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1、地狱客栈第一季第六集好了我准备了天热和天凉时穿的衣服Okay.Ihavemywarmweatherclothesandmycoldweatherclothes.我准备了一件轻便外套一件防弹衣和一件雨衣Ihavealightjacket,flakjacketandrainjacket.等等天堂下雨吗Wait.DoesitraininHeaven?夏莉你只是去天堂待几个小时而已Charlie,youreonlygoingtoHeavenforafewhours.维姬是“我们”只是去天堂待一天Vaggie,WeareonlygoingtoHeavenforaday.但我想做好充分准备AndIjust
2、wanttobeprepared!这是我们让天堂相信灵魂可以被救赎的最后机会ItsourlastchancetoconvinceHeavenasoulcanberedeemed.是呀我也希望我能去亲爱的但我已经有安排了Yeah,IwishIcouldcome,sweetie,butIhavethatthing.什么安排-就是和那个.Whatthing?-Thethingwiththe.thing,um,可恶我真不会说谎fuck,gah,msuchabadliar.维姬你是我的伴侣Vaggie,youremypartner.我需要你跟我一起去Ineedyoutherewithme.好吧Fine.
3、太好了Yes!可恶Oh,fuck.你看上去很糟Youlookmessy!你怎么了-该说是谁怎么我了Whathappenedtoyou?Itswhohappenedtome.答案是“所有人”Andtheansweriseveryone.“两次”Twice!瓦尔时兴起让我连续工作了16个小时Valhadmeworking16hoursstraightonafuckingwhim.绝对是个混♥蛋♥Theabsolutedickbag.那堵墙是什么情况Arghh!Whatthefuckiswiththatwall?你们好吗贱♥人♥们Whatup,
4、hoes!天啊是车厘炸♥弹♥Ho-Holyshit,CherriBomb?好久不见了宝贝1.ongtimenosee,baby!安吉尔你个小贱♥人♥Angie,yabitch!你给我发了一整天充满抑郁的短♥信♥Youbeentextingmedepressingshitallday,我想着我们可以再一起放纵一下figuredwecouldtearshituplikeoldtimes.我们已经很久没那样了It,sbeenfuckinforever!来拿着这个Hereholdthis.老天妈呀Ah!OhmyGod,
5、ohmyGod.不把那个给我Nope,gimmethat.车屋见到你我很高兴但我累坏了IloveseeingyaCherri,butmtootired.需要睡一觉Ineedtopassout.等你地狱里的命也没了的时候再睡也不迟笨蛋Oho,youcansleepwhenyou,redoubledead,fuckhead!来吧你真正需要的是充电重振以及Comeon,whatyoureallyneedisarecharge,areinvigoration,are-去镇上过一个负责任的夜晚Responsiblenightonthetown!真是个好主意Thatisagreatidea.你好我叫夏莉H
6、i,Charlie.你刚刚炸毁的就是我的墙Thatsmywallthatyoujustblewup.很高兴能认识安吉尔的朋友ItssonicetomeetoneofAngesfriends.他从不带任何人过来Aagh,heneverbringsanyonearound!很想知道为什么Wonderwhy?我也想Yeah,metoo.总之安吉尔和他们每个人最近都很努力Anyway,Angelandeveryoneelsehavebeenworkingsohard.我觉得出去开心一下是他们应得的Ithinktheydeservetohavealittlefun.等等“他们”W-w-wait,they
7、?是的嗨各位Yeah.Hi,everyone!安吉尔和他的朋友要带你们出去Angelandhisfriendaretakingyouallout过一个充满乐趣与放松的夜晚foranightoffunandrelaxation!等等我来只是找安.Wait,IamonlyhereforAng.当我没说我们走吧Oohlnevermind.Letsgo!要确保他们度过最美好的时光哦Makesuretheyhavethebesttimetonight.对了通往天堂的传送门应该马上就要开了AnywaytheportaltoHeavenshouldbeopeningrightabout.now!回头见Bye
8、!这不是我的宿敌嘛Well,ifitisntmyarch-nemesis!你是来接受战死的命运的吗车厘炸♥弹♥Haveyoucometomeetyourfateinbattle,CherriBomb?那还用说Apparently,我要跟安吉尔一起出去还得带上你们这帮可怜虫mgoingoutwithAngelandIgottodragyoursorryassesalong.你和我.要出去Oh,oh,youandmearegoingoutback去享乐吗forfun?这我可从来没料到过I,Ididn,tthinkthiswouldeverhappen.我我该怎么办Wha
9、t?WhatdoIdo?我我该穿什么WhatdoIwear?别他妈碰我你个反常的笨蛋Dontfuckingtouchme,youmunteddickhead!维姬看看这个地方呀Vaggie,lookatthisplace.好干净Itssooooclean!很神奇不是吗Isn,tthatamazing?没错超酷Yep.Supercool.天堂哇Heaven.Wow.你们好Hiya!欢迎来到天堂WelcometoHeaven.能请通报一下名字吗CanIgetyourname,please?夏莉晨星Uhhh,uh,uh,CharlieMorningstar!“夏莉晨星”好的CharlieMornin
10、gstar.Hmm.夏莉晨德夏莉晨科夏莉晨餐我的名单上没有你的名字真奇怪mnotseeingyouonmylisthere.Thafssoodd.会议是我爸替我安排的Uh,um,myDadgotmethismeeting,somaybe-你♥爸♥爸好的要不找找“路西法晨星”Oh,Dad!Okay!TryLuciferMorning.star.见鬼是的Oh,fuck!Yeah.哎呀我没看错吧Hoooo,hehehe.Yikes.AmIright?你确定是要来这里吗或许你走错地方了Areyousureyoureintherightplace?BecauseIthinky
11、oumightbealittlelost.就知道会有麻烦Oh,herewego.不我们是来这里开会的No,uh.were,we,rehereforameeting.圣彼得SaintPeter.把她们交给我们就行了Wecantakeitfromhere.你好晨星的女儿我叫昔拉天堂的至尊六翼天使Greetings,daughteroftheMorningstar.IamSera,theHighSeraphimofHeaven.你能来到这里是一种福气Youaregiftedtobehere.你好我叫艾米丽是另一个六翼天使Hi,mEmily,theotherSeraphim.不过你可以叫我艾姆”Tho
12、ughyoucancallmeEm!“艾米”“小艾”随你怎么叫我都可以Emmy,E,whateveryouwant.Igobywhatever.欢迎来到天堂WelcometoHeaven.亲爱的我很荣幸地对你们说Dearlybeloved,itismypleasuretosayuntothee.欢迎来到天堂?WelcometoHeaven?有德者全天候居住的地方?Oh-oh,wherethevirtuousreside?24/7oh-oh?人们很高兴自己已把命丧?Peoplearehappythattheydied?因为这里没有烦恼盗窃或冲撞?Causeherewegotnoworries,g
13、otnoburglaries?这里是来世完美的地方?Nostrife?Ifstheperfectafterlife?欢迎来到天堂?WelcometoHeavenoh-oh?看看我们绚丽的装潢能让精神激荡?Checkoutoursickdecor?Thespiritsleaven,oh?请勿将硫磺石放在地上?Pleasekeepyourbrimstoneoffthefloor?这里的人最优秀最有礼有最高智商?We,vegotthebestandbrightest?Thepolitestofthelot?而且大家都很时尚?Andeveryoneishot!?天哪真的很高兴能带外人参观游赏?Gosh
14、,msopleasedtoshowsomeoutsidersaround?看了我们的境域你会永远不想返乡?Afteryouseeourrealm?Youllneverwanttogobackdown?当然你只是暂时来访抱歉你不能留在这地方?Ofcourseitisjusttemporary?msorryyoucantstay?因为每一天在天堂都会快乐荡漾?CauseeverysingledayinHeavenisahappyday?欢迎来到天堂?WelcometoHeaven?耶7Yeah!?我的老天爷啊我没看错吧Holyfuckingshitballs.AmIseeingwhoIthinkm
15、seeing?她来这里做什么Whatisshedoinghere?她是怎么到天上来的Howdidsheevengetuphere?谁在平啊我现在就去教训她Whocares?mhandlingthisshitrightnow.等一下你想在长廊上当着所有人的面打架Wait,youwanttostartafightonthepromenadeinfrontofeveryone?胜过等到大灭绝那一天Betterthanwaitingforthefuckingextermination.老大至尊六翼天使定下的唯一规矩是什么Sir,whatwastheSeraphim,sonerule?“除了驱魔天使谁都
16、不能知道大灭绝的事”Uuuuuugh,noonebuttheexorcistscanknowaboutexterminations我知道好吧Iknow,fine.别他妈“嘘”我Dontfuckingshushme,bitch.亚当你的副官说得没错Youshouldlistentoyourlieutenant.Adam.见鬼昔拉你不能这样偷偷接近别人Fuck,Sera!Youcan,tsneakuponaguylikethat.Jeez.至尊大人请你原谅但地狱之主的后裔来这里干吗YourHighness,forgiveme,butwhatarethehell-spawndoinghere?你们没
17、能控制住恶魔的骚动所以现在路西法插了手Well,youfailedtocontrolthedemonsunrestandnowLuciferisinvolved,为他被误导的女儿安排了一场听证会settingupanaudienceforhismisguideddaughter.早知道你会把麻烦带到天堂来Ineverwouldhaveagreedtoyour.我当初绝不会同意你每年干的那件事yearlyactivitiesifIthoughtitwouldbringtroubletoourdoorstep.我允许你那么做的唯一理由是确保天堂的安全KeepingHeavensafewasmyon
18、lyreasonforallowingit.你想让我怎么办我只身一人力薄势单啊Whatdoyouwantfromme?mjustoneguy.我要你尽一切所能Iwantyoutodowhateveryouneedtodo防止这个问题恶化tokeepthisproblemfromgettinganyworse.清楚了吗Areweclear?是的清楚了Yeah.Gotit.好吧我很喜欢天堂Okay.IloveHeaven.维姬你看到那家冰淇淋店了吗那里的糖碎是用彩虹做的Vaggiedidyouseetheicecreamshop?Theyhadsprinklesmadeofrainbows!那些只
19、是七彩糖碎而已Thosearejustrainbowsprinkles.艾米丽要带我去一家全都是软软的动物的动物园Emily1Sgoingtotakemetoazoowherealltheanimalsareactuallysoft!你一起来吗-我要休息不过替我抱一下考拉Youcoming?Uh,Ineedabreak.Buthugakoalaforme.我的天啊你能想象抱一只真正的考拉吗O.M.G.Canyouimagineanactualkoala?回头见Ahhh,seeyoulater.你好啊喂鸡龙HeythereVag-asaurus!夏莉很快就会回来Charliewillbeback
20、soon.你得马上离开Youneedtogetoutnow.我不是来找那金发女郎的宝贝我是来找你的mnotlookingfortheblonde,babe.mlookingforyou.为什么或许是因为你离开了乐队Why?Maybebecauseyoulefttheband.想搞单飞Youtriedforasolocareer.或者更像是二重唱OrIguessitsmoreofa.duet!我不明白你什么意思Idontknowwhatyouretalkingabout.你真以为你没穿制♥服♥我就认不出DoyoureallythinkIwouldntrecognize
21、oneofmytopgirls我手下的爱将之一了吗justcauseyoureoutofuniform?你当时在第一线Youwereonthefrontlines.我是不会忘记像你这么凶悍的女人的Iwouldntforgetabadbitchlikeyou.所以我才给你取了最棒的名字“喂鸡鸡”It,swhy1namedyouafterthebestthingever.Vaggie.事实上发音应该是“维姬”Actually,it,spronouncedVaggie.不是的Mmmmmno!总之你当时搞砸r不是吗Anyway,yousurefuckedup,didntyou?走吧快跑Go,run.N
22、ow!像你这样罪恶的污秽不配待在天堂里SinfulfilthlikeyouhasnoplaceinHeaven.地狱像你这样没用的人居然泡到了莉莉丝生的小辣妹TothinksomeoneasworthlessasyoulandedLilithslittlehottie.我该向你表示祝贺吧,Gratsonthat,Iguess.她们的爱是邪恶的亵渎神明Theirloveisvileandblasphemous.不过很撩人Hotasfuckthough.但我很想知道等你那小贱♥货♥发现ButIwonderwhatyourbitchwouldthinkifshefound
23、out你其实是我们的一员时她会怎么想youareactuallyoneofus.你想怎样Whatdoyouwant?很简单再次替我效命然后在听证会上Simple.Youworkformeagainandatthehearingyou,regoing帮我的忙tohelpme让这幼稚又不切实际的事彻底没戏shutthiskindergartensnowflakebullshitdownforgood.绝不Never.好吧那也没问题Oh,yeahYouknow,thatstotallycool.那我就告诉乐观小姐Iguesslljusttelllittlemissbutterfliesandrain
24、bows她在跟一个杀害了她数千臣民的人上.♥床♥thatshesbeenfuckingsomeonewho,skilledthousandsofherpeople.我相信这不会影响你们的关系的msureyourrelationshipwillbefine.我们法庭见Seeyouincourt!哦不怎么又是他Ohno,nothimagain!你好吗宝贝Whatup,baby?看来你去找我上级告状了这招真损啊小白妞Sawthatyouwenttomymanager.LowblowKaren.今天我们聚集在这里是为了确认地狱U的灵魂Wearegatheredheretod
25、aytodeterminewhetherornotasoulinHell,是否能通过地狱客栈的改造获得救赎升到天堂canberedeemedintotheheavenlyrealmbymeansofthisHazbinHotel.晨星公主开始吧PrincessMorningstar?谢谢你六翼天使Thankyou,Seraphim.韦氏词典把“救赎”定义为WebstersDictionarydefinesredemptionas反对蹩脚且非原创Objection,lameandunoriginal.反对有效请别再引用字典了Sustained.Nofurtherdictionaryreferen
26、cesplease.哦好吧Right,okay.赎罪拯救Uh,uh.Uhhhh.Mmmm.宽恕爱如果你有真凭实据就展示给我们看看Ifyouhaveactualevidence,thenshowitalready.我们此刻有一个住客正在取得令人难以置信的进步Wehaveapatronrightnowwhoismakingincredibleprogress.谁-安吉尔德斯特Who?-AngelDust.是哦那个色情恶魔Oh,yeah.Theporndemon.他绝对值得被拯救Hestotallyworthbeingredeemed.好吧既然你懂得这么多Well,ifyouknowsomuch.那
27、你说进入天堂需要满足什么条件WhatdoyouthinkittakestogetintoHeaven?这个嘛Ummm,w-w-well.Uhhhh.你没问题吧亚当-给我点时间好吗Iseverythingokay,Adam?Givemeafuckingminute,okay?对了“行为无私不偷盗敢于挑战权威”Actselfless,dontsteal,stickittotheman.”你不是认真的吧Areyoufuckingserious?当然是这让我进了这里不是吗Uh,yeah,suregotmehere,didntit?对吧昔拉Right,Sera?他确实是天堂里的第一个人类灵魂Hewast
28、hefirsthumansoulinHeaven.好吧我敢打赌安吉尔此刻就在做这些事Well,IbetAngelisdoingallofthosethingsrightnow!那我们就来看一看吧姐们Thenletsfuckingseeit,brah!尊敬的各位请允许我展示一号♥证据YourHonors,mayIpresentexhibitA.这地方是最棒的不是吗Woo!Isntthisplacethefuckingbest?我承认“知情同意对性夜♥总♥会♥来说是个好名字lladmit,Consentisagoodnameforasexcl
29、ub.妮芙蒂亲爱的你在做什么Niffty,dear,whatareyoudoing?我在扫地看看这里有多脏msweeping!Urgh,lookhowickyitisinhere!亲爱的那是因为我们是在一家夜♥总♥会♥Thatsbecausewe,reataclub,dear.我就说怎么客栈看上去不一样了Oh!Ithoughtthehotellookeddifferent!炸♥弹♥小姐我我想请你喝一杯Ms.Bomb,I-I-dliketobuyyouadrink.为什么你不是说我们是宿敌吗Why?Didntyousaywe,
30、rearch-rivals?那是因为我要请每个人都喝一杯Um.uh.becausembuyingeveryoneadrink!免费的酒我喜欢酒精太棒了-好哎Freedrinks!Ilovealcohol!很好经历了这一天我需要喝一杯Good,Ineedadrinkaftertoday.知道吗这阵子瓦尔迷上了玩水刑Youknow,VaLhesintothiswaterboardingshitnow,算是一种性怪癖Idontknow,it,sakink.安吉尔别再说瓦尔了Angel,enoughwiththeValtalk.Healreadyruinedyourwholeday.他已经毁了你的整个
31、白天别让他把你的夜晚也毁了Dontlethimruinyournight,too.来吃一颗你就什么烦恼都没有了Here,takeoneoftheseandyouwontbeworryingaboutnothing.料到会是这样Herewego.瞧啊醉汉清醒了一会儿就来对我们评头论足Oh,look,thedrunksobereduplongenoughtojudgeus.想要进天堂的人又不是我IainttheonetryingtogetintoHeaven.听着如果你想前功尽弃随便你1.ook,youwanttofuckupallyourprogress?Bemyguest.我只是我只是觉得你不
32、至于这么没出息Ijust.1justthoughtyouwerebetterthanthat.谢了扫兴队长Thanks,CaptainBuzzkill.来吧安吉尔咱们来嗨一把已经太久了ComeonAngie,letsgetfuckedup!Ifsbeentoolong.我我不确定I,uhh,Idontknow,这一晚已经够受了我不需要玩得太疯itsbeenalongnight,andIdontneedtogotoowild.来吧贱♥人♥Comeon,bitch.你真工作得那么辛苦的话那就应该放松休息一下Ifyouvereallybeenworkingthathard
33、,youdeservealittleRandR.来点大♥麻♥或带致幻剂的天使尘andsomeTHC,ormaybePCPwithDMT.别想太多先放纵一把再说Awfuckit,let,sseewherethenighttakesus,huh?那好吧1.1. Iguess.车匣我给你买♥♥了一杯烈酒Cherri,Iboughtyouashot.因为我给所有人都买♥♥了一杯B-becauseIboughteveryoneanothershot!万岁Hooray!太好了又有免费酒喝我喜欢酒精Yeah,anotherd
34、rink!Ilovealcohol!豁出去了咱们嗨起来吧fuckit,letsdoit!天堂的各位这证据还不够吗Heavenlypeople,whatmoredoyouneedtosee?这位色情明星选的是过一个放荡的夜晚Thepornstarchoseanightofdebauchery.这可不是配进天堂的灵魂ThatsnotasoulworthyofbeinginHeaven!反对Um,objection!难道你们就从没在辛苦的一天之后Areyoureallytellingmeyouveneverhadadrinkwithfriends跟朋友一起喝一杯过attheendofahardday
35、?我们没有辛苦的口子Uh,wedonthaveharddays?这里可是天堂啊贱♥人♥ItsfuckingHeaven,bitch.你真打算坐在那里假装这种行为可以接受Youseriouslygoingtositthereandpretendlikethisbehaviorisokay?你的看法呢Whatdoyouthink?我我得去趟洗手间1- IIhavetogotothebathroom.什么维姬你能忍♥一下吗What,Vaggie,canyouholdit?!安吉尔会做出正确的决定的Angelwillmakegooddecisions.拜托我们
36、得继续观察Comeon,wehavetokeepwatching.求你们了Please.我不确定-我们就给他一个机会吧Yeah.Idontknow.Yeah,letsgivehimachance.好吧本庭同意继续观察Verywell.Thecourtwillallowit.太他妈棒了Fuck,yes!我的意思是谢谢Imean,heh,thankyou.第12轮混♥蛋♥们Roundtwelve,motherfuckers!一轮接着一轮Heelsarecomingoff!好嘲继续上啊Haha,Ohyeah,keepemcomin,!来吧这里直接给爹地Comeon,rig
37、hthere,righttoDaddy.有朋友真是太好了Oh,itswonderfultohavefriends!所有东西都在转Everythingsspinny,hehe.我觉得你喝够了小东西不给我快给我Ha,Ithinkyouredone,tiny.No!Gimmegimmegimme!行了贱♥人♥她还能喝的Oh,comeon,bitch,shecanhandlealittlemore.就算浑身湿透她最多也就十斤见鬼她去哪儿了Shesliketenpoundssoakingwet,andohshit,where,dshego?嘿搞什么-打扫干净Hey,fuck!
38、Dirty,dirty,makeitclean!真见鬼妮芙蒂抱歉伙计们Dammit,Niffty.Sorryfellas,给卜一轮我请here,nextonesonme.妮芙蒂Niffty?见鬼Shit!氯漂白水Chlorine.Bleach.安吉尔你♥他♥妈♥在干什么呢Angie.thefuckareyoudoing?你应该放松而不是扮演保姆You,resupposedtoberelaxing,notplayingnanny.听着她不太习惯这种场合1.ook,sheaintusedtothisscene.我不想让她像我一样栽进阴沟里Ijustdont
39、wanthertoendupinthegutterlikeIusedto.随便你道德呆子Pfft,whatever,nerd.这里完事后再来找我就是Justcatchupwhenyouredone.住手你不能拿那个Stop!Youcanttakethat老天妮芙蒂你怎么这么混乱God,Niffwhyareyoubeinsuchamess?!我混乱mthemess?糟糕Oh,ohshit!嘿冷静点你不混乱Hey,hey,hey.calmdown,yaaintamess.没事了Ifsfine.Ssshhh,嘿你想去跟小猫一起玩吗hey,youwannaplaywiththekitty?想Yeah.
40、这是干什么Thefuckisthis?她喝醉了顺着她点就行Sheswasted.Justgowithit.不.不是吧Re-really?!给我Ugh,getthe-嘿哇Ahhh,hey,wow!嘿我看到这夜♥总♥会♥里有一个性♥爱♥室Hey,so.Iseetheclubhasasexroom.性♥爱♥室所以我在想So,Iwasthinking,或许你会想maybeyoudwantto,uhm.跟我做♥爱♥do.asexwithme?不好意思我们为什么要做♥
41、爱♥msorry,whywouldwehavesex?因为我要跟这里的每个人做♥爱♥becausemhavingsexwitheveryonehere!等等不等一下-好进来吧Wait.Getinhere.我们可以每晚都这样狂欢一把Youknow,Wecandothisfuckingshiteveryfuckingnight你不必把下班后的时间花在“自我提升”上小贱♥人♥Youdonthavetospendallyouroffhours,workingonyourself“youlittlebitch.让他不爽的不是客栈而是T
42、hehotelisntaprobleminhislife,it,s-瓦伦蒂诺-没错Valentino.Exactly.所以你何不不是瓦伦蒂诺在这儿Sowhydontyou-No.Valentino.我常来这儿他们都认得我Yeah,mhereallthetime,theyknowme.你很漂亮需要工作吗You,regorgeous.doyouneedajob?你能吸多少个鸡♥巴♥Howmanydickscanyousuck?咱们快离开这里好来吧Ooh,Icouldmakeyouastar.没错一个明星色情明星-妮芙蒂呢1.etsgetthefuckouttahere.
43、Ok.Comeon-Pornstar.-Yeah,astar.Where,sNiffty?没错再给我来一杯酒不然我就宰了你Okay,yup,bringmeanotherdrinkorllfuckingkillyou.我说我他妈会宰了你我真的会Badboy.Hehehehe.Isaidllfuckingkillyou!借过让一下别挡我的路Excuseme.Pardonme.AndIwill.Getoutofmyway.天啊是安吉尔德斯特Holyshit,AngelDust?宝贝你在这里做什么Whatareyoudoinghere,baby?今天鸡♥巴♥还没吃够吗You
44、didntgetenoughdicktoday?真搞笑-这小家伙是谁Funny.Whosthischiquita?你给我带了小鲜肉Youbringingmefreshmeat?我只是想尝尝味道0i!Ijustwantataste.古怪但我相信一定有人有这种性怪癖Ehh,weird,buttheresakinkforthat,msure!滚开瓦尔Fuckoff,Val.你说什么Excuseme?我让你滚开Isaidfuckoffi虽然我不得不忍♥受你的羞辱Imayhavetoputupwithyourbullshit,但不准你羞辱我的朋友们butyouain,tfuckingwit
45、hanyofmyfriends.你忘了你在跟谁说话了吗Youforgetwhoyouretalkingto?你是我的贱♥人♥Iownyou,bitch.没错在工作室里Yeah,youdo,inthestudio,在那儿你想拿我怎样都行andyoucandoanythingyouwanttomethere,就像我们的协议里说的那样justlikeourdealsays.但在工作室外我有选择的自♥由♥Butouthere,IgettodowhatIwant.所以我再说一遍给我滚开Soonceagain,fuckoff!好好享受今晚剩下的时光吧贱♥货♥Enjoytherestofyourni
