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1、JJusthearthosesleighbellsringing.J阿利斯代去柏林待了一周So,AlisdairwentawaytoBerlinforaweek回来后大谈他在那里创作的杰出艺术作品andcamebacktalkingaboutallthisgreatarthedmadethere.我这个伴侣为表示很支持他我问他东西在哪里mplayingsupportivepartner,andIaskhimwhereitis.他问我什么在哪里Hesays,Wherewhatis?我说广你创作混合媒介艺术我是经营画廊的mlike,Well,youdomixedmedia,Irunagallery
2、.1我很想看看你创作的这件杰出艺术作品”dlovetoseethisgreatartyouvemade.好那是一部短片Okay.-It,sashortfilmofhim拍的是在一个像空鞋店的地方他跟一个andthishairyolderCubanmanhaving.全身是毛的古巴老男人在上了油的油布上浑身油滑地做♥爱♥veryslipperysexonagreased-uptarpinwhatlookslikeanemptyshoestore.我要把这蛋奶酒放下马克他们拍了七部短片Puttingtheeggnogdown.-Marc,theymadesevensho
3、rtfilms.七部里头他们都在做♥爱♥?-作品的主题是贪婪的情♥色&hearts也Didtheyhavesexinallofthem?-Itstodowiththeeroticismofgreed,或是资本主义或是甜得发腻的善意orcapitalism,orsomethingcloyinglywell-intentioned.如果我留下就成笑柄了Joke,sonmeifIstay.这么说你打算跟他分手？Soyouregonnabreakupwithhim?不是那样太麻烦No.No,itstoomuchhassle.我会等着他提出分手lljustlet
4、himdoiteventually.这座城市有好男人吗？Arethereanydecentmeninthiscity?托马斯我得告诉你多少遍啊？Thomas.-Oh.-.howmanytimesdoIhavetotellyou?你没资格对此发表评论因为你自♥制♥了蛋奶酒Youdontgettochimeinonthisbecauseyouvemadeyourowneggnog.而且你那性感富有的丈夫Andyourhot,wealthyhusband即将在熊熊的炉火旁领唱isabouttoleadasing-alongbyaroaringfire.所以我问这个问题不是
5、要你回答So.thatquestionwasintendedtojustfloatthereforasecond.这是唯一一个写有你名字的礼物Itstheonlyboxwithyournameonit.我不知道还要准备礼物Ididntknowthiswasagiftsthing.我忘了带葡萄酒别告诉特伦斯我跟你说了这事Iforgottobringwine.DonttellTerranceItoldyouthat因为在过来的路上我们为此吵架了becausewegotinafightaboutitonthewayhere.是啊鉴于我们基本上是在共享我老公Ohyeah.Consideringwepr
6、acticallysharemyhusband,我当然不会说Ithoughtitonlyright.马克配不上你这你知道的吧？Marcdoesntdeserveyou.Youknowthat,right?听着如果你们俩的关系出现问题Andlisten,ifthingsgosouthbetweenyoutwo,我会在这里提供支持mnotgoinganywhere.llberighthere.好吧相信特伦斯对此不会有意见Okay.Well,msureTerrancewillbehappyaboutthat.他会理解的Oh,hedunderstand.如果这是张付我家房♥租的支票我对天
7、发誓Ifthisisacheckformyrent,IsweartoGod.（赠索菲她五音不全）我来了Incoming.这是什么玩意儿？Whatthefuckarethese?这是手工制♥作♥的沙锤Well,thosearehand-craftedmaracas.鉴去年的经验我觉得这样Afterlastyear,Ithoughtitwouldbenice你就依然能参与合唱环节ifyoucouldstillparticipateinthecarols.知道吗?这是在欺负人Doyouknowwhat?Thisisactuallyabuse.你去年选的那首歌&hearts
8、;不在我的声调范围内不能怪我Thatsongthatyoupickedlastyearwasntinmykey.Notonme.亲爱的你的嗓音就像被人扔出窗外的教堂管风琴Mylove,yourvoiceislikeachurchorgansomeonethrewoutofawindow.我要告你们家对我造成了情感伤害Suingthishouseholdforemotionaldamagesactually.她说说而已才不是Emptythreats,emptythreats.-No.这次要告我们什么？Whatarewesuingforthistime?该是我把自己放第一位的时候了Ithinkit
9、shightimeIputmefirst.你什么时候没把自己放在第一位啊？Oh,asopposedtoalltheothertimesyoudontputyourselffirst?谢谢-这是你老公送的Thankyou.-Fromyourhusband.我被禁声了mbeingsilenced.为什么要这么对她？Whywouldyoudothattoher?这礼物其实很漂亮Theseareactuallyreallybeautiful.谢谢-老实说Thankyou.Honestly,thegaslightingaroundmysingingisunbelievable.居然让我怀疑自己的嗓音太过
10、分了Ooh.-No,no,no.哪有你绝对是五音不全Youareabsolutelytone-deaf.而且嗓门大Andloud.嗓门非常大但这点我很喜欢Reallyfuckingloud,andIloveyouforit.你已经喝了几杯酒了？Howmanydrinkshaveyouhad?不关你的事把那个给我Noneofyourgoddamnbusiness.Givemethat.好了Okay.能请大家静一静吗？MayIrequestthehonorofeveryone,sattention,please?老爸Daddy.大家都清楚到了什么时候了Weallknowwhattimeitis.所
11、以过来杰基能把钢琴上的乐谱取下So,come.Jackie,darling,wouldyougetthesheetmusicoffthepiano分发给每个人吗？andpassitaroundtoeverybody?我知道你们应该也收到了Youshouldalsohavereceived,andIknowyouhave,我用邮件发的你们要唱的所有部分的音频文件.ismyemailwiththeaudiofilesofallofyourparts.我要是再听一遍那些音频文件IfIhearabouttheaudiofilesonemoretime.糠慨安排这一切的是了不起的彼得芬利.generou
12、slyarrangedbythemagnificentPeterFinley,我的前爰人、现任好友如今的奥斯卡提名作曲家.formerloverturnedfriend,turnedAcademyAward-nominatedcomposer.他正忙着为新的维多利亚瓦伦丁电影谱写配乐.whohastakentimeawayfromhisverybusyschedule但他从百忙之中抽出时间scoringthenewVictoriaValentinefilm.来这里陪伴我们.toaccompanyusthisevening.我们爱你彼得Weloveyou,Petey.不过说真的No,buttru
13、ly,感谢各位让今晚成为这一年中最美好的夜晚之一thankyouallformakingthisoneofthegreatnightsoftheyear.还要感谢我亲爱的马克斯Hmm.-AndtomydarlingMarcus.我的爱人希望有一天我能配得上他Mylove,may1onedaybeworthy.好了彼得！Aw.-Okay,Petey!大声骄傲地歌♥唱吧1.oudandproud.JEverydayJvJ,WillbelikeaholidayJ太美了！Beautiful!JWhenmybabyJJWhenmybabycomeshomeJJWhenmybabycomes
14、homeJJNowhesbeengoneForsuchalongtimeJ-JEversinceyouvebeengoneJ棒极了！Gorgeous!JIgotalettertodayJJJustaboutnoonJ-J1Itsaid,Dontworry,babyJ-Angelic!JIwillbehome”JJEverydayJJWillbelikeaholidayJ*动听极了！Yousoundglorious!JWhenmybabyJ-JWhenmybabycomeshomeJt-JWhenmybabycomeshomeJ变调！Keychange!JEveryday/JWillbelike
15、aholidayJ*JWillbelikeaholidayJJWhenmybabyJJWhenmybabyJvJWhenmybabycomeshomeJ-JWhenmybabycomeshomeJJWhenmybabycomeshomeJJWhenmybabycomeshomeJ又一个成功的晚会Anothershimmeringsuccess.索菲都开始打嗝了Sophieisstartingtohiccup.你想说明什么？Whatsyourpoint?去吧这是你应得的正如你此生所做的大多数事一样Catchup.Youdeserveit,asyoudomostthingsinthislife.你
16、该跟那个调酒师上♥床♥我看到他在瞟你Youshouldshagthebarman.Isawhimeyeingyouup.多半是因为他从没见过有人能吃那么多香肠卷Probablybecausehesneverseenasinglehumaneatsomanysausagerolls.再说如果可以的话我宁可跟你上♥床♥Anddrathershagyou,ifthatsokay.什么现在吗？What,rightnow?-Mm.好让班迪尼太太多一条理由报♥警♥GiveMrs.Bandinionemorereasonto
17、callthepolice投诉街对面的男同onthepuffsacrosstheroad.我下周初就回来llbebackatthestartoftheweek.我们有很多事要谈Wellhavelotstodiscuss.我走了禽兽们尽情胡闹吧mOflyouanimals.Makebigmistakes.拜托我疯狂地爱着你Please.Iloveyoumadly.我也爱你Iloveyou.我啥时候能找到那样的？WhendoIgetthat?我男朋友吗？Myboyfriend?我想他在戏剧学院尝试过但他不喜欢Youknow,Ithinkheexperimentedindramaschool,did
18、n,tlikeit.真的？Really?我指的是找到一个正派人因为你找到了Ijustmeanlikeadecenthumanbeing.Because,like,youvegotthat我们分手后你过了15年这样的日子Meandyoubreakup,andnowyou,re15yearsintoallthis.我有什么？-亲爱的WhathaveIgot?-Oh,honey.特伦斯要我搬去跟他一起住SoTerranceaskedmetomoveinwithhim.他总算提了Thattooklongenough.是呀我还没给他答复Yeah,Ihaventgottenbacktohimyet.为什么
19、？Why?太干净了Ah,tooclean.我觉得在那里没法做真正的自己懂我意思吗？1feellikeIcantbemyselfthere,doyouknowwhatImean?不懂No.怎么叫“做真正的自己”？住在脏地方吗？Beyourselflikewhat?Liveinsqualor?把垃圾扔得满地都是？-或许吧Throwgarbageonthefloor?-Maybe.如果那是我想要的IfthatswhatIwantedtodo,youknow?嘿宝贝Hey,babe.我们在说你呢Talkingaboutyou.不错我们也在说你Cool.Were,uh,talkingaboutyouto
20、o.真希望你能看到从房♥间的另一头看你是什么样Ifonlyyoucouldseehowyoulookfromacrossaroom.美得让人无法呼吸Takeyourfuckingbreathaway.从近处看呢则是一团糟Upclose?Bigoldmess.对了马克这蛋奶酒好喝极了Bytheway,Marc,thiseggnogis.delightful.谢谢夸奖你是唯一尝过的人Thankyou.You,retheonlyonethattriedit圣诞快乐MerryChristmas.老天Fuck.看来今晚有人开车回家前喝多了1.ookslikesomeonehadonetoo
21、manybeforedrivinghometonight.我的天啊Oh,Jesus.那是奥利弗的出租车ItsOliverscab.J*AsthemillertoldhistaleJJMm,thatherfaceAtfirstjustghostlyJJTurnedawhitershadeofpaleJ悲伤有益莉莉凯恩去做了隆胸1.ilyKaynehasgoneandhadhertitsdone.搞得整个工作室都崩溃rAndthestudioishavingameltdown因为这卜维多利亚瓦伦丁的胸变大了becauseVictoriaValentinenowhasimplants.他们指望我怎么
22、办？Whatdotheyexpectmetodo?我负责写书他们负责拍电影Iwritethebooks,theymakethemovies,而你我的爱人则负责重新装♥修♥我们美丽的厨房♥andyou,mylove,redoourgorgeouskitchen.我负责装♥修♥厨房♥?Iredothekitchen?除了装♥修♥厨房♥外我还给你所有的书画插图IredothekitchenontopOfillustratingallofyourbooks,做封面anddoin
23、gthecovers,还要柢挡一大群来敲我家门问你什么时候能完成andfendingoffthrongsofsobbingteenagegirls答应过的下两本书的knockingonourdoorwonderingwhenyouregoingtofinish哭泣少女thenexttwobooksyoupromisedthem.我欠你-辈子亲爰的马克斯Ioweyoumylife,Marcusdarling.我知道Iknowyoudo.还得谢谢有那些少女们AndthankGodforthoseteenagegirls.不今晚不谢因为她们要把你从你自己的派对上抢走No,nottonight.Not
24、whentheyretakingyouawayfromyourownpartyearly.是我们的派对Itsourparty,因为你安排派对时很清楚becauseyouplanneditknowingfullwell明天早上我在巴黎有一个签名售书活动thatIhadabooksigninginParisinthemorning.只是签名售书可以延期的Itsasigning.Youcouldhavepushedasigning.在卢浮宫办的圣诞签名售书可不能延期亲爱的YoudontpushaChristmassigningattheLouvre,mylove.我有没有告诉过你今晚你有多帅？Hav
25、eItoldyouhowhandsomeyoulooktonight?老实说说得不够Notenough,honestly.告诉我钢琴匚经调过吾了Tellmethepianogottuned.钢琴已经调过音了Thepianogottuned.包括坏掉的那个键？Eventhefunnykey?已经换掉了Replaced.我曾渴望过别人Ihavelongedforpeoplebefore.也曾爱过别人velovedpeoplebefore但从没像这样Butnotlikethis从来都不是这样Itwasnotthis给我一个世界吧因为你占领了我以前的那个GivemeaworldYouvetakenth
26、eworldIwas这是你即兴想出来的？Didyoujustcomeupwiththat?不是是安妮卡森的诗No,AnneCarson.-Ah.要能写出这公美的诗放弃这房♥子我都愿意dgiveupthishousetohavewrittenthat.不要我们刚刚重新装♥修♥了厨房♥Well,wedontwantthat.Wejustredidourkitchen.说得太对rTooright.谢谢你安排了派对Thankyoufortheparty.奥利弗改变了很多人的生活Oliverchangedsomanypeopleslives.尤其是
27、我的Especiallymine.我还记得参加维多利亚瓦伦丁电影试镜时IrememberreadingpartofthefirstVictoriaValentinebook我读r第一本书的一部分当时我想formyauditionforthefilmandthinking.“这个角色ThischaracterIE是我想成为一名演员的原因iswhyIwantedtobeanactress.她坚强Shesstrong.聪慧Smart.是一个求真者Shesatruth-seeker.真正意义上的1.iterally.她有心灵感应Shestelepathic.不过相信你们都知道这一点Butmsureyo
28、uallknowthat.如今他走了Andnowhe,sgone.我非常伤心Andmyheartbreaks.为他的家人伤心Forhisfamily.也为我们的电影伤心Andforourmovie.我们大家都想知道“为什么非得发生这种事?”Allofuswondering,Why?Whydidthishavetohappen?他还有那么多故事要写Hehadsomanymorestoriestotell.但生活不如人意Butlifefuckingsucks.如今我们不知道是否会拍第五、第六部电影NowWedontknowifwellendupshootingthefifthandsixthmov
29、ies因为他还没把书写完becausehewasstillwritingthem.所以.So.奥利弗Oliver.你个小贱♥人♥youlittleslut.好吧Okay.希望工作室为了纪念你而开绿灯Ihopethestudiogreen-lightstheminyourhonor,这样我们就能在未来的许多年里继续讲述你写的故事andthatwegettocontinuetotellyourstoriesformanyyearstocome,因为我们becausewe.需要它们needthem.奥利弗说的第一个字是“动”Oliversfirstwordwasmove.
30、就是“让开”的意思Asin,Outofmyway.他还没满岁Hecanthavebeenmorethanone.当时我挡住了他去我们后花♥园♥的路Iwasblockinghispathtoourlittlebackgardenand,uh,他一心一意要去金鱼草那里hewasdeterminedtogettothesnapdragons.他喜欢捏那些花的喉部让它们“张嘴说话”Helovedsqueezingtheirheads,makingthemtalk.当时他并不知道Hedidntknowitatthetime,但他还没学会说话就已经开始讲故事了buthewast
31、ellingstories,evenbeforehecouldspeak.长大的过程中他会跟我和他妈妈分享他写的东西Growingup,hedsharehiswritingwithhismomandme.一直都是公主寻找东西的故事Alwaysaboutprincessesinsearchofthings.这些天我一直在想vebeenthinkingalotthesedays我以前总是鼓励他写点其他的东西aboutallthetimesIencouragedhimtowriteaboutsomethingelse.写点男孩会写的故事Somethingboyswouldwriteabout.他很抵
32、触Hewas,uh,quitedefiant.“我就是个男孩,maboy.这是我想写的东西”AndthisiswhatIwanttowriteabout.此刻我都能听到他责备我贬损了他故事的声音Icanhearhimnow,scoldingmeforundersellinghisstories.我以前常会那样做I,uh.hadatendencytodothat,and,uh.但他是对的hedberight.知道It,snot.尽管有你阻拦alightthing.你的孩子还是成功了不是一件好受的事toknowthatyourchildsucceededinspiteofyou.我只希望能在他生前
33、告诉他IonlywishIcouldhavetoldhim挡住了他去金鱼草那里的道路我有多么后悔howmuchIregretblockinghispathtothesnapdragons.希望你和你妈正在天上开怀大笑1hopeyou,rehavingalaughwithyourmomupthere.儿子如果能让我代你去死要我做什么我都愿意WhatIwouldntdototakeyourplace,son.我爱你Iloveyou.我很为你骄傲Andmproudofyou.我非常地mso.为你骄傲proudofyou.我一直都很喜欢你的素描vealwayslovedyoursketches.有多少
34、次了你答应会画新作却没画Howmanytimeshaveyoupromisedmenewwork?只要你准备好了我那里随时都有展位给你Therellalwaysbespaceforyouwhenyoureready.谢谢你答应过来住Thankyouforcomingtostay.虽然用你家的厨房♥睡昂贵的记忆海绵床垫Well,itsahugeburden.togettouseyourkitchen是一种巨大的负担但你说希望有人陪andsleeponanexpensivememoryfoammattress,-butyousaidyouwantedcompany.你还好吧？Youo
35、kay?那就是还好So,thatsayes.从这进去就是她办公室-谢谢Shesjustthroughhere.-Thankyou.非常感谢你能来Thankyouforcomingin.不用谢Ofcourse.在我们说正题之前So,beforewegetintoeverything,我希望让你知道一下Iwantedyoutobeaware奥利弗的出版商想终止协议thatOliverspublishersaretryingtogetoutofhisdeal,因为奥利弗已无法交付下两本书ashewontbedeliveringhisnexttwobooks.这才一个月Itsbeenamonth.有些
36、人真恶心Peoplearedisgusting.那是一大笔预付款It,sabigadvance.不过你说得对美国人向来不会圆通处事Butyes,theAmericanshaveneverbeenknownfortheirtact.律师们正在处理很快就会给你进一步消息1.awyersareonit.Wellhavemoreforyousoon.好的Okay.你呢？Andyou?一直没怎么睡？Haventbeensleeping?我一直看到书上说大脑就像肌肉Ivebeen,uh,readingthatthebrainislikeamuscle.这就是为什么失去亲人时人很难走出来Thatswhyge
37、ttingoveradeathissohard,因为你的大脑已被训练成对那个人有各种感觉becauseyourbrainhasbeentrainedtofeelthingsforaperson.对方去世后你的大脑还是觉得Andwhentheygoaway,yourheadisstilloperating它应该感受到对那个人的undertheimpressionthatitshouldfeelthosethings.那些感觉就好像.forthatperson.Like.肌肉记忆一样musclememory.所以我只是想训I练我的大脑暂时不要有那公强的感觉Somjusttryingtotrainm
38、ybraintonotfeelasmuchforrightnow.让我熬过接下来这一年Justtogetmethroughthenextyear这样我就不用经常想起自己现在既是孤儿sothatmnotconstantlyremindedofthefactthatIamnowbothanorphan又是鳏夫的事实andawidow-er.怎么?我看上去像最近没睡觉？Why,doesitlooklikeIhaventbeensleeping?我觉得今天还是别谈遗嘱的事吧Ithinkwellholdoffonthewillfortoday.我要为此杀了你-你可以的mgoingtomurderyouf
39、orthis.-Yougotthis.你行的亲爰的我对你有信心Youhavegotthis,babe,Ibelieveinyou.好了各位横杆已经设好Allright,guys.Alldonesettingupthebars.大家到这里来Bringyourselvesoverhere,我们来说说今天会做的训练wellgothroughwhatweregoingtodotoday.蹲卜时用脚踝支撑Sitontheankles.很好第三次蹲下后停顿一下Good.Onthethirdrep,pauseatthebottom.双手放在膝盖内侧Handsontheinsideoftheknees.很好不
40、错保持这个姿势然后咳嗽Good.Lovely.Inthisposition,Iwantyoutocoughforme.感受你们的腹部Feelyourabdominals.很好你没事吧？-她做得不到位Nice.Areyouokay?-She,snotdoingitproperly.你可能得检查一下自己的姿势No,youmightneedtojustcheckyourpose,liftyourchestabithigher.胸部抬高一点糟糕Oh,no.慢慢地再次往下Slowlybackdown.很好再来一个起来我爱你Good.Onemore.Up.-1loveyou.蹲卜时吸气Breatheino
41、nthewaydown.蹲下Down.起来Andstand.这么说我的发型跟你一样？我想变得跟你一模一样？Somyhair,sjustlikeyours?SoIwanttobejustlikeyou?我想弄弄清楚Iwanttounderstandit.我想.很多不同的男人狂欢到清晨五点？Iwantto.alotofdifferentguys.partyuntil5:00inthemorning?这几乎就是莎上比亚的戏剧Youknow,it,salmostShakespearean,如果你想一想的话有那么多背叛ifyouthinkaboutit,thelevelsofbetrayal,可她们却继
42、续出席这些晚宴andyettheycontinuetoshowuptothesedinners.什么叫我得挑一首歌♥?这是个约会软件WhatdoyoumeanIhavetopickasong?Itsadatingapp.作为你照片拼集播放时的背景音乐Thesongplaysoveramontageofpicturesofyou.有没有谢谢能不能不放？Well,isthere.Thankyou.Isthereanoptionnotto?大家一般都会挑什么样的歌♥?Imean,whatkindofsongsdopeoplepick?电台司令乐队很多创意总监都选择电台司令
43、的歌♥Radiohead.AnawfullotofcreativedirectorspickingRadiohead.这才过了六个月他不是非这么做不可Itsonlybeensixmonths.Hedoesnthavetodothis.非常感谢你这么说Thankyouverymuch.唐妮布莱斯顿的你让我嗨回♥回♥都有效ToniBraxton,YoureMakin,MeHigh.Workseverytime.你是怎么知道的？Howdoyouknow?帮我钓到了这位不是吗？Nabbedmethisone,didntit?Hmm?吸引我的是那些照片Itwas
44、thepicturesthatworkedforme.我可以向你保证是那些照片Icanassureyouitwasthepictures.不过我要是知道自己会陷入什么Although,hadIknownwhatIwasgettingmyselfinto.总之我当时的照片集锦很精彩Anyway,Ihadalegendaryslideshow.男人喜欢丁字裤非常喜欢Menloveathongstrap,Godlovethem.-Mm-hmm.你还留着他的裸照Aw,you,vekepthisnudes.真是温馨Givemethat.-Thatssosweet.怎么了?这很浪漫What?Itsfuck
45、ingromantic.抱歉我只是想替你挑些照片msorry,Iwasjustlookingforphotosofyou,但里头全是你们俩的合影没你单独的照片我andIcantfindanyofyoualonewithouthim,andI.把他剪切掉会很怪Itfeelsweirdcroppinghimout.我看上去变老了吗？我觉得自己老了很多DoIlookoldertoyou?Ifeellikeveagedalot.哪有-是的你老公才刚死No.-Yes.Yourhusbandjustdied.变老是允许的真是的Youreallowed,myGod.我相信她的话Ibelieveher.J*Sittinherethinking,baby,aboutyouJ*Jmwonderinh
