好1.adies.想听条坏消息吗Youwanttohearsomethingawful?他甚至连MadeleineAlbright都不认识HedidntevenknowwhoMadeleineAlbrightwas.谁-你也不认识啊Who?-Notyou,too.MadeleineAlbright第一位女国务卿MadeleineAlbright,thefirstfemaleSecretaryofState.不不不谁不认识她No,no,no.Whodidntknow?哦Dave我见到的那个警♥察♥Oh,Dave.Thatcoptha
15、tImetIdontknow.我就是不知道约会对象能不能IjustdontknowifIcandatesomeone跟我没有共同爱好whodoesntsharemyinterests.我是说你能跟Imean,couldyoudatesomeone不喜欢接种疫苗的人约会吗whodoesntlovegivingvaccinations?我就没约过喜欢种疫苗的人veneverdatedanyonewholovesgivingvaccinations.你好-好Hey.-Hey.问个怪问题你手巧不能修东西不Weirdquestionforyou.Areyouhandy?Like,canyoufixthi
16、ngs?什公坏了-我的淋浴Well,whatsbroken?-Myshower.漏水水压小反正都是问题Itsleaky,lowpressure,justallaroundterrible.简单我下班之后过去可以吗Easy.Youwantmetocomeoverafterwork?可以可以太好了Yes.Yes.Amazing.我给你做顿便宜快速的晚餐Iwillcookyouacheap,quickdinner对我来说完全没问题thatwillbenotroubleatallforme.好那我们晚上见Great.Well,llseeyoutonight,来一场最奇怪的第二次约会fortheweir
17、destseconddateever.好吧Okay.各位评委好Hello,fellowjudges.我是LeslieKnope评委这位是我的同事TomHaverfordIamJudgeLeslieKnopeandthisismycolleague,TomHaverford.他也是评委之一He,salsogonnabeajudge.你好JeSSiCaWicks1994年Pawnee小姐HiJessicaWicks,MissPawnee1994.我马上就认出你了Irecognizedyourightaway.请允许我告诉你你现在比获奖时更漂亮了AndmayIsaythatyoulookevenmo
18、rebeautifulnowthanyoudidwhenyouwonthecrown.哦我喜欢你Ooh,Ilikeyou!大家好RayHolstead雷记三明治Hello.RayHolstead,RaysSandwichPlace.当然Ray你好吗好Yes,ofcourse,Ray.Howdoyoudo?-Fine.我是CharlesWolinermCharlesWoliner.过去30年里每一届Pawnee小姐大赛都是评委IvejudgedeveryMissPawneePageantforthelast30years.我一手培养了JessicaImadeJessica.Tom和我很高兴能来这
19、里Well,TomandIareveryhappytobehere.我很肯定在我们五个人的努力之下Andmsurebetweenthefiveofus,我们能选出最全面的wewillchoosethemostwell-rounded,智慧现代具有远见的女性intelligent,modernandforward-thinkingwoman作为我们这个好镇的代言人torepresentourfinetown.对吧TomTomRight,Tom?Tom?不相信我看着Youdontbelieveme?Watch.34C36B34B34D34C,36B,34B,34D.32A你怎么进来的32A?Mow
20、dyougetinhere?开玩笑的你们都很完美mjustkidding.Youreperfect,每一个人都是老天有眼eachandeveryoneofyou.Godbless.接下来上场的是Pawnee小姐的候选人Heretheyare,yourcandidatesforMissPawnee.我们来见见这些女孩子吧Well,letsmeetthegirls,shallwe?首先请欢迎AprilLudgateFirstup,pleasewelcomeAprilLudgate.大家好我是AprilLudgateHello,mAprilLudgate.我今年20岁m20yearsold.我喜欢人
21、Ilikepeople,地方和东西placesandthings!Pawnee是全世界我最喜欢的地方AndPawneeismyfavoriteplaceintheworld!下一位欢迎SusanGleeverNextup,pleasewelcomeSusanGleever.大家好我是Susan我在印第安纳州立大学读历史Hi,everyone.mSusan.mahistorymajoratIndianaState,我会弹古典钢琴并在儿童医院做志愿者Iplayclassicalpiano,andIvolunteerattheChildrensHospital.谢谢SusanThankyou,Sus
22、an.她很棒Shesgood.下一位TrishIanettaNext,TrishIanetta.你们好我是TriShHi,yall.mTrish.我22岁了我上过YouTubem22yearsold,vebeenonYouTube.我我喜欢和朋友出去玩喜欢笑Ijust.Ilovetohangoutwithmyfriends,Ilovetolaugh,喜欢夏日喜欢去海滩Ilovethesummertimeandgoingtothebeach,我喜欢在海滩上穿比基尼andIlovewearingbikinisatthebeach和大家一起我希望大家witheveryonethere.Ijustwa
23、nteveryone.不是所有人都能当冠军的Well,youknow,theycantallbewinners.你们玩得开心吗Areyallhavingagoodtime?看来我们出现领跑的了1.ookslikewegotafrontrunner,guys!现在是最受欢迎的才艺比赛Andnowit,stimeforoureverpopulartalentcompetition,每位佳丽会展现自己的骄人才华whereourladieswilleachdemonstratetheirexcellentskills.这是Leslie的自创记分卡包含类别有HerewehaveLesliescustom
24、scorecard,withcategoriessuchas,展示智慧“她历史”的认知presentation,intelligence,knowledgeofherstory,丰富的姿势难以言喻fruitfulgestures,jenesaisquoi,女权主义作家还有一个叫做“NaomiWolf指数的东西andsomethingcalledTheNaomiWolfFactor.第一个上场的是TrishIanetta才艺是棒舞AndourfirstoneupisTrishIanetta,whosetalentisbaton.我妹子TriSh就是有才MygirlTrishistalented.
25、她根本都没在转那个棒子Shesnoteventwirlingthebaton.我想做模仿秀mgoingtodoimpressions.哦名人模仿秀这是好的好东西Oh,celebrityimpressions.That,swild.Wildstuff.是的Yeah.这是对我妹妹的模仿Thisisanimpressionofmysister.中枢兴奋药嗨我是Natlie我喜欢利他林我很自鬼Hi,mNatalie.IloveRitalinandhavelowself-esteem.1射谢Thankyou.这是对我老板LeslieKnope的模仿Thisisanimpressionofmyboss,L
26、eslieKnope.女人半边天看看我的四色笔Womenshoulddoeverything.Checkoutmyfour-colorpen.各位仔细听我要说一些很重要的事情了Hey,everybody.ListenupwhileItalkaboutsomereallyimportantstuff.公园公园公园公园公园公园MichelleObama公园Parks,parks,parks,parks,parks,parks,MichelleObama,parks.同性恋企鹅公园糖果公园Gaypenguins,parks,sugar,parks.学得挺像她学的挺像学得Shegotme.Shegot
27、megood.Shegot.我发短♥信♥给Trish告诉她她刚刚很出色mtextingTrishtotellherhowgoodshedidearlier.不Susan不是一个完美的满分No,Susanisn,taperfect10.但在我看来Susan是Pawnee小姐的最佳人选Butinmymind,SusanistheperfectMissPawnee.她的价值观念很强对工作的责任感让人钦佩Hervaluesarestrong,hercommitmenttoherjobisveryadmirable,她有种真正的.shehasarealsenseof.嘿嘿我在
28、这儿呢Hey,hey!Overhere.里面情况如何Howsitgoinginhere?还好Good.我把你的马桶和花洒连起来了1hookedyourtoiletuptoyourshower.你是想这样吧Thatswhatyouwanted,right?是-很好Yes.-Excellent.那是Andy吗WasthatAndy?Andy?Andy?我知道你在里面我可以透过纱网看到你IknowyoureintherebecauseIcanseeyouthroughthescreen.Ann嘿怎么了你在干嘛Ann!Hey!Whatsup?Whatareyoudoing?你住在这儿吗Doyouliv
29、edownhere?什么What?什么是的What?Yes.哦天啊我的天啊你居然住在这Oh,myGod.Oh,myGod,youlivedownhere.我的天啊简直不敢相信Oh,myGod.Icantbelievethisishappening!什么啊我不能在自己家What?Icantbeatmyhouse看到我的前男友在后院一个洞里像地鼠一样住着andseemyex-boyfriendlivinginaholeinmybackyardlikeagopher.这也太奇怪了AndyThatssoweird,Andy.听着我已经很努力不去打扰你了1.isten,Ihavebeentryingre
30、allyhardnottobotheryou.就像上周你烧烤的时候1.ike,whenyouhadthatbarbecuelastweek,闻起来那么香我都没上去Ididntcomeup,eventhoughitsmelledsogood.你在这已经呆一周了Youvebeenhereawholeweek?是的只呆了一周Yes.Oneweekonly.哦我猜我猜这就是你说的那个Oh,Iguess.Iguessthatstheofficeyouweretellingmeabout每天上班的办公室吧太棒了thatyougotoworktoeveryday.Excellent.我们要说些除了我撒的谎之
31、外的事情吗1.isten.ArewegonnatalkaboutanythingotherthantheliesthatItoldyou?我现在不能处理有个人在帮我修浴室Icantdothisrightnow.Ihaveaguyfixingmybathroom.我得走了Igottogo.行啊我也得撤了Yeah,that,scool.Igottozoomout,too,待会儿有人要来causeIhavesomepeoplecomingover.所以你下次先打电♥话♥呗So,whydontyoucallfirstnexttime?你知道路Youknowthewayout
32、.好的现在是紧张的问答时间Allright,itstimenowforthedreadedQ&A.第一个问题给TomHaverfordAndthefirstquestiongoestoTomHaverford.是的我想问性感的那个Yes,Ihaveaquestionforthehotone.首先我只想说我很惊讶FirstOffIjustwanttosaymalittlebitsurprised,我不相信天使能飞得这么低becauseIdidntthinkangelscouldflysolow.111射谢Thankyou.你确实是一位美丽的美丽的女人Youtrulyareabeautiful,b
33、eautifulwoman.你很逗哦Youresofunny.你也很逗你也很逗Yourefunny.Yourefunny.你有问题吗TomDoyouhaveaquestion,Tom?好吧我有个真正的问题你不介意的话TomOkay,Ihavearealquestion,ifyoudontmind,Tom.TrishAlexisdeTocqueviIle称美国是伟大的实验”Trish,AlexisdeTocquevillecalledAmericaTheGreatExperiment.我们作为公民能如何为这个实验做贡献呢Whatcanwedoascitizenstoimproveonthatex
34、periment?美国国歌♥歌♥词我认为美国是自♥由♥的国度Well,uh,IthinkthatAmericaisthelandofthefree,这是很好的事情whichisawonderfulthing,美国国歌♥歌♥词也是勇士的国度是人们生活的地方andalsothebrave,wherepeoplecanlive,没有人能把这些夺走永不放弃andnoonecanevertakethatawayfromyouanditnevergivesup.但移♥民♥的高出生率吓到我了But
35、thehighbirthingrateOfimmigrantsfrightensme.不想冒犯任何人Nooffensetoanyoneoutthere,但如果是我和我的家人决定butifitwereuptomeandmyfamily,我想把它叫做“我们的美国”IwouldactuallycallitOur-merica,而不是”他们的美国”谢谢andnot,Their-merica.Thankyou.别鼓掌不她没Dontapplaudthat.No,shedidnt.她没回答我的问题Shedidntanswermyquestion.抱歉你不觉得msorry,youdontthinkitswei
36、rd我前男友住在我房♥子外面大坑里的一个帐篷里很奇怪吗thatmyex-boyfriendlivesinatentinthepitoutsidemyhouse?这不是理想状况Itsnot.ideal.可能你需要放松一点Maybeyoushouldtrytorelax.要不吃一片MaybetakeoneofthoseAtivans我在药柜里看到的安&hearts淀♥片♥吧Isawinthemedicinecabinet.别闹-是的我偷看了Dude!-Yeah,Ipeeked.我也没看到牙膏你是不用牙膏吗Ialsodidn,tseeanytoothpast
37、e.Doyounotusetoothpaste?我一直知道他懒Imean,1alwaysknewhewaslazy,但是这次真的懒出了新高度butthisis,like,anewlowforhim.我觉得我们该请他进来Ifeellikeweshouldinvitehiminside.我刚刚说的话你一句没听吗HaveyounotbeenlisteningtoanythingIjustsaid?我不知道但是外面在下雨Idontknow,itsjust.Ifsrainingoutside,他又住在一个坑里andheslivinginapit,youknow?好了朋友们再过几位参赛者Okay,folk
38、s,justacouplemorecontestants,评委们就要决定andthenthejudgeswilldecide下一位Pawnee小姐获奖者奖品是ournextMissPawnee,awinnerof$600ingiftcertificatesBigArchie体育用品和Emerson栅栏公♥司♥的600刀礼券toBigArchie,sSportingGoodsandEmersonFencingCompany.什么不是现金这是给栅栏用的What?Wedontgetcash?Thisisforafence?当然不够整个栅栏的费用Well,itwontcov
39、erawholefence.但是能抵掉相当一部分花费Butitwilldefraythecostconsiderably!哦我的天啊Oh,myGod.我退赛我退赛Iquit.Iquit.好吧我看她是真的退赛了Okay,Iguessshereallyisquitting.不我没赢No,Ididntwin.但至少我也没交到新朋友ButatleastIdidntmakeanynewfriendships.所以我们要假装讨论多久So,howlongdoWehavetopretendtodeliberate才能出去啊untilwegobackoutthere?什么意思啊你Whatdoyoumean?我们
40、都同意吧那个美女压倒性胜出Wereallinagreement.Thehotone,byalandslide.她的名字是TrishWell,hernameisTrish.我觉得我们不能太着急了吧AndIdontthinkweshouldrushthis,youknow?有什么好讨论的呢我觉得Trish太可爱广Whatistheretotalkabout?Imean,IthoughtTrishwasjustadorable.比如Susan我觉得Well,takeSusan,forexample.Ithink.无聊故事Susan吗不行就是TriSh了我们回去吧SusanBoringStories?
41、No.It,sTrish.Letsgobackoutthere.等等各位等等各位等等等等等等Okay,holdon,everyone.Holdon.Everyone,wait,wait,wait.听着不管我们选谁1.ook,whoeverwechoose都会是接下来一年的理想女性形象isgoingtorepresenttheidealwomanforayear.她会成为印第安纳中南部小女孩敬仰的对象ShellbesomeonethatlittlegirlsinSouthCentralIndianalookupto.除非我们讨论所有人不然谁也不能走好吗Now,nobodyleavesthisro
42、omuntilwediscussallofit.Okay?就当你们被扣押了Consideryourselvessequestered.我是个评委我不想偏袒谁majudge,soIdontwanttosoundpartial.但TriSh要赢的话除非杀了我ButTrishwillwinthispageantovermydeadbody.看我是这里唯一一位1.ook,Iamtheonlyonehere参加过还赢得了这个比赛的人whohasenteredandwonthiscontestinthepast.我觉得Trish就是无脑赢And1thinkTrishisano-brainer.Jessic
43、a请问你当时的才艺是什么Jessica,mayIask,whatwasyourtalent?哦我整理了一个手提箱Oh,Ipackedasuitcase.我想说Leslie确实说得有道理Ihavetosay,Lesliedoesmakeagoodpoint.Trish不是这群人里最有亮点的Trishisnotthebrightestbulbinthebunch.说的是Ray我喜欢你说的我们继续Yes,Ray.Good,Ilikewhatyouresaying.Letskeeptalking.站在那别滴得到处都是Juststandoverthereanddontdriponanything.Mar
44、k是那个来“修你浴室”的人哦IsMarktheguywhosfixingyourshower?我不知道你啊Mark不过我看过不少毛♥片♥了Idontknowaboutyou,Mark,butveseenatonofporn.我可知道“修浴室”是什么意思AndIknowwhatfixingyourshowermeans.Andy-抱歉你们在约会没事Andy.-Sorry,youguysareonadate.Thatscool.Andy?Andy?不没事的No,itsallright.别让我打扰你们约会Dontletmeinterruptyourdate.继续吃Keep
45、eating.我已经吃了我超饱我不我啥也不吃Ialreadyate.msuperfull.Idont.Idontwantany.好吧TriSh还是3-2Okay,so,itsstill3-2forTrish.各位我只求你们面对自己的良心Guys,allIaskisthatyoulookintoyourhearts,想想好好想想你们今天看到的andthink,reallythink,aboutwhatyouveseen然后问自己andaskyourselves,今晚谁让你印象最深Whoisthemostimpressivewomanheretonight?就是最漂亮那个TrishIanettaItsthehotone.TrishIanetta!这些也太棒了你Theseareamazing.Doyou.你在里面放了辣酱还是什么吗Doyouputalittlehotsauceontheseo
