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1、前情提要Previouslyon.在从婴儿生父那里得到确切回复之前赋予你们对婴儿的临时监护权mgrantingyoutemporarycustodyuntilwecangetastraightanswerfromthebirthfather.加布丽尔得到了她想要的东西Gabriellegotexactlywhatshewanted.伊迪不知道这事IfEdiedoesntknow,不代表你没有背着她和我偷♥情♥thenthatmeansthatyoujustcheatedonherwithme.苏珊又一次被骗了Susangotfooledagain.我也是SA的成员m
2、alsoamemberofs.A.而布里发现了太多的AndBreegottoomuch.性♥爱♥互助者协会Sexaddictsanonymous.太多的信息Information.卡尔梅尔并不经常祈祷而当他祈祷的时候KarlMayerdidntprayoften,butwhenhedid,通常是为求上帝赐予力量与人分手itwasusuallytoaskforgodshelpinbreakingupwithawoman还有要上帝原谅他andtosparehimthenastydramathatusuallyaccompanied分手时的冷酷和出人意料的离开suchca
3、llousandunexpecteddepartures.多年来卡尔电掉了几十个女友Overtheyears,Karlhaddumpeddozensofwomen,其中没有一人能够料到分手的来临andnotoneofthemhadeverseenitcoming.每一次撤退都悄无声息Everyretreatwasalwaysmeticulouslyplanned,rightdowntothepersonalizedstationary,成功地甩掉那些不想离开他的女人hencehisrecordOfsuccessfulgetawaysfromwomenwhodidnotwanttoseehimg
4、o.所以当他决定和伊迪布利特分手的时候SowhenhedecidedtobreakupwithEdiebrit卡尔又一次向上帝祈祷帮他避免一切不必要的悲剧Karlprayedtogodyetagaintohelphimavoidalltheunnecessarydrama.但不幸的是UnfortunatelyforKarl.上帝正想着Godwasinthemood.找点乐子Tobeentertained.快啊！Comeon!这该死的是什么？伊迪亲爱的冷静一点Whatthehellisthis?Edie,baby,calmdown.伊迪让我们面对现实1.etsbehonestwithoursel
5、ves,Edie.我们在一起以来一直都很不开心？Wehaventbeenhappyinalongtime?你是谁啊？要你来告诉我我开不开心WhoareyoutotellmeIhaventbeenhappy,你这个卑鄙的混♥蛋♥我一直都很开心youmiserablesonofabitch?Ihavebeenecstatic!好吧我才是那个不开心的人Okay.I-mtheonewhohasntbeenhappy,then.那你为什么要向我求婚我不知道Theywhydidyouproposetome?Idontknow.我已经告诉镇上每个姐妹Ihavetoldeveryw
6、omaninthistown我们就要结婚了而你却对我说thatwearegettingmarried,andallyouhavetosaytome我不知道那你还想我说什么呢is,Idontknow?Oh,whatelsedoyouwantmetosay?对不起msorry.发生了什么事？是不是你有了别人？Whatsgoingon?Istheresomeoneelse?我的上帝Oh,mygod.混♥蛋♥Oh,crap.快点,快点,快点啊！Comeon,comeon,comeon!当他坐在那卡尔不禁想问Ashesatthere,Karlcouldnthelpbutwon
7、der为什么上帝要抛弃他whygodhadforsakenhim.他从来没想过上帝Itneveroccurredtohimthatgod.可能是女人Mightbeawoman.上帝,请赐予我宁静God,GrantmetheSerenity来接受不能改变的事情toacceptthethingsIcannotchange,赐予我勇气来改变我能够改变的事情thecouragetochangethethingsIcan赐予我智慧来分辨两者的差别.andthewisdomtoknowthedifference.美景镇喑酒者互诫协会的成员ThemembersoftheFairviewchapterofa.
8、A.在每次聚会结束时都要祈祷Endedeverymeetingwithaprayer.他们大部分人祈求上帝帮助自己Andwhilemostwereaskinggodforhelp抵♥制♥诱惑inresistingtemptation,布里.范德坎普BreeVanDeKamp却在想一些相当邪恶的事情wasbusythinkingthoughtsthatweredownrightsinful.来世与神同在阿门Withhiminthenext.Amen.持续来参加活动只要你努力了就一定会成功Keepcomingback.Itworksifyouworkit.阿门Amen.
9、我想你喜欢这出歌♥剧吧Ithinkyoudlovetheopera.音乐和歌♥声都那么有激♥情♥Themusicandthevoices.Itsjustallso.passionate.是啊，一个300磅的女高音勾引着一群秃头男高音Yeah,a300-poundsopranoseducingbaldingtenors.简直太棒了你在嘲笑我？Thatdbehot.Youmakingfunofme?嗯？Huh?布里Bree.怎么？Yes?可能有一点Maybealittlebit.你们在干吗？Whatsgoingonhere?克劳德？Claud
10、e?我们有约在先，记得吗？Wemadeplans,remember?对不起我只是msorry.Iwasjustabout.我看到你想干吗了Yeah,Isawwhatyouwerejustabouttodo.抱歉彼得但是这位是？msorry,Peter,but,uh,whoisthis?这是克劳德他是我的互助伙伴ThisisClaude.He,smysponsor.你嗜酒者互助会的伙伴？Oh,youra.A.Sponsor?不其他协会的互助伙伴No.mhisothersponsor.是我的性瘾Formysexaddiction.该死的彼得我跟你说过什么？Oh.Damnit,Peter.Whatd
11、idItellyou?避免欲望的诱惑Avoidlusttriggers.那她是什么？Andwhatisshe?拜托别这样伙计Comeon,dontdothis,man.她就是一个欲望的诱惑一个欲望的诱惑Shesalusttrigger.Alusttrigger!对不起我不明白那是什么意思Um,excuseme.Idontknowwhatthatmeans,但是请你别再说那个词了butcouldyoupleasestopsayingit?你的筹码呢?给我Wheresyourchip?Giveittome.你还记得我们刚认识时你有多堕落吗？Doyourememberhowlowyoudsunkwh
12、enwemet?这代表了12个月的艰苦努力Thisrepresents12monthsofhardwork,别向你的欲望屈服notgivingintoyoururges.如果你想为这个女人放弃所有的努力Nowifyouwannablowallthatonthiswoman,那现在就告诉我省得我浪费时间justtellmenowsoIcanstopwastingmytime在你身上workingwithyou.我不想放弃Idon,twanttoblowit.很好Good.那和这位美丽的女士说再见吧Thentelltheprettyladygood-bye而且你以后不能再和她有任何联&hearts
13、;系♥andthatyoucan,tsocializewithheranymore.快点说完Anddoitquick.我饿了mhungry.坏消息Badnews.艾得让我们通宵加班Edwantsustopushthroughtonight搞定埃德尔斯坦的房♥地♥产♥项目andfinishtheedelsteinrealtypitch.但我们不是两周后才做展示吗Butwerenotpresentingforanothertwoweeks.明天再做不行吗？Whydontwestarttomorrow?但这怎么能帮艾得解决他的婚姻问题呢？什么？
14、Buthowwouldthathelpedavoidhismaritalproblems?What?他说得对我听到艾得和弗兰在电♥话♥里吵架Oh,hesright.IhearedfightingwithFranonthephone每天都能听到这就能解释我们为什么老加班了everydaythroughtheofficewalls.Thatwouldexplainallourworkinghours.但你幸运逃过一劫斯加沃达琳和他商量过了Yeah,butyouluckedout,Scavo.Darlenetalkedhimintocutting那些白天没有照顾孩子的人可
15、以回家thepeoplewhohavekidsindaycareloose.太好了在他没改变主意之前我们赶快走吧Hey,great.1.etsgobeforehechangeshismind.但是不包括你副总裁女士Butthatdoesn,tincludeyou,missseniorv.P.艾得让你马上去会议室你在开玩笑！Edwantsyouintheconferenceroomnow.Yourekidding!你是他的保护伞勒奈特他在你就得在Yourehissecurityblanket,1.ynette.Hestays,youstay.杰瑞你能帮我把孩子放到车里吗？)erry,canyou
16、helpmegetthekidsdowntothecar?好的Oh.Yeah.谢谢杰瑞不谢Thanks,jer.Sure.勒奈特？什么事？1.ynette?Yeah?把那些版面整理一下好吗？Getthosemock-upstogether,willyou?杰瑞我不知道你有个孩子Jerry,Ididntknowyouhadakid.是的非婚生子Y-Yeah,urn,outofwedlock.那明天见Oh.So.seeyouinthemorning.对不起我迟到了msorrymlate.发生了什么事？卡尔和伊迪分手了Whatsgoingon?KarIbrokeupwithEdie.噢天啊！Oh,m
17、ygod.是的很明显他有了别的女人Yeah,apparently,hewasseeingsomeone.真的吗？Really?他说是谁吗？Didhesaywhoitwas?我知道是谁1knowwhosheis.她是一个喜欢给男人口♥交♥的贱女人Shesaman-eating,scum-suckingho-bag.不他没说No,hedidnotsay.你知道卡尔甩掉你时Youknow,whenKarldumpedyou,我想那都是你的错Ithoughtthatitwasallyourfault.是的以前我想是你太烦人或者床上功夫很差Yeah,Ifiguredthat.
18、Youwereanagorbadinbed.但是现在我我知道你也是一个受害者ButnowI.nowIseethatyouwerejustavictim,too.我们是同病相怜苏珊Wehaveabond,Susan.就像我们是姐妹一样It,slikeweresisters.只是一个漂亮一个难看Theresevenaprettyoneandanuglyone.伊迪！Edie!不我只是想说卜尔把我们俩搞得一团糟No,ImjustsayingthatKarlscrewedusboth.是的难以置信Yes,likeyouwouldn,tbelieve.姐♥妹♥们&hearts
19、;我完全同意痛斥你们的前男友但是我们应该Guys,mallforbashingexes,butletssave留一点恨意给那个淫♥荡♥的女人alittleofourhateforhispartnerincrime.那个女人Theotherwoman.Mm-hmm.是的她们总是有借口Yeah!Youknow,theyrealwayscomingupwiththeseexcuses为她们破坏别人家庭辩解tojustifybeingahome-wrecker.就是!就像他不会和我在一起Exactly!1.ike,hewouldn,thavebeenwithme如果他能在家
20、得到满足ifhewasgettin,itathome.是的亲爱的你才是我一生的爱Yeah,honey,youretheloveofmylife.她只是后备轮胎Shesjusttherunner-up.看孩子在做什么真可爱Oh,look,thebabysdoingsomethingreallycute.她在睡觉Shessleeping.像天使一样1.ikeanangel.我们都知道卡尔就是一只狗1.ook,IthinkweallknowthatKarlisadog.Mm.我是说但是如果这些姨♥子♥Imean,butlet,sfaceit.Ifthesetramps没把
21、美食放在外面诱惑他他不可能去吃（指不光是卡尔的问题）werentlayingoutthebuffet,hewouldntbechowingdown.嗯每种情况都不同Well,everysituationisdifferent,而且我们在知道实情之前很难去判断anditshardtojudgeuntilweknowallthedetails.而这.Which.很明显我不知道我怎么会知道呢？ObviouslyIdontknow,becausehowwouldIknow?她是个淫♥荡♥下♥贱♥的姨♥子♥肯定是Shes
22、aslutty,sluttywhore.Absolutely.是的Yeah.你确定她需要这个？我刚刚给她涂了防晒霜Areyousuresheneedsthat?Ijustputsunscreenonher.是的要带上帽子这是一整套的Yes,sheneedsthebonnet.Itcompletestheoutfit噢加布看在上帝的份上Oh,forgodssakes,Gaby.虽然她还小但现在开始打扮不会太早Shesnevertooyoungtostartaccessorizing.而且今天所有的邻居都在Besides,alltheneighborsareouttoday,我想让他们知道我们有多
23、开心让他们羡慕我们andIwantthemtoseehowhappyweareandwishtheywereus.嘿Hey.嗯孩子很漂亮Uh,thebabysabeauty.是啊我们有点溺爱她Wethinkso,butwe,realittlebiased.喔她的眼睛和我一样Oh,WOw,she,sgotmyeyes.哦Huh?我是戴尔Oh,mDale.戴尔赫尔姆我是孩子的亲生父亲Dalehelm.mthebabysbirthfather.嗯你好戴尔Uh,well,hi,Dale.很高兴见到你Nicetomeetyou.很多人都在找你Alotofpeoplehavebeenlookingfory
24、ou.是的我知道律师和法♥院♥的那些人Yeah,Iknow,lawyersandstuff.我在佛罗里达州有点事情耽搁了一段时间IgotkindaheldupinFloridalongerthanIthought.春假对吧？Springbreak,right?是的伙计我们整天无所事事Yeah.Oh,man,wewerewasted24/7.然后我收到短♥信♥就以为是ThenIgotthemessageandjustthought我的朋友在捉弄我那些混♥蛋♥!myfriendsweremessingwithme.
25、Thosebuttwads!好吧他在这里是个好事情Ahem.Well,itsagoodthingheshere.我们可以带他到律师办公室WecantakehimtotheIawyer,soffice,然后你可以把监护权完全转移给我们andyoucansignoverfullcustodytous.好的Okay.嗯关于这个事情Yeah,uh,thethingaboutthatis,我想要回孩子mgonnawantthebaby.拜托两位我们没必要把这件事弄得太难看Comeon,youguys.Wedonthavetomakethisugly.你想抢走我们的孩子!怎么可能不难看！Youretryi
26、ngtotakeourbaby!Howisitnotgonnabeugly?继续走加布别理他Justkeepwalking,Gaby.Dontengagehim.听我说索利斯先生1.isten,Mr.Solis.不你听着!我们是监护人No,youlisten!Weweregrantedcustody.如果你想要她你和法官去说吧Ifyouwanther,youtalktothejudge.怎么这么慢？他们让我和法官去说Hey,whatistheholdup?TheytoldmeIgottatalktoajudge.你该死的在这里干吗弗兰克？这是他的孩子把孩子给他！Whatthehellareyo
27、udoinghere,frank?Itshisbaby.Giveittohim!我才不给呢!索利斯夫人我能看看孩子吗？1.ikehell!Hey,Mrs.Solis,canIseethebaby?不行!戴尔快点动手！No!DaleJustdoitalready!我不想绑♥架♥孩子干吗不?他们就绑♥架♥了孩子mnotjustgonnakidnapitWhynot?Theydid!这是你的孩子快动手！Itisyourbaby.Justtakeit!你试试看Tryit.弗兰克？Frank?上车笨蛋Getin,youmoron.不过你们好像对她很
28、不错蠢驴！Anyways,itlookslikeyouredoingagoodjobwithher.Dumb-ass!她看上去很干净Sheseemsclean.就像我说的我们在这里住得很开心AndlikeIsaid,wehavebeenveryhappyhere,我想你们也会的andmsureyouwillbe,too.我们都很喜欢是的Well,wejustloveit.Yeah.等楼梯修好了我带你们看地下室Oncethestairsarerepaired,llshowyouthebasement.怎么回事？What,sgoingon?房♥子刚刚卖♥♥
29、了Thehousejustsold.开始收拾行李吧Startpacking.你们为什么不能把卡博放到收&hearts溶♥所♥去呢？WhydontyoujustputCalebinaninstitution?他早晚都要去那我妈不肯让陌生人照顾他Itswherehebelongsanyway.Mymomwouldneverletstrangerstakecareofhim.那你为什么不报♥警♥?Thenwhydontyoucallthepolice?那就不是随她说了算了如果我报♥警♥Thenit,snotuptoh
30、er.IfIcallthepolice,我和我妈就得和卡博一起进监狱mymomandIgotojailWithcaleb.我们窝藏了一个杀人犯你瞧如果我们Wevebeenhidingamurderer.Now,look,ifwe.如果我们搬走了我保证每天打电♥话♥给你IfWedomoVe,IpromiseIwillcallyoueveryday.我不需要一个话友我要的是一个男朋友！Idontneedaphonebuddy.Ineedaboyfriend!冷静下来好吗？别告诉我该做什么！Wouldyoucalmdown,please?Donttellmewhattod
31、o!你知道我可以自己去报♥警♥!Youknow,Icouldgotothepolicemyself!Danielle.丹妮尔我只是我太爱你了Ijust.Iloveyousomuch.为了能把你留在这我愿意做任何事Iwoulddoanythingtokeepyouhere.是的我看到了Yeah,Iseethatnow.你不能把我一个人留在这想想办法Youcantleavemealonehere.Youhavetothinkofsomething.别担心Dontworry.我会的Iwill.噢天那！Oh,mygod!艾得?我很抱歉Ed?Hey,msosorry,那只是打
32、给汤姆看的butobviouslythatwasjustmeantforTomseyesonly.无心之过别担心Honestmistake.Dontevenworryaboutit.好的Okay.谢谢我回办公室去了Thanks.Well,mgonnagobackinmyoffice继续感觉像个超级大变♥态♥andcontinuetofeellikeahugepervert至少你和汤姆还有感情生活AtleastyouandTomhavealovelife.条件允许的话我们都会尽力而为Well,wedothebestwecangiventhecircumstances.
33、总比我和弗兰好我们在那方面就像死掉一样BetterthanFranandI.Weredeadinthatdepartment.我不想拿这些事烦你Idontwannaboreyouwiththedetails.非常感谢Iappreciatethat.你知道吗艾得Youknow,ed.我不管干涉你的私人生活Idontwannapryintoyourpersonalbusiness,但是你在那方面好像有点问题butifyouarehavingproblemsinthatarea,你不必听天由命youdonthavetoberesignedtoit.那你想建议我怎么做招♥妓&hearts
34、;?Whatareyousuggesting,hookers?不本人不花钱买♥&hearts丁性No,edferraradoesntpayforsex.我是说你可以和弗兰调调情Imean,youandFrancouldspiceitupabit.重新激起爱的火花Youknow,gettheoldjuicesflowingagain.噢我知道Oh,Isee.就像Kindalike,uh.我要舔遍你的全身dliketolickyoufromheadtofoot.*好吧那并不是我最拿手的Okay,well,thatwasntmybestwork,但效果不容忽视butyoucantden
35、yresults.我要.很管用当我回到家I.m.ingworks,andwhenIgohometonight,汤姆和我会TomandIaregoingto.好吧我到家都精疲力尽了Okay,well,mgonnabeexhausted,我大概只能躺在那但是相信我so1Iprobablyjustlaythere.Buttrustme,汤姆会奉陪到底tomisgonnagototown.可以考虑谁知道呢lt,ssomethingtothinkabout,lordknows.不幸的是Youknowwhatthesadtruthis?我已经在考虑招♥妓♥♥女&h
36、earts;了Ihavebeenthinkingabouthookers.好吧Okay!噢希望那会有用Uh,well,Ihopethathelped.我要回去工作了做完我们就都可以回去了Andmjustgonnagobackandfinishsowecanallgetoutofhere.让我猜猜你不是来买♥♥熊仔饼的吧1.etmeguess.Yourenothereforabearclaw.不是No,mnot.你在浪费时间Yourewastingyourtime.你不必为彼得担心1.ook,youdon,thavetoworryaboutPeter,起码他和我在一起
37、时notwhilehe,swithme.是吗?为什么？Yeah?Whyisthat?因为当发展到性时Becausewhenitcomestosex,我有坚定的道德界限Ihaveanunwaveringmoralcompass.真的就算一个男人整日哀求Truly.Amancouldbegandpleadalldaylong,我也不为所动anditwouldntmakeanydifference.我有这么强的自控力SosinceIhavesuchstrongself-control,毫无理由去结束我们的友谊there,sreallynoreasonforustoendourfriendship.这
38、家伙是个不定时炸♥弹♥Theguysatickingbomb.你根本不了解Youhavenoidea这种病带来的堕落thekindofdepravitythatcomeswiththisdisease.每天在陌生人的床上醒来Wakingupinastrangersbedeverymorning.整晚在公园游荡Cruisingtheparkatnight,只想找人鬼混来摆脱欲望lookingforsomebodytogetoffwith,一找到机会就手♥淫♥compulsivemasturbationeverychanceyouget!像我
39、和彼得这样的人1.ook,forguyslikePeterandme,性对我们而言一点都不美好there,snobeautyinthesex.只是一种空虚丑恶的欲望Itsanemptyanduglycompulsion.好吧我很抱歉Well,Iamsorry,但是我知道彼得还butthePeterIknowhasalittlemores.等一下Holdup.克劳德我需要我需要一些帮助Claude,Ineedsome.Ineedsomehelp.你在这里做什么？你又在吸了？Whatareyoudoinghere?Areyouusing?没但是我买♥♥了一袋No,but
40、Iboughtabag.你真让我丢脸拿来Youreanembarrassmenttome.Give.第十大街有个索会你到那去TheresameetingoveronIOthstreet.Yougothere.会后给我打电♥话♥Youcallmeafter.对不起msorry.滚出我的店Getthehelloutofmyshop.我还是可♥卡♥W♥互助协会的一员malsoasponsoratcocaineanonymous.你还真是多才多艺Well,arentyoutherenaissanceman.说完了吗公主？Arewed
41、onehere.Princess?还没显然你对一切堕落的东西都融会贯通了Notyet.Youobviouslyhaveanencyclopedicgraspofeverythingdepraved.但很明显你一点都不了解Butclearly,youdonthavetheslightestidea爱的力量aboutthepowerofalovingrelationship.你对彼得来说不过ThisisallyouaretoPeter.能让他过过瘾Somethingtosatisfyhisaddiction.我认为彼得做得比你好多了Well,IthinkPeterisabettermanthany
42、oudo,我不会让你把我们分开，试试看and1amnotgonnaletyoukeepusapart.Tryandstopme.彼得什么都听我的PeterdoeseverythingItellhimtodo.成瘾的人有一点可以利用Thatstheonethingyoucandependonwithaddicts.他们很软弱Theyreweak.对不起Excuseme.对不起Excuseme.我可以问些事情吗？MayIaskyousomething?请讲？Yes,maam?如果一个市民像我一样的普通市民Ifacitizen,anordinarycitizenlikemyself,知道有人藏了大量
43、毒品knewofsomeoneholdingasignificantamountofdrugs,我的责任是什么whatwouldmyresponsibilitiesbe,在法律的规定下youknow,underthelaw?这些是什么？Whatsallthis?我跑去买♥♥了这个Andthisone,Iranoutandgot当我发现卡尔和他的秘书搞在一块thedayIfoundoutKarlwasdoingitwithhissecretary.你会发现这很有帮助Ithinkyoullfindthisparticularlyhelpful.有一章叫It,sgotac
44、haptercalled,你伤害的只是你自己revenge:YoureonlyhurtingyourselfYeah,youknow,我真的一点都想看书mjustreallynotintothewholereadingthing.那为什么不出去走走？Oh.Well,urn,whydon,twegetyououtofhere?去看部让人心情愉快的电影1.etsgoseeafeel-goodmovie.你为什么对我这么好？Whyareyoubeingsonicetome?我只是想帮你去看电影怎么样？Well,Ijustwannahelp.Sohowaboutthatmovie?你知道我想怎么恢复吗
45、？YouknowhowIliketoheal?大醉-场Igethammered.那好.Uh.well,um.那我应该离开然后你可以开始喝酒ThenIshouldjustgoandletyougetstartedwiththat.你真想帮我?好吧Doyoureallywannahelpme?Good.因为我需要一个专门的司机Causemgonnaneedadesignateddriver.好吧Oh!Uh.Okay.他怎么会因持有可♥卡♥因♥被捕呢？Howcouldhebearrestedforcocainepossession?克劳德发誓他是清白的Claudesworehewasclean.太糟糕了不是吗？Itsjustawful,isntit?
