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1、万圣节下午12:50GregPikitis.GregPikitis.你是公园女士对吧YouretheParkslady,right?是啊是这样我是公园女士Yeah,that,sright.mtheParkslady.1.eslieKnope我是来告诉你的今年要结束了1.eslieKnope.Andmheretotellyouthatthisyearitends.呃这个孩子把我逼疯了Ugh,thiskidmakesmecrazy.我们有段历史Greg和我Wegotahistory,GregandI.他是公园系统的恐♥怖♥分♥子♥Heabso
2、lutelyterrorizestheParkssystem.每个万圣节都有人毁坏Ramsett公园里Percy市长的雕像EveryHalloweensomeonedefacesthestatueofMayorPercyinRamsettPark.我知道肯定是GregPikitis但我从来无法证明是他AndIknowitsGregPikitis,butveneverbeenabletoproveit.他就像是个看不见的少年版的Heslikeaninvisible,adolescent,JamesBond超级坏人犯罪智多星JamesBondsupervillaincriminalmastermi
3、nd.或者可能是其他人干的Ormaybesomeoneelseisdoingit,但我真心觉得是这个小孩but1reallyfeellikeitsthiskid.整个公园部都在盯着你IvegottheentireParksDepartmentwatchingyou,我男朋友是个警♥察♥myboyfriendsacop,所以试都别试sodonteventryit.我不知道你在说啥哦我觉得你知道Idontknowwhatyouretalkingabout.-Oh,Ithinkyoudo.今天就结束了PikitiS今天就Itendstoday,Pikitis.Itends
4、.结To.束Day.谢谢你来看我LeSlie很美哦Thanksforstoppingby,Leslie.Youlookgreat.谢谢今天结束Thankyou.Endstoday.公园与游憩公园与游憩公园与游憩第2季第7集第2季第7集下午3:37嘿公园部Hey,ParksDepartment.耶Ann来了啊Yeah,Ann,shere.哦就是提醒你们今晚7点我家装扮Uh,justtoremindyou,tonight,7:00,myhouse,incostume.都来吧Everybodyin?来-来Yeah.-Yeah.酷好Cool.Okay.万圣节是我最喜欢的节目是最棒的Halloweeni
5、smyfavoriteholiday,itsjustthebest而且我不上班AndIdonthavetowork.嘿打扮成小野猫的性感少女们Hey,sluttyteenagegirlsdressedassexykittens,今年自己洗胃吧pumpyourownstomachsthisyear.哦还有一件事房♥间里这些人Oh,onemorething,thepeopleinthisroomnow是我邀请的加上Leslie和Donna所以别告诉其他人arethepeopleIinvited,plusLeslieandDonna,so,donttellanybody.谁没被邀请啊嘿
6、Who,snotinvited,then?-Hey!怎么啦小蛋糕很期待今晚的聚会啊Whatsgoingon,cupcake?Excitedaboutthepartytonight哦哦你要来啊我正准备跟你说来着Oh!Oh,you,recoming?Iwasjustabouttotellyou.)erry已经告诉我了Jerryalreadytoldme.等不及看到你的服装有多小了Cantwaittoseehowtinyyourcostumeis.几点开始Whattimedoesitstart?7点7:00.一至兀夫Perfect.是确实完美Yeah,it,sperfect.来看看Checkthis
7、out.这些是从GregPikitis家到哪像所有可能的路线TheseareallthepossibleroutesfromGregPikitishousetothestatue.这玩意儿看起来像是在连环杀手墙上能找到的东西ThatlookslikeSomethingyouwouldfindonthewallofaserialkiller.某种方面是称赞了Inaway,thatsacompliment.展示出我的献身精神-嗯Showsdedication.-Mmm.有什么大不了的啊我是说小孩子在雕像上扔点卫生纸Whatsthebigdeal,anyway?Imean,akidTPssomest
8、atue.还有所有的树和所有的椅子Andallthetreesandallthebenches.我们需要快十天的时间才能把这个烂摊子收拾完Ittakesus,like,10daystocleanhismessup.但更重要的是GregPikitis是个烂人我要毁灭他Butmoreimportantly,GregPikitissucks,andIwannadestroyhim.好吧如果毁灭完还早就顺便来玩Okay.WeILifyoudestroyhimearly,pleasecomeby.我会的Iwill.嘿这么搞还有谁能经过那个门啊Hey!Howissomeonegonnabeabletoge
9、tthroughthatdoor?哦Oh.哦怎么你在逗我吗Oh!Whatthe.Areyoukiddingme?Jerry消消气我来帮你Jerry!Relax.Here.啊WilliamPercyPawnee最伟大的市长之一Ah,WilliamPercy.OneofPawnee,sgreatestmayors.一个真正的英雄1922年Pawnee面包工厂火灾Andatruehero.DuringthePawneeBreadFactoryfireof1922,他跑回一栋起火的大楼heranbackintoaburningbuilding救出了人们钟爱的Pawnee裸麦粗面包的秘密配方andsav
10、edthebelovedsecretrecipeforPawneePumpernickel.那场火灾不是死了30个人吗Didnt,like,30peopledieinthatfire?他又不是超人HewasntSuperman.他看起来像RonSwanson是以他为原型造的雕像吗HelookslikeRonSwanson.Isthatwhothisisbasedon?不是以WilliamPercyNo.It,sbasedonWilliamPercy.你刚刚在听我讲吗WereyoulisteningtowhatIjustsaid?在听Yes.行Andy好消息Okay,Andy.Goodnews.
11、你正式登上公园部工资单rYoureofficiallyontheParksDepartmentpayroll.一小时八块$8anhour.记住这张脸Committhistomemory.你看见他就阻止他Youseehim,youstophim.必要的话打掉他脑袋Knockhisheadoffifyouhaveto.别那么做-别那么做Dontdothat.-Dontdothat.但我允许你使用极端暴♥力♥ButIgiveyoupermissiontouseexcessiveforce.不要使用暴♥力♥Dontuseexcessiveforc
12、e.别做过头Dontgooverboard.阻止他就行以一切必要手段Juststophim.Byanymeansnecessary.不不No.-No.阻止他Juststophim.懂我意思吗YouknowwhatImean?一周前我一无所有AweekagoIhadnothing.现在我有了一份兼♥职♥_L作我今晚能赚32块Now,Ihaveapart-timejob.mgonnamake32buckstonight.我欠LeSlie我拥有的一切IoweLeslieeverythingIhave.在今晚之后就是39块了Which,aftertonight,willbe
13、39bucks.你好AnnHello,Ann.嘿Hey!我来早了吗AmIearly?不你很准时Nope,youarerightontime.我喜欢你的装扮Ilikeyourcostume.哦谢谢是破烂娃娃Oh,thanks.RaggedyAnn.是我小时候最喜欢的书之一ItwasoneofmyfavoritebookswhenIwasakid.是吗Hmm.我是个海盗mapirate.对哦Right.哦嘿Harris医生你好吗Oh.Hey,Dr.Harris.Howareyou?Ann-谢谢Ann.-Thanks.呃这是RonSwanson来自公园部Um,thisisRonSwanson,fro
14、mtheParksDepartment.我认识他的因为我在做的那个事情这是Harris医生Iknowhimfromthatthingthatmdoing.ThisisDr.Harris.你是医生-对Youreadoctor.-Yup.我是说你的装扮1meantyourcostume.我知道Igotit.世界碰撞永远尴尬Worldscolliding,alwaysawkward.晚上8:22晚上8:22嫌犯仍在停车场和朋友打闹8:22p.m.Suspectstillwithfriendsinparkinglot.即使远距离观察他看起来也是又讨厌乂气人Helooksobnoxiousandirri
15、tating,evenfromagreatdistance.呃确认Uh,confirmed.通常我不喜欢在万圣节工作Normally,IhateworkingonHalloween,但和LeSlie相处就很好butitsnicehangingoutwithLeslie.你知道她很专注很投入Youknow,she,sfocused,shescommitted.她还在警车里跟我亲热r一下还挺棒的Andshemadeoutwithmeinmycopcar,whichisprettyneat.我不该那么说的我现在清楚了Ishouldnthavesaidthat.That,scleartomenow.你
16、们好Hey,guys.嘿记得我男朋友Derek和他男朋友Ben吧Hey.RemembermyboyfriendDerek,andhisboyfriendBen?记得你们好没有装扮过来完全没问题的Yeah,hi.Itstotallyokaythatyoudidntwearacostume.我装扮了啊我装扮成直人Idid.mastraightperson.嘿抱歉我来晚了Hey,sorrymlate.你看See?抱歉现在有点无聊不过会渐入佳境的Sorryitsalittlebitlamerightnow.Butwe,llgetitgoing.我推掉了个男同万圣节聚会来这的啊Ipassedupagay
17、Halloweenpartytobehere.你知道男同万圣节聚会有多好玩吗DoyouknowhowmuchfungayHalloweenpartiesare?去年我看到Jonas三兄弟和三个RobertPattinson亲热啊1.astyear,IsawthreeJonasBrothersmakeoutwiththreeRobertPattinsons.真的很棒Itwasamazing.所以你就是Ann约会的那个Mark啊So,youretheMarkthatAnnisdating.我觉得我是IsupposethatIam.我们非常保护Ann的我们会帮她留意的Wereveryprotecti
18、veofAnn.Welookoutforher.所以那个Andy是你们失职了啊不是么So,youkindofdroppedtheballwithAndythen,didntyou?嗷Andy啊Aw!Andy.我爱死Andy了IlovedAndy.啊他可太甜了Andy今晚来吗Ah,suchasweetheart.IsAndycomingtonight?你该回到Andy身边啊YoushouldgetbackwithAndy.谁要来一杯我要Whoneedsadrink?Ido.晚上8:56嫌犯与朋友嬉笑同时玩着他的蠢滑板Suspectlaughingwithfriendsandplayingwith
19、hisstupidskateboard以一种嘲笑的屎样的方式inasnide,turdishmanner.屎样？Turdish?是的像屎Yes.Likeaturd.像一小坨屎1.ikealittleturd.嘿听着你的恐吓战术显然有效Hey,listen,yourscaretacticsclearlyworked.你也让Andy把雕塑守住了YougotAndyguardingthestatue.不如我TJ去Ann的聚会WhydontwegotoAnn,sparty?会很好玩的Itllbefun.哦呃Oh.Uh.我们本来也要去那片区域巡视Wewantedtocoverthatblockanywa
20、y.需要警♥察♥到场Wantedapolicepresenceonit,所以这是在职责的.范围内so,thisiswithinthe.Confinesof.行我们走Sure,letsgo.是么好-是啊先去我办公室Yeah?Okay.-Yeah.We,llgobymyoffice把我的万圣节服装拿上-知道了andpickupmycostume.-Gotit.我们开车经过的时候不能鸣枪示警吗-不宝贝别碰Cantwejustfireawarningshotoverhisheadaswedriveby?-No,babe.Donttouchthat.离开现场看着愚蠢的嫌犯1.
21、eavinglocation.Lookatstupidsuspect.我讨厌嫌犯Ihatesuspect.我钥匙去哪了Wherearemykeys?门好像没锁1.ookslikeitsopen.真的是Really?-Yeah.万圣节快乐傻瓜们PikitisPikitis!士鳖万圣结巴们我们跟踪那个小孩几个小时了Wevebeentailingthatkidforacoupleofhours.我觉得肯定是其他人1mean,itmusthavebeensomebodyelse.就是PikitisItwasPikitis.相信我了吧Believemenow?我没看明白Thatdoesn,tmeanan
22、ythingtome.这是个桃核Thisisapeachpit.然后呢Okay.我找他谈话的时候他吃着个桃子HewaseatingapeachwhenIwenttogotalktohim.嗯哼？-这是他的黑桃AMmm-hmm?-Thisishisaceofspades.这是他的名片这是他留给所有受害者的东西Thisishiscallingcard.Thisiswhatheleavesallhisvictims.而且还是温的好现在去逮捕他Anditsstillwarm.Okay,goandarresthim.把这个送到实验室Andsendthistothelab.我们没有实验室Wedonthav
23、ealab.嗨AprilHi,April.不行你年龄还不够Okay,youreunderage.你够了啊嘿Yourenot.-Hey.啊我准备走了Yeah,mgonnaleave.哦好吧Oh.Okay.这确实没啥意思Thisisntthatfun.不用这么跟我说啦Didntneedtotellmethat.我准备把这个带回家mgonnatakethishome.反正也没人喝我&hearts汗♥脆带走了Nobodywasdrinkingit,somgonnatakeit.好吧-这本书我也拿走了Okay.-Gonnatakethis,too.一直想读来着Beenmeaningtore
24、adit.好吧严格来说这不是合法的Okay,thisisntstrictlylegal.我们可以跟他聊一个小时然后我就得放他走了Wecantalktohimformaybeanhour,andthenIgottalethimgo.你先和他聊你长得比较凶Youtalktohimfirst.Youhaveascaryface.怎么这么说啊-不是好的那种凶Hey.-No,inagoodway.可爰的凶-是公Scarycute.-Yeah?去跟他聊-好Gotalktohim.-Okay.不是我♥干♥的我保证Ididntdothis,man.Ipromise.孩子我是警&he
25、arts;察♥好吗你不该对我撒谎Now,son,mapoliceofficer.Okay?Youshouldntlietome.我没撒谎我从没来过这里mnot.veneverbeenherebefore.而且我为啥要这么做AndwhywouldIdothis?因为你和Knope女士有过节Becauseyouvehadrun-inswithMissKnopeinthepast.稍等Justasecond.怎么问他桃核的事Yeah?-Askhimaboutthepeachpit.这不是单面镜你知道的吧我能看到你Thisisntone-wayglass,youknow.Icanseey
26、ou.其实我挺喜欢Knope的Youknow,IlikeKnope.我跟她开玩笑因为她一点就着Iscrewwithhercauseshegetsallriledup,然后她的脸就会挤在一起像这样andherfacegetsallscruncheduplikethis.但我挺喜欢她她还好啦ButIlikeher.Shesallright.看到没-咋Yousee?-What?我花了一整天来装饰这个地方Ispentthewholedaydecoratingthisplace,结果所有人都在厨房♥andeverybodysinthekitchen.为什么所有人总是在厨房♥W
27、hyiseveryonealwaysinthekitchen?我觉得还好啊1thinkitsgoingfine.太安静了It,ssoquiet我的天哪我的天哪我的天哪Oh,myGod.Oh,myGod.Oh,myGod.这是个完完全全的失败这个聚会失败了Thisisatotalfailure.Thispartyisafailure.我的天哪没有没有Oh,myGod.-No,no.不是失败啊Ann没事的Itsnotafailure,Ann.Comeon.Ann你有巧克力棒吗我只能找到杏仁糖Ann,doyouhaveanyMounds?BecauseallIcanfindareAlmondJoys
28、.杏仁会让我拉肚子Andalmondsgivemethesquirts.嘿我来了雕像没事Hey,mhere.Statuesfine.”土鳖万圣结巴们”这也太好笑了那孩子在哪CrappyHallowieners.That,shilarious.Wheresthekid?在会议室试图掩盖他显然的罪行Intheconferenceroom.Tryingtohidehisobviousguilt.1.eslie我不知道这么说我觉得不是他干的1.eslie,Idontknowwhattotellyou.Idontthinkhedidit.是的就是他我们需要他认罪Yeah,hedid.Andweneeda
29、confession.好吧Andy和我要出去走走Okay.AndyandIaregoingtotakeawalk.留下你和Pikitis还有这些钳子Anditsgonnabejustyou,Pikitis,andthesepliers.我可不会折磨这个孩子1.ook,mnotgonnatorturethiskid.没人说过折磨哦Nobodysaidtorture.让我去试试他吧老板Whydontyouletmetakearunathim,boss?想像他们一样地想你就得像他们一样地想Inordertothinklikeoneoftheseguys,youhavetothinklikethem.
30、是哦他从没见过你Yeah.Hesneverseenyoubefore.所以暗示你是重要人物Soimplythatyouresomeoneveryimportant能让他生不如死andthatyoucanmakehislifehell.GregPikitisGregPikitis?要不要来点沸腾的热咖啡倒你脸上Wouldyoulikesomeboilinghotcoffeeinyourface?我的名字是BertMacklinMynameisBertMacklin.我他妈是FBImwiththefuckingFBI.哦这是同一种薯片吗Ooh.Arethesethesamekindofchips?
31、Ann咋滴啦美女Ann!Whatsup,gorgeous!完美Perfect.把你的破烂衣服穿过来妹砸GetyourRaggedyassoverhere,girl.嘿Tom爰丽丝的疯帽子吗Hey,Tom.MadHatter?说唱歌♥手T-Pain啊宝贝T-Pain,baby!*她跳舞她滚来她滚去*Shepoppin,sherollin,sherollin*她爬上那杆子我爱上脱衣舞娘*Sheclimbinthatpoleandminlovewithastripper这不是脱衣舞娘这是我老婆Wendy记得她吗Thisisnotastripper.It,smywife,Wendy.Yo
32、urememberher?嗨感谢你邀请我们-是嗨当然Hi.Thankyousomuchforinvitingus.-Yes,hi.Sure.她是中心医院的外科医生而且她美爆了ShesasurgeonatCountyGeneral,andshe,ssuperhot.谢谢你作为医生没有穿制♥服♥过来Well,thankyouforbeingadoctorandnotcomingdressedasadoctor.哦天啊什么人会无聊到那么做啊Oh,myGod.Who,dbeboringenoughtodothat?Ann这里发生了什么你告诉所有人Ann,whathappen
33、edhere?Didyoutelleveryone他们明天要做骨髓移植吗theyregonnahavetogetabonemarrowtransplanttomorrow?他们看起来太可怜了这个聚会是个灾难Theylookmiserable.Thispartysadisaster.不没有啊-是确实是No,itsnot.-Yes,itis.别担心等我们来救场-是的Dontworryaboutit.Wecanfixthis.-Totally.给我们一分钟Giveusasecond.看起来Andy把他搞累了闭嘴1.ookslikeAndyswearinghimdown.-Shutup!我去结束了他m
34、gonnagofinishhimoff.这是我听过最蠢的事情Thatisthedumbestthingveeverheard.你就不能闭嘴吗Whydontyoujustshutupforasecond?发生什么了Whatsgoingoninhere?他是个混♥蛋♥他也太过混♥蛋♥了He,sajerk.Hesbeingsuchajerk.对人说这种话也太过分了Thatsanawfulthingtosaytoahumanbeing!你在哭吗Areyoucrying?不我没在哭好吗No,Iamnotcrying,okay?我对混♥
35、蛋♥过敏mallergictojerks!好吧Andy出去Okay.Andy,out.行反正我也无所谓太蠢了Fine,andIdontevencare!Itsstupid.好吧现在来真的了Okay.Theglovesarecomingoff.这是什么我想你知道这是什么What,sthat?-1thinkyouknowwhatthatis.我去学校找你的时候你吃着一颗桃子WhenIcametovisityouattheschool,youwereeatingapeach.然后我的办公室被破坏了Thenmyofficegetsvandalized,有人还在我桌上留下个桃核andsom
36、ebodyleavesapeachpitonmydesk?我不觉得这是个巧合啊GregIdontthinkthatsacoincidence,Greg.哇你抓到我了Wow,younailedme.因为两个不同的人完全不可能Imean,theresnowaythattwodifferentpeoplecouldhaveeatenthesamefruit在同一天在印第安纳州同一块区域吃同一种水果inthesameday,inthesameareaofIndiana.更不用说你早间见我的时候我吃的是李子NevermindthatIwasactuallyeatingaplumwhenyousawmee
37、arlier.我知道是你做的我不在乎你说的什么Iknowyoudidthis.Idontcarewhatyousay.我不在乎你整晚都在停车场呆着1dontcarethatyouwereintheparkinglotallnight.反正你找到办法闯进来Somehowyoufoundawaytogetinhere.等等等等等等Wait,wait,wait.你是怎么知道我整晚都在停车场的呢Howdidyouknowthat1wasintheparkinglotallnight?因为我跟踪你了啊天才BecauseIfollowedyou,genius!如果你整晚都跟着我那你应该知道不是我&hear
38、ts;十♥的啊Ifyoufollowedmeallnightthenyouknowthatitwasntme.Knope你什么毛病啊Knope,whatisyourproblem?我可一直都是文明的1.ook,Ihavebeenverycivil.但我会给你上水刑的ButIwillwaterboardyou.不不No,no.我觉得她当不了好警♥察♥1dontthinkshewouldmakeagoodcop.我在她当警♥察♥的镇上生活会很害怕的实话讲Iwouldbefrightenedtoliveinatownthatshe
39、sthecopOffrankly.你在干什么呢Whatareyoudoing?Ann你是想让我活跃气氛还是怎样Ann,doyouwantmetoliventhingsupornot?当然想那就淡定下OfcourseIdo.-Allright,thenrelax.关掉所有没颜色的灯泡Andturnoffallthelightsthatdonthavecoloredbulbs.好吧把猪肉卷都先卷到一边吧Allright,yall!Takethepigsintheblanketandputthemtosleep!现在该荡起来了Itstimetogetwild!把这些家具搬出去我们搞个舞池出来Gett
40、hisfurnitureoutofhere,yall,weremakingadancefloor.来吧把火鸡卷也放下差不多要荡起来了Comeon,yall.Puttheturkeywrapsdown.Wereabouttogetwild.RonSwanson也在这里哟RonSwanson,sinthebuilding,yall!他妈妈马上要来了拜托了Dave逮捕他Hismomsgonnabeheresoon.Please,Dave,justarresthim.以什么名义啊Onwhatcharge?先铐起来再说吧Justhandcuffhimtosomething.GreggyGregGregg
41、y?Greg!Gregsy-妈Gregsy!-Mom!Pikitis夫人你好我是LeSIieKnope这位是Sanderson警官Mrs.Pikitis?Hi,mLeslieKnope,thisisOfficerSanderson.BertMacklinFBIBertMacklin,FBI.你们觉得自己在干嘛Whatthehelldoyouthinkyouredoing?你们不能违背意愿监禁一个16岁的小孩Youcantjustholda16-year-oldkidagainsthiswill.我们只是在问他破坏公物的事情Well,weweretryingtoquestionhimaboutt
42、hisvandalism.你们有什么证据吗有啊Doyouhaveanyevidence?-Yes.不不我们没有一两个字桃核No.No.Wedont-Twowords,peachpit桃核？-他的DNA全在上面了我假设Peachpit?-HisDNAisalloverit,Iassume.我们并不知道我们可以去检测Wedontknowthat.-Wecangetittested.我们不能-如果符合你的DNAWecant-AndifitmatchesyourDNA,那你要蹲很久的监狱了-他不会thenyouregoingawayforalongtime.-Itwon,t.这是个玩笑吗Isthisa
43、joke?不我要打给你的值班指挥官No.-mcallingyourshiftcommander.周一早上我要打给你的老板Mondaymorning,Iamcallingyourboss.我不知道举报你要给谁打电♥话♥Idontknowwhotocallaboutyou.美♥利♥坚♥合众国总统ThePresidentoftheUnitedStatesofAmerica.行啊如果你们任何人再接近我儿子Fine.Andifanyofyouevercomenearmysonagain,向上帝发誓我会把你们和这栋楼里的每个人都告了Is
44、weartoGodIwillsueyouandeveryoneinthisbuilding.走吧亲爱的Comeon,honey.让他们觉得他们赢r然后.1.etthemthinktheyvelostus.Thenwere.你要去哪Whereareyougoing?我得去跟我头说一声为何非法关押了一个少年IgottagotellmybosswhyIillegallydetainedateenager.我不该掺和这事的Ishouldnthavegotteninvolvedwiththis.这是这是建吴的警♥察♥工作It,sjust.It,sjustbadpolicewo
45、rk.是啊这也是错误的FBI工作我的错Yeah,itwasbadFBIwork,too.Mybad.今晚T-Pain里的T代表TOmHaverfordTonight,theTinT-PainstandsforTomHaverfordl护士大战医生听我口令Nursesversusdoctors.Onmymark,Three,two,one.伏特加-开始Vodka!-Go!孩子这套衣服也太赞了Son.Thatisonehellofacostume.谢谢Thanks.天啊真好看聚会不错Damn,thatsgood.Niceparty.谢谢Thanks.为什么会有人这么做Whywouldanyonedothis?孩子就是孩子所有人高中都做过这种蠢事Kidsarekids.Everybodydoesst
