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1、（土耳其叙利亚边境）你要在下午两点之前布置好哨兵线除此之外干得很好Youneedtofinishthecordonby14:00,but,um,otherwise,greatwork.好的老大Okay,boss.不对听着听我说No,no,no,no,no,no,listen.Listentome.跟他们说我不管这些山羊是谁的TellthemIdontcarewhosegoatstheyare,快把它们赶下公路justgetthemofftheroad.别激动中士等一下Relax,Sergeant.Holdon.我们可不想引起国际冲突Dontwanttocauseaninternationali
2、ncident.好了留胡子的这位先生请往那边走Right,gentlemanwiththemustache,headinthatdirection,please.戴眼罩的这位先生往相反的方向走Gentlemanwiththeeyepatch,headintheoppositedirection.我们尽量和睦地解决这个问题让山羊来做决定吧Ifwecantsortthisoutamicably.Wellletthegoatsdecide.别搞砸是长官Dontcockthisup.-Yes,sir.鲍比Bobby!这边还好吗Youallright?这个人的证件过期了长官我看看Thismanspape
3、rsareoutofdate.-Letmehavealook.你好你好Hello.-Hello.是的只过期了三天Yeah,itsonlythreedays.三天也是过期长官Itiswhatitis,sir.跟他们说这次可以让他们通过但仅此一次Tellthemtheycancomethroughthistime,butthistimeonly.让他们在返程时更新证件好吗是长官Getthemtosortitoutfortheirreturn.-Sir.弗雷德老大Smithy.-Boss.一切正常吗正常Everythingallright?-Allgood.我来处理-不用monit-No,no.我去
4、处理你留在这里-是llsortthis.Youstayhere.-Sir.你好打开车窗Selam,merhaba.你好先生Ah.Hello,sir.下午好先生Goodafternoon,sir.哈迈德Ahmed.我猜不是什么好事Iassumethisisntgoodnews.摔得很厉害Itwasanastyfall.你本可以打电♥话&hearts浩诉我Well,youcouldvejustcalledme.我们打了很多次先生Wedid,sir.Manytimes.最后你的哥哥决定Ultimately,yourbrotherdecided,作为长子astheeldestson,他有
5、必要派我前来thatitwasnecessarytodispatchme以便我向你强调sothatIcouldimpressuponyou这次情况的严重性theseverityofthesituation.我父亲要死了吗哈迈德Ismyfathergonnadie,Ahmed?阁下的病情很严重HisGracesconditionis.serious.我收到的指示是马上送你去机场Myinstructionistotakeyoutotheairportstraightaway.你的上级已经同意了Itsallbeenclearedwithyoursuperiors.好吧Right.走吧1.etsgo.
6、中士Sergeant.我们能帮上什么忙吗长官Anythingwecandotohelp,sir?现在由你负责了查理Youreinchargenow,Charlie.直到我回来TillIgetback.绅士们（盖里奇制♥作♥）欢迎回家先生Welcomehome,sir.想我了吗劳伦斯先生Didyoumissme,Mr.Lawrence?非常想念Terribly.第一集剧名：精致的侵略性你好啊弗雷迪Hello,Freddy.爱迪Eddie.爱德维纳爱德华多你回家了过来Edwina,Eduardo,youmadeit.Cometome.好样的亲爱的小子Welldone,d
7、arlingboy.好样的来好好拥抱一下来吧拥抱一下这就对了Welldone.Let,shugitout.Bringitin.HugitoutTherewego.见到你真好Goodtoseeyou.他怎么样了Howishe?老实说很糟糕是的是吗Shit,mate,tobehonest.Yeah.基本上已经回天乏术了Imean,hisgooseis.wellandtrulycooked.医生说也就是今晚了最晚明天早上Docsaysit,llbetonight,tomorrowmorninglatest你呢你怎么样Whataboutyou?Howyoudoing?说真的我也说不好我真的就是你懂的T
8、obehonest,Ivegotabsolutelynoidea.Imean,mreallyjust,youknow.妈妈怎么样HowsMum?是啊她才是需要密切关注的人Yeah,shestheoneweneedtokeepaneyeon.我很确定她一直在偷嗑爸爸的药Prettysureshe,sbeendippingherbeakinDad,smeds.她的瞳孔简直像他妈的铜铃Shesgoteyeslikefucking.hubcaps.好吧Right.振作起来来吧好的1.etskeepittogether.-Okay.当然了那个时候Ofcourse,bythattime,他已经酩酊大醉一&
9、hearts;丝♥不♥挂♥he,sthreesheetstothewind,stark-bollocknaked.完全忘记自己身在上议院He,djustforgottenhewasintheUpperChamber.他怎么可能你好夏夏Well,howthedevil.-Hello,Chuckles.你还好吗-嗯Youokay?-Yeah.他怎么样了还清醒吗Howishe?Ishelucid?有时候清醒Oh,sometimes.他有点时而清醒时而糊涂Hesabit.inandout.清醒的时候他确实很清醒Whenhesthere,he,s.definit
10、elythere.嗨妈妈Hi,Mum.亲爱的真是太好了天啊Darling,thankgoodness.-OhmyGod.你能回来他肯定很开心哪怕他不表现出来Hellbegladyoucame,evenifhedoesn,tshowit.我们出去吧走吧亲爱的Shallwegoout?Comeon,darling.第一代霍尔斯特德公爵坚韧如铁ThefirstDukeofHalsteadwastoughasiron.这个地方是他亲手建造的Builtthisplacehimself.一语一瓦Everystoneofit单枪匹马Single-handed.爸爸Dad从老修道院偷来的石砖Pinchedth
11、estonefromtheoldmonastery.是我爱德华Itsme,Edward.你为什么要背弃我们孩子Whydyouturnyourbackonus,myboy?你觉得一走了之Doyouthinkitsbrave跑去和朋友们玩硬汉游戏就显得你很勇敢了才没有togoswanningoffplayingtough-toughwithyourfriends?Itsnot.遗产不能被瓜分明白了吗Theestateisnottobecarvedup.Isthatclear?别担心这些事了好吗好好休息吧Dontworryaboutthat.Allright.Justgetsomerest.好好照顾
12、你哥哥Andlookafteryourbrother.没有你他自己是生存不下去的Hewontsurvivewithoutyou.明白了吗Youunderstand?明白了Iunderstand,Dad.第三代公爵是个刻薄的老混♥蛋♥Thethirdduke,meanoldbastard,杀死了15个法国人killed15Frenchmen光是一早上beforelunch.他忙着准备决斗Hewasgettinghimselfreadytofightaduel.结果开枪打断了自己的脚Heshothisownfootoff傻♥逼♥Sillycu
13、nt医生医生Doctor?Uh,Doctor!爱迪Eddie.（第十二代霍尔斯特德公爵阁下）（阿奇博霍雷肖兰弗霍尼曼）颂扬全能上帝AndtheblessingofGodAlmighty,圣父圣子和圣灵TheFather,theSon,andtheHolySpirit,愿上帝永远与你同在beuponyouandremainwithyoualways.阿门Amen.这个家族已经拥有这片庄园六百多年了Thisestatehasbeeninthefamilyforover600years,不到圣诞节弗雷迪就会全部糟蹋干净andFreddysgonnathelotbyChristmas.我们应该采取些行
14、动爱德华Weshoulddosomethingaboutit,Edward.如果爸爸把财产留给你你会全花在让伯克郡的熊回归野外IfDadleftittoyou,youdspenditallrewildingbearsinBerkshire.熊怎么了我喜欢熊What,swrongwithbears?1likebears.它们不会留下碳足迹而且比人类出现得更早Theyleavenocarbonfootprint,andtheywereherebeforeus.是啊它们也会他妈的吃掉你Yes,andtheyllfuckingeatyou.反正也无关紧要了Anyway,itsirrelevant.全部
15、遗产都会传给长子Theentireestategetshandeddowntothefirstbornson.弗雷迪是继承人我只是备胎Freddystheheir,andmthespare.或许我们应该一起拉他下马Maybeweshouldtopplehimtogether.这主意不错Now,theresanidea.抱歉我迟到了msosorrymlate.他终F来了Andhereheis.夫人YourGrace.乡间小路实在是狭窄Thesenarrowcountrylanes.你怎么样还好吗Howareyoufeeling?Youallright?没错坚持住Yeah,good.Hangint
16、here.马上就能开始来杯茶吧亲爱的你还好吗Wontbeamoment.-Cupoftea?Youallright?而且还被困在了拖拉机后面Stuckbehindatractorhalfthewayaswell.不错好极了Smashing.Smash-a-roosies.不用了好了No,no,no.-Right.大家都准备好了吗Iseveryoneready?赶快开始吧1.etsgetitoverwith.那我就开始了Thenllbegin.本人阿奇博霍雷肖兰弗霍尼曼,IzArchibaldHoratioLandroverHorniman,第十二代霍尔斯特德公爵the12thDukeofHal
17、stead,神志清醒beingofsoundmind特立公布并宣布此为我最终版本的遗嘱domake,publish,anddeclarethistobemylastwillandtestament杰弗里西康ToGeoffreySeacombe,为感谢他多年来的忠诚服务inacknowledgementofhisyearsoffaithfulservice,我将看门人小屋的终身租用权留给他1leavealifetimetenancyonthegatekeeperscottage.我的妻子萨布丽娜Tomywife,Sabrina,为感谢她在我们多年的幸福岁月中对我的忠贞不渝forherloyalt
18、yandfaithfulnessthroughoutourmanyhappyyearstogether,我留下一笔年度津贴1leaveanannualallowance津贴由新任公爵酌情发放thatthenewdukeshallbestowathisdiscretion还有我心爱的拉布拉多犬露娜andmybelovedLabrador,Luna,我的女儿夏洛特Tomydaughter,Charlotte,我把“坚忍♥号♥留给她IleavetheEndurance,前提是她在未来六个月内withtheconditionthatshesailaroundtheworld
19、onher乘坐它环游世界inthenextsixmonths.好样的夏夏Welldone,Chuckles.还有每周一千英镑的信托基金款Aswell,atrustfundof1,000aweek直到她结婚untilshemarries与男人aman.哇Wow.至于我剩余的全部遗产Intermsoftherestofmyestate,包括我的头衔includingmytitle,房♥产和地♥产♥thehouseandgrounds,大型酒窖theextensivewinecellar,艺术收藏品theartcollection,酸奶场和乳品场theyog
20、urtfarmanddairy,赫瑟林厄姆村庄thevillageOfHetheringham,以及法国南部的房♥产aswellasthepropertyintheSouthofFrance,均特此留给Iherebyleave我儿子tomyson.好了Allright,um-爱德华霍尼曼.EdwardHorniman.我想SoIthink,um.我在想大家是否Iwaskindofthinkingifeverybody.I-If.Um.抱歉再帮我读遍老兄Sorry.A-Againforme,oldchap.均特此留给我的儿子Ileavetomyson爱德华霍尼曼EdwardHorn
21、iman.真是不好意思msosorry.发生这种事真是太不好意思了你肯定是有点这msosorrythishashappenedtoyou.Theremustbesomesortof.Its.他是爱德华我是弗雷迪He,sEdward.mFreddy.有时候他们也叫我弗雷德华SometimestheycallmeFredward,所以有时候会搞混andsoitgetsalittlebit.mixedup.很遗憾我感觉应该是搞错了Ithinktheressomesortofmistake,unfortunately.我不这么认为1dontthinkso.我明白了你是在开玩笑你在开玩笑这是Igetit
22、,you,rekidding.Yourekiddingaround.Wasthis.Thisis.是你安排的吗这是在开玩笑吧Didyou.?Didyouarrange.?Thisisajoke,right?这种玩笑太变♥态♥了This.thisisasickjoke.是It.我才是他妈的长子这些都应该是留给我的mtheeldestfuckingson!Itwasallsupposedtogotome!这What.what.what.这他妈的是怎么回事不对Whatthefickisthis?-No.一定是搞错了Therehastobe-别碰我No,no,donttou
23、chme.弗雷迪冷静Freddy!Freddy,relax.你也别惹我-肯定是哪里搞错了Dontyoustart.-Theresgottobesomemistake.我是长子对吧mthefirstbornson,yeah?严格来说这意味着头衔是属于我的Thatmeans,technically,thetitlegoestome.我不是因为自己想要这些才这么说的ThatsnotjustmesayingitcauseitswhatIwant这是他妈的准则Its.it,sthefuckinglaw.可以追溯到圣经旧约该隐与亚伯ItgoesbacktotheBible,OldTestament,Cai
24、nandAbel.这是上帝的旨意长子继承一切ItsthewillofGod.Thefirstbornsongetseverything.这是他妈的It,sfucking.Its.its.its.its.its.这叫“长子集成制”itsprimogenital,iswhatitis.是“长子继承制”弗雷迪Primogeniture,Freddy.我就是这么说的你知道我就是这么说的ThatswhatIsaid.YouknowthatswhatIsaid.这你也听说过对吧Youveheardofthat,haventyou?当然Ofcourse.但遗嘱很明确Butthewillisclear.遗产归
25、爱德华所有TheestategoestoEdward,所有权中包含一个特殊指定继承权andthetitlecontainsaspecialremainder可以传给次子thatallowsittopasstothesecondson-哎哟真是抱歉Oh,msosorry.我他妈的才不在乎遗嘱里究竟说了什么IdontgiveagoodGodshitwhatthetermsofthewillclearlystate!来你看这个Here,look.“继承权Therightofsuccession将传给长子tothefirstborn,婚生男性孩子”legitimatemalechild.你居然给打印出
26、来了弗雷迪Didyouactuallyprintthatout?-Freddy-我也不想听你说什么麦克白夫人别暗掺和Idontwannahearfromyoueither,LadyMacbeth.Absolutelynot,no.“将继承父母的全部遗产”.toinherittheparentsentireestate.房♥子Thehouse,爵位头衔他妈的所有一切thetitle,fuckingeverything,都应该是我的itallgoestome!你摇什么头你是鸡尾酒吗摇来摇去的Whyareyoushakingyourhead?Whatareyou,acocktail?别
27、对我摇头Dontyoushakeyourheadatme!休会法官大人弗雷迪Meetingadjourned,YourHonor.-Freddy-各位先不说了我们以后再解决Everybody,lets.Packitup.-Wellpickituplateron.-No,no.别讨论了Itsover.你可以回家了非常感谢他妈的史密瑟斯先生Youcangohome,thankyouverymuch,Mr.fuckingSmithers.伯恩斯先生Mr.Burns.不会的不可能绝对不可以No,itsnothappening.Itsnothappening.哈哈好样的Haha,goodone!真的很抱
28、歉msosorry.没事No.我想等弗雷迪冷静下来后下周再重新开会IthinkwellreconvenenextweekwhenFreddyscalmeddown.然后讨论细节Talkoverdetails.-Hetookitbadly.他很不甘心-他回来了好极了Hescomingback.Perfect.绝对不行不可以Absolutelynot,no.不行No.No.No.No.我他妈的绝对不接受Iamnotfuckinghavingit!去找上帝评理吧TakeitupwithGod!去找首相评评Takeitupwiththeprimeminis-去找他妈的下议院评评理Takeitupwit
29、htheHouseoffuckingCommons!爱找谁就找谁我不管OrtakeitupthearseforallIcare.我要本该属于我的东西Iwantwhatisrightfullymine他妈的神灵赐予我的东西bydivinemotherfuckingprovenance,好吗yeah?!我的心脏被捅了一刀Ivebeenstabbedintheheart!我彻底倒塌了vebeenLondonBridged!我被人扇了一嘴巴Ivebeenfuckedintheface!被按在地上蹂蹒Doggedonthefloor!连你也这样吗布鲁图Ettu,Brute?你是怎么做到的犹大Howdid
30、youdoit,Judas?你们这群谋划阴谋的家伙Allofyou,aconspiracyofsnakes!公爵大人开始幸灾乐祸了HisGracecomestogloat.我完全不知情我跟你一样意外Ihadnoidea.mjustassurprisedasyouare.但你的意外是惊喜对吧Itsnotthesamesortofsurprise,though,isit?这是六百年来Forthefirsttime史上头一次in600years,家族打破了传统thisfamilyhasbrokenwithtradition.你♥他♥妈♥的跨在哥哥的头上跳了过
31、去Youfuckingleapfroggedoveryourolderbrother!你不讲兄弟义气啊爱德华Notveryfraternal,isit,Edward?谢了威塔我来处理就好Thankyou,WhamTam.lldealwiththis.我一会儿就上去llbeupshortly.这让我的颜面何存爱迪Howdoyouthinkthatmakesmelook,Eddie?这让我作何感想这让我该如何Hm?Howdoyouthinkitmakesmefeel?Howdoyouthinkithelpsme还清他妈的债务paymyfuckingdebts?债务弗雷迪Debts,Freddy?嗯
32、Mm-hmm.什么债务Whatkindofdebts?他妈的一屁♥股♥债务Bigfuckingdebts.听起来不像是好事Thatsoundsominous.是啊你以为呢Yeah,youthink?讲清楚一点弗雷迪Story,Freddy.还记得皮特福布斯斯宾塞吗和我在伊顿的同一个宿舍DoyourememberPeteForbesSpencer?HewasinmyhouseatEton.头发茂盛老二细小手掌总有汗他们管他叫“黏掌皮特”Bighair,tinycock,sweatyhands.TheycalledhimStickyPete.我记得皮特但我不记得他的老二
33、IrememberPete,butIdontrememberhiscock.开始在房♥地♥产♥领域赚大钱人们成群结队地等着进去Startedmakingafortuneinproperty.Peoplewerequeuingindrovestogetin.我给了他一百万三个月后拿回了一百五十万Igavehimonemillion,got1.5backthreemonthslater.简直他妈的难以置信Itwasun-fucking-believable.接下来的项目在马尔代夫建摩天大楼Nextproject,skyscraperintheMaldive
34、s.首个首次先到先得Firstone.Firsttime.Firstcome,firstserved.一共投入了四百万砰One,two,three,fourmillion.Bosh.然后And?然后呢Well,then.然后发生了什么弗雷迪Andthenwhat,Freddy?然后就出问题了Thenthetitswentup.飓风来了飞机失事了闪电击中了Thehurricanehit.Theplanecrashed.Thelightningstruck.一切都哗啦啦地垮了ThetorpedowentChittyChittyBangBang.你还想听我说什么爱迪又不是我的错是老天在搞我Whatd
35、oyouwantmetosay,Eddie?Itwasntmyfault.Godfuckedme!你哪来的四百万英镑弗雷德华Wheredidyouget4millionfrom,Fredward?是从汤米迪克森那里拿的Well,thatcamefromTommyDixon.行吧Right.汤米迪克森又是谁Andwho,sTommyDixon?我在戒毒所认识的一个家伙AchapImetinrehab.利物浦毒贩1.iverpudlianchopdealer.他说想把钱先借给我说他也想“参与马尔代夫”Saidhewantedtofrontmethemoney.Saidhewantedintothe
36、Maldives.所以也就是说So,forclarity,你欠了一位利物浦毒贩四百万英镑youoweaScousecocainedealer4million?不是的No.我欠了一整个利物浦毒贩家族IoweaScousecrimefamily.我们盯上你了弗雷迪Werecomingforyou,Freddy.八百万英镑.8million.等等弗雷迪Holdon,Freddy.从四百万变成八百万我搞不懂了Fourtoeight.Throwmeananchor.我也不懂爱迪反正就是违法复利1dontknow,Eddie.Criminalcompoundinterest反正就那样好吧Whatever,
37、okay?他们是黑帮Theyregangsters.可以他妈的随便收利息Theyfuckingmakeitupastheygoalong!你还好吗伙计Allright,mate?每周利息25%直到债务还清为止25%everyweekuntilthedebtspaid.顺便说如果不按时付款他们可不惜下狠手Andtheyrenotafraidofgettingnastywhenyoudontpayupontime.他们现在声称如果我这周末之前不交钱Ifldontcomeupwiththemoneybytheendoftheweek,他们会砍掉我的老二they,regonnachopmyfuckin
38、gdickoff.顺便说一句这会死人的我查过rWhichisfatal,bytheway.Ilookeditup.我不能给你八百万英镑弗雷迪Icantgiveyou8million,Freddy.你偷走了我的头衔Youstolemytitle.你偷走了我的钱Youstolemymoney.现在你偷走了我唯一逃出这条黑洞的路AndnowyoustoletheonlywayIhadofgettingoutofthishole这可是上帝他妈的给我挖的thatGodfuckingdugforme!别忘了阁下1.estweforget,sir,你还欠我一条命youowemeyourlife.你三岁的时候
39、我把你从池塘里拉出来记得吗Whenyouwerethree,Ipulledyououtoftheduckpond,remember?不我不记得了No,Idontrememberthat.但我倒是记得你总是跟我提这件事ButIdorememberyoutellingmeaboutitincessantly.重点是我救过你的命Thepointis,Isavedyourlife.现在淹在水里的人换成我了NowImtheonelyingfacedowninthewater,你得把我救上来andyouhavegottopullmeout.弗雷迪这一切都不是我主动要的Freddy.Ididntaskfor
40、anyofthis.爵位头衔没有什么实用价值Thetitlehasnopracticalvalue.生意失败了Thebusinessisbroken.屋顶上还有洞Thereareholesintheroof.政♥府♥很贪心Thegovernmentisgreedy.薪水太低了工作人员在造♥反♥Thepayrollisugly.TheStaffarerevolting.而你Andyou是个吸毒的傻♥逼♥areacoke-sniffingcunt.但是呢However,因为你什么也没得到而且被打了个措手不及beca
41、useyouvebeenpassedupandyouvebeencaughtwithyourpantsdown.我会帮你想想办法Illlookintoitforyou.爸爸Daddy,你都做了什么好事whathaveyoubeenupto?我是爱德华霍尼曼想找哈迈德伊世宝谢谢EdwardHornimanforAhmedIqbal.Thankyou.有什么需要帮忙的阁卜HowmayIhelpyou,YourGrace?我需要在本周末之前拿到一大笔现金Ineedtogetalargeamountofcashbytheendoftheweek.具体要多少Howmuchexactly?八百万英镑Eig
42、htmillionpounds.老天爷Goodness.天啊JesusChrist.六百万英镑Sixmillionsterling.你继承的遗产让你变得非常富有Yourinheritancehasmadeyouaverywealthyman,但这并不意味着你有钱butthatdoesntmeantosaythatyourerich.你的资产很丰富但现金匮乏Youreassetrich,cashpoor.跟我说说Tellme,为什么过去五年来howcometherearenosignificanttransactions我父亲的账户没有大笔资金变动inanyOfmyfathersbankacco
43、untsinthelastfiveyears?我们从未讨论过你父亲的私人开支Yourfatherspersonalexpenditurewassomethingweneverdiscussed.好吧Right.那么债券股票和股份呢Whataboutbonds,stocksandshares?完全没有-没Therearentany.-There.?可能有些事情我们没有提到Theremighthavebeenmatterswe.didntaddress.但是当然了我无可奉告But,ofcourse,Icouldntcomment.这就有点神秘了哈迈德Well,that,srathercryptic
44、,Ahmed.你可以卖♥♥掉庚斯伯勒的画YoucouldselltheGainsborough.但要获取最大价值Buttoattaintheultimatevalue需要几个月的时间willtakeanumberofmonths.有一位身在伦敦的律师Therehasbeena.slightlyunconventionalapproach提出了一个非常规的提议fromalawyerbasedinLondon.他的客户有兴趣收♥购♥霍尔斯特德庄园HisclienthasexpressedaninterestinpurchasingHalsteadManor.人一死秃鹰就开始盘旋Whensomeonedies,thevulturesstartcircling.真是厚颜无♥耻♥啊Rathercheeky,is
