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1、欢迎来到动物管理部让我带你们转转WelcometoAnimalControl.Letmeshowyouaround.那些是椅子那是只猫或者负鼠Thosearesomechairs.Thatsacatorapossum.哦这是张餐巾上面我写了Oh,thisisanapkinwhereIwrotedown给狗起的一个酷名字”狗叫奥巴马”acoolnameforadog.BarkObama.对吧Right?那是-这里发生了什么Isthat-whatshappeninghere?哦哟是我们在外面找到这只鸟Oh.Yo.Yeah.Wefoundthisbirdoutside.我们试着把它变成一个工作警笛W
2、etriedtoturnitintoaworkwhistle,像摩登原始人的片头里一样likeinthebeginningofTheFlintstones.比看起来难虽然Tougherthanitlooked,though.我们镇上有大规模的害虫问题Wehaveamassivepestprobleminthistown,因为动物管理部是个祸害anditsbecausetheAnimalControlDepartmenthasbeendisaster.在抓动物上atcatchinganimals.他们倒是很擅长摄入和销♥售♥大♥麻♥They
3、regreatatingestingandsellingmarijuana.这个地方是由两个毒虫废物管理的悲惨无底洞Thisplaceisamiserablesuckholerunbytwopot-headlosers.这里的管理完全是失当的Itscompletelyandutterlymismanaged.谢谢Thanks!看起来确实非常缺乏管理Itdoesseemtobeverypoorlyrun,但我们到这里也才两分钟butweveonlybeenherefortwominutes.他们的疯狂也许会有条理的Theremaybeamethodtotheirmadness.给猫剥皮的方式都不
4、止一种呢Theresmorethanonewaytoskinacat.四种给猫剥皮的方式有四种Four.Theresfourwaystoskinacat.嗷啊这是啥啊-常规刀片-0w!Ah!Whatisthis?-Regularblade-土狼陷阱哥们-啊这也太疼了Coyotetrap,dude.-Ah!Thishurts!是啊我们有就严重的动物灾害问题Yeah,wegot,like,ahugeverminproblem.我是说我们本来打算给谁打电♥话♥投诉这事儿的Imean,we,vebeenmeaningtocallsomebodyaboutit,但你知道没人接
5、电♥话♥啊butyouknow,nobodygetonthephone.你们就是你们打电♥话♥要找的人Yourethepeopleyouwouldbecalling.这也太迷糊了Thatissotrippy.嗷你被开除了你被开除了OwlYourefired!You,refired!整个部门都被开除了Thewholedepartmentisfired.嗷这好疼这可是我跑步用的脚啊0w,thishurts!Thiswasoneofmyrunningfeet!哟我们去牙买♥♥加吧-不我们该去牙买♥&he
6、arts;加Yo,let,sgotoJamaica.-No,weshouldgotoJamaica.哦你说的也是那个吧Oh,isthatwhatyousaid?耶兄弟Yeah,dog.公园与游憩公园与游憩第5季第18集第5季第18集Ron你在这里流了一天的汗了Ron,youvebeensweatinginhereallday.你喝了任何液体了吗Areyoudrinkinganyfluids?是的够多了Yes,plenty.不你需要喝水No,youneedtodrinkwater.通常我都是喝纯的Usually,Itakeitneat,但我以健康的名义就破个例吧butIwillmakeanexc
7、eptioninthenameofhealth.昨晚我和Diane以及姑娘们一起看了场电影1.astnight,IwatchedamoviewithDianeandthegirls指海底总动员其中一条橙色的鱼和他的父亲分开了inwhichanorangefishisseparatedfromhisfather.孩子们在吸鼻涕Thechildrenweresniffling,我本以为是由于电影的悲伤状态whichIbelievedtobeduetothesadnatureofthefilm.我错了Iwaswrong.你需要把这么多层都脱掉Youneedtotakeoffthoselayers,补
8、水然后去看医生rehydrate,andgotothedoctor.谢谢你的关心我会没事的Thankyouforyourconcern,Iwillbefine.请把恒温器调到32度然后别管我了Pleaseturnthethermostatupto90andleavemealone.Ron这不安全Ron,thisisn,tsafe.我是个成年人了Iamagrownman.我以前得过感冒我不需要帮助Ihavehadacoldbefore,Ineednohelp,所以如果你不介意soifyoudontmind-差不多该这样了Thatseemsaboutright.好了突击测验香味名字Okay,pop
9、quiz.Namethescent.呃”痉挛,不对“恐颜巨hearts;乳♥Uh,Spasm.No,ButterFace!非常好好Verygood!-Yes!我在试着让更多大公♥司♥给Sweetums基金会捐赠mtryingtogetmorebigcompaniestodonatetotheSweetumsFoundation,而Tom给我们联♥系♥上了DennisFeinsteinandTomgotusameetingwithDennisFeinstein,Pawnee首要的香水和古龙水生产商Pawnee,spremier
10、manufacturerofperfumesandcologne.哦Oh!或者可能是杀虫剂Orpossibly,insecticide.DennisFeinstein属于新一代的富豪-DennisFeinsteinbelongstoanewgenerationofwealth-说唱歌♥手技术天才极限运动奖牌得主rappers,techgeniuses,XGamesmedallists,当然还有“香味艺术家”andofcourse,scentartists.这个男人有一辆劳力萨斯ThemanownsaRolexus.是一辆装满劳力士手表的雷克萨斯车ItsaLexusfilledwi
11、thRolexes.为啥要那么做啊Whatsthepointofthat?拥有啊他就有啊Tohaveit,whichhedoes.好吧我来展开讨论捐赠的益处Okay,Illlayoutthebenefitsofdonating.Tom以他的独家技术来奉承和闲聊TomwillflatterandschmoozeasonlyTomcan.Andy你知道这对你来说就是个学习经历Andy,youknow,thisisjustalearningexperienceforyou,所以看着听着就行soyoujustwatchandlisten.我动用了一大堆人脉才搞定这次会面Ihadtopullalotof
12、stringstogetthismeeting,所以拜托都别给我丢脸soplease,nooneembarrassme.Ben穿点体面的衣服比如燕尾服Ben,putonsomethingdecent,likeatux.Andy你没救了就洗个澡吧Andy,yourehopeless,justtakeashower.我已经洗了个我叫做“Dwyer澡”的澡IalreadytookwhatIcallaDwyershower.我用空气清新剂抹了腋窝Irubbedmyarmpitswithairfresheners.新车味道Newcar.动物管理长♥期♥都是这个政&hearts
13、;府♥最不称职的职员仓库Animalcontrolhaslongbeenarepositoryforsomeofthisgovernmentsmostincompetentemployees.JerryGergich就是从那里开始的JerryGergichgothisstartthere.嗯-好吧嗯Well.-Allright,well.是所以新的主任需要称职Yeah,soournewdirectorneedstobecompetent,有作用不是完全整天嗑药的状态effective,andnotcompletelystonedallthetime.我已经领先一步了小妹妹我有个完
14、美的家伙mwayaheadofyouthere,girly.Igottheperfectguy.一个朋友有点酗酒Friendofmine,bitofanalcoholic,有点贪婪要不是战争英雄要不就是战犯alittlegrabby,eitherawarheroorwarcriminal,取决于你问的是谁但是是个好人dependingonwhoyouask,butagooddude.怎么认识他的我做他的牙齿Howdoyouknowhim?-1dohisteeth.前面有几个咖啡渍但犬齿绝了Afewcoffeestainsupfront,buthiscaninesareinsane.哎呀Jere
15、my他听起来很完美啊他的牙龈也很棒吗Gosh,Jeremy,hesoundsperfect.Arehisgumsgreattoo?哦耶非常优秀甜菜红Oh,yeah.Theyareexcellent,beetred.我是在讽刺Iwasbeingsarcastic.我觉得我们该籽此事开放供讨论Ithinkweshouldopenthistothefloorformorediscussion.呃或许你能跟她解释一F拜托Uh,maybeyouwouldliketoexplainthistoher,please?传统来说Leslie议员们就会轮流行使部门认命权利Traditionally,Leslie,
16、thecouncilmenjustkindoftaketurnsondepartmentalappointments.是啊这个是我的然后是DeXhart然后是你Yeah,thisoneismine,thenDexhartfthenyou.整个地方就是靠先到先得运转的Thiswholeplacerunsondibs.你开玩笑吗你们都对此没问题吗Areyoukiddingme?Youguysareallfinewiththis?嗯Milton睡着了但你们余下的呢Well,Miltonsasleep,buttherestofyou?这就是部门管理失当的原因Thisishowdepartmentsge
17、tmismanaged.不我们要仔细一点No.Wearegoingtobethorough.我要找一个候选人而且我鼓励你们都这么做mgoingtofindacandidate,andIencourageyoualltodothesame,然后我们面试他们所有人andthen,wewillinterviewallofthem.无聊Boring!“无聊”是我的中间名所以Boringismymiddlename,so.我深入审查后的候选人会彻底击溃你们的mythoroughlyvettedcandidateisgoingtoblowyourcandidateoutofthewater.哦我想我要走了
18、很高兴见到你们会开得不错Oh,Iguessmleaving.Goodtoseeyou.Greatmeeting!我想再次反对违背我的意愿被带来这里dliketoobjectagaintobeingbroughthereagainstmywill.好吧我就在这再次检查一下你填的表Okay,mjustgonnadouble-checkyourformhere.Ron你把所有的信息都划掉了Ron!Youredactedalltheinformation.我回答了其中一些Iansweredsomeofthem.在“生日”一栏你填了”春季Fordateofbirth/youwrotespringtime
19、.是真实的你写下的一切都是保密的Whichistrue.-Everythingyouwritedownisconfidential.我们需要你给出真实的答案Weneedyoutogiverealanswers.好吧Fine.你每周消耗多少杯酒Howmanydrinksofalcoholdoyouconsumeaweek?-就这吗一杯One.-Thafsit,onedrink?一架子Oneshelf.你运动吗-是的做♥爱♥和做木工Doyouexercise?-Yes.Lovemakingandwoodworking.家庭成员有精神病史吗Doyouhaveanyhist
20、oryofmentalillnessinyourfamily?我有个叔叔做瑜伽1haveanunclewhodoesyoga.过敏史懦夫和意志薄弱的男性Allergies?-Cowardiceandweak-willedmen.还有榛子Andhazelnuts.性史Sexualhistory.史诗级而且保密Epicandprivate.好的我去叫你的医生来Okay.mgonnagogetyourdoctor.他是个粗鲁无礼的混♥蛋♥你会很爰他的Hesarude,brashjerk.Youlllovehim.我就直入正题吧mgonnacutrighttothechas
21、e.我不喜欢慈善我不理解1dontlikecharity.Idontgetit.我感觉就是白白送钱还没有回报Feelstomelikemgivingmoneyaway,andgettingnothinginreturn.嗯不是那样的Well,that,snottrue.你真的能帮助树立品牌形象Youcanreallyhelpyourpersonalbrand如果你展示出你这个大亨会尽你所能地问馈ifyoushowthatyoureamogulthatgivesasmuchashegets.我要是尽我所能我就得给出两千万IfIgiveasmuchasIget,mgiving$20million.
22、哎呀呀Ayyiyi.那就是我的身价两千万Thatshowmuchmworth,20.million.dollars.是是是是Yeah.Yeah,yeah,yeah.啊他很恶心但我想拿他的钱给贫穷的人Ah,hesdisgusting,but1wanttotakehismoneyandgiveittoneedypeople,所以我就接着微笑吧耶somjustgonnakeeponsmiling.Yay!捐赠给慈善的人他们的媒体形象特别好Peoplewhogivetocharity,theygetamazingpress.哈-比如比尔盖茨Huh.-LikeBillGates.你听说过比尔盖茨吗Hav
23、eyoueverheardofBillGates?他住在西雅图戴个眼镜HelivesinSeattle,guywithglasses.比尔盖茨BillGates?我知道比尔盖茨是谁啊IknowwhoBillGatesis.比尔盖茨就是个超级死宅啊BillGatesis,like,asupernerd.这是个什么宅事情吗你在说我宅吗Isthissomesortofnerdthing?Areyoucallingmeanerd?投资人上过创智赢家呃他的意思是MarkCubanUh,hemeantMarkCuban.Cuban吗那这就是我能相处的人了-MarkCUbanCuban?Now,thatst
24、hekindofguyIcanhangoutwithMarkCuban.是啊我有兴趣了接着说Yeah.-minterestednow.Keeptalking.别动Staystill.”别想这个有多痒”Dontthinkabouthowmuchthisitches.非常好的建议Thatsverygoodadvice.我必须说这是史上组建过的最佳选人委员会Ihavetosay,thisisthegreatestsearchcommitteeeverassembled来找到一个动物管理部门领导tofindanewAnimalControlDepartmenthead.ChrisTraeger用一只脚
25、能做的ChrisTraegercandomorewithonefoot比大多数人用三只还多thanmostpeoplecandowiththree.不说谎我需要这句话mnotgoingtolietoyou.Ineededthat.我知道Iknow.AprilLudgate很美丽.-另（JAprilLudgateisbeautiful.-Stop.你很有才华-不Youaretalented.-No.但最重要的是你对动物有热情Butmostimportantly,yourepassionateaboutanimals.确实是的因为我是半狼Thatstrue.Itsbecausemhalfwolf.
26、好的Donna你看了所有的简历Okay,Donna,youtookalookatalltheresumes,所以把最好的候选人送进来吧sosendinthebestcandidate.咋滴啦我是Harris我33岁小Wassup?mHarris.m33yearsyoung.我在我表哥Jason的卡车上还能住两周IhavemycousinJasonstruckfortwomoreweeks.我有一个蛋-打地鼠事故一Ihaveonetesticle-whac-a-moleaccident-而且我有意愿andmdowntoclown.Harris我们知道你是谁我真的刚刚开除了你Harris,wekn
27、owwhoyouare.Iliterallyjustfiredyou.哦这就是那个工作吗这也太疯了那没事了Oh,isthisthatjob?Thatscrazy!Nevermind.你为什么会觉得Harris是最佳人选啊WhywouldyouthinkHarriswouldbethebestcandidate?因为他是候选人中唯二Causehe,soneofonlytwoapplicants有动物管理实际经验的之一withactualexperienceatanimalcontrol.啊哦那意味着一Uh-ohh.Doesthatmean-咋地哟我名字是BrettWhatup?Yo,myname
28、isBrett.我喜欢汉堡还有我现在非常的嗨Ilikeburgers,andalso,mveryhighrightnow.哥们这也太好笑了哦哟Dude,thisishilarious!-Oh,yo!我们住一起-哟我们住在同一个地方Welivetogether!-Yo,weliveinthesameplace!这是我的兄弟嘿“爷马们”Thisismyboy!-Hey,WyldStallyns!你们知道为啥外面有那么多条子吗Youguysknowwhythereareallthosecopsoutthere?条子哪呢Wherearethecopsat?我得走了-哟Igottago.-Yo.很多慈善
29、组织会在日常开支上浪费钱Alotofcharitieswastetheirmoneyonoverhead,但我们在Sweetums基金会会合理地规划-好了butweattheSweetumsFoundation,spendourmoneywisely.-Okay.你猜怎么着闭嘴好吧Youknowwhat?Shutup.-Allright.你们看起来是挺酷的哥们我也感觉挺慷慨YouguysseemlikeprettycooldudesandImfeelingprettygenerous,所以我们要不把这个谈话带到Pawnee吸烟室呢sowhydontwetakethisconversationt
30、othePawneeSmokehouse?蠢蠢Eddie拿上支票簿Dumb-DumbEddie,getthecheckbook.我们要出门了Weregoingout.喔喔喔Whoa,whoa,whoa!伙计们我们要出门先喷上Guys,weregoingoutLetsscentup!我先占了“泄漏”IcalldibsonOoze.我拿到了颜♥射♥-耶IgotMoneyShot.-Yeah.我拿到了“喷血”IgotBloodSpurt.哦不别用那个Ooh,no,dontusethatone.呃继续吧Eh,goahead.所以你为什么想要这份工作呢Sowhydoyouwa
31、ntthisjob?呃我爱猫狗当然也很棒Well,Ilovecats,anddogssurearegreat.嗯你确实满足所有资格Well,youhaveallthequalifications.你上过一所四年制的大学Youwenttoafour-yearcollege.实际上我去上的时候它还是两年制Actually,whenIwentthere,itwasjustatwo-yearcollege.哇所以严格来说你甚至连现在这份工作的资格都不够Wow,soyourenoteventechnicallyqualifiedtoworkatyourcurrentjob.哦哎呀Aw,geez.你被开除
32、了滚出去-不不你没被开除Yourefired.Getout.-No,no,yourenotfired,但我们肯定要给你降薪了butweredefinitelygoingtohavetoloweryoursalary.哦嗯很公平Oh,well,fairsfair.我非常非常非常非常地害怕动物Iamvery,very,very,veryfrightenedofanimals.这可能不是适合你的工作Thismaynotbethejobforyou.我知道但我的咨♥询♥师RichardNygard医生Iknow,butmytherapist,Dr.RichardNygard
33、,告诉我要直面我的恐惧toldmetoconfrontmyfears.你也看RichardNygard医生啊我也是Nygard人啊YouseeDr.RichardNygard?maNygardiantoo!你能在我的石膏上签名吗Wouldyousignmycast?可以但就拜托别把这份工作给我Yes,butjustpleasedon,tgivemethisjob.取卵巢和阉♥割♥的工具Thespayingandneuteringtools,你们觉得能用在人类身上吗doyouthinkthosefithumans?不不不不不不阉♥割♥室门上
34、有锁吗Mm-mmm.Mm-mmm.Mm-mmm.-Andistherealockonthespayingroomdoor?不不不不Mm-mmm.Mm-mmm.非常感谢你的前来Thankyousomuchforcomingin.感谢邀请-好吧Thanksforhavingme.-Okay.简历Orin你好Orin非常感谢你的申请现在离开吧Hello,Orin.Thankyousomuchforapplying,nowleave.嘿给他个机会嘛Hey,givehimachance.什么让你能胜任动物控制的工作呢Whatmakesyouqualifiedforanimalcontrol?我在大学学的
35、动物学Istudiedzoologyincollege,而且我可以用意念控制动物and1cancontrolanimalswithmymind.出去我让你那么说的Getout-1madeyousaythat.我喜欢他Ilikedhim.嗯真的是一个令人沮丧的候选人名单Well,thatwasatrulydepressingslateofcandidates.我觉得你有几个选择Ithinkyouvegotseveraloptions.它们都很糟糕但你有Theyreallterrible,butyouhavethem.在你开始前几条基本规矩Beforeyoubegin,afewgroundrule
36、s.我需要你在做之前解释你做的一切Ineedyoutoexplaineverythingyoudobeforeyoudoit,这样我就能决定会不会允许你-soIcandeterminewhether1willallowyou-哦0h!恶Ugh!轻木吗至少也用红木吧Balsawood?Youcouldatleastusemahogany.有些东西堵住了你的耳朵TheressomethingOccludingyourear.锯木屑而已吹一下就行Itssawdust.Justblow.哦-你有脓毒性咽喉炎Oh.-Youvegotstrepthroat.我给你开个青霉素的处方mwritingyouap
37、rescriptionforpenicillin.剩下的化验结果大概20分钟之后能出来胆固醇-Wellhavetherestofyourtestresultsinabout20minutes.Cholesterol-不感兴趣Notinterested.日安Goodday.希望所有病人都是那样Wishallpatientswerelikethat.他们问问题的时候真的很烦人It,sreallyannoyingwhentheyaskquestions.你知道他们声称抽烟对你有害Youknow,theyclaimthatsmokingisbadforyou,但有任何医学证据来支持吗butisther
38、eanymedicalevidencetobackthatup?说到点了Greatpoint.所以Sweetums基金会最近实现了很多事情SotheSweetumsFoundationhasreallyaccomplishedalotrecently.我们的卫生保健推广项目Ourhealthcareoutreachprogram将农村的红眼病减少了30%.hasreducedpinkeyeintheruralcommunityby30%.降到了70%to70%.瞌睡你们猎杀过狐狸吗Snooze.Youguyseverbeenfoxhunting?我都是自己从俄♥罗♥
39、斯♥运狐狸过来的IhavemyownfoxesflowninfromRussia.我们给它们卜.挺重的药所以它们不能跑太远Wedrugthemprettyheavilysotheycantgetveryfar.实际h大部分时间它们就只是在地上扑腾而已Infact,mostly,theyjustfloparoundontheground.感觉更简单了只需要走上去然后“啪“Makesiteasiertojustwalkupandpow!愚蠢的狐狸真的很色情Stupidfoxes.Itsdeeplyerotic.听起来太棒了Thatsoundsamazing.我们有机会应该去打猎-我很
40、想啊Weshouldgohuntingsometime.-dloveto.我可以把我的RalphLauren2010秋季系列召唤出来IcouldbustoutmyRalphLaurenFall2010collection.2012年到手清♥仓♥甩卖♥♥Coppeditin2012.Clearancerack!随便你穿什么Wearwhateveryouwant,只要不是太亮或者太反光aslongasit,snottoobrightorreflective.你知道我想让你融入周边环境Youknow,Iwantyoublendingintoth
41、esurroundings.你能跑多快Howfastcanyourun?我觉得那家伙想猎杀我啊Ithinkthatguywantstohuntme.所以Dennis不想打断-So,Dennis,nottointerrupt那就别炸了哈哈Thendont.Boom!Haha!让他马上闭了嘴Shuthimrightdown!我已经听你们叽叽歪歪太多了Ihaveheardsomuchtalkingfromyou.我不想听到你们的胖嘴里再蹦出一个字了Idontwanttohearyourfatmouthsayanythingelse.呸-哦Boo!-0h.你是个蠢货Youreadick.你说什么Exc
42、useme?Andy-你怎么敢跟我这么说话的Andy-Howdareyoutalktomelikethat?你的礼貌呢Whereareyourmanners?你们来找我要钱Youcometomeaskingformoney,然后你这么对我吗我不觉得啊andyoutreatmelikethis?Idontthinkso.闭嘴吧我们结束了Wrapitup!Weredone!Eddie把这些垃圾人送出去Eddie!Showthesegarbagepeopleout!垃圾带出去EddieTakethegarbageout,Eddie.Donna吗Donna?先生们Gentlemen.Palletta先
43、生你现在的职业是什么Mr.Palletta,whatisyouroccupationcurrently?我开了家少儿霹雳舞工作室叫做“DJ爵士Veme1runachildrensbreakdancingstudiocalled,D.J.JazzyVerns.你有任何动物相关的经验吗Doyouhaveanyexperiencewithanimals?呃一只蝙蝠曾经落到过我脸上Uh,abatlandedonmyfaceonce.嘿你知道吗他又不是块排骨Hey,youknowwhat,he,snotarackofribs,所以别烤”问他了sostopgrillinghim.搞“钉”Nailedit.
44、排骨烟熏比烤起来烤翅Ribsarebettersmokedthangrilled,所以“钉”被拔起来了用锤7的后面那个部分soun-nailedit,withthebackpartofthehammer.还有多少问题呢Howmanymorequestionsaretheregonnabe?Jamm说要是在他那做美白我就搞到这个活呃嘎嘎嘎等JammsaidifIgotmyteethwhitened,djustgetthegig.-Uh,gagagaho.等等够r谢谢你没事了Holdup,thatsenough.Thankyou,youredone.做得很棒VernieYoudidaheckofa
45、job,Vernie.谢r金宝Thanks,Jimbo.不差吧对吧我是说如果他抓浣熊的水平Notbad,right?Imean,ifhecancatchraccoons和他教六岁小孩街舞的水平差不多aswellashecanteachsix-year-oldstopopandlock,他就是全垒打了he,sahomerun.这是个精神错乱的陈述Thatisaninsanestatement.嗯我也没看到更好的啊Well,1dontseeanyonebetter.April我给你准备礼物April,Igotapresentforyou.我不喜欢乳液我喜欢我的手像铁路工人一样裂开布满老茧Idontlikelotion.Ilikemyhandstobecrackedandcallousedlikearailwayworker.我知道我瓶子里装满的是假血醋和泥土Iknow.Ifilledthebottleswithfakeblood,vinegar,andmud.真的吗谢r-一件完全无关的事情
