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1、辛普森一家第三十五季第七集六十年后的感恩节每日艾派艾派新闻世界报道3D打印机感恩节晚餐蔓越莓墨粉不足这是侯默去世之后的第一个感恩节OurfirstThanksgivingsinceHomerpassedaway.再来点火鸡谢谢Moreturkey,please.还好有他的全息影像在ThankGodwestillhavehishologram.家人们Allright,everyone.把纪念蜡烛亮起来吧Getoutyourremembrancecandles.丽萨奶奶为什么每个感恩节GrannyLisa,whydowelightacandle都要点蜡烛呢everyThanksgiving?这是为
2、了纪念当年的那场Inremembranceofthegreatblackout差点毁掉了小镇的大停电thatalmostdestroyedourtown当时我们不得不亲自用手写字whenweactuallyhadtowritethingsdownbyhand.一切都要从一个寒冷的十一月说起ItstartedonacoldNovemberday.珍贵划掉末世记忆那时还可以在博物馆以外的地方看到雪Backwhenyoucouldactuallyseesnowoutsideofamuseum.一场雪暴来临哈哈我偷看了你的日记巴仔感恩节之前六天秋天再见你好十一月Goodbye,Autumn,hello
3、,Novem-brrr.一场寒潮正在来袭Apowerfulwinterstormisheadedourway.多雪的十一月老侯-你好哇Homie.-Alohaoe.老侯醒醒Homie,wakeup.不是夏威夷从来都不在夏威夷ThisisntHawaii.ItsneverHawaii.一直在破美国ItsjuststupidAmerica.寒潮要来袭了Theresawinterstormcomingin.寒潮Winterstorm.听起来一点也不吓人Irefusetobescared除非他们换个更可怕的名字unlesstheressometerrifyingnewtermforit.这是一场裹挟着
4、爆♥炸♥气旋的极地风暴Itsanarcticblastwithabombcyclone还有可能出现火龙卷andachanceoffirenado,在我们新闻界通常称之为orasweinthenewsbusinesscallit,极地龙卷andArcticonado.没人这么叫肯特Noneofuscallitthat,Kent.别废话阿尼我在推销帽衫呢Pipedown,Arnie.msellinghoodies.订购十件帽衫老侯这是大事Homer,thisisimportant.你说过要把防风窗装上装了没有Didyouputupthestormwindowslikey
5、oupromised?我知道有两件事是完全毫无意义的Therearetwothingsvelearnedarecompletelyworthless:有香味的厕纸以及侯默辛普森的承诺ScentedtoiletpaperandapromisefromHomerSimpson.等我下了班就装llputemuprightafterwork.你要穿这个去上班吗Youregoingtoworkinthat?今天是夏威夷日同事们推举我成为It,sHawaiianday,andtheguyselectedme卡妹哈梅哈国王KingKamehameha.让我们尽情摸鱼吧1.etthegoofingoffatw
6、orkcommence.真恶心是培根Ew,bacon.孩子们我知道天气预报说了最近会很冷Now,kids,Iknowtheforecastsaysitstriple-mittenweather,但好消息是还有不到一周就是火鸡Fl了butthegoodnewsis,it,slessthanoneweektillTurkeyDay.妈妈能不能别说火鸡日了Mom!CanwepleasenotcallitTurkeyDay?你庆祝的节日是屠♥杀♥的纪念日Yourecelebratingtheslaughterofalivingthing.丽莎你总是居♥杀&he
7、arts;掉别人的兴致1.iSa,youalwaysslaughterthemood.知道吗现在有很多好吃的人造火鸡肉Youknow,therearesomeamazingfauxturkeystoeatnow.除了你没别人知道Saidnoone,ever.现在虽热还在打磨口味Rightnow,they,reperfectingthetaste,但在未来人造火鸡一定会非常美味butinthefuture,fauxturkeyswilltastereallygood.并没有还是难吃Nope.Stillsucks.但是今年我的菜单已经在冰箱上了Butforthisyear,mymenuisalre
8、adyuponthefridge.它对我来说意义重大Anditreallymeansalottome.糖霜肉汤培根裹火腿丽莎的扁豆糊扶墙出烤火鸡四十磅重的苹果糖溃烤火鸡这是我们第一次跟阿麦一起过的感恩节ItsourfirstThanksgivingwithMaggie.我终于没有怀孕了所以能喝酒mfinallynotpregnant,soIcandrink.我要吃鸡腿Icalladrumstick.想得美臭小子Nicetry,boy,但我们同意了两根鸡腿都是我的butweagreedIdgetbothdrumsticks合同自打你出生以来的每个感恩节年年如此everyThanksgivingo
9、nthedayyouwereborn.不公平我太小了没法签字Aw,nofair.Iwastooyoungtosignthat.我认为此处是您的玉足吧Ibelievethisisyourfoot,isitnot?我还公♥证♥过了-你这个老AndIhaditnotarized.-Whyyougiant.可是最糟糕的事还在路上Buttheworstwasyettocome.致使感恩节超越圣诞节和我的生日ThatThanksgivingwouldsurpassChristmasandmybirthday成为一年中最悲伤的日子asthesaddestdayoftheyear.
10、夏威夷日没有外供芋泥饼春田核电站保持关闭欢迎或者用夏威夷的方式说欢迎Welcome,orastheysayinHawaii：Welcome.你或许在想为什么我们选择这个特殊的日子Youreprobablywonderingwhywechosethisspecialday来举办这个庆典为我的员工们tohavethiscelebrationofyou,myworkers以及亲爱的挚爱的朋友们anddear,dearfriends.史密瑟斯我需要一个转移注意力的办法Smithers,Ineedadistractionsothoseunionizedmoney-sucks几天前摄像机没在工作让这些加入
11、了工会的吞金兽看不见dontseethenewcheaperreplacements我带来取代他们工作的新便宜货mbringingintotaketheirjobs.要不我们办个夏威夷日WhydontwethrowaHawaiianday?阿罗哈哈哈Aloha-ha-ha-ha.现在享受吧放松吧感激吧Nowenjoy,relax,mahalo,怀揣信念工作稳定无可取代knowingyourjobsaresecureandIcouldneverreplaceyou.这话说得真是坦坦荡荡别无川心Nothingulterioraboutthatstatement.我们爱你Weloveyou!这就是永
12、别啦Thatsthelastwellseeofthem.顶级机密欢迎未加入公会的工人们Welcome,nonunionworkers.在旧时代他们会称呼你们为无赖Inanolderera,theydcallyouscabs.如今你们不过是没有福利的朋友们Nowyourejustfriendswithoutbenefits.* 看好了史密瑟斯我有个想法* Seehere,Smithers,heresmytheory* 有关如何剥削劳动人♥民♥* Ofhowtocutdownwhatpeopleearn* 每个工人都不该加入公会* Everyworkershouldbe
13、nonunion*在下就是大聪明老蒙伯恩斯*ThafsthegeniusofMontyBurns*核废料*他们没有健康保险也没有牙科检查*Theyvegotnohealthcare,theyvegotnodental*只有一个卫生间他们得轮流上*Theresjustonebathroom,sotheytaketurns*每一分钱每一滴权力* Andallthemoneyandallthepower* 都被老蒙伯恩斯抓得紧紧的* AreintheclutchesofMontyBurns*哈利路亚*Hallelujah*让我们弟躬屈膝*MakeUSgrovel*跪求您的能量*Foryourener
14、gy* 加速核心加速核心啊兄弟们* Speedupthecore,speedupthecore,man*67%效率* 加速核心加速核心啊兄弟们*Speedupthecore,speedupthecore,man*加速得劲加速得劲加速*Speedupthe,speedupthe,speedupthe,speedup*搞它核心*Thecore*检测器做点手脚视察员给点贿赂*Rigdetectorsandbribeinspectors*辐射检测器*跳过培训因为没人要学*Skipthetrainingcausenoonelearns*就算人没那么聪明又怎样*Evenpeoplewhoainttoocl
15、ever*反应堆芯*愿意永远拿最低工资*Canworkforminimumwageforever*把坏零件粘一块*Brokenpartscanbegluedtogether*为老蒙伯恩斯打工*ForMontyBurns*老蒙伯恩斯老蒙伯恩斯*MontyBurns,MontyBurns*老蒙伯恩斯*MontyBurns*休息结束回去上班史密瑟斯这些非工会工人怎么唱得这么好Smithers,howdothesenonunionavocadotoastssingsowell?他们都毕业于Oh,they,reallgraduatesof著名大学戏剧专业prestigiouscollegetheater
16、programs.这些人是茱莉亚音乐学院的ThatentiresectionisJulliard.*不干这个就得当老师*Itsthisorteach.该打扫一下这里了Somebodyshouldcleantheseup.我推荐卡妹哈梅哈国王InominateKingKamehameha.我开始觉得这个所谓的国王就是个mstartingtothinkthiskingthingisjustatrick方便使唤我的骗局togetmetodoallthework.不不这是莫大的荣耀我的受骗国王No,no.It,saverygreathonor,yourgullibility.绝对安全垃圾处理区反应堆芯
17、不会犯这种错误的Whew!Notgonnamakethatmistake.垃圾已被安全处理Wastedisposedsafely.多谢Thankyou.现在该给杰夫贝索斯和埃隆马斯克打电♥话♥了NowtocallJeffBezosandElonMusk让他们归还我andreclaimmytitleof世界最自私亿万富翁称号♥theworldsmostself-servingbillionaire.我电♥话♥去哪插电WherecanIpluginmyphone?老板这个插口恐怕已经过载了Uh,sir,Imafraidwealr
18、eadyover-ampedonthatoutlet.再逼逼我让你过载Illover-ampyou.油性布游离中子窗帘快灭火快灭火Putitout!Putitout!*我们不知道该怎么灭*Wedon,tknowhow.*但我们可以围着它跳斯特拉文斯基的火鸟ButwecandanceStravinskysFirebirdAroundit.侯默你刚才做了什么Homer,whatdidyoudointhere?我做了我该做的啊IdidexactlywhatIwassupposedtodo.请注意核电站的员工们Attention,plantemployees.看到没她会告诉你See?Shelltell
19、you.核电站即将融毁Plantmeltdownimminent.请利用这段时间跟自己的神做做祷告PleasetakethistimetogetrightwithyourGod.现在请把各自的工牌放嘴里Nowpleaseputyournametaginsideyourmouth以便头骨的识别fortheeasyidentificationofyourskull.工会职工出口非工会职工出口你去哪Whereareyougoing?寻求救援Uh,togethelp.别丢下我蒙叔叔Dontleaveme,UncleMonty!史密瑟斯你给架子上油了吗上了老板Smithers,didyougreaset
20、hestruts?-Yes,sir.开什么玩笑Yarr.youkiddingme?!火已被扑灭Fireextinguished.核电站已毁Plantruined,你们现在都失业了andyouareallnowoutofwork.感恩节快乐HappyThanksgiving.没电r也没希望来电rWehadnopowerandnoprospectsofgettingany.猜猜今天的到场人数正确答案是多少-我们永远也不会知道了Whatisit?Whatisit?-Wellneverknow!但当文明受到威胁时Butwhenevertheresathreattocivilization,好人们总会放
21、下分歧goodpeoplealwayssetasidetheirdifferences然后找一个替罪羊andblameascapegoat.好吧那到底是谁搞砸了Allright,so,whoscreweduphere?侯默吗-侯默侯默侯默Homer?-Homer.Homer.Homer.我同意Iagree.我们应该找一个背锅的找谁呢Weshouldfindascapegoat,butwho?你你你You.You.You.简直不敢相信Icantbelievethis.我那么爱你们Iloveyouguys,你们却想背叛我andnowyouwanttothrowmeunderthebus?好主意Gr
22、eatidea.春田核电站扔到公共汽车下只是一种修辞手法Hey!ThrowingsomeoneunderthebusIsafigureofspeech.类似我明天开始减肥1.ike,llstartmydiettomorrow,或者我平等地爱我的每一个孩子orIlovemychildrenequally.好吧侯默你赢了Okay,Homer.Fairenough.给你十秒逃脱时间Ten-secondheadstart!十九八七Ten,nine,eight,seven.至少应该按秒钟节奏数啊YoucouldveatleastdoneMississippi!谁Who,sthere?别过来我有胡椒喷雾W
23、atchit.1havepepperspray.胡椒喷雾Mmm.pepperspray.侯默Homer?我安装好了所有的防风窗Iputinallthestormwindows,我换了所有手电筒的电池andIboughtbrand-newbatteriesforalltheflashlights.侯默突然变靠谱的异常举动Therewasnothingthatalarmedmymothermore让我的母亲感到恐慌thanahelpfulHomer.侯默辛普森大停电和你有关系吗HomerSimpson,didyouhaveanythingtodowiththeblackout?每个人都觉得是我的错
24、但我什么都没做EverybodythinksIdid,butIdidnt.但我不在乎因为你还相信我马姬对吧ButIdon,tcarebecauseyoubelieveme,Marge,dontyou?我在努力mtrying.差点还好没砸中Eh.Couldvebeenworse.爸爸又一次惹全镇的人生气了Onceagain,thewholetownismadatDad.巴仔你知道一个一般家庭Bart,doyouknowhowmanyfuriousmobs平均要面对多少个暴民吗theaveragefamilyhastocontendwith?六个Hmm,six?零个零Zero.Zero!所以是你干
25、的Youdiddothis.马姬每一段婚姻都会经历这样个时刻Marge,ineverymarriage,aspousegetstosayonetime,你一定要相信我youhavegottobelieveme.是的但你已经说过了18次了Yes,andyouvedoneit18times.看着我的眼睛1.ookinmyeyes.你以前也说过这句Youvesaidthatbefore.握住我的手看着我的眼晴Holdmyhandandlookinmyeyes.你以前也说过这句Youvesaidthatbefore.握着我的手看着我的眼睛感受我的心跳Holdmyhand,lookinmyeyesand
26、feelmyheart.另外你还能检杳我的前列腺Also,ifyoucanexaminemyprostate.好吧好吧Allright,allright.我不确定Idontknow.快离婚妈妈Mom!我本来想射他眼睛的Iwasaimingforhiseye.爸爸妈妈请给我们希望Mom,Dad,pleasegiveushope.像父母该做的那样Itswhatparentsdo.别担心孩子们政♥府♥会帮助我们的Dontworry,kids.Thegovernmentwillhelp.政♥府♥已经自身难保了Thegovernmentcannot
27、helpitself,春田市政厅别说你们了letaloneyou.我刚被授权委托了一项研究Ihavejustbeenauthorizedtocommissionastudy一项关于研究是否应该委托进行的研究onwhetherornotastudyshouldbecommissioned.终于啊谢谢Finally.Thankyou.春田市政厅为了让大家忘记烦恼So,totakeyourmindsoffyourtroubles,我提议举办点游戏Iproposesomekindofgames.饥饿游戏或者就鱼游戏Eitherhunger*orsquid.那明天就开始玩Withthatinmind,t
28、omorrowwewillbegin全员刺杀苗浩斯的游戏吧witheveryoneattemptingtokillMilhouse.终于选到我了Ifinallygotpickedfirst.好耶Boo-yeah!吃我一招Takethis.侯默苏克斯还我砖头做我回头客刻不容缓侯默苏克斯还我砖头爵士音乐会没有电脑也没有电子书干点什么呢Nolaptop,nokindle.WhatdoIdo?读本书吧llreadabook.原上小屋也许会有所得呢Imightlearnsomething.快乐的拓荒女孩Thispioneergirlwashappy.我才不快乐mnothappy.这简直是地狱Thisis
29、anightmare.我爸因为威斯康星州太繁华MypamovedusoutOfWisconsin所以带全家迁走becausehethoughtitwastoofancy.威斯康星Wisconsin?还有要羡慕我之前Andbeforeyouwanttobeme,我问你answerthis：之前杀过鸡吗Didyoueverkillachicken?不好意思我是素食者Sorry,mavegetarian.我以前也是Sowas1.就在这一刻我开始写我的编年册ThatasthemomentIbeganmyremembrancebook.在我印象里我是这样讲的Andinmymemory,Isoundlik
30、ethis.拓荒年代里人们被一些更崇高的什么所支撑Peopleweremadeofstrongerstuffinpioneerdays,直到被巨大的痛苦压垮39岁去世untiltheydiedofagonyat39.至少我们可以度过一个感恩节Well,ifnothingelse,IcantrytosaveThanksgiving.没有吃的了Thefoodisgone.侯默你有什么要说的吗Homer,isthereanexplanation?啊有的Yes,thereis.我-别解释I.-Nomoreexplanations.我不听Icanttakeit.爸爸我好难过该怎么办Dad,mreally
31、sad.WhatdoIdo?不知道啊出去堆个雪人Idontknow.Gooutside.Buildasnowman.我不能把又一个无辜生命带到这可悲的世上Icantbringanotherlifeintothisawfulworld.快去Shoo!还有点电Ihavealittlejuice.我可以叫技术支持Icancalltechsupport.技术支持安息吧网络时代想念互联网了吗YouthinkyoumisstheInternet?简报简报Hearye,hearye.最新黑客帝国十分令人失望ThelatestMatrixmoviewasseverelydisappointing.别吃红色药丸
32、或蓝色药丸Donottaketheredpillorthebluepill.不用磕也能活在这个世界里Youneednodoseforthisone.发送推特Endoftweet.好我点赞Hey,like.我还要关注你Infact,mgoingtofollowyou.好免打扰Yes,mute.点赞关注来一波免打扰免打扰Givingyoulikesandfollowingyou.-Mute,mute.老谋子酒馆侯默达夫啤酒你你还敢来You!Howdareyoushowyourfaceinhere.老谋子是我Moe,itsme.在所有的畅饮和玩笑话之下Andbeneathallthedrinking
33、andthejokes,我们有着真实的情感关系wehavearealrelationship.而它应该是有意义的Andthatmeanssomething.你到底想说什么Whatareyougettingat?得了伙计Comeon,man.内心深处我们还是有点爱着彼此的Deepdown,wekindofloveeachother.达夫啤酒老谋子酒馆我也爱你1.oveyou,too.彻底没希望了Itshopeless.这镇上每个人都恨我们Everyoneinthistownhatesus.有人没那么恨我带了柴火来Butsomenotasmuch.Ibroughtfirewood.爷爷你怎么做到的
34、Whoa,Grampa.How,dyouscorethat?你要知道的是我在就像这样的残酷环境长大Foryourinformation,Igrewupinacruelworldlikethis,大约在三十或者五十年代诸如此类backinthe,30sor,50s,orwhatevermakessensenow.现在我给你们弄弄炉火Nowletmegetthatfiregoingforyou.爷爷你救了我们Grampa,yousavedus!老人们总有很多智慧Well,oldpeoplehavealotofwisdom只要你花时间去ifyoutakethetimeto.她已经谢谢你了Shesai
35、dthankyou.我们幸福的不得了Weweremorethanhappy.我们又成了一家人Wewereafamilyagain.怎么回事Oh,whatwasthat?接着睡吧亲爱的Gobacktosleep,sweetie.明天是周日TomorrowsSunday.你到四点才需要开始忙家务Youdonthavetostartyourchorestill4:00A.M.谢谢爷爷Thanks,Grampa.我们终于要彻底摆脱侯默辛普森了We,llfinallyberidofthatHomerSimpsononceandforall.然后我就成了镇上的白♥痴♥Andth
36、enllbethetownidiot.天啊”全城庆祝炸飞辛普森一家”Oh,myGod!CitycelebratesexplosionoftheSimpsons.全城庆祝驱逐辛普森一家那是“驱逐”辛普森一家ThatsexpulsionoftheSimpsons.就是说我们被永久除名了Whichmeanstheykickedusoutforever.可恶为什么人们不肯相信我是无辜的Damnit!Whywontpeoplebelieveminnocent?彻底无望了Oh,itshopeless.太酷了Whoa,cool!我想还有一件好事Iguessthere,sonegoodthing.至少不再会有
37、愚蠢的Atleasttheresnomorestupid.你好啊邻居Howdy,neighbor.我让他们把我搬到你家旁边的Iaskedthemtomovemyhouserightnexttoyours.至少你相信我弗兰德斯Well,atleastyoubelieveme,Flanders.对但我也相信存在一个谁也看不到的圣灵Yes,butIalsobelieveinaHolyGhostnoonecansee.以圣父圣子和诡异的另一位之名InthenameoftheFatherandtheSonandthespookyplusone.我两夜没合过眼了Ihaventsleptfortwonigh
38、ts.因为我要么选择为那个谎言冲你发怒Becausemychoiceiseithertobefuriousatyouforthelie,要么相信你并感觉自己傻乎乎ortobelieveyouandfeellikeafool.好好我还是相信你Okay,okay,mgoingtobelieveit.现在我很痛苦Ugh.Nowmactuallyinpain.不付出就没收获Nopain,nogain.我不能再凭空信任你Icantgoonfaithanymore.要我相信你总要有个理由Ihavetohaveareasontobelieveyou.还真有我的老天Thereis.Oh,myGod.还记得你觉
39、得是我吃了冰箱的食物吗DoyourememberwhenyouthoughtIatethefoodinthefridge?记得Yes?我没吃Well,1didn,t.我把食物放在雪下面保鲜rIputitunderthesnowtokeepitfresh.火鸡就像丽莎那本愚蠢的指南说的那样1.ikeinLisasstupidpioneerbook.我的天Oh,myGod.你说的是实话Youretellingthetruth.如果这件事你没说谎Andifyouretellingthetruthaboutthat,那你说的就都是真的thenyouretellingthetruthaboutevery
40、thing!我的老侯Ooh,Homie.但如果你是无辜的傻瓜Butifyou,reaninnocentidiot,而不是有罪的笨蛋insteadofaguiltynitwit,我们要怎么证明这点呢howdoweproveit?找到那个幕后真凶Byfindingthepersonwhowasbehindit.只有可能是一个人干的Andtheresonlyonemanwhoitcouldbe.本镇的反派Thetownvillain.路易吉1.uigi!不是是伯恩斯No!Burns!史密瑟斯我又一次逃过了正义的制裁Smithers,veeludedjusticeyetagain.希望我的报应永远缺席
41、Maymyuppancenevercome.别急Notsofast!我们知道你干了什么Weknowwhatyoudid.行吧但你们也正好踩在我的陷阱活门上Yes,butyou,realsostandingontopofmytrapdoor.这门.没电用不了先生It,uh,doesntworkwithoutpower,sir.好吧史密瑟斯手动开门Fine.Smithers,doitmanually.你们不能动啊你们赖皮Youcantmove.That,scheating.伙计们把他带走Takehimaway,boys.用儿童手铐阿卢Getthekiddiecuffs,Lou.该死Curses!我
42、得为我♥十♥的事负责吗IhavetotakeresponsibilityforsomethingIdid?荒谬Ridiculous.我们浪费了板砖下地狱去吧老蒙该在地狱里燃烧杀了侯默划掉伯恩斯高尚的灵魂让渺小的人变得伟岸蒙哥马利伯恩斯我们将给你MontgomeryBurns,wewillgiveyouthestiffestpunishment任何亿万富翁所能面临的最严厉的惩罚anybillionaireevergets.一笔你可以轻松支付的罚金Afineyoucaneasilypay.我说“我赚得比罚金更多”的时候Imakemorethanthatinthetime
43、就已经赚r比罚金更多的钱了ittookmetosay,Imakemorethanthat.Ha!杀了侯默划掉伯恩斯我好高兴你们又喜欢我了msogladyouguyslovemeagain.我们还是有点生气Werestillalittlemad.这次的事让我们想起来Thisbroughtbackalotofmemories你之前干过的很多事ofstuffyouactuallydiddo.还记得吗侯默我本来是要当正畸医生的Remember,Homer,Iwasgonnabeanorthodontist.但因为你这事没门了Butnomore,thankstoyou.每个人都和我们共进感恩节晚餐怎么样
44、WhatifyouallhaveThanksgivingdinnerwithus?你们只要帮我们把房♥子放回原处就行Allyouhavetodoisputourhousebackwhereitwas.我就知道不会只是吃个晚饭永远有附加条件Itsneverjustdinner.Theresalwayssomething.在这之后的年岁里Andintheyearsthatfollowed,火鸡还有过其他停电和暴♥动♥事件therewouldbeotherblackoutsandothermobs.但大家再也没怪过我父亲Buttheyneverblamedmyfatheragain.巴仔你的故事太长了我无聊死了Bart?-YourstorywassolongIdiedofboredom.而且我终F能吃上鸡腿了Also,Ifinallygotadrumstick.现在是我的了Minenow.爸爸带着一个橘子Pahadwalkedbackafter23miles走了三十七公里回去过圣诞节withanorang
