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1、这是历史性的一天在上午12:01Thisisahistoricday.At12:01thismorning,Eagleton市不复存在被Pawnee重新吞并thecityofEagletonceasedtoexistandwasre-absorbedbackintoPawnee.一切又完全回到了1817年的样子Thingsareexactlythewaytheywerebackin1817,除了你知道的女性和少数群体可以投票了我们有室内卫生间了except,youknow,womenandminoritiescanvote,wehaveindoortoilets,而且我们不再因为学习算术而烧死
2、寡妇了andwenolongerburnwidowsforlearningarithmetic.Knope女议员是你们的合并沙皇而在她提供的这些活页夹里CouncilwomanKnopeisyourmergerczar,andinthebindersthatshesprovided,你们能找到指导事项说明你们在Pawnee部门中youwillfinddirectionstoyourdepartmentinPawnee最接近你们在Eagleton部门的对应部门thatmostcloselymatchesyourdepartmentinEagleton.有两个Eagleton部门是Pawnee没有
3、的TherearetwoEagletondepartmentsPawneedoesnothave:无边泳池设计部和盛装舞步部theDepartmentOfInfinityPoolDesignandtheDepartmentofDressage,那个我听说是个高档骑马的事情which1amtoldisafancyhorse-ridingthing.是马上舞步女士Itishorse-dancing,madam.好的别激动AlonzoOkay,takeiteasy,Alonzo.你们所有马上跳舞的人们愿意的话先坐稳在马鞍上Allyouhorsedancingpeople,sitinyoursaddl
4、esifyouwill.其他所有人欢迎你们来到新的部门Therestofyou,welcometoyournewdepartments.注意Eagleton现在起实施军事戒♥严♥Attention:Eagletonisnowundermartiallaw.没有No.公园与游憩公园与游憩第6季第4集第6季第4集好了Pawnee公园部Okay,PawneeParksDepartment.不久你就会和一个人配对Soon,youwillbepairedupwithaperson他大概会是在Eagleton与你等同岗位的人whowasroughlyyourequivalent
5、inEagleton.Donna你配对的是CraigDonna,youllbewithCraig.April你配对的名字叫TynnyferApril,youllbewithsomeonenamedTynnyfer.而Ron你的那位也叫RonAndRon,yourguyisalsonamedRon.我猜TomHaverford没有等价的人了GuesstheresnoTomHaverfordequivalent毫不惊讶我可是独一无二的Notsurprised,moneofakind,就像我自己设计的定制耐克脚趾上写着“Tommy的小脚”justlikethecustomNikesIdesigned
6、thatsayTommysTootsiesacrossthetoes.实际上你确实有个对应的人Youdohaveacounterpart,actually.他的名字是EriC我听说他很棒HisnameisEriGandveheardhe,samazing.总之我还有一个小惊喜Anyway,Ialsohavealittlesurprise.我想向各位介绍我们的新归档临时工Iwouldliketointroduceournewfilingtemp.嘿各位-别啊Hey,everybody.-No!别啊为啥啊不能这样啊No,why?Thiscantbehappening.为啥啊LeslieWhy,Le
7、slie?我们把退休的Jerry拉回来了WebroughtJerryoutOfretirement因为我们有堆积成山的文件要搞定becausewehaveamountainoffilingtogetthrough.欢迎回来JerryGergich-谢谢你LeslieWelcomeback,JerryGergich.-Thankyou,Leslie.既然我们要重新开始了Andaslongaswerestartingoutfresh,1.eslie我在想人们能不能叫我的真名1.eslie,Iwaswonderingifpeoplewouldcallmebymyrealname.1.arry-不不是
8、Larry1.arry?-No,itsnotLarry.是Jerry不是GaryItsJerry.No,itsGary.你的名字是LaiTyLarryGengurchYournameisLarry,LarryGengurch.他的名字是LarryGengUrChHisnameisLarryGengurch.别啊APriI你叫我Gary的时候我的家人已经很难熬了Comeon,APriLit,salreadyhardenoughformyfamilywhenyoucallmeGary.Jerry-哈哈典型的LaiTyJerry.-Ha,ha,classicLarry.1.arry-唉哎呀1.arr
9、y.-Aw,jeez.1.arryLarryLarry1.arry,Larry,Larry.你看我想努力留下更多的工作越多越好1.ook,mtryingtosaveasmanyjobsaspossible,但我们必须要失去一些人butweregonnahavetolosesomepeople.我不确定我们应该留下谁mnotsurewhoweshouldkeep.AprilTom和DOnna是人类有史以来最好的三个人April,TomandDonnaarethreeofthebesthumanbeingsthathaveeverlived.Ron基本上是个更好版本的乔治华盛顿Ronisbasic
10、allyabetterversionofGeorgeWashington.但是But-Eagleton的人们可能也会很好吧theEagletoniansareprobablygoodtoo.今天我们不只是在合并两个镇Today,wearenotjustmergingtwotowns.我们是在给一个新的城市开一个生日派对Werethrowingabirthdaypartyforanewcity.生日快乐啊新PawneeHappybirthday,NewPawnee.派对结束了Partysover.你们这群人赔掉了纳税人几百万美元Youguyslostmillionsoftaxpayerdolla
11、rs,而我们必须把你们留下的肮脏混乱打扫干净andWehavetocleanuptheobscenemessyou,vemade.你没有另外那个家伙那么好Yourenotasniceastheotherguy.我不在乎Idontcare.我们在做州审计员时有个很棒的系统Whenwewerestateauditors,wehadanamazingsystem.是啊Chris给所有人打足了气让他们感觉积极而开心Yeah,Chrispumpedeveryoneupandmadethemfeelpositiveandhappy.然后我趁虚而入把他们的预算砍到粉碎AndIswoopedinandslas
12、hedtheirbudgetstoribbons.就像一次华丽的空中接力1.ikeamajesticalley-oop.你们都好棒Youreallamazing!你们都被开了You,reallfired.团队合作哦Teamwork.嗨你现在接通语♥音♥信箱的是Hi,youvereachedthevoicemailof1.arryGengurch1.arryGengurch.请在哗声后留言Pleaseleaveyourmessageafterthetone.嗯Leslie打给我问我能不能帮忙时Well,whenLesliecalledtoseeifIcouldhelp
13、,Gayle和我正准备登上去巴哈马群岛的邮轮GayleandIwerejustgettingonacruiseshiptotheBahamas.我说Gayle把比基尼收起来吧因为Pawnee需要我了”Isaid,Gayle,putthatbikiniaway,becausePawneeneedsme.哦吼有人在这里掉了根香蕉-哦Ohho!Somebodyforgotabananainhereooh!嗨我是DonnaHi,mDonna.哦对你来说真是完美的名字千万别改啊Oh,thatistheperfectnameforyou.Iloveit.Neverchangeit!没那想法Wasntgon
14、na.你是Craig对吧-恶是啊但我讨厌那个名字You,reCraig,right?-Ugh,yes,butIhatethatname.太无聊了听起来像谁的表哥Ifssoboring.Soundslikesomeone,scousin.CraigCraigCraig!Craig!我想做一个叫TelTenCe的西班牙人但那也没发生IwanttobeaSpanishmannamedTerrence,butthatdidn,thappen.好吧注意这是我的职责列表Okay.Soheresmylistofduties.我基本上是办公室经理mbasicallytheofficemanager.那你呢哦我
15、所有事都做过了Howaboutyou?-Oh,Idideverything.所有事Everything!几年来我把Eagleton部门的全部责任扛在肩上IcarriedtheEagletondepartmentonmyshouldersforyears,而我爱这份工作的每一秒钟你甚至没法理解andIlovedeverysecondofit.Youdontevenknow!抱歉你的名字是Jennifermsorry,wasyournameJennifer?不是Tynnyffer有两个y的No,itsTynnyfferwithtwoys.我以前是Jennifer但我决定要重塑自己的形象Iusedt
16、obeJennifer,butthenIdecidedtorebrandmyself.哦等等稍等镇静剂时间到了Oh,wait,hangon.ItsXanaxoclock.我的药药嗯Um,那个很高兴认识你啊我叫Aprilwell,nicetomeetyou.MynamesApril,而我只想说你的裙子太可爱都透顶了andIjustwantedtosaythatyourdressissocuteitsbonks.我看到我动感单车教练这么穿然后我就Isawmyspinninginstructorwearingit,andIwaslike,闭嘴吧我要到哪搞到那个啊”Shutup.WheredoIget
17、that?哦天啊你动感单车教练是谁啊Gregory还是WynonaOh,myGod.Who,syourspinninginstructor?GregoryorWynona?我去的YonisGregory和Wynona是谁IgotoYonis.WhoareGregoryandWynona?我从没听说过他们更好吗veneverheardofthembefore.Aretheybetter?Wynona摇滚了我的世界Wynonarocksmyworld.认真的你需要把我弄进去就那是个必须必须必须Seriously,youneedtogetmeinthere.Like,that,samust,must
18、,must她是我见过最烂的人类Shestheworstpersonveevermet.我想跟她一起环游世界Iwanttotraveltheworldwithher.RonRon.RonRon.姓呢1.astname?“讲完了”DunneDunne.那是你的名字还是你告诉我你讲完了Isthatyourname,orareyoutellingmeyourefinishedtalking?都是Both.Dunne了懂了Dunneanddone.我喜欢RonIlikeRon.嗨-哎呀哎呀哎呀Hi.-Well,well,well.你应该就是Eric了YoumustbeEric.我是IT部的RagiV这才
19、是ERICmRagivfromLT.ThisisE.R.I,C.ERIC是个电脑程序吗E.R.I.C.isacomputerprogram?代表Eagleton预约信息中心StandsforEagletonReservationInformationCenter.它接手EagIeton的所有预订事务ItdoesalltheschedulinginEagleton.我是来安装的mheretoinstallit.但预约是我工作的主要部分啊Butschedulingsthemainpartofmyjob.你们还要个人类来负责订网球场吗Youstillhaveahumanbeinginchargeof
20、bookingtenniscourts?这是什么年代啊1990吗Whatisthis,1990?我猜那就能解释你的肩垫了Iguessthatexplainstheshoulderpads.他是怎么注意到这些的Howdidhenoticethese?嘿这是个惊喜啊Hey,thisisasurprise.是啊我只想聊一阵Yeah,Ijustwantedtochatforasec.你知道让你能听到我说一些事情Youknow,justsoyoucouldhearsomethingsfromme.从我嘴里说出一些语言的东西Verbalthingsfrommymouth.那听起来很奇怪吗Didthatso
21、undweird?一切还好吗是一切还好Iseverythingokay?-Yeah,everythingsfine.首先这是Evelyn-哦你好Firstofall,thisisEvelyn.-Oh,hello.她是我在健康部门的对应同事SheismyHealthDepartmentcounterpartfromEagleton.那边真没多少我能做的Therereallywasntatonofworkformethere.Eagleton人非常的健康Eagletoniansareveryhealthy.哦嗯那你的挑战可能会很有意思了0h,well,thismightbeaveryinteres
22、tingchallengeforyou,因为Pawnee有着首次记录的超重型糖尿病病例becausePawneehastheveryfirstdocumentedcaseofmega-diabetes.”渐冻症7肌萎缩侧索硬化症在美国被称为“卢伽雷症”还有”卢伽雷另一症”的唯一病例AndtheonlyknownoccurrenceofLouGehrigsotherdisease.我们被写进教科书了Wevebeenwrittenaboutintextbooks.谢Evelyn我们办公室里见Thanks,Evelyn,llseeyoubackinmyoffice.我只想再往Leslie的脸里多说几
23、句词IjustneedtotalksomemorewordsintoLesliesface.很高兴见到你Nicetomeetyou.哇真为她难过Wow.Ifeelsorryforher.没人能穿进你的鞋子我是说没人能取代你的AnnImean,nobodycanfillyourshoes,Ann.因为你那双洋娃娃的小脚Withyourtinylittledollfeet.实际上我想跟你说的就是这事Actually,thatswhatIwantedtotalktoyouabout.我呃我准备退后一步I,uh,Imgonnastepdown,然后我准备把我的工作交给Evelyn了andmgonnat
24、urnmyjobovertoEvelyn.啥不啊What?No.是谁鼓动你的Didsomebodyputyouuptothis?是Evelyn吗我就知道她是个魔鬼WasitEvelyn?Iknewshewasamonster.不不不不Chris跟我最近在聊No.No,no,no.ChrisandIhavebeentalking,而我们在非常认真地考虑离开PawneeandwearethinkingveryseriouslyaboutleavingPawnee搬去其他地方开始我们的家庭-andmovingsomewhereelsetostartourfamily-哦天啊看看这个是华夫饼耶Oh,m
25、yGod,lookatthat.Itswaffles!好吃的华夫饼等等Deliciouswaffles.-Wait.我们来尝尝吗是啊来尝尝Shouldwetry?Yeah,let,stry.哈/恩Huh?-Mmm.等等你在说什么啊-尝尝Wait,whatwereyousaying?-Try.享受就好是啊我们开始啦Justenjoy.Yeah.Therewego.所以如果我没听错的话So,ifmhearingyoucorrectly,你在告诉我你没准备离开PawneeyouretellingmeyourenotthinkingaboutleavingPawnee.我是在准备离开Iamthinki
26、ngaboutleaving.这是那种经典的Ann”才不”笑话吗IsthisoneofthoseclassicAnnnotjokes?比如”我要离开Pawnee了才没”1.ike,mleavingPawnee.not!我不那么做的Idontdothat.我有点希望你开始那么做Iwashopingthatyouhadstarted.还不确定只是我们两个都不是Pawnee本地的It,snotdefinite.ItsjustneitherofusarefromPawnee.而我在密歇根有一整个家庭AndIhaveawholefamilyinMichigan.然后Chris也想念大城市的生活了AndC
27、hrisismissinglifeinabiggercity.而我只想AndIjustwanted.跟你聊聊保证你是从我口中听到的totalktoyouaboutitsoyoucouldhearitfromme.你听到那马蹄声了吗-啥Doyouhearthatgalloping?-Hmm?怎-哦天啊-看看这个Wha-oh,mylookatthat!乔拜登半裸骑马谀也太棒了吧JoeBidenonahorseshirtless.Thatsamazing!呃我有一大堆工作要做我超级忙的所以你.Uh,vegotatonofworktodo.msuperbusy,soyou.就自己.canletyour
28、self.你看Ann如果想离开PaWnee我理解的1.ook,ifAnnwantstoleavePawnee,Igetit.我是说谁想呆在世界上最棒的小镇Imean,whowantstostayinthegreatesttownintheworld和她的最好朋友一起永远幸福下去呢withherbestfriendandbehappyforever如果她能抛弃她像旧鞋一样的灵魂姐妹whenshecanabandonhersoulsisterlikeanoldshoe然后搬去一个全是混♥蛋♥的垃圾城市呢andmovetoagarbagecityfullofjerks.我
29、理解啊完全不生气啊Igetit.Nohardfeelings.你必须要给我发短♥信♥啊-我会的Youhavetotextme.-1will.抱歉耽搁r女士们我忙着被叛变伏击呢Sorryforthedelay,ladies,Iwasbusybeingambushedbytreachery.所以你们有机会对比各自职责的笔记了吗Sodidyouhaveachancetocomparenotesonyourrespectiveduties?完全的Totally.Tynny跟我已经就真有情谊TynnyandIhavebeen,like,totallybonding.我们就一直
30、这样叭叭叭叭叭叭叭Wevejustbeenlikeblahblahblahblahblahblahblah!就聊就好多一直1.ike,talking,like,somuchforever.都太可口了我知道啊对吧Itwasallsodelicious.-1know,right?这就像是最好的一天了-我知道啊我照单全收了Thisis,like,thebestdayever.-1know,meatingitallup.哇能看到一段友谊开花真是挺好啊Wow.Itsnicetoseeafriendshipblossoming而不是像一朵屎花一样枯萎凋零了insteadofwiltingawaylikea
31、dyingturdflower.完全的呃我们也想到给对方的这些昵称Totes.Um,wealsocameupwiththesenicknamesforeachother.荡♥妇♥和贱♥人♥SlutandSkank.这有多疯棒啊LezHowcraze-mazingisthat,Lez?嗯你们知道我觉得什么很疯棒吗承诺Well,youknowwhatIthinkiscraze-mazing?Commitment.我在找的人需要患难与共mlookingforsomeonewhosinitforthelonghaul.我们基本上是在建一个新版本的
32、PawneeWearebasicallycreatinganewversionofPawnee,而如果Pawnee要托付给你们之一andifPawneeisgonnacommittooneofyou,你们也需要托付给PawneeyouneedtocommittoPawnee.Tynnyfer你有孩子吗Tynnyfer,doyouhavekids?恶心没有我做了太多嫩化Ew,no.vehadsomuchrejuvenation我觉得即使宝宝尝试也出不来thatIdontthinkababycouldgetoutofthereifittried.确实啊Youknowit.我猜我们可以换成百慕大草吧
33、IguesswecanmakeaswitchtoBermudagrass.每平方英尺只贵八毛钱是吧It,sonly80centsmorepersquarefoot?啥给我给我给我What?Gimmegimmegimme.你想让我在一个口常风力六级的大♥陆&hear性气候里把百慕大草YouwantmetoputBermudagrassinacontinentalclimatethatsasixonBeaufortscale?放在一个没有排水系统的公园里吗Inaparkwithzerodrainage?我要肯塔基州蓝草我要打九折IwantKentuckybluegrass,Iwant
34、a10percentdiscount,我要你对我最好朋友Donna道歉andIwantyoutoapologizetomybestfriendDonna!啊嗨有-我只是在瞎猜啊Yeah,hi.Isthere-andmjustguessinghere-你可能需要的什么药somekindofmedicationthatyoumaybe本来需要吃一堆结果你今天没吃或者吃太多吗needalotofandhavetakennoneoformaybetoomuchoftoday?哦我有-我确实有医疗情况没错了它叫做太关心了Oh,Ihave-Ihaveamedicalconditionallright.It
35、scalledcaringtoomuch!而且根本没救Anditsincurable!我还有湿疹AlsoIhaveeczema.好了EagletonRon介绍一下你自己Okay,EagletonRon,tellmealittleaboutyourself.嗯我爱户外爱自然Well,Ilovetheoutdoors,lovenature.阿门Amen.我是环境保护的忠实信徒mabigbelieverinenvironmentalconservation.回收和自造化肥之类Recyclingandcompostingandthelike.我信任瑜伽也信任杏仁mayoganut.Andmanutnu
36、t.它们做的牛奶很好喝啊兄弟Theymakedeliciousmilks,man.我也是个素食者当然Andmavegan,ofcourse.慢慢转变为免费素食者Slowlyworkingtowardfullfreegan-vegan.天杀的啥是免费素食者啊WhatinGodsnameisfreegan-vegan?你只吃人们在垃圾堆里扔的蔬菜Youonlyeatvegetablesthathavebeenthrownoutinpeoplesdumpsters.你脚上那是啥先生Whatisonyourfoot,sir?我可靠的凉鞋Mytrustysandals.我相信一个人的双脚不该被关在笼中I
37、believeamansfeetshouldremainuncaged.所有的鸡也是样Samegoesforallchickens.嗯EagletonRon我们在Pawnee这里最看重的是忠诚Well,EagletonRon,wehereinPawneevalueloyaltyaboveallelse.所以你会反对在一个对新镇的官方誓言上签字吗Sowouldyoubeopposedtosigninganofficialloyaltypledgetoournewtown?只要那个新镇会接受群居的理想观念Aslongasthatnewtownwereopentotheidealsofcommuna
38、lliving,所有人协力为公益做出贡献everyonepitchesintowardsacommongood.以CatStevens的不朽名言IntheimmortalwordsofCatStevens,英国民谣歌♥手社会活动家如果你想自♥由♥那就自♥由♥Ifyouwanttobefree,befree.我不再喜欢Ron了InolongerlikeRon.ERIC是个很棒的程序E.R.I.C.isanamazingprogram.快速有趣使用简单Fast,funandeasytouse.但没有人或机器能打败TOmHaver
39、ford的只有一件事-Butthere,sonethingnomanormachinecanbeatTomHaverfordat疯讲垃圾话直到我想要的东西到手talkingmadtrashtillIgetwhatIwantEric这家伙是个灾难ThisguyEricisadisaster.你什么意思-就是态度很差Whatdoyoumean?-Justabadattitude.”哦我讨厌这个地方放我出去吧”Oh,Ihatethisplace.Getmeouthere.那种事情而且极不可靠Thatkindofthing.Andunreliable.还种族歧视Andracist.我觉得他可能甚至还蹲
40、过监狱Ithinkhemayhaveevenbeentojail.虽然你知道或许那些只是通常的脸部纹身Although,youknow,maybethosearejustregularfacetattoos.哇那可不好啊Wow.Thatsnotgood.我可能应该跟他聊聊Ishouldprobablytalktohim.嗯让我看看能不能让他向心转意Well,letmeseeifcanturnhimaround.我不想把这个责任推给你你已经有一大堆事要处理了Idontwanttoputthisonyourplate.Youhavealottodealwith.谢了TOm你是最棒的Thanks,T
41、om.Yourethebest.好吧我们来看看Eagleton政♥府&hearts拥有的资产Okay,letstakealookatthislistofassetsownedbytheEagletongovernment.400辆Segway踏板车400Segwayscooters.卖♥♥掉他们没了Sellem.Theyregone.你们工资单上有6名全职咖啡师Youhadsixfull-timebaristasonthepayroll.咖啡师全部开掉Thebaristasaregone.按♥摩♥师也是Asarethemas
42、seurs.还有给按♥摩♥师做咖啡的全职咖啡师也是Andthefull-timebaristawhoprovidedcoffeeforthemasseurs.老乐队又能重组真的太棒了Itisexcellenthavingtheoldbandbacktogetheragain.你猜怎么着Youknowwhat?这得要用箭步蹲来庆祝了Thiscallsforsomecelebratorylunges.One.two.好了Donna肯定会有削减的啊Allright,Donna.Theresgonnahavetobesomecutbacks.我是说你的工作是安全的当然Ime
43、an,yourjobissecure,ofcourse.你基本上是这个部门的胶水了You,rebasicallytheglueofthisdepartment.但我觉得Craig就只能走了ButIthinkCraigsgonnahavetogo.不你应该留下他No,youshouldkeephim.他紧张到疯了但我从没见过任何更在乎这份工作的人Hescrazyintense,butvenevermetanyonewhocaresmoreaboutthisjob.呃Donna我就在这呢Uh,Donna,mrighthere.没开玩笑他可能比你更在乎Nojoke.Hemightcaremoreth
44、anyou.实话说如果我必须要选择他或者我Honestly,ifIhadtochoosebetweenhimandme,我会选他-等等你在说什么啊dchoosehim.-Wait,whatareyousaying?你要考虑走了吗我没计划但我可以Areyouthinkingaboutleaving?-1wasntplanningonit,butIcould.你知道我在西雅图有个公♥寓♥在丹佛有个未婚夫Youknow,IgotthecondoinSeattle,thefianceinDenver.哈-不会长久的Huh?-Itwontlast1.eslie如果你要裁员的话
45、我很乐意回到退休状态的1.eslie,Iwouldbehappytogobackintoretirementifyouhavetocutthestaff.什么甚至Larry都想走了吗What?EvenLarrywantsout?这里到底发生什么了啊Whatthehellishappeninghere?所有人都觉得运转个镇是种游戏Doeseverybodythinkthatrunningatownisjustsomegame人们想来就来想走就走吗wherepeoplecancomeandgoastheyplease?好了好了LeSHe你在生我的气Okey-dokey,Leslie.Youremadatme.别撒到其他所有人的身上不公平Donttakeitoutoneverybodyelse.It,snotfair.我来跟你说什么不公平I1tellyouwhatsnotfair.我今年只能和Ben一起独自看奥斯卡了mgonnahavetowatchtheOscarswithBenalonethisyear.指2012年奥斯卡颁奖礼安吉丽娜朱莉穿的单腿开衩长裙去年你不记得安吉丽娜朱莉和那个腿裙瞬间吗
