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1、嘿-嘿Hey.-Hey.我打扰了什么国家大事吗AmIinterruptingsomethingimportant?不可能啊我为政♥府♥_L4、Impossible.Iworkforthegovernment.我刚刚把姑娘们接来了觉得我们该过来转转Ijustpickedupthegirls.Thoughtwe,dstopby.姑娘们怎么Howarethegirls.是的她们来了你们好啊女孩们Yes,theyare.Hello,girls.最近Diane和我频繁见面DianeandIhavebeenseeingalotofeachother,recently.她是一位精
2、明自信强大的女人Sheisasharp,confident,strongwoman.她的孩子们声音很大Herchildrenareloud.功夫Kungfu!麻烦来了Herecomestrouble!这太好玩了Thisisfun.小心点姑娘们Easy,girls.我们会小心的Lewis小姐Wellbecareful,MissLewis.对不起我搞定了msorry.Igotit.我们只是想来邀请你今晚去讨糖吃Wejustwantedtoinviteyoutocometrickortreatingtonight.我觉得我超龄了Ithinkmalittleold.我们能去吗Ron拜托了Canwego
3、,Ron,please?拜托-当然你也能来Please?-Youcancome,sure.但我们7点就得去不然好糖果就都没了ButWehavetogoby7:00orelsethegoodcandywillbegone.听起来不错Soundsperfect.来吧姑娘们Comeon,girls.拜RonBye,Ron!回头见RonSeeyoulater,Ron!今晚再见Seeyoutonight!刚刚究竟发生了啥Whatthehelljusthappened?公园与游憩公园与游憩第5季第5集第5季第5集所以三间卧室两间浴室一个挺好的大院子So,threebedrooms,twobaths,nic
4、ebigbackyard.但没有蹦床室对吧Butnotrampolineroom,correct?是的Correct像世界上所有的房♥子一样没有蹦床室1.ikeallhousesintheworld,there,snotrampolineroom.嗯Mmm.Ben十天后就从华盛顿回来了而我们要一起搬进一座房♥子BeniscomingbackfromD.C.in10daysandwearemovingintoahousetogether.他可以搬去我那边但那是个恐怖噩梦般的囤积者之巢Hewouldmoveintomyplace,butitsascarynightmar
5、ehoardernest.他的原话还有Ann的原话Hiswords.AndAnns.还有健康部门官方报告的原话AndtheofficialreportfiledbytheHealthDepartment.你们需要三间卧室吗Youguysneedthreebedrooms?嗯主卧是给我们的Well,themasterisforus.然后第二间卧室是我们的办公室andthenthesecondbedroomisouroffice,我们会坐在双人办公桌上wherewewillsitatatwo-persondesk为自己的专栏写下针硬时弊的文章andwritedevastatingop-edpiec
6、esaboutsocialills.挺好玩的房♥间我就知道Thatsafunroom.-1know.那第三问呢-那是OPrah套房♥Andwhataboutthethird?-ThatstheOprahsuite.那是OPrah来镇上时住的位置ThatswhereOprahstayswhenshesintown.但其他客人也能呆那里对吧Butotherguestscanstaythere,right?我不知道让OPrah决定吧Idontknow.ThatsOprahscall.我就是太高兴Ben和我能在这里开始我们的生活了mjustsoexcitedthatBena
7、ndIaregonnabestartingourliveshere.感觉我的未来终于回到正轨rItfeelslikemyfuturesfinallybackontrack.Martha我要租下这套房♥子Martha,Iwannaleasethishouse.很好Great.觉得会比刚刚更戏剧化一点呢Thoughtitwasgonnabemoredramaticthanthat.等等Holdon.好再说一遍Okay,sayitagain.Martha我要租卜这套房♥子Martha,Iwannaleasethishouse.呜Whoo!公园部ParksDepartmen
8、t!ChrisTraeger市政经理朋友希望成为的人生教练ChrisTraegencitymanager,friend,aspiringlifecoach以及心理咨♥询♥中的RichardNygard医生最佳进步病人奖得主andrecipientofDr.RichardNygard,sawardforMostImprovedPatientformypsychotherapysessions.哇那也太棒了ChrisWow,that,sgreat,Chris.祝贺啊-谢了JerryCongrats.-Thanks,Jerry.只是张纸而已It,sjustapieceof
9、paper,而且是我明确请求之后他给我做的andheonlymadeitformeafterIspecificallyaskedforit求的时候还哭了但是.whilecryingloudly,but.接受这个奖当然意义重大Itsuremeantalottoreceiveit为庆祝万圣节InhonorOfHalloween,市政经理办公室会在院子里举办恐怖电影之夜thecitymanagersofficewillbethrowingascarymovienightinthecourtyard.今晚的电影是1986年的户外恐怖经典Tonightsfilmisthe1986horrorcampcl
10、assic,一部谣传存在的假恐怖电影死亡独木舟4:血湖谋杀DeathCanoe4:MurderAtBloodLake.认真的吗那可是最好的一部啊Seriously?Thatsthebestone!我希望没人介意我推特直播这个姨♥子♥IhopenoonemindsifIlive-tweetthisbitch.我会穿成我最害怕的东西前来Iamcomingdressedasmygreatestfear,因为RichardNygard医生觉得我应该直面恐惧becauseDr.RichardNygardfeelsthatIshouldfacemyfears而不是逃避inste
11、adofrunningfromthem.他很有智慧我一周见他5次Hesverywise.1seehimfivetimesaweek.他把我的生命像只虚弱的小鸟一样捏在手里Heholdsmylifeinhishandlikeafragilelittlebird.今晚见Seeyoutonight!嗯MUrray议员领先了18个百分点Well,CongressmanMurrayhasan18-pointlead.Calloway资金不足已经停止竞选Callowayisoutofmoneyandhasstoppedcampaigning.所以祝贺So,congratulations!干得好所有人是啊G
12、reatwork,allofyou!-Yeah.尤其是我Especiallyme!尤其是每个人这是集体努力的成果真的Especiallyeveryone.Thiswasateameffort,really.但我是最好的谢谢你们ButIwasthebest.Thankyou.你们都是很好的Youwereallfantastic.最好的是我AprilLudgate真正的英雄Mostofallme,AprilLudgate,therealhero.谢谢你们不用谢Thankyouandyourewelcome.实际上April如果你想你可以早点回Pawnee了Actually,April,ifyouw
13、ant,youcanheadbacktoPawneeearly.给几件事收尾然后.-棒哦Wrapafewthingsupand.-Great.呜真是个好退场Whoo!Thatsanexit.走了但不会被忘记Gone,butneverforgotten.那是谁啊我开玩笑的Whowasthat?mjustkidding.嗯所有人干得漂亮再说一次Well,everybody,greatjob!Onceagain.是的所有人你们每一位Yes!Everybody!-Allofyou!我能跟你聊会儿吗CanItalktoyouforasec?不错吧对吧你知道我必须说Murray真的脱险Notbad,rig
14、ht?Youknow,Ihavetosay,Murrayreallycamethrough.是是这次结束了我们赢r干得好之类之类之类Yeah,yeah,thisonesover.Wewon.Greatjob.Blah,blah,blah.我们聊聊你接下来要干什么1.etstalkaboutwhatyouregonnadonext.嗯我准备来份芝十鸡肉然后看银翼杀手来着Well,1wasgonnagetachickenparmandwatchBladeRunner.哦你说的是就是工作方面Oh.Areyoutalkingabout,like,job-wise?是的Ben我说的是就是工作方面Yes,
15、Ben,Iamtalkingabout,like,job-wise.所以你也是个公主啊嘿Soyoureaprincess,too,hey?扮演Diane的演员LucyLawless在战上公主西娜扮演过6年的主角哦过去四年里一切都是公主主题的Oh.Forthelastfouryears,everythinghasbeenprincesses.每一本书每一部电影每一个背包Everybook,everymovie,everybackpack.永远都是公主Allprincessesallthetime.听起来真好玩是个噩梦Thatsoundsfun.-Ifsanightmare.抱歉我就去归档一个快速
16、报告Excuseme,Ijusthavetofileaquickreport.我很快就要去申请警♥察♥学校了mapplyingtothepoliceacademysoon,手册上说我需要练习我的观察技巧所以andthemanualsaysIhavetoworkonmyobservationskillsso.树树叶晚上天手Andy的手Tree,leaves,night,sky,hand.Andyshand.还能有啥Whatelseyougot?晚上7:22雪松顶路143号♥无人应门7:22p.m.Igotnobodyansweringthedoorat1
17、43CedarCrestDrive.门是凉的可能情况,Doorscold.Possiblescenarios.大盗窃罪有人偷走了暧气Grandlarceny.Somebodystoletheheater.我觉得没人在家Ithinknooneshome.你为啥不把观察留给专业人员来做呢RonWhydontyouleavetheobservingtotheprofessionals,Ron?没看到Didntseethat.哦不副校长紧急事件Oh,no.Viceprincipalemergency.是什么呢-我得走了Whatisit?-1havetoleave.抓到几个傻孩子在足球场上拉屎了吗Som
18、eidiotkidswerecaughtpoopingonthesoccerfield?哦太坏了我猜讨糖活动结束了Oh!Toobad.Guesstrickortreatingsover.别啊妈咪别No,Mommy,no!不我们可以带她们玩没问题的我们才刚刚开始呢No,Wecanwalkthemaround,it,snoproblem.Imean,Wejustgotstarted.哦你们真是太好了Oh,thatssosweetofyou.现在女士们妈咪公主要去照顾几个坏家伙了Now,ladies,PrincessMommyhastogotakecareofsomebadguys,所以你们对Ron
19、和Andy好一点好吗soyoubenicetoRonandAndy,okay?好的我们去下一栋房♥子吧Okay,let,sgotothenexthouse.我要去上洗手间Ineedtogotothebathroom.我.我不知道该怎么应对1.Ihavenoideawhattodoaboutthat.啊哦Uh-oh.实际电影片段来自血钩是死亡独木舟哦It,sthedeathcanoe.把你的脚从水里拿出来傻♥逼♥Getyourfootoutthewater,dumb-ass!这可是血湖啊ItsBloodLake.这个我没看过前三部死亡独木舟电影Now,I
20、missedthefirstthreeDeathCanoefilms.到底为什么是死亡独木舟呢Whyexactlyisitadeathcanoe?是因为很容易翻船吗Doesittipovereasily?去翻我的TWitterReadmyTwitterfeed.我今早为了准备Twitter直播了前三部Ilive-tweetedthefirstthreethismorninginpreparation.在第五部里独木舟实际上还是主角Inthefifthone,thecanoesactuallythehero.是个疯狂反转It,sacrazytwist.好了看看这个看看这个Okay.Watchth
21、is.Watchthis.”#超搞笑的胡,Hashtag,hilarious!哈我.“天Boo!-Holy.God!不是吧大哥Comeon,man.你是打算扮成什么啊一个鬼吗你眼睛的洞呢Whatareyousupposedtobe,aghost?Whereareyourholesforyoureyes?这张床单可是织物密度1200的埃及棉Thissheetis1,200threadcountEgyptiancotton.我不会在上面戳洞的mnotpokingholesinit.所以基本上你装扮的是一堆没洗的衣服吗So,basically,yourejustgoingasapileoflaund
22、ry?装扮不错啊Sweetcostume.我一般在万圣节都要大搞特搞但我有点点现金流的问题IusuallydoitupbigonHalloween,butmhavingabitofacash-flowissue.但没问题的It,sokaythough.我下一个生意大点子转角就能遇到了Mynextbigbusinessideaisalwaysrightaroundthecorner.转角哪啪Cornersnaps.那不是个主意那只是两个随机词语Thatsnotanidea.That,sjusttworandomwords.嘿-嘿Hey.-Hey.二战时期鼓励女性加入工厂的”我们能做到”(Weca
23、ndoit!)海报形象你是那个那个女士你是.Yourethe.-Theladyandyourethe.疑为美国奥♥运♥服装美国万岁-酷很棒USA!-Cool.Great.生意等等这是什么意思呢Soholdon,whatdoesthismean?意思是Jen想让我继续为她工作ItmeansJenwantsmetokeepworkingforher.佛罗里达有个商人想竞选州长TheresabusinessmaninFloridawhowantstorunforgovernor.佛罗里达吗那边有鲨鱼啊Florida?TheyhavesharksinFlorida.还有沼泽
24、还有沼泽鲨鱼Andswamps.Andswampsharks.你是说短吻鳄吗Doyoumeanalligators?可能吧那所以你要做吗Maybe.Look,soareyougonnadoit?我是说我刚刚租下了一栋房♥子我们应该1mean,1justappliedforalease.Weweresupposedto.我知道我也知道这让未来有点朦胧rIknow,andIknowthismakesthefuturealittlemurky,但现在一切都还在很预备的阶段好吗butrightnoweverythingsreallypreliminary,okay?我们一周左右就能知道更
25、多细节了We,llknowmoreinaweekorso.不给糖就捣蛋Trickortreat!下午7:34男性装扮成宅男7:34p.m.Mandressedasanerd.女性装扮成疯巫婆Femaledressedascrazywitch.我们两人都没装扮啊Neitherofusisincostume.结案给糖谢谢Caseclosed.Candy,please.RonZoe搞坏了我的皇冠Ron,Zoebrokemytiara!我们都有同样的皇冠现在她有我没有了Webothhavethesametiara.NowshehasoneandIdont.好吧-我不是故意的IvyOkay.-1didn
26、tmeanto,Ivy!好吧嗯我们来平均一下Okay,well,Iet,sjusteventhingsout.好了现在你们俩都没有皇冠了There.Nowneitherofyouhasatiara.问题解决Problemsolved.无情海盗惹小女孩哭Meanpiratemakeslittlegirlscry.哦Oh!正中脸盘Rightinhisface!”下巴的事抱歉啦孩子”Sorryaboutyourjaw,son.这也太恶心了我不能看这个Thatsdisgusting.Icantwatchthis.那就别去里面吧Thendont.Goinside.RichardNygard医生说我需要直
27、面我的恐惧Dr.RichardNygardsaysthatIneedtoconfrontmyfears.而我的恐惧之一就是恐怖电影Andoneofmyfearsisscarymovies.我的另一个恐惧就是变老Anotheroneofmyfearsisgrowingold和变大肚所以我才穿成这个样子andpaunchy,whichiswhymdressedlikethis.你看我们都会变老1.ook,weallgetold.老化是人生的一部分Agingisapartoflife.Chris的治疗是一件幸事Chrisstherapyhasbeenablessing.跟他身体接触从没这么简单过Ge
28、ttingbody-to-bodycontactwithhimhasneverbeeneasier.就在事情刚刚开始好转的时候就瓦解了Justwhenthingsstarttoturnaround,theyfallapart.现在我准确知道珍珠港事件后罗斯福的感受了NowIknowexactlyhowFDRfeltafterPearlHarbor.你看你俩已经经历这么多了1.ook,youguyshavesurvivedthislong.别让这件事毁了你的晚上Pleasedontletthisruinyournight.我们来玩一下今天是万圣节啊你爱万圣节的1.etshavefun.ItsHa
29、lloween.YouloveHalloween.嘿我知道怎么让你高兴起来了Hey,1knowwhatwouldcheeryouup.我们在洗手间门口等Tom然后吓他1.etsgowaitoutsidethebathroomforTomandscarehim.那确实会让我高兴Thatwouldcheermeup.好吧Okay.准备好Readyand.哈哈Boo!-Boo!Jerry天啊恶心Jerry,God.Gross.哦Oh!)erry)erry?伙计们我Guys,I.哦天啊我觉得他可能心脏病发作了Oh,God,Ithinkhemightbehavingaheartattack.什么你认真的
30、吗What?Areyouserious?哦现在发生了好多事情啊Oh!Somuchstuffishappeningrightnow.报♥警♥-好Call911.-Okay.保持呼吸好吗你会没事的Justbreathe,okay?Youregonnabefine.哦哎呀一只恐龙刚刚放屁了吗Oh,geez!Didadinosaurjustfart?Jerry控制下-抱歉伙计们Jerry,getagrip.-Sorry,guys.恶不接受道歉Ugh!Apologynotaccepted.别说话白♥痴♥Stoptalking,moron.我希望我能
31、别呼吸了一大哥IwishIcouldstopsmelling.-Dude.认真的Jerry你午饭吃的是屁吗Seriously,Jerry,didyoueatfartsforlunch?TomJerry心脏病发作了Tom!Jerryshavingaheartattack.哦不我不知道啊JeITy你还好吗Oh,no,Ididntknowthat.Jerry,youokay?好吧我给你带了点杂&hearts洁♥和你喜欢的那些无聊字谜Okay,Igotyousomemagazinesandthoseboringwordjumblesyouliketodo.还有什么需要的吗J或许来点舒屁片
32、Isthereanythingelseyouneed,J?MaybesomeGas-X?哈哈TomHa-ha,Tom.他怎么样TAnn直接跟我说Howishe,Ann?Giveittomestraight.他很好他一两天之后就能出院了Hesgreat.Heshouldbeoutofhereinadayortwo.这是真的吗还是你只是想让他好受一点因为他要完蛋了Isthatforreal,orareyoujusttryingtomakehimfeelbetterbecausehesdoomed?嗯一切都不确定Well,nothingsforsure.医生我来问你个问题Doctor,letmeas
33、kyouaquestion.医学上讲你要怎么描述Jerry发生的事Medicallyspeaking,howwouldyoudescribewhathappenedtoJerry?他有一次轻微的心脏病发作Hehadamildheartattack.是啊但他也表现出过分的胀气Yeah,buthealsoexhibitedexcessiveflatulence.心脏病发作时释放这么多气体有什么特殊术语吗Isthereatermforhavingaheartattackwhilereleasingsomuchgas?真没有Notreally.肠胃不适是心脏病发时的常见症状Gastrointestin
34、aldistressiscommonduringacardiacevent.我只想听到医生说Jerry来了次心脏屁发作IjustwanttohearthedoctorsaythatJerryhadafartattack.这么指望很过分吗Isthattoomuchtoask?太感谢rThankyousomuch.看看这些气球啊还有花啊还有吃的还有1.ookatalltheballoonsandtheflowersandthefoodand.我的天哪你们这么频繁来看真的太暖心了Mygoodness,youresosweettocomevisitthisoften.嗯确实是她们闹出来的喂喂Well,
35、theydidcauseit.-Hey.没事没关系的No.Thatsokay.我很高兴发生了这种事mgladthishappened.我觉得是的我可以没有这些巨额医疗费1mean,yeah,Icoulddowithoutthemassivehospitalbills,但不这是我的警钟but,no,thiswasawakeupcall.我要做出一些改变了mgonnamakesomechanges.我至少还想和Gayle和姑娘们活上30年呢Iwantatleastanother30yearswithGayleandmygirls.别担心Jerry好吗Dontworry,Jerry,okay?你会拥
36、有一直计划中的那种未来的Youaregonnahavethefuturethatyouvealwaysplanned.就交给我们吧Justleaveittous.好的所以我安排公园部Okay,soIhavearrangedfortheParksDepartment为Jerry举办一场大型车♥库♥拍卖♥♥募捐tothrowahugegaragesalefundraiserforJerry帮他筹集医药费tohelppayforhishospitalbills.Pawnee政♥府♥雇员的医保有点烂ThePawneem
37、unicipalemployeehealthcareplaniskindofcrappy.有一次我扭伤了手腕OnetimeIsprainedmywrist而我们的保险主张有一个手腕是“原有疾病”andourinsuranceclaimedthathavingawristwasapre-existingcondition.宝我这顶帽子要卖♥♥多少钱Babe,howmuchshouldIsellthishatfor?我不知道啊8分钱吧1dontknow,8cents?亲爱的这是我第一次听到PearlJam的Vitalogy时戴的那顶Honey,thisisthehatI
38、waswearingthefirsttimeIeverheardVitalogybyPearlJam.哦$900吧Oh!$900.是啊听起来差不多Yeah,thatsoundsaboutright.Ron你啥也不卖♥♥吗Ron,yourenotsellinganything?我卖♥♥这张桌子我做的Iamsellingthistable.Imadeit.好桌子:$500.00所以我何时能见到你的新爱人SowhenamIgonnameetyournewlover?我恐怕和Diane进人了艰难时期mafraidthingshavehitarou
39、ghpatchwithDiane.她对我照看孩子的表现不满意Shewasnotpleasedwithmybabysittingperformance在我手♥机♥上留了一条非常大声的消息、andleftmeaveryloudmessageonmycellphone.我很确定你道歉的话她会原谅的msureshellgetoveritifyoujustsayyouresorry,though.我喜欢Diane但我不确定我是否准备好迎接整个家庭IlikeDiane,butmnotsureifmreadyforawholefamily.如果孩子们想来我的地方Ifthekids
40、everwantedtocometomyplace,我必须要一周不上班dhavetotakeawholeweekoffwork才能把所有警报和绊网拆掉justtoundothealarmsandtripwires.嘿那是我的名字啊Hey,thatsmyname.是啊那是我的ChrisTraeger盒子Yeah,thatsmyChrisTraegerbox.所有这些盒子代表不同时期前任的东西AlltheseboxesrepresentStufffromdifferenterasofex-boyfriends.哦Oh.这是我给你买♥♥的你特别喜欢的踝部加重袋Herear
41、ethoseankleweights1boughtyouthatyoulikedsomuch.哦我们戴着这些走了不少好路呢0h,wehadsomegoodwalksinthese.如果这些踝部加重袋可以说话Iftheseankleweightscouldtalk.他们会说“一块钱把我带走吧”Theydsay,Buymeforadollar.AnnPerkinsAnnPerkins.最近Leslie指出有时我和一个男的约会时Recently,LesliepointedoutthatsometimeswhenIdatesomeone,我有点会吸收对方的个性Ikindofadoptthatperso
42、nspersonality.证据还是相当充分的Theevidenceisfairlydamning.ChrisTraeger运动时期ChrisTraeger,exercisephase.AndyDwyer我的垃圾摇滚时期AndyDwyer,mygrungephase.TomHaverford我的不必要购物时期TomHaverford,myneedlessshoppingphase.“浪子时间”也是我的信♥用♥卡♥债务时期Alsomycreditcarddebtphase.AnnPerkinsAnnPerkins.有利于Jerry的孩子们的爸的车&hea
43、rts;库♥拍卖♥♥感谢各位的前来下午好Thankyousomuchforcoming.Goodafternoon.你们很多人都知道了JerryGergich我们的朋友Asmanyofyouknow,JerryGergich,ourfriend,遭遇了一次毁灭性的心脏屁发作hassufferedadevastatingfartattack,而我们是来帮忙的andweareheretohelp.所以这里有我要处理的一些特别的拍卖♥♥物品SotherearesomespecialauctionitemsIwillbedealin
44、gwith.第一件拍卖♥♥物品是一本签名版自传Thefirstitemupforbidisaninscribedautobiography来自Pawnee新闻主持PerdHapleyfromPawneenewscasterPerdHapley.书名是关于我的这件事是:我是PerdHapleyThebooksentitledTheThingAboutMeIsmPerdHapley.无论如何我们从$20起拍$20Anyway,let,sstartthebiddingat$20.$20.谢谢你先生$20有$30的吗Thankyousir,for$20,DoIsee$30?
45、哦看看这个景色啊-谢谢0h!Lookatthisview!-Thankyou.Kurtzwilder先生愿意帮助我们的话Mr.Kurtzwilder,itmightbehelpfulifyoutoldus可以说说您为何想当佛罗里达州州长吗whyyouwanttobegovernorofFlorida.嗯我猜你可以说我的故事是经典的佛罗里达成功Well,1guessyoucouldsaymineistheclassicFloridasuccessstory.我在西蒙菲莎读了法学院IwenttoSFUlawschool,我在奥兰多的一个小公♥司♥工作IwasworkingatasmallfirminOrlando,然后有一天梆就那样鳄鱼吃了阴♥茎♥andoneday,bam,justlikethat,gatoreatspenis.抱歉什么Excuseme?嗯那是我第一个高关注的案子Well,thatwasmyfirsthighprofilecase.是经典的佛罗里达离婚
