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1、这么快就回来了Backsosoon?天才叔公天才叔公竞选总统长毛拉里垃圾场温度调rNo,hot!温度调低No,cold!温度调高No,hot!温度调低No,cold!调高Hotter!放凉的披萨没人爱吃Noonelikescoldpizza!调温器调低才好Coldisbetter!温度高比低烂HoCsworsethancold.你们能不能别闹了Willyouguyscutitout?!卷星期都得吵个鸡毛蒜皮的事Everyweekwearearguingoversomething.今天吵露营车的空调温度Today,itsthetemperatureintheRV.周五吵谁没掀开马桶圈Friday
2、,itwaswholeftthetoiletseatdown.还有整个七月AndwespentthewholemonthofJuly都在大马路上inthemiddleofthestreet吵要怎么把爆胎换掉arguingabouthowtochangetheflattires就这样我们才被拖到这座垃圾场里whichiswhywegotourselvestowedtothisjunkyard!只要我们能求同存异1believethatifweputasideourdifferences就能和和气气wecanallgetalong在露营车的屋檐下和谐共处andliveinharmonyundert
3、hisRVroof.我们需要有人来启发我们Weneedsomeonetoinspireus需要有人把我们带向一片光明的未来someonetoguideusintoabrighterfuture.我们需要Whatweneedisa.总统President!独♥裁♥者Dictator!没错天才叔公Thatsright,UncleGrandpa.我们需要的正是总统Apresidentiswhatweneed.只要露营车上有领袖WithaleaderoftheRV就能找到能代表我们全体意志的人wecanfindsomeonewhowillrepresentallourbel
4、iefs.在传统的民♥主♥国家Inatraditionaldemocracy要先当上候选人yourunasacandidate以理想为纲领拉票campaignonaplatformofideals周末得到票数最多者当选andwhoevergetsthemostvotesattheendoftheweekwins!没错肚包Thatsright,BellyBag现在得找找候选人的人选andnowwejusthavetofindoursetofcandidates.我个人觉得Ipersonallyjustdontthink自己领导能力不足mcutoutforleaders
5、hip,youknow.不过你们肯定更适合当候选人Butmsureanyofyouwouldbeaworthycandidate.我不是很喜欢政♥治♥Idontreallylikepolitics.万能博士我这应该是大材小用Ibelievemoverqualified.那看来就只剩下Well,Iguessthatjustleaves天才叔公和披萨史蒂夫UncleGrandpaandPizzaSteve.他们哪去了Wheredtheygo?早安Goodmorning!投给叔公投给我叔公Voteforme!U.G.!女士们先生们1.adiesandgentlemen隆重
6、介绍露营车下一任总统presentingthenextpresidentoftheRV!披萨史蒂夫PizzaSteve!准备好投给披萨史蒂夫了吗YallreadytovoteforPizzaSteve?!相信史蒂夫BelieveinSteve你们要的他都会给Hegivesyouthingsthatyouwanttoreceive投投投给披萨史蒂夫Vote,vote,voteforPizzaSteve谁稀罕那个废物叔公WhoevencaresaboutthatloserUncleG谢谢大家谢谢你们Ithankyou!Thankyou!投给披萨史蒂夫VoteforPizzaSteve!真是太酷了T
7、hatwassupercool!太神了Amazing!大家好Hi我是人形台灯克里斯平马尔卡希mmanlamp,CrispinMulcahy欢迎收看露营车大选andwelcometoR.V.Election/露营车大选报道竞选消息wherewecoveralltheelectionnews.四分钟前Fourminutesago天才叔公未能赢得民众支持UncleGrandpafailedtowinoverthecrowd因其单人乐队质量堪忧withhislacklusterone-manband.但他的对手披萨史蒂夫Hisopponent.PizzaSteve,however借烟火表演让大众惊叹不
8、已surprisedeveryonewithapyrotechnicshow其中还有一场酷炫鼓独奏includingakillerdrumsolo.民调结果如图所示Aswecanseehere披萨史蒂夫在露营车民调领先PizzaSteveisleadingthepollsintheRV.如果继续这样下去Ifhekeepsthisup他必胜无疑hisvictorywillbeasurething.但还留下一个问题Thequestionremains天才叔公是否还能逆袭canUncleGrandpamakeacomeback一转巨烂自我介绍带来的局势afterhisultra-lameintrod
9、uction?好了各位Allright,guys.希望大家都留了胃口吃午饭Ihopeyouworkedupanappetiteforlunch!大家好Hey,guys.午餐我请客1.unchisonme!免费热狗人人有份Freehotdogsforeveryone!没错Thatsright!投给天才叔公VoteforUncleGrandpa每天都有免费美味热狗午餐吃andyoucancountonfree,delicioushotdoglunchesdaily!你猜怎么着Andguesswhat?我还额外附赠芥末酱llthrowinthemustard,aswell.不额外收费Noextrac
10、harge.投给叔公刚刚收到的消息Thelatestnewsisin.天才叔公借免费热狗午餐赢得了支持Afterwinningoverthecrowdwithhispromiseoffreehotdoglunches令其露营车民调支持率暴涨UncleGrandpahastheboostheneedstoplacehimaheadintheofficialRVpoll.我预测天才叔公将取得压倒性胜利1predictalandslidevictoryforUncleGrandpa披萨史蒂夫则亟需逆袭ifPizzaStevedoesntmakeaseriouscomeback.我这就回应你Igota
11、comebackforyou!真诚Real,honestvalues.一片披萨身着无人在乎的毛衣Asliceofpizzainasweaterwhocares.大家好我叫披萨史蒂夫Hi.MynameisPizzaSteve.想必大家本次大选都得做出重大决定Iknowyouhavesomebigdecisionstomakeduringthiselection.但是做出决定是难事But,decisionsarehard!但是那是你们的自♥由♥But,thatsfreedomforyou.自♥由♥是难事Freedomishard.而我想要大家
12、的生活不再是难事Iwanttomakeyourlifeeasier.所以别管什么自♥由♥了So,forgetallthatfreedomnonsense让我来替大家做决定andletmedothedecidingforyou.简单Simple.把选票给我Yougivemeyourvote我就让你们静心and,1Igiveyoupeaceofmind.总统让披萨史蒂夫当选独&hearts滋♥者我问忌Iagree.我同意Iagree!感觉样子还行Ithinkthatlookedgreat.投给披萨史蒂夫选总统谢谢你的支持Thankyouforyoursup
13、port.感谢你支持Thanksforyoursupport.感谢你支持Thanksforyoursupport.朋友们好Hello,myfriends.我会来这是想说明mheretotalkabout我们绿派有多需要团结在一起howwegreenpeopleneedtosticktogether.让叔公当总统披萨史蒂夫最强任务完成Missionaccomplished.让披萨史蒂夫当总统欢迎收看今晚的总统选举辩论Welcometotonightspresidentialdebate双方分别是现任总统天才叔公betweentheincumbent,UncleGrandpa.早安Goodmorn
14、ing.好Yes.以及他的对手.andhischallenger,uh披萨史蒂夫PizzaSteve?没错就在这Yep.Righthere.能不能给披萨史蒂夫来张高脚凳CanwegetPizzaSteveastoolorsomething?天才叔公先生请你开场白Mr.UncleGrandpa,youropeningstatement.高脚凳Stool.好吧All.right.披萨史蒂夫请你开场白And,PizzaSteve,youropeningstatement?我是披萨史蒂夫我可以当选mPizzaSteve,andmawinner.我的对手是个无关紧要的小丑Myopponentisanir
15、relevantclown毫无公信力withzerocredibility-彻底的废物atotalloser.脏鸟一只Dirtybird.披萨史蒂夫PizzaSteve露营车破败不堪theRVisinneedofseriousrepair.而且债台高筑Butit,salsodeepindebt你有解决计划吗Doyouhaveaplantodealwiththesituation?两个字克里斯平Twowords,Crispin-是胶带ducttape,bro.胶带修万物Youcouldfixanythingwiththisstuff.我同意Iconcur.我都不知道Ididnotknowthat
16、.天才叔公你的抗辩是UncleGrandpa,yourrebuttal?天才叔公UncleGrandpa?恐怕你得说大声点天才叔公mafraidyoullhavetospeakup,UncleGrandpa.我说“就是胶带”Isaidthatducttape,bro有三个字不是两个isthreewords,nottwo!确实Indeed.那你会怎么改善露营车的现状WhatthenwouldyoudotoimprovethestateoftheRV?克里斯平Well,Crispin.虽然现状不容乐观.eventhoughthingslookbleak但我坚信但只要求同存异Ibelieve,ifw
17、eallputasideourdifferencesandfindwhatunitesus就能让露营车再次伟大WecanmaketheRVgreatagain超越以往betterthaniteverwas.可以装一台煎饼机Wecouldputinapancakemachine.可以在五楼吃冰淇淋Wecouldhaveicecreamonthefifthfloor在八楼吃咸味零食saltysnacksontheeighth.那你要从哪搞到钱Justwhereareyougonnagetthech-iz-ashmoney让天上掉馅饼呢topayforallthispieinthesky?很高兴你问
18、了便便史蒂夫mgladyouasked,Poo-PooSteve!搞的就是存钱罐里存的钱Welljustusethemoneythataccumulatesinthechangejar!你的政纲全是漏洞Yourplatformisfullofholes.能否详细说明披萨史蒂夫Wouldyoumindelaboratingonthat.PizzaSteve?听好底线就在于我认为1.ook,thebottomlineisthatIbelieve民众应当有权thatpeopleshouldhavetheright依照我的意愿潦倒过日子toliveinsqualorifIwantthemto.干嘛要买
19、♥♥新刹车或者汽油这种破东西Imean,whyshouldIhavetopayfordumbthingslikenewbrakesorgasoline?我要想花光钱IfIwanttospendallthemoneyon,say给自己买♥♥卷饼比尔大块头卷饼的话aBurritoBillsMachoMuchachoBurritoformyself那就一定可以花thenIshouldbeableto.太扯淡了Thatsridiculous!说实话太好吃了Actually,it,sdelicious.而且简明扼要地说明了Anditquitesim
20、plydemonstrates下滴经济学的原则theprincipleofdribble-downeconomics.下滴经济学：改自“下渗经济学”指给富人减税将有利经济增长请大家想象一下Imagine,ifyouwill这位笨蛋队长就是你们全体土包子CaptainFoolhereisallofyoupeasants.我是大权贵SoI,theawesomebigshot咬了一口让人垂涎三尺的卷饼takeabiteofthismouth-wateringburrito.只要有披萨史蒂夫的卜滴规划WithPizzaStevesdribble-downplan大家都是赢家everyonewins.够
21、了你这疯子Thatsit,youmaniac!下台去吧Youregoingdown!大家Guys.情况不妙Thisdoesn,tlookgood!出了个问题Guys,wegotaproblem.接招Takethat!吃我这招Havesomeofthis!车辆粉碎机情况一点都不妙Guys,thisisn,tgoodatall.让披萨史蒂夫当总统PizzaSteveforpresident!我当总统mPresident!看样子我们就快进入1.ookslikeweareheadedstraightforthe.车辆压碎机carcrusher?!一定要快开走Gottodriveusoutofhere,
22、stat!钥匙断了Thekeybroke!没法挽救露营车了ItsnousesavingtheRV.必须逃出去Wegotbailout!我们就快被车辆压碎机压碎了Guys,wereabouttobecrushedbythecarcrusher.趁还没变破铜烂铁必须想办法自救Wegottodosomethingbeforeweturnintoscrapmetal!一定要救救我们Yougottohelpus!可是竞选Buttheelection!没时间竞选了Wedonthavetimeforanelection!虽然我没法替对手说好话Well,Ican,tspeakformyopponent但史蒂维
23、想当总统butSteviewannabepres所以史蒂维要奋战到最后soSteviesstayinginthefighttillthebitterend,bro.快做点什么Pleasedosomething.我就是总统mPresident!我Me!露营车没我当总统就完蛋了TheRVwouldbenothingwithoutmeforpresident!披萨史蒂夫PizzaSteve!现在是露营车大选特别报道Andnow,anRVElectionspecialreport.天才叔公在千钧一发之际Inalast-minutedecision决定要退出竞选UncleGrandpadecidedto
24、pulloutoftherace.天才叔公请说说为什么要选择UncleGrandpa,pleasetelluswhyyoumadethischoice放弃竞选露营车总统呢toforegobeingapossiblepresidentoftheRV.克里斯平我决定要珍视友情Well,Crispin,IdecidedIvaluemyfriendship陪伴我背后这一群好朋友withthisgreatgroupofpalsbehindme拒绝在政♥治♥k当没意义的傀儡morethansomepointlesspuppetjobinpolitics.就是这样友情高于政&he
25、arts;治♥Thereyouhaveitfriendsoverpolitics.现在采访露营车的新任领袖AndnowawordwiththeRVsnewleader披萨史蒂夫总统PresidentPizzaSteve.克里斯平我一开始就知道Well,Crispin,Iknewfromthestart披萨史蒂夫总统会当选thatPresidentPizzaStevewasgoingtowin因为强者必胜输家必败becausethebestalwayswinsandlosersalwayslose.没错Thatsright.披萨史蒂夫总统最强PresidentPizzaStevei
26、sthebest.披萨史蒂夫总统最强PresidentPizzaSteveisthebest,这个说法可能会有争议astatementthatmightbedebatable.但在政♥治♥界Butintheworldofpolitics.谁在乎呢.whoreallycares?我是克里斯平马尔旨希播送完毕mCrispinMulcahy,signingoff.下次再会别忘了Seeyounexttime,and,remember自&hearts油♥之风将吹拂下去thewindsoffreedomwillblow只要天空依然蔚蓝aslongastheskyisblue我的谎言依然真实andmyliesaretrue.真是太好吃了Thatwasquitedelicious.
