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1、感觉是不是很棒Isntthisnice?一年中最美好的时候Nobettertimeofyear.让我告诉你我最喜欢的耶诞佳节故事Youknow,letmetellyouoneofmyfavoriteYuletidestories.那是耶诞节前夕TwasthenightbeforeChristmas,在全市各地andallthroughthetown,复仇者联盟在对抗一股全新的超级势力theAvengerswerefightingabrand-newsuperpower.烟囱上挂着耶诞袜.Thestockingswerehungbythechimney.再也没有了Well,notanymore.
2、索尔呢Where,sThor?对你可能在想这个人是谁Oh,right.Youreprobablywonderingwhothisguyis.或许我该开始话说从头PerhapsIshouldstartabitfurtherback.（漫威影业呈献）时间Time.空间Space.现实Reality.并不是线性关系Itsmorethanalinearpath.而是个有无限可能的棱镜Itsaprismofendlesspossibility,单一个选择就能衍生出无数现实whereasinglechoicecanbranchoutintoinfiniterealities,创造出全然不同的平行世界cre
3、atingalternateworldsfromtheonesyouknow.我是观察者IamtheWatcher.我会引导你穿越浩瀚的新现实Iamyourguidethroughthesevastnewrealities.跟我来推敲问题的无限可能Followmeandponderthequestion.无限可能:假如第二季第三集假如Whatif?好我们再来一次Okay,letstrythisagain.那是事发前两小时大楼尚未起火Twasonlytwohourspriorandthetowerwasnotyetonfire.往左不太左边了停Totheleft,totheleft.Tothe.
4、No,toomuchleft.Stop.Stop!麻雀一号♥呼叫海雀二号♥听到了吗Sparrow-1toPuffln-2,doyoucopy?这里发生红色警戒Wehaveacodereddownhere.黛西我说过老贾在进行磁碟重组时Darcy,Itoldyou,whileJARVISisbeingdefragged,这条线路仅供紧急使用thislineisforemergencyuseonly.通话时请叫我麻雀一号♥老板Please.Sparrow-1onthecomms,boss.真的是红色警戒状况外炫人员到了Andit,satotalcodere
5、d.Thecaterersarehere,我却只看到起司块和红萝卜条andallmseeingarecheesecubesandcarrotsticks.表演节目呢热狗堡呢Where,stheshowmanship?WherearetheKogibuns?黛西你想拿到学分吗听我说Darcy,youwannagetcollegecreditforthis?Listentome.我不是第一次办复仇者联盟佳节晚会ThisAvengersholidaygalaisnotmyfirstrodeo.好啦了解海雀二号♥Fine,fine.Tentothefour,Puffin-2.等等为什么我
6、是海雀如果我是二号♥Wait.WhyamIapuffin?Andasecondpuffinatthat.谁是一号♥-会计部的伯纳Who,sthefirstpuffin?-BernardinAccounting.太伤人了Okay,thatjusthurts.我能给你火鸡一号♥火鹤六号♥还是长尾鹦鹉IcanofferyouTurkey-1,Flamingo-6.Ooh,howabouttheParakeet?我有更棒的点子指定一项特殊任务给你Wait.Ihaveabetteridea.Averyspecialassignmentjustfor
7、you.酒渍樱桃快没了Maraschinocherries.Wererunninglow,东尼的热托迪鸡尾酒一定要加andTonycan,thaveahottoddywithoutthem.我不知道热托迪要加樱桃Oh,Ididntknowpeopleputcherriesinhottoddies.你肖想摆脱我Hey,youretryingtogetridofme.我只是想清静一下JustlookingforalittlepeaceonEarth,okay?0w!你们造价五千万不能小心点吗$50million,youcantwatchwhereyouregoing?一切顺利吗Everything
8、undercontrol?希尔局长你打扮得很有节庆味道DirectorHill.Yourelookingquite,uh,festive.既然老贾在关机维修中NowthatJARVIShasbeenshutdownformaintenance.我想跟你谈一下提供几个讯息Oh,Iwannatalktoyouaboutthat.dliketoshareafewmessages关于升级我们的威胁矩阵aboutupgradingourthreatmatrix.也许你该交给专业维安人员处理Maybeyoushouldleavethattothesecurityprofessionals.我就是专业维安人
9、员ButIamasecurityprofessional.我要你专注在今晚的宴会上Ineedyoutofocusontonightsparty.老鹰一号♥.指挥中心找你Eagle-1,Eagle-1.Youreneededincommand.马上过去老鹰一号♥Onmyway.-Eagle-1?这场佳节晚会很重要霍根先生Thisholidaypartyisvital,Mr.Hogan.经过这一年人们需要理由庆祝Aftertheyearwevehad,peopleneedareasontocelebrate.我指望你把它办好mcountingonyoutopullito
10、ff.是长官Yes,maam.耶诞歌♥单Christmasplaylist光明节歌♥单玛丽亚凯莉耶诞歌♥曲循环重播搞定Hanukkahplaylist.ThatoneMariahCareysongonloop.Bingo!祝大家Andtoallagood.索杰你挡到我了Sergei,yousteppedonmyline,buddy.或许这是贾斯汀汉默大闹耶诞节的故事OrmaybethisisthestoryofhowJustinHammerstoleChristmas.这个腐♥败♥的国防承包商差点炸毁史塔克博览会后After
11、thecorruptdefensecontractornearlyblewuptheStarkExpo,他发觉自己上了危险人物名单hefoundhimselfonthenaughtylist.经过一番思考与反省Withtimetothink,timetoreflect,（机械科学季刊）好好地timeto.（科学兄弟:他们想创造什么）思索他的未来ponderhisfuture.或许在这个宇宙贾斯汀汉默的时间太多了点Perhaps,inthisuniverse,JustinHammerhadalittletoomuchtime.我们死定了Weregonnadie!拉斯提麻烦拿来给我Yo,Rusty
12、,handmethat,wouldyou?他们怎么进来的Howdtheyevengetinhere?我叫拉斯登连尼瓦契斯拉夫ThenameisRustamLeonidVyacheslav.所以我们用拉斯提就好AndthatsexactlywhywerestickingwithRusty.（程式上传中）各位.听好People,people,listenup.保持冷静保持安静Youstaycalm,youstayquiet我保证你们能【可家过节andIguaranteethatyoullbehomefortheholidays.耶诞节不能哭Hey,theresnocryingonChristmas
13、.我七岁的时候Youknow,whenIwassevenyearsold,我最想要的礼物就是BB枪IwantedaRedRyderBBgunmorethananythingintheworld.我求我爸妈我求耶诞老人Ibeggedmyparents.IbeggedSantaforit.舌头不小心粘在电线杆上Accidentallygotmytonguestuckonatelephonepole.那不是经典电影的剧情吗Isntthataclassicmovie?对有人腿台灯那部Yes,theonewiththeleglamp.闭嘴但那年我没得到BB枪知道为什么吗Hey,shutup.ButIdi
14、dntgettheBBgunthatChristmas.Doyouknowwhy?（上传完成）因为这是美国想要什么就自己想办法CausethisisAmerica,andifyouwantsomething,yougottatakeit.老贾停摆五分钟整栋大楼就乱七八糟Oh,youunplugJARVISforfiveminutes,thewholebuildingcollapses.老板Uh,boss?放轻松重设指令协定设定新目标Relax.Reprogrammingcommandprotocols,settingnewtargets.（钢铁军团控制设定）锁定现场人员听起来不错Allonsi
15、testaffsoundsgoodtome.什么What?（欢迎:贾斯汀汉默）干掉他们霹雳五号♥Knockemdead,JohnnyFives.黛西女王往下望GoodQueenDarcylastlookeddown史帝夫罗杰斯的盛宴当雪花.OnthefeastofSteveRogersWhenthesnowlayon.老鹰一号♥Eagle-1.好各位汉默Okay,boys.Hammer?这些门后有照射过伽玛射线的抗原血清Behindthesedoorsisagamma-radiatedantigenserum.浩克之血Hulkblood.可说是羊水好恶Theamni
16、oticfluid,sotospeak.-Gross.能诞生下一个超级英雄我.thatwillbirththenextsuperhero.Me.我已经比10个东尼史塔克还聪明malreadysmarterthan10TonyStarks很快就能比12个美国队长更强壮andprettysoonllbestrongerthan12CaptainAmericas.我们开始吧So,letsgetcracking.没问题Noproblems.拜托你想干嘛Dude,comeon.Whatisthis?你说你能开保险箱Yousaidyouwereasafecracker.对现在来砸开保险箱Yes,andno
17、wIcracksafe.我就知道该找苏科维亚团队IknewIshouldhavegonewiththeSokovianteam.希尔请回答Hill.Hill,comein.东尼的实验室有三名敌人-本来以为他们会先突袭军械库WegotthreehostilesinTonyslab.-You,dthinktheydraidthearmoryfirst.东尼在用班纳的血做实验Tony,sbeenmessingaroundwithBannersblood,看他能否成为没有情绪问题的浩克seeingifhecanbetheHulkwithouttheangermanagementissues.他成功了吗
18、那要一段过程Washesuccessful?-It,saprocess.我走了mgonnaheadup.这下不妙好Oh,oh,thatsnotgood.Okay,okay.拿到血清再通知我Callmewhenyougetthegoodstuff.我去坐东尼的宝座了TimeformetogoandsitonTonysthrone.我不会冲水如果你们懂我的意思mnotgonnaflush,ifyougetmydrift.Oh.是汉默他要去上东尼的厕所Yeah,it,sHammer.HesheadingforTony,sbathroom.霍根你能拿到样本吗-可以我有办法进去Hogan,canyous
19、ecurethesamples?-Yes.IthinkIhaveawayin.很好我来抓汉默Good.CauseIvegotHammer.正中要害Rightinthejinglebells.东尼说办场佳节派对一定很好玩Jesus.Throwaholidayparty.Itllbefun,Tonysaid.怎么会出问题呢Whatcouldgowrong?我说通风管会是维安漏洞Itoldthemtheairventwouldbeasecurityissue,butno.没人听快乐的话NobodylistenstoHappy.看看这酒吧我的天啊1.ookatthisbar!Oh,mygoodness
20、!我超爱Iloveit!手举起来汉默HandswhereIcanseethem,Hammer.乖乖投降Nowsurrenderpeacefully.你担心的日子终于来了Oh,thedayyouvebeendreadinghasfinallycome.与东尼史塔克Thedaythatyoufaceoff最大对手正面对决的日子againstTonyStarksgreatestadversary.最大对手你是富人税吗Greatestadversary?Whatareyou,awealthtax?没用Nothing?你的技巧不对Yourtechniqueisoff.背部多用力Morestrengthi
21、nback.不是靠手臂靠臀部1.essarms,morehips.好我懂了Da,da,da.Igetitnow.好来看一下Okay,letstakealook.在哪呢浩克之血.Whereisit?Hulkblood,Hulkblood.浩克之血Hulkblood.Hulkblood.到底在哪Okay,justwhereis.想想看.小瓶子Think.Alittlevial.快乐找到浩克之血.不Happy,findtheHulkblood,findtheHulk.No!你听到了吗Hey,hey,hey.Didyouhearthat?抓住了Oh,gotit.停你的笑话Stop.Yourlittle
22、jokeswontdo无法对付跆拳道muchgoodagainstthemasteroftaekwondo,柔术和泰拳大♥师♥换频道jiujitsuandMuayThai.-Switchthechannel.对Thatsright.我学过监狱打架技巧-天啊Ilearnedprison-fightingtechniques.-Oh,God.都在监狱操场Allontheprisonyard.也许是老鼠Hmm,maybearat.知道我在牢里学到最重要的事是什么吗Youknowwhatthemostimportantthing1learnedinlockupis?愿闻其详
23、Enlightenme.赢家才会作弊Cheatingisforwinners.不玛丽亚No,Maria!化身为黑影飘忽的黑影Beashadow.Beashadow.Bealooseshadow.你们看得见我吧Youguyscanseeme,right?对看得见Da,weseeyou.老板逮到保全了Boss,wehavesecurityguard.好聪明你以为你能骗过汉默Clever.YouthoughtyoucoulddistracttheHammer?回来浩克之血我只要浩克之血Hey!Getbackhere.-Hulkblood.IjustneedtheHulkblood.你能跑去哪Wher
24、ewillyourun?快啊怎样才能找到一管班纳的血Comeon.What,saguygottadotofindanepiduralOfBannerblood?浩克Hulk.Huh?五彩碎纸箭Aconfettiarrow?拜托东尼你预约鹰眼来生口趴Comeon,Tony.YoubookingHawkeyeoutforbirthdaypartiesnow?浩克之血找到了Hulkblood!Oh,yes!Bingo!好我应该领危险津贴才对Allright.Ishoulddefinitelybegettinghazardpayforthis.不怎么会这样No!Whyditdothat?让开小精灵St
25、epaside,mylittleelves.这下不妙Oh,thatsnotgood.这卜不妙Oh,that,snotgood.汉默Hammer.全力射击他Shoothimwithallyouvegot.那边.快去一回来There,there,there.Letsgo.-Hey!Getbackhere!为咖♥啡♥因♥上瘾的疯狂科学家工作就学到这个看招Oh,yeah,thethingsyoulearnworkingforamad,over-caffeinatedscientist.Incoming!停你们会毁掉浩克之血Hey,stop,stop!Stop!
26、YouregonnadestroytheHulkblood.有毛病啊Whatsthematterwithyou?真实用Oh,thatsuseful.别管我说的去抓他快ScrewwhatIsaid.Justgethim.Now.快乐我的腿断了Happy.Oh,mylegisbroken.没关系我的腿够我们两个用Yeah,that,sokay.Imighthaveenoughlegforthebothofus.快乐我都靠你了Happy?Look,mcountingonyou.是他吗我超级血清里的苍蝇吗Isthathim?Isthattheflyinmysuperserum?阻止汉默拯救大楼Stop
27、Hammer.Savethetower.玛丽亚Maria!Maria!这下你倒楣了小姐Oh,yougotabigboxofcoalcoiningyourway,missy.把她铐起来我受不了她一直从中作梗Cuffher.msickofthischickroastingmychestnuts.好现在都靠我了.Okay,itsallonmenow.Itsallonmenow.现在都靠我了Oh,itsallonmenow.（团队合作）对团队中没有自我Okay,yes,there,snointeam.There,snoIinteam!（娜塔莎罗曼诺夫）什么不What?No,no,no!罗曼诺夫快乐我不
28、方便讲话-娜塔莎Romanoff.Happy,notagreattime.Natasha?Natasha!一个杀过17人的前九头蛇探员正拿枪指着我mbeingheldatgunpointbyaformerHYDRAagentwith17kills.18人你忘了奈及利亚Eighteenkills.YouforgotNigeria.那是你爱现Oh,thatwasyou?Showoff.要我帮你找救兵吗Uh.Youwantmetogetyouhelp?不用我能应付宴会上见Oh,no,vegotthis.Seeyouattheparty.她不会有事Yeah,shellbefine.东尼拜托快接Okay
29、,Tony.Pickup,Tony,please.你打来正好请跟提米说美国队长盾牌复♥制♥品Perfecttiming.Happy,canyoutellTimmyherethatareplicaCapshield只是爱国飞盘isnothingbutapatrioticFrisbee?东尼我有急事Tony,itsanemergency!-Whoa!这里也有麻烦地方妈妈围住队长该走了Troublehere,too.SoccermomsarecorneringCap.Gottago.东尼Tony.Tony!好Okay.快接电♥话♥快接Comeo
30、n.Answerthephone,answerthephone.什么等一下Hello.What?What?Holdonasec.克林特该结束了太阳快下山了Clint,thinkweneedtowrapthisup.Sunsgettingreallow,pal.就像冬至那样要下山了1.ike,superwintersolsticekindoflow.班纳Banner,Banner!抱歉最后一个-班纳msorry.Itsthelastone.-Banner!克林特玩具给她Clint,justgiveherthetoy!没办法赶快给她Nocando.-Comeon.Justletherhaveit.
31、我老婆说没抢到这玩具就别回家Thewifesays,Bringhomethistoyordontcomehomeatall.可恶克林特-给她啦Damnit.Clint,just.-Letherhaveit!水啦Oh,yeah!开始倒雪莉登波酒啰大个子我弄到樱桃TStartpouringtheShirleyTemples,bigguy.Igotyourcherries.麻雀一号♥这是海雀二号♥Sparrow-1,thisisPuffin-2.听到了吗红色警戒Doyoucopy?Wegotacodered.大楼遭恐&hearts|布♥分♥子&
32、hearts;占领Thetowersbeenovertakenbyterrorists.耶诞节有恐♥怖♥分♥子♥是在演空中监狱吗TerroristsonChristmas?Whatisthis?ConAir?不对魔鬼战将不对.我知道No,wait.UnderSiege?No,no,no.Thatsnotit.Wait.Iknowthisone.我在搜寻脑袋中的片库Uh,walkingmymentalBlockbusteraisle.终极警探专心点Hey,JohnMcClane,focus.每件武器和盔甲都在汉默手中Everyweapon,
33、everysuitiscurrentlyunderHammer,scontrol.你打给我♥干♥嘛Whatareyoucallingmefor?叫老贾通知军队或复仇者联盟TellJARVIStodialupthearmyortheAvengers.或是那个戴眼罩的可怕家伙Orthatscarydudewiththeeye-patch.老贾离线重组他们就是那样JARVlSisofflinedefragging.Itshowtheywereableto.黛西你真是天才Darcy,youreagenius.谢了我上大学超过五年Thanks.Ihavebeenincolle
34、geforthebetterpartofadecade.不是我吹牛我刚说什么Nottobrag.ButwhatdidIsay?老贾有一台主机在地下二楼JARVIShasamainframeinthesub-basement.如果让老贾恢复上线就能控制大楼IfwebringJARVISbackonline,wecantakecontrolofthebuilding以及里面的一切andeverythinginsideit.海雀二号♥你在请我当你的条子帮手吗Puffin-2,areyouaskingmetobeyourReginaldVelJohnson?条子帮手这是你对那部片的印象R
35、eginaldVelJohnson?Thatswhatyourememberfromthemovie?靠Oh,damn.你们看得见我吧Youguyscanseeme,right?好Okay.Okay,okay.Okay.Okay.好Oh,okay.Hey!我看出去唯一的办法就是出去Guesstheonlywayoutisout!哇哩.Holy.看到没我全身流着浩克之血Seethat?1gotHulkbloodpumpingthroughme.也许来试试有多猛Mightaswelltryitonforsize.等等你听到没Wait,wait.Doyouhearthat?快走Go,go,go.一拳
36、打断铁链Brokethatdamnchainprettygood.易怒个性呢不能发脾气Whatabouttheshortfuse?Canthaveatempertantrum.冷静深呼吸Becalm.Breathe.应该有帮助吧Thatssupposedtohelp,right?重复海雀二号♥都还好吧10-9,Puffin-2.Everythingokaythere,boss?你听来有点像达斯维达CauseyousoundalittleDarthVader-y.等我一下我正在忙Ijustneedaminute.mgoingthroughsomestuff.整栋大楼竟然靠这个小盒子
37、运作Cantbelievethewholebuildingrunsoffthisonedinkybox.下次应该去维基解密实习MynextinternshipshouldtotallybeatWikiLeaks,因为我完全能掌控骇.不会吧,causeIvegotthiswholehackingthing.Ohlno.秘密房♥间Asecretroom!你以为门控开关是主机喔Youthoughtthedoorknobwasthemainframe?谁都会这样对阿宅来说这就像纳尼亚传奇Anyonewould.ThisislikeNarniafordorks.地下二楼应该有备用的老贾人工
38、智慧ThereshouldbeabackupJARVISAIinthesub-basement.老板他有内应在地下二楼Boss,hehassomeoneelseontheinside.Inthesub-basement.我有更好的点子回阁楼去Wait.Igotabetteridea.Getbacktothepenthouse.让他们来找汉默更好ItsbettertomakethemcometotheHammer.好老板这里有星期五Allright.Herewego,boss.WegotaFriday,华德沃斯伊迪丝1.0听来好像推理影集aW.A.D.S.W.O.R,T.H.,anE.D.I.T
39、.H.1.0.Gosh,soundslikeaBBCmystery.黛西快挑一个Darcy,justpickone!太棒了Wunderbar!Werneritis.那就温纳Whoa!黛西听到了吗Darcy?Darcy,doyoucopy?好吧麻雀一号♥请Inl答这是海雀二号♥听到没Oh,fine.Comein,Sparrow-1.ThisisPuffin-2.Doyoucopy?通了吗Isthison?英雄与坏蛋唯一的差别是公♥关♥形象TheonlydifferencebetweenaheroandavillainisgoodPR.在这个
40、国家赎罪不在于悔过Yousee,redemptioninthiscountry,itisntaboutpenance.而是重新塑造形象No,itsaboutrebranding,浩克之血就是我的机会andthatHulkbloodwasgonnabemychance.你却把它偷走快乐霍根但放心Andthenyoustoleitfromme,HappyHogan.Butdon,tworry.等我解剖你抽搐的尸体我再进行逆向设计Iwillreverse-engineeritafterIdissectyourtwitchingcorpse.别让他吓唬你快乐Dontlethimspookyou,Hap
41、py.没错霍根我逮到你的助手小妹Thatsright.Ho-Ho-Hogan,IgotyourgirlFriday,但耶诞节我只要你butallIwantforChristmasisyou.这节日数来宝不赖呢Oh-ho!Gottaadmitthat,ssomesolidholidaywordplay.谢r五分钟后到阁楼Hey,thanks.Penthouse.Fiveminutes.否则实习生就得吃耶诞老人的子弹OryourinterngetsabulletfromSanta.可是我这么可爱Butmadorable.快乐帮个忙别逞英雄Oh,and,Happy,dousallafavor.Don
42、tbeahero.启动电梯我上来Turntheelevatoron.mcomingup.好看看这是什么Allright.Letsseewhatwegothere.这重量没声音我猜劳力士手表Giventheweight,nosound,mguessingitsaRolexwatch?老天亿万富豪收到美国队长袜子Oh,mygoodness.ThebillionairegotCaptainAmericasocks.媒体骗人这两人果然不合Wow,thepresslied.Thesetworeallydonotgetalong.高级袜子是很棒的礼物Qualitysockscanbeexcellentgi
43、ft.（电梯门开肩）快乐来借糖吗Hey,Happy,heretoborrowacupofsugar?轰了他1.ighthimup,fellas.快乐不Happy,no!来点无花果布丁So,giveussomefiggypudding!（让它下雪吧）让它下雪Wha-Letitsnow?我的妈呀Oh,sugarcookies.什么声音Whatthehellisthat?地震有地震吗Earthquake?Isitanearthquake?我想那是快乐霍根IthinkthatsHappyHogan.喂大怪兽抓狂了Uh,hello?Giantfreakontheloose.我付钱请你们是干什么的What
44、thehelldoyouthinkIpayyoufor?这个免谈Notthis.快啊瑜珈室KTV包厢真假Comeon,comeon.Yogaroom.Karaokestudio.Really?复仇者联盟军械库就是它Avengersarmory.Bingo!你的脖子比索尔还粗Wow.YourneckisthickerthanThors.很厉害吧精彩的还没开始呢Crazy,right?Andthepartyhasn,tevenstarted.听好如果能重启老贾1.ook,ifwecanrebootJARVIS.搞定了麻雀一号♥Alreadyonit,Sparrow-1.你说你依靠我那
45、意义重大Yousaidyouwerecountingonme.Thatmeanssomething.汉默去军械库了Hammersheadingtothearmory.我来对付他你们去重启老贾llhandlehim.YouguysgettoworkontheJARVISreboot.该教训一下汉默了It,stimeforthatHammertogetnailed.汉默Hammer!Hammer!你输了汉默不会有耶诞奇迹了Youlost,Hammer.AndtheresnotgonnabeaChristmasmiracle.说得跟真的一样浩克霍根Oh,famouslastwords,HulkHogan.天啊是耶诞老人Oh,myGod!ItsSanta!他是真的Hesrea
